Reckoning with the End of a Relationship (Belle Burden)

More from Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

1. 

   E301 · 2 Jul 2026 · 50 min

   Struggle Is Real—Suffering is Optional (BJ Miller, MD)

   Hi, friends. For those who are interested, I’m saying more about this in my solo episodes, but as I was preparing to recover from a non-life-threatening (and yet major) health surgery, I spent some time thinking about what would be meaningful to share with you all for the next few weeks or so. And I landed on a shortlist of conversations that I’ve had on Pulling the Thread over the years that resonated with listeners, that stuck with me, and that feel ever more relevant today, and worthy of a first-time listen now—and even a re-listen. First up is my conversation with everybody’s favorite…

2. 

   E300 · 29 Jun 2026 · 54 min

   A Life Update (Monthly Solo)

   I spent the past month largely recovering from a (successful) double mastectomy—it was very intense, and I also had amazing care, from my team at UCLA, and from my family and friends. I am healing well and my prognosis couldn’t be better—I’m very lucky that intervention was early and I am not fighting for my life. I recorded this episode before my surgery—I did this for a number of reasons: to record the process of navigating options, to highlight where the big fear pockets were for me, and also to work through a second diagnosis, that’s scary-sounding but also in hand. If you’ve faced…

3. 

   E299 · 25 Jun 2026 · 1 hr 4 min

   Getting Out of the Unconscious Loyalty Trap (Mark Wolynn)

   Mark Wolynn is a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, the director of the Family Constellation Institute in San Francisco, and author of the recently updated classic It Didn't Start with You (there’s also now a companion workbook). I find his work endlessly fascinating. Here, he helps us see how inherited family trauma, attachment trauma, and unconscious loyalty is often unknowingly affecting our lives—and, importantly, what we can do about it to make positive change in our lives now, and for future generations. For the show notes, head to my website. Learn more about your ad…

4. 

   E297 · 11 Jun 2026 · 1 hr 4 min

   What’s Behind Lasting Attraction? (Paul Eastwick, PhD)

   I had so much fun reading psychologist Paul Eastwick’s book Bonded by Evolution: The New Science of Love and Connection. A lot of his work reveals the enduring myths that are engrained in our culture and our minds about attraction, compatibility, gender differences, and relationships—and why these myths have been somewhat mistakenly connected to evolutionary psychology. The way he debunks these myths is so helpful, and also very entertaining, I think, whether you are single, dating, or in a relationship. Today, he shares some great hot takes on the apps; the significance (or not!) of first…

5. 

   E296 · 4 Jun 2026 · 57 min

   Why Women Need Fairytales Now (Sharon Blackie, PhD)

   “That’s the kind of story, that's the kind of image that I'm talking about—that really just sinks into you and won’t let go,” says psychologist Sharon Blackie. Today, Blackie returns to discuss her new book Ripening: Why Women Need Fairytales Now. Once again, her perspective is helping me make sense of who we are at different stages of our lives. Sharon's first episode on Pulling the Thread: "How to Fully Engage with the Rest of Your Life" For the show notes, head to my website. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

6. 

   E295 · 28 May 2026 · 58 min

   The Promise of Dark Retreat (Andrew Holecek)

   “We’re all addicted to light,” says Andrew Holocek, author of Total Eclipse of the Mind: Unleashing the Power of Darkness for Creativity, Healing, and Transformation. “We’re all light junkies in the deepest possible way. And so because we're so lost in the light, blinded by the light, that I think the pendulum is swinging back. And there's a deep intimation, it may be inarticulate for a number of people—why so many people are simultaneously attracted and repulsed by the darkness, of what it represents.” Today, Holocek (who has been meditating for 50 years and doing dark retreat for 30)…

7. 

   E318 · 8 Oct 2026 · 1 hr 2 min

   6 Archetypes That Shape Our Relationships (Galit Atlas, PhD)

   In her private therapy practice, renowned psychoanalyst Galit Atlas, PhD, has identified six archetypes that shape our intimate relationships as adults. She says that every adult carries one of these archetypes with them, and that usually we carry more than one. She’s named them: the frightened child, the melancholic child, the ashamed child, the invisible child, the guilty child (I identify big-time with this one), and the chosen child. Today, we talk through these archetypes as Galit brings us into the therapy room and shares some incredibly resonant stories from her work with her…

8. 

   E317 · 1 Oct 2026 · 1 hr 4 min

   Navigating a New Era (Carissa Schumacher)

   “The alchemy pathway brings back synchronicity, unity, harmony to all of these different parts of self,” says psychic medium Carissa Schumacher. Her book—The Alchemy Transmissions: A Pathway to Miracles—is out this week, and it’s a series of transmissions she channeled from Yeshua (Jesus)! Today, we’re talking about what else this pathway might offer us, how to navigate the new era that we’re in, how to become more consciously mature, and how to step more deeply into your own unique essence. For the show notes (including a link to Carissa’s 92nd Street Y event on October 3, which you can…

9. 

   E316 · 28 Sep 2026 · 32 min

   Our Gifts Are Emergent (Monthly Solo)

   It’s just me today, sharing an update on my next surgery (I’m still doing well!), and reflecting on something that someone shared with me at a book event a few weeks ago. It got me thinking about how our gifts are emergent; they show up at different times in our lives, and in different ways. And sometimes, we’re being called to simply be present. I’m also starting to reflect back on the last seven-year cycle (more about why in the episode), and hope you’ll join me in thinking about who you were, too, in the fall of 2019. To see the show notes and my newsletter, to register for upcoming…

10. 

    E315 · 24 Sep 2026 · 50 min

    The Core of Consciousness (Antonio Damasio, MD, PhD)

    “Feeling is really the core of consciousness,” says Antonio Damasio, MD, PhD. “And it's giving you information about what it is like to be alive, and how your life is going, and what you need to do about it.” Damasio is the director of the Brain and Creativity Institute at the University of Southern California and the author of several books including, his latest, Natural Intelligence & the Logic of Consciousness. Today, he shares his beautiful explanation of this kind of feeling, along with his reflections on spirituality and the sublime. For the show notes, head to eliseloehnen.com. Learn…

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