479 - Old Patterns Die Hard (Why You Know Better and Still Don't Do It)

More from High Capacity – Nervous System Regulation, Stress Management, Burnout Recovery, Somatic Tools, Anxiety, Boundaries, Overwhe All episodes →

1. 

   E484 · 1 Sep 2026 · 27 min

   484 - Why You Overreact to Small Things (and Stay Calm for Big Ones)

   Think about the last time you lost it over something relatively minor. The spilled drink. The shoes left in the hallway. The question you'd been asked one too many times. Some part of you knew, even in the moment, that it wasn't that big of a deal. And you came apart anyway. But here's the truth: the small thing was never the size of your reaction. It was just the thing that landed on a system that was already completely full. In this episode, we unpack why the small stuff sets you off, when ...

2. 

   E483 · 28 Aug 2026 · 46 min

   483 - 5 Things Your Kids Are Learning From Your Nervous System

   Your kids aren't learning emotional regulation from what you tell them about it. They're learning it from what your body does when you're stressed. They read your nervous system all day and quietly calibrate their own to match - it's co-regulation in action. In this episode, I walk all five Capacity Patterns through parenting. What each one passes on when you're stressed, and what each kid actually needs from you. So the single most powerful thing you can do for your kids' regulation is...

3. 

   E482 · 25 Aug 2026 · 31 min

   482 - This Is Why You Struggle With Boundaries (It's Not Willpower)

   There's a boundary you've set more than once. You had the conversation, you were clear, you felt good walking away. And a week later, a month later, you're right back in the exact dynamic you thought you'd resolved. You know the scripts. You could teach a workshop on healthy boundaries. And you still keep over-committing, over-explaining, saying yes when everything in you meant no. The problem isn't that you don't know how to set a boundary. The problem is what h...

4. 

   E481 · 21 Aug 2026 · 37 min

   481 - The Real Reason You Snap, Shut Down, or Cave in Conflict

   Picture the last real conflict you were in. Chest tight, face hot, some part of you already gone. Did you snap? Shut down? Cave and agree to something you didn't mean? Whatever you did, it probably wasn't how you'd have told a friend to handle it. Some other version of you took the wheel. Here's the real reason: that version isn't a character flaw. She's a pattern, and she has a signature move the second things get tense. This week I break down what happens in your body in the first two secon...

5. 

   E480 · 18 Aug 2026 · 27 min

   480 - You Don't Need More Information. You Need a New Default

   Hot take: you don’t need more information. If information were the thing standing between you and the life you want to feel like you're living, you'd have crossed the finish line years ago. So why are you still snappy at 6pm, still saying yes when you mean no, still lying awake replaying the thing you already understand completely? It’s because you don't have an information problem. You have a default problem. And you cannot fix a default pattern with more information. ...

6. 

   E478 · 11 Aug 2026 · 45 min

   478 - Breathwork for Real Life: No 45-Minute Morning Routine Required with MJ Renshaw

   You tell yourself you’re easygoing. You don’t yell, you rarely cry, you keep it together when everyone else falls apart. But what looks like calm is often something else entirely: a lifetime of suppressing anything uncomfortable, and a body quietly paying the bill for it. MJ Renshaw, author of How to Cry and founder of the Being Method, joins me to explain the real science of what suppressed emotion does to your body, and how to actually let it move through, whether that’s learning to c...

7. 

   E477 · 7 Aug 2026 · 16 min

   477 - Hi-Cap Friday: Why Your Morning Sets Your Nervous System’s Baseline for the Whole Day

   You wake up already reactive, responding to someone else’s needs before you’ve taken a single conscious breath. And by 8am you’re somehow already spent, already behind. That’s not a discipline problem. The first thirty to sixty minutes of your day quietly set the cortisol curve and stress baseline you’ll run on for the next twelve hours, whether you choose it or not. This week’s Hi-Cap Move reframes the morning routine as nervous system strategy, not a productivity hack, and gives...

8. 

   E476 · 4 Aug 2026 · 38 min

   476 - Everything’s Fine, But You Don’t Feel Okay. Here’s What That Actually Means with Dr. Anne Walsh

   You’re capable, devoted, doing everything right on paper. And you still feel like you’re failing, guilty when you work, restless with your kids, exhausted and not sure why. That’s not a personal failing. It’s a bind you were handed, and once you can see it, you can start to climb out of it. Dr. Anne Walsh, clinician, coach, and author of a new book on what she calls the ambition paradox, joins me to name the trap that keeps high-achieving women invisible in their own lives. Then s...

9. 

   E475 · 31 Jul 2026 · 20 min

   475 - Hi-Cap Friday: The 5-Minute Practice for Releasing What You Can’t Control

   You can see exactly what someone you love needs to change. You’ve had the conversation five, ten, fifteen times. And you still cannot make them want it. That gap, between what you can see and what you can control, is quietly draining more of your capacity than almost anything on your to-do list. This week’s Hi-Cap Move is a five-minute, three-step somatic practice for the moment you catch yourself gripping an outcome that was never yours to hold. Name it, feel it, release it. If you’ve ...

10. 

    E474 · 28 Jul 2026 · 44 min

    474-The Self-Led Woman Pyramid: 6 Pillars for Real Confidence with Rita Palumbo

    Rita Palumbo, an aerospace engineer at the European Space Agency, joins me to explain why real confidence and authority start in the body before they’re skills. But here’s what really makes her story land. During her PhD, Rita nearly burned out. Brain fog, exhaustion, unable to think clearly or lead her own research. And it sent her searching for the thing no one had ever taught her: how to actually take care of herself. She became a yoga teacher and a coach, left engineerin...