#315: Our 3 Style Words & Tattoo Talk

0:00Emma You're listening to the Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host Emma Chapman. Elsie And I'm your host Elsie Larson. Emma Today we're figuring out our three style words, trying to convince a skeptic that cookbooks are worth it, and giving our best tattoo advice to a listener. Plus, we'll share a hot take on gender reveal parties. Bum bum bum. Elsie Yep, the suspense is killing me. So we have a listener question from Laura. A friend concerned about the abundance of fast fashion clothing items in her landfills told me about a way to buy clothing. She said that the best way to shop for clothing is to determine your three style words and only buy items that fit into those categories. This reduces the amount of clothing you buy, and you only keep briefly because it follows trends or is on sale rather than fitting your actual style. I did this several years ago, and I've also had my colors done. And now I have a closet full of clothing that I love. My three words are whimsical, boho, and punk. That is very fun and cool, by the way. I think these style words carry

0:16over into other aspects of our life, including home decor, hairstyles, and even travel destinations. Okay, we are on the same. We are very aligned, Laura. Do you think this could help people making decisions and avoid feeling overwhelmed by following the latest trends, I know that you've had episodes on the curated closet and getting your colors done, but I think this is a different viewpoint that I'm interested in hearing what you have to say. Okay, I do think we've also had an episode about this exact thing before, but we're doing it again because it like is it's a great topic. I think we talked about it briefly, though.

0:22Yeah, and it's been years, probably. So who cares? So this concept we want to give credit is from Allison Bornstein. She's on Instagram. You can follow her there if you want to learn more of her tips. And she also has a book called Wear It Well, which I think we've we we've at least talked about in the past. I read it and I did the steps in my own closet a couple years ago, and found it very helpful. We talked once in our book club recently, like the three style words. Were you there?

0:27Emma I don't remember. Okay, maybe just with you about the three. She's late every time. Your three, yeah, I'm so late every time. Yeah. Elsie Okay, so tell your three style words, and then let's kind of get into. I I think this is just such a good topic. I agree, Laura, that it's not just your closet. It kind of can be your whole style touches everything. Your the way you decorate your home, where you choose to vacation, everything. Like yeah, even like the the movies that you watch and just everything. If you if you want it to, I think it's great.

0:35Emma Yeah, I feel like I know your three style words better than my own. I'm trying because I know we said it in a past episode, and I'm like, I don't remember what I said. Elsie Okay, well, I think the advice is that there's three words, and the first one is practical, and the last one is aspirational. But I don't remember what the middle one is supposed to be, but it's kind of just supposed to be like the like a pyramid, like the three parts of your own spectrum.

0:42Emma Okay, that resonates with me because I feel like I do think of like three things when I'm evaluating like a new item of clothing, or if I'm cleaning out my closet and I'm like, do I still want this? And for me, it's the three things because we're going to go back to the words. I promise, but the three things are: Does this fit my body well? So, like, do I feel comfortable in it? If I feel I'm constantly tugging at it, or it's uncomfortable in some way, so there's that, and that also kind of plays into like knowing your body type and feeling happy with it and embracing it. Yeah, and then the other piece of the pyramid is colors. I did get my colors red. I found it immensely helpful. I still break the rules sometimes, but when I do, I know I am, and I like that. It gives it makes me feel more in control rather than like oh these are controlling me.

0:51I'm like I don't feel that way because I know when I'm breaking the rules, and it's like because I really want to wear the sweater vest because you know I'm on the sweater vest. I recently bought like a pumpkin spice colored sweater vest because that's our colors for Texas Longhorns. I will send you a photo. It's the dorkiest vest you've ever seen. I love it. I spent way too much money on a Poshmark. Anyway, my father in law is going to die when he sees it. I can't wait. I cannot wait. Okay, and then the third one, other than does it fit my body? Does it fit my colors? You know, those two are like basically like, does this make me feel good in this? Do I feel good in this? Do I feel confident in this? The third one for me is I basically think of it as weird art because I let things into my closet if they make me feel a little bit like Miss Frizzle or a little bit like this is sort of a conversation starter in a way that I think is cool because that's how I pick art for my walls in my home too. I like something that's a little bit weird or has a story behind it or you know it's maybe a little bit wacky in a way. So I have a number of things in my

1:02closet that are like they're kind of a little bit wacky and it's a little. Bit of a dopamine dressing thing for me, where I'm like, this is like a weird art girl. Like, this is what she would wear to class, to you know, to do art. So yeah, that's those kind of like those are the three things for me. But those aren't really words. Yeah, I'm like, I need a better defining the words. Elsie Let's define the three words. I feel like one of them could be like quirky or offbeat to go with the Miss Frizzle thing, right? And then, would you say...

