#300: Summer Bucket List

0:00Emma You're listening to the Beautiful Mess podcast, your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Emma Chapman. Elsie And I'm your host, Elsie Larson. Emma And this week we're sharing what's on our summer bucket list, and we are discussing a hot take about shoe-free rules in homes. I wondered when the shoe-free rule was going to come up. Elsie Not the take off your shoes. Debate. Oh boy, this is a sensitive topic. Emma This is when people stop being friends. This is a problem. No, I'm just kidding.

0:11Elsie I love it. I love the topic. Okay, so before we jump in, we wanted to make a note to you that we are going to do summer episodes. Thank you for sending your ideas. Send them, send them to us anytime at podcasts@beautifulmess.com We love to hear them. I'm in charge of making the outlines, and that's pretty much the only place I get ideas from, is your emails. So, thank you for.. and we get like a wide variety. It's really interesting. Thank you to everyone who sends us book recommendations.

0:17Emma You don't know how much money I've spent on thrift books because of you. Never stop, never change. Elsie Yeah, like my whole library, my dining room is almost full, and it's almost all thrift books, so it's a wonderful situation. Emma Yeah, and just so many front.. I'm like, oh yeah, podcast listener told me about this. Elsie And I do notice the people who come in over and over recommending the same book, and that does mean that we'll read it faster. So, good job for you.

0:27Emma It does. Elsie I like the passion. So, anyway, yeah, we just wanted to reassure you, we are doing summer. If we get every single week 10 gold stars for us, if we get most weeks eight gold stars, if we do the best we can, I think that's fine too. We're gonna try, we're gonna try to get every single week, but basically we're just gonna do our best. And when it's september 1, then we'll have the promised every single week again. Do you think that's fair?

0:35Emma Yeah, that's good. That's good. Elsie I'm gonna need a one star review for saying that. I don't know, I'm so scared. Emma Guess what, I'll never read it. Elsie I will. I will. Emma I don't know why you do. One star, because you just tried your best, and it wasn't good enough for me. I don't care. Elsie Okay, we're off on the wrong foot. Okay, let's go, let's get back on track. So every season we do our bucket list for the season. So this is summer. It is almost summer now. My children are getting out of school at the time this episode goes up, they will be out of school a couple days from now. This Friday is their last day of school, which is crazy. So, I like to be prepared, I like to have ideas, and I like to have personal things, I think, too, but I am a summer mom, so I am. My kids are not in camps, they're not in summer school, they are with me the entire summer, and it's like it's special. It's special. I didn't know how special this part of parenthood was going to be. It's not a thing that people prepared me for. The first year my kid got out of kindergarten, and we no longer had daycare, I was just like, what? So, what

0:55do we do? What if.. wait a second to figure it out quick. Yep. Okay, so we're each gonna go back and forth and share five things on our summer bucket list. And by the way, if you've never made a bucket list, all you need is like, rip a little piece of paper out of your journal, write down all the things you want to do, stick it on your fridge, and highlight them as you go throughout the summer, and hopefully it's just a reminder to do more things that you already want to do.

1:00Emma And we have some on our site, just type in bucket list to our search bar, and you'll find some, and there's also much more clearly can be found better, you know, organized over on childhoodmagic.com Elsie Yeah, go there, childhoodmagic.com has really good printables for parents. So that's a good, especially if you have toddlers or like lower elementary school age children. Go to childhoodmagic.com and print out there is just like 100 things you can print.

1:07Emma Speaking of summer and needing things to do with your kids, go to Childhoodmagic.com because there's tons of stuff on there. Elsie You can do Emma's slime Recipe, it'll be magical. Emma Done it with my kids many times. All right, so we're just gonna do five. So