1:09Emma My closet's pretty colorful. Elsie Okay, colorful. So, Emma So colorful might be a good word for me because it's not that I don't wear black or white. I actually have quite a bit of white because that looks better on me than black. But a lot of my my closet's pretty colorful if you walk in there. Elsie Do you have like a practical word? Like my practical word is cozy. Emma I don't think I do. Elsie How do you dress on your like comfortable days?

1:23Emma I feel like I might have said my words were weird, hot mom. So think about that ringing a bell for me. Oh my god! Because when you're like, "What's your practical word? I'm like, "Well, a lot of my clothes are things I can play on the floor in. Like I have certain outfits that I'm like I can't wear this if I'm going to be with my two year old most of the day because I'm going to play on the floor a lot and it's like a long dress or something that doesn't work for me. You know, going upstairs carrying him or something. I feel like I said my weird hot mom might have been one. Maybe I should make it weird colorful mom.

1:30Because I don't really know what hot means exactly. Yeah, I always feel like I'm. You know, I'm always like, yeah. Elsie That's true. Hot's a little bit of a nothing word. So weird, nothing word. Colorful mom is cute. I think that's. I think that is good, and that that'll help me if I'm buying you a gift. I'll think about that. That you want to go in that direction, and I'll feel more confident buying you something weird now, or colorful, or so, or like fun.

1:37Emma She'll wear this playing with the kids at the playground because yeah, that's what you know. A lot of what I do right now. Elsie Yeah. No, one thing about Emma is I think her style has always kind of been inside of her because the way she dresses now does remind me of how she dressed in junior high and high school. Yeah. Emma That's criteria for me too. I'm like this, reminds me of high school Emma because I view her as like she was actually very authentic. I was really myself back then. Oh yeah, not that I'm not now, but just like I'm like yeah, that I was doing my thing because high school and middle school is such a weird time, you know. So of course I was going through stuff like everyone does, but I'm like, yeah. If it reminds me of high school, Emma, I'm like, yes to this thing.

1:49Elsie Now I remember like people in our church would say to me like, you don't have to dress weird all the time, and I would be like, yes, I do. Yeah, but why wouldn't I? What do even mean? Yeah, like it is a need in my soul. Yeah. So yeah, I have. Emma How would I express myself otherwise? Yeah, there are other ways, but. Elsie Okay, my three words are cozy, vintage, goth, and okay, so cozy I think is just the truest word that I am like a comfortable dresser. I'm trying not to dress comfortable every day anymore because I did get into a sweatpants era. I am the kind of person I have to get rid of things like my crutch clothing. I just have to simply get rid of them to not wear them anymore. So I used to have these like sweatpants shorts.

2:00They're gone, and I have these certain pajama pants that probably need to go things like that. Emma Yeah. Elsie And then vintage. I've always loved vintage, but it's not even. It's not even like what Emma was saying in the last episode. It's not even that it has to be vintage. It has to feel, look vintage. So there are new, brand new clothes that are based on vintage styles. I think that kind of still counts. Yeah, I have been shopping a lot more on eBay recently, and like I was testing the Siri. I don't know if you've like. Do you do you like the Bran Doan? Do you care about this? Yeah, I do. I know what it is for people who care.

2:09Yeah, for people who care, like I'm. I love it. I'm obsessed with it. It's one of my top three places where I like to shop, and I do wear the clothes that I buy there a lot for a long time. But they have like different sides of their stuff, and they have some dresses that really do just look like vintage pajamas. And those, it feels kind of weird spending $400 on. So I bought a whole bunch of vintage pajamas from eBay that were like $20, and I'm just gonna try wearing them as fancy clothing and see if it works. And I'm I'm just testing the theory that they're the same thing, and I think they might be. So we'll see.

2:15Emma I believe it. Elsie We'll see how it turns out. Okay. Emma Yes. What does goth mean to you? Elsie So goth is my aspiration word where I definitely don't. I'm definitely not going to be ever like a full goth like the way that you would see someone in a movie or something. So goth is my aspiration word. I'm never going to be a true full goth, obviously. But I like having pale skin. I'm embra. I've been. Braced my pale skin. I'm not really once in a while. I do like a self tanner, but not really, not very much. And I'm definitely not getting any sun. And then I, at the moment, I still have my dyed black hair. I might go to dark brown, but it's never going to be like that different because light hair looks bad on me, and then I think that the the goth it really comes more into my home decor, but it comes a little bit into my wardrobe with antique jewelry. So I have a Victorian jewelry collection, pretty small, and then I have a big costume jewelry collection, and those are fun. They're just like fun categories. I just I love them, and I fantasize that my estate sale is going to be the estate sale for the ages. Like they're going to know

2:32about it in other universes. It's so great, and yeah, I know. I just I like collecting. Okay, so back to Laura's point, I agree that fast fashion is bad, but I don't I don't boycott it completely, and I'm not gonna like lie about that. Like I bought from American Eagle two days ago. Emma There you go. Elsie It was a skeleton two piece. Cancel her. It was it was it was a great little thing, but I think that you should minimize. I think having less hauls, and I think the most important thing, no matter where you buy your clothes from, you know, because you don't have to buy $400 dresses. Like that's not realistic for most people, and it's silly. I like I know that. So anyway, I think the main thing is that you just you buy stuff you're going to use for a long time, and you really use it for a long time. And like, who cares if it comes from Target or if it comes from an eco-friendly brand? Can you know? Because it's like there's the whole greenwashing. I don't know. I don't know.

2:45Emma It's a lot of research. Yes, it would be good for a little more regulation. Yeah, would be good. Elsie And I'm not an expert in that field, but I can just see that like you can't win. I know that, and I think the one thing that you can do to like minimize waste for yourself, for your mental health, for making it easier to get dressed, for the environment, for everything is to be more picky about what you buy, buy less, and wear it for longer, so I think we should consider our closets like our own little curated masterpiece collection. And yeah, when I go through my closet, I'm like, I love everything. I love my closet, and it's taken years to get to that point. And I will be slowly building it for the rest of my life because it's a hobby.

2:54Also, yeah, that's how I see it. Emma Yeah, yeah, and it's great to buy used. There's lots of places online you can do that. I've been talking about how I spend too much money on sweater vests on Poshmark. This is a true story. There's thrifting. There's flea markets. There's vintage shopping. I think that can be tough with little kids. I feel like little kids is a thing where it's like I really understand fast fashion because they go through the clothes so fast and it's and they grow out of them so quickly and they you know my kids get a lot of dirt and paint on it which I like and I want them to do, but it ruins the clothes you know so it's just like ah and then it's always a bummer when you get something, and maybe I'm just not very smart about laundry. I'm not. Every now and again, I buy something, and then it will shrink to a way where it doesn't fit me anymore, or it doesn't fit me properly. So then, if it's something I loved, which usually is the case, I save it for like clothing exchanges, which I do with my friends. But that's always like a bummer moment too, where you're like, I wanted to keep this a long time, and now I've ruined it because I didn't

3:07realize what setting I was supposed to. I throw everything in, you know. I separate the colors from the whites, but that's all I've got when it comes to laundry. And it's like that's not enough sometimes. But anyway, so yeah, I think it's tough. I think just like try is what I would say. Try, do your best. It's not going to be perfect if you see someone running who's talking about some of these things, making our industries, making our Earth, you know, better, safer, you know, water cleaner, these are good things.

3:12Fashion plays into that, but so do lots of other things too. A lot of people are talking about the data centers right now because of AI and stuff like that. So yeah, I think trying to take care of our environment is tough, but we should all care and do our best, and be looking to the leaders who care too. Elsie Right, right, right. I think you should vote. Always, you know, we're always going to be voting. Yep. I strongly believe that climate change cannot rest solely on the shoulders of moms. You know. Yeah. So that's that's where I I don't go, but I don't think that most people really have that attitude. I think that the fast fashion it is a real problem, and it's been a real problem in my own closet. And I I get it, and statistically it's a problem. I get that. Yeah, but yeah, reusing things, finding ways to. Repair clothing, like if you're willing to learn to repair clothing, gold star for you. If you wear something like that's more than five years old, gold star for you. And if you're being extra picky and you're like filling a cart and then you're taking everything out except for one thing that you're very favorite, gold star for you, you

3:25know. I think we can all just do our best. Emma Yeah. Yep. What else can we do but our best? Oh, love it. What's next? This question's from Swandi. I would love for you guys to convince me why cookbooks are worth investing in versus just using online recipes, Pinterest. Also, would be lovely to hear your guys's top few cookbook recommendations would be specifically helpful if they were books with approachable recipes. I don't have time for elaborate dinners as I have a two-year-old, but I love to cook. I hear you. Those two-year-olds never leave you alone long enough to do anything. Yeah, it's true. Honestly, hearing someone say they want cookbook recommendations, I'm like, can you give me a week, like because I love cookbooks. So I'm, and I'm like, okay, you want approachable stuff, and you have a family. You mentioned a two year old, so I'm like, okay, that narrows it down to. I love cookbooks, so I don't even know if I'm prepared enough to do it for this episode. Maybe I should do it for Christmas in case people are buying gifts. Oh yeah, we should do a gift episode. I think that's really fun. But let's talk about cookbooks. Okay, so first off, I feel

3:38like this argument is like, why buy cookbooks versus using online recipes, Pinterest? Elsie Why are we versus? Let's do both. Yeah. Well, okay. I will admit, I have a huge cookbook collection. I don't really use them hardly at all, so I'll I'll convince you based on that. The reason why I buy cookbooks is to support people because people who write cookbooks they usually have one every five to 10 years, and usually they're people who are creating a lot of free content on social media or on blogs, and I think they deserve to be supported with just like a simple $25 purchase. You know what I mean? So I always will pre order books like this because I know that for them this is a huge milestone.

3:46We've had a cookbook before; like it's it's a huge milestone. Usually, only get to do one or two. There's very few people that do a whole, you know, the Martha Stewarts of the world. Most people do one or two cookbooks in their life, and it's it's a huge amount of work. It's more like an art project, like it's a huge amount of photo shoot labor and like mental load. And usually, they're doing it on top of their other work that they're already doing. Most people don't. I actually I don't know how big people's cookbook advances are, but I haven't ever met anyone who got a huge amount of money from making a cookbook. Usually, it's more of a passion project, or I should say, often. It's a passion project. I just think it's worth it to support them. It's just it like I'm a no book budget person. I think like books are one of the best and most direct ways to support the people who made them, and yeah, if you appreciate what you do, like I just think it's a nice thing to do. So, but yeah, I don't, I don't really like use them. If I'm being honest.

3:57Emma I use mine. So here's my advice for based on this question, and I could be totally wrong, but just reading the words, taking them for what they are. I'm thinking that this person may not like love cooking. It may not be like one; they don't have time for it. That they have a young child that you got to keep an eye on, but also it just may not be a big passion in their life. So here's the two things that I would say they should focus on when buying cookbooks. Okay, one something that is very practical that fits their diet and their needs. So for me at my home, we do a lot of like high protein, low fat cooking. This is just things that my husband and I both need for our own health reasons. So I recently bought a cookbook that's called The Chicken Bible, and it's really good. It's from America's Test Kitchen, and it has tons of chicken recipes, as you can imagine, because I find chicken to be rather boring. Yeah, but it is very good for you. If you don't eat meat, that's totally fine. But if you're looking for something high protein, low fat, chicken is a great option. And I was just wanting a lot more variety, so I bought that cookbook,

4:09and it's actually gorgeous. The title is very funny. It's maybe a little sacrilegious, but I I love it. It's very funny to me. The photos are great, and the recipes are wonderful. I've made quite a few things from it, and it was very helpful. And it's kind of nice because I feel like so I love also getting recipes online. I don't think you should stop. I think you should absolutely look up recipes online, Pinterest, and otherwise Google them. This is how food bloggers make their living, and they do a good job. I use so many recipes from online; I love it. But when you're on your computer, maybe this never happens to you, but I tend to get distracted, and so a cookbook is kind of a nice way to ensure that you're you're not on your phone scrolling recipes, and then all of a sudden you're on TikTok looking at whatever, or you're on your desktop, and you're like, I actually. I just check my email for a second. It's kind of nice to just pull out a book and be like, "I'm making this recipe, and there is nothing that's going to distract me.

4:19I'm just, you know, looking at this recipe right now. So anyway, so helpful cookbooks that are like fit your diet, fit your lifestyle, and then the other thing I'll say because she mentions having a kid, I have bought my kids' cookbooks before, so I bought my older son a cookbook for Christmas this past year, and then I sat with him. Not immediately; first, he wanted to play with the toys, of course, but later, over Christmas break, we went through the cookbook and put little post-its and things we wanted to make together, and I let him pick, and he picked lots of like things that sounded good to him, and I think this can be a good thing for picky eaters. But I also think this can just be a good thing for kids who enjoy a project, and maybe they like cooking, or maybe they just like doing something with you. And so then, if you have a day where you're like, "What should we do? You can pull out the cookbook that you gave them, some kind of kids' cooking cookbook, and be like, let's make these banana blueberry muffins.

4:29Look, you put a post-it. Do you want to make those? Let's see if we have the recipe, all the stuff for the recipe. You know, whatever. Or you can plan ahead to be like, on Friday we're going to make those cookies that you wanted to make, whatever. And I just think it can be like something you're doing together. And again, now you're not on a screen. You're using a cookbook, and it's a it's a life skill too. You're showing them how to read a recipe. This is where we look for the ingredients and we gather them. Now I'm going to show you how to do that.

4:35Emma And depending on their age, obviously the two year old is only going to help with like mixing things. But as they progress, they get the kid knives and they learn how to cut things up and so on and so forth. And it doesn't have to be something that you're doing with your kids all the time, unless you have a kid who loves cooking, like Elsie does. Yeah, then great. But it is a great life skill that everyone should have to know how to make yourself a nice meal, a good meal, a healthy meal. This is great. So you know, I would say cookbooks are wonderful for kids, preteens, teenagers, as well as a way to do something together and have, and you're eating it afterwards, so it's a consumable, and you're not on a screen; you're using a book.

4:44Elsie Yeah, no, they're they're a work of art. Emma doesn't even know who Narsmith is, and she already pre-ordered her cookbook just because it looked so cool. Like the cover was eagerly away. Artistic, yeah. And like Emma doesn't even have TikTok. Like she has no idea. Like it was just so funny. I was like, "This lady's pretty, huh? Yeah. I don't know what's going on. Yeah. So yeah, no. I I think cookbooks are a wonderful collection. They're great way to support people. And yeah, like Emma said, kids' cookbooks are our our daughter who's eight can make a whole recipe by herself with just the most minimal supervision, and it's so fun. Like it's it's so cool to like encourage that and kind of take those steps together.

4:53Emma But if you hate baking, don't buy a pastry book. You don't have to. Don't worry about that. But if you love it, then yeah, there's there's a whole category for you. So make it your own. There are so many different kinds of cookbooks. But if you're, it's not really your thing. But you have kids, stick with something practical and something like a kids cookbook. I would still recommend those two things to anyone. Elsie Agree. Okay. Do you want to read this next one? It is a tattoo question.

5:00Emma Yes. So Mary Rachel says, "My beloved, almost 17-year-old dog Scout, like in *To Kill a Mockingbird* just passed, and I want to get a tattoo in her honor. I have zero tattoos currently, so the stakes feel high. Here's my question: I'm thinking of getting Scout's initials on one of my wrists, and I vaguely remember Emma getting two love love tattoos on her wrist. Did they hurt? Have they stayed non-blurry? I know nothing. LOL. I have weirdly dainty, veiny wrists for my size, so any thoughts you would have would be appreciated. And related to number one, also considering a tattoo portrait of her on my upper thigh.

5:07Figured it could be bigger there, but maybe more risky if I don't like it or if I don't think it captures her right. Also, is it silly to get a tattoo that isn't as visible? Also, what is your all's experience, if any, with losing or gaining weight and it affecting your tattoos? And then, lastly, picking a style seems hard. Do I do black and white, watercolor, traditional? Any tips? Elsie Okay, I have so many thoughts on this. I love giving tattoo advice. These are great questions. These are great questions. Yes. Okay. My first piece of advice is that the first tattoo, it is normal. Everyone overthinks their first tattoo, so my advice is probably for the best. Go in there, and for your first tattoo, you get two. You get two tattoos, two different ones in two different locations, and you just rip that bandaid all the way off, and then it it doesn't put so much pressure on. The one, I I don't know. That's my theory. I didn't do that, but I got my first tattoo. I never regretted it, so I'm not the type.

5:18Emma I guess I technically did that. Yeah, because I did my first tattoo was my dog who did not die. He was still very much alive, but I just love him, and his name was Love Love. Yeah, I called him Lovers. He has passed since then, but I got his name written on my wrist, and it says "Love, Love" on each of my wrists, and it's in Elsie's handwriting. And it's black, and it's fairly dainty, but I do think it's thicker and has kind of got fuzzy more than I would like. I got it when I was-I think I was 21 when I got it.

5:24Elsie So tattoos getting blurry is luck of the draw, in my opinion, I have some old tattoos that are still really nice, and I have some old tattoos that look like, and it's just luck of the draw. But you can always get a touch up if you decide to get fine line tattoos. I'm gonna just say it: go to a woman. I like. I just I switched to a woman, and it like the biggest possible difference I've ever seen. Like she gets it, and go to someone who specializes in fine line because there's a very big difference. If you want a small tattoo, you want someone who specializes in fine line. Traditional tattoo people they will always encourage you to make it bigger and more colorful and like add more, and like they just they just don't have the mindset that fine line tattoo people have. If I was starting over right now and getting my first one, I would get all fine line tattoos because they're just so easy, they're so fast, like they can be so pretty.

5:34Emma Yeah, my book tattoos of fine line. Elsie Yeah, my hand tattoos are fine line and oh, and these little ones that I have, but they're just like they're almost painless because they take like 10 minutes. Emma Yeah, that's what I would say too. When she asked, "Did it hurt on your wrist? is I would say yes, but it was very quick because I wasn't getting something elaborate. Yeah, my tattoos that hurt are my more elaborate ones that have color and line work, and just you sit for longer. So I think it does also. I've heard that getting a tattoo more on an area like with your bones, so like your spine, for example, if you get one on your back, hurts more. I don't really know. I haven't really gotten any that are like on my bones. I only have tattoos on my forearms and my wrists. Those are the only places I have.

5:46Elsie I haven't really had that experience. Like I just think that the smaller you go, the faster it's over. Yeah, and that's the main thing. Emma The faster it goes the less pain. Yeah, pretty much. Elsie Because with large tattoos, it can be like three or four hours straight, and it can mentally exhaust you, and like after I got my giant R.L. Stein tattoo, I knew I would never get a big one again because it just isn't worth it to me anymore to go through. It was on two separate days, and it was just like a long sessions. Anyway, okay, so there was a few more questions in here. I think she asked like about styles.

5:56Style is just totally up to you, but I think that choosing one style, if you don't have any yet, you have the privilege of choosing one style that you can be consistent with. In case you do end up getting, you know, five or six or 10 or 20, I think that that's great. Emma I would just look at a lot of people on the internet or friends. If you have a lot of friends who are tattooed, great. But otherwise, just look at people on the internet. Elsie Get on Pinterest and see what you think. Yeah, yeah. And then my last piece of advice is don't overthink how it's going to look in 20 years. The other good thing about fine line tattoos and small tattoos is that you can laser them off really fast, less expensive and less painfully. And I've heard people say that black and white tattoos disappear way faster. That like red ink is the worst, and I have like a ton of red ink on my body. Like red ink kind of never goes away, and black ink is easier. If you've ever watched a video of tattoo removal, it's pretty much like burning you with a torch. It looks like like it looks terrible. So if I ever do get a tattoo removed, like I thought about getting this one because it's like it

6:10could be done better, but I know it would. It's on my finger, by the way, and it's just like badly done. Fingers are kind of tough. Yeah, I let a person who does eyebrows like microblading tattoo me at an event, and that shouldn't have done that. But whatever, it's it's just like a little messy. But I probably won't even do that because I don't want to go through getting burned with a torch. But yeah, I would say if you if there's a part of you that's like I might want to get this removed later, smaller is better for sure.

6:15Black and white is better for sure, but I don't know. I think there's a world where you can just never regret your tattoos and just kind of enjoy them. That's how I view it. And I have tattoos on me that I would not get now. But I don't regret them. Like I think of them as like a scrapbook from a time, you know, memory from a time. They're like a relic, and they don't really come into play. And also, there is really good makeup out there nowadays. Like if you want to cover a tattoo for an event or something, you absolutely can. There's stuff like that available. Actors use it all the time.

6:21Emma Yeah. And as far as like gaining, losing weight, also just general aging and our body changes. I feel like all that stuff is like somewhat minor, so I don't necessarily think you need to think too hard on that. I think you know, accepting your body as you age or at all your different phases in life is kind of something to think about even beyond tattoos. Elsie I've heard a lot of people say that like weight gain and weight loss doesn't really change tattoos that much, and I think it depends on the location.

6:29Emma The one thing I'll say though that I did notice on a few fronts is if you think you're going to get pregnant, or you have plans to have more children, think about the stomach area, in particular the front. So, like if you want something around your belly button or something like that, your body can't. You know, you get stretch marks. That that is pretty normal. Not everybody gets them, but like it's pretty normal to get some. So that is an area that can can stretch more if you're planning to have kids. This question, though, Mary Rachel isn't asking about those areas.

6:36Elsie On your arm, it's probably never going to come into play. Emma Yeah, yeah. Pregnancy is obviously like a pretty big. Like your body does stretch quite a bit more than other times in life. So that okay. One thing I do want to say for someone who's never had tattoos before, though, is, and I don't know this person's personality at all, so just you know. But so tattoo artists are artists, so I do think it's good to find one that you are a fan of their work, if at all possible. Seeing other tattoos that they've done, I think can be very beneficial. In part because you want to feel like you can trust your artist. It's a good thing, you know. It's fine to just, you know, randomly get a tattoo one day.

6:45That's cool. I've done that, but I also think it's nice, especially for your first one, if you feel a certain level of trust with them. Here's another thing I'll say: sometimes tattoo artists, they are humans, like all of us, and they have strong opinions. I've seen this many times before, they can pressure you a lot. They may pressure you. They may not like your idea and basically say something like that to you, or try to change it in some way that you're not so sure about. So, if any of those things happen for you, make sure that you are comfortable saying no and saying exactly what you want, and they will make a template that they will base. It's basically like a temporary tattoo that they will put on your body as a guide. If you don't like the placement, if you're not sure it's exactly what you want, it's okay at that point to say no and have them wipe it off your body.

6:54Elsie True. Emma And either move it, maybe it needs a slightly different placement, or maybe like if you get the portrait of the dog. Elsie They can make it smaller or bigger at that stage. Like I think that is such a good tip that you have to be willing to tell them. Oh, I actually, you know, and and let them wash it off. It's not a big deal, and just be courageous in that moment. Emma Yeah. Elsie Because you might think about it for the rest of your life.

7:07Emma Yes, if you're not happy with it, the template they put on, you need to say so. That's up to you, and that is your chance to do it before they turn the needle on. And you know, worst case, if you're like, I actually am feeling like this is not a fit. I am not loving this, and I'm feeling it's not a fit. They probably already have some kind of cancelation fee that you can pay. Yeah, you can just give them a tip and leave. Give them a tip and leave. Yep. And that is, you're not a rude person. This is a tattoo that's going to be on your body. It is absolutely okay to say, you know, I mean, you're not going to be mean to them, but just to say this isn't the fit. Here's the cancelation fee or a tip, whatever, and just head on out. And you can rethink it. Maybe try someone else. You know, and especially if you get a big one, if you're getting the vibe, you're about to sit there for two or three hours. And if you're like, I just don't want to talk to this person the next two to three hours. They have said a few things that have made me feel a certain way.

7:18It's okay before they start the needle to go ahead and get on out of there for the reason. Elsie I'm telling you guys though. I have like 10 tattoos. Get a woman. Like I'm telling you, it fixes like 90% of these issues. Like I normally would not say that, but like it's just true in this. Emma It's a little sexist. Elsie It fixed it all for me. All right, we have a hot take from Catherine. I have a hot take for you here. My hot take is that I hate gender reveal parties. I truly believe that no one really cares about the gender of the baby except for the parents. While I think personal, more private gender reveals can be really sweet, I specifically think. Gender reveal parties are overkill, and most of the outdoor activities at gender reveal parties are just really cheesy and make me crunch. Okay, so I am curious: is this like a regional? Like, is this a Southern people thing? Never been to a gender reveal? Never, because I never have. I don't even in our group of friends in our culture, yeah, is not a thing. So I am, I'm curious. I know it's, it must be American. I'm guessing it's a Southern people thing, but I don't know. I don't know. I want to hear

7:33that first. Yeah. Okay, but I'm just gonna talk about like gender reveals on posted on social media because I feel like we can have a take about that. Yeah. Um. Yeah. We've never been to a party. I agree that I think it would be overkill to have a party for that, but I do disagree with the part that that other people aren't interested. My husband and I, we love to like predict, and we also like to. Our one of our closest friends just had twins, and we spent like a whole date night predicting the names of the twins, and we got one of them right. It was like I know it. I love that kind of stuff. I think it's very fun to like try to like figure out what someone else. But I don't know. The gender reveal is just kind of like guessing. So I guess you can you can challenge your psychic intuition, but what more do you get out of it, then it's just a guess. Whatever.

7:42Emma Yeah, yeah. I also just think you know. I think the parents care, but I think other people care too. Some more than others. I also think sometimes there can be a lot of feelings around it in a lot of different directions. And so, to me, a gender reveal party sounds like dicey. It sounds like talking about politics at Thanksgiving. I'm like, I don't know, dude. Why are we doing this? I'm not sure about that. I agree. Like, no, thank you. Elsie As an observer, I do personally think they're silly, but I mean, I never, I never had a pregnancy. I guess I never had a chance to do.

7:51Emma I also think they're silly. I've had pregnancy. Elsie So you didn't? Did you do anything with Trey? Emma No. We we told our family. You just found out from the doctor. Yeah, each time I found out on my own too, because I was just at. It happened to be where I was at an appointment. Mostly he came, but for whatever reason, both times it happened where I happened to be alone. So then I just called him right after. Elsie Yeah, she doesn't care.

8:02Emma There was the party. I don't know. Elsie Okay, so my favorite thing. This is my hot take. My favorite thing is watching the faces and trying to find out if someone's disappointed. It's so funny because sometimes people are. Oh yeah. And we have in our family we had this this famous photo of one of our family members who was a child, when they found out that they were having a brother instead of a sister, they were absolutely falling in the picture, and it's it's hilarious. Yeah, I love that, and my I think that one of my kids at least would be that way.

8:10Yeah, I guess I agree with the hot take, but I also I don't know. It just doesn't really apply to me. Emma I've never been invited to one. Elsie Are gender reveal parties real? Who's been invited to one? Is it is it southern urban life? Is it? I don't know. Look who's doing this. Okay, I don't know. All right. Well, we're done with that. Emma Yep. Now it's time for the best segment-a joke or a fact or a meditation with Nova. Elsie Hey, Nova, what do you have for us this week?

8:20Nova Well, today I'm gonna do a fact that that connects to school because everybody writes down on paper, but they don't know the oldest written language, do they? Elsie No, I did not know the oldest written language until you made me look it up for this podcast and it taught me something new so why don't you tell our listeners what is the oldest written language. Nova Sumerian. Elsie Sumerian okay and then after that? Nova And then it's Egyptian and then it's Chinese.

8:32Elsie Love it. Nova And that's actually a very cool thing because I'm from China. Elsie That's true. Nova It's the third oldest language. Elsie Very cool. Nova And so next time you write on the paper, or next time you see a teacher, you could just tell them, "Hey, did you know the oldest language is Sumerian, and then the next is Egyptian. If you wanted to say that, or Chinese. Elsie All right, we'll say goodbye until next week. Nova Bye. Elsie All right, thank you so much for listening. Send us any suggestions or requests you have for fall episodes next week. We'll be back with the autumn bucket list. So we are starting autumn. So excited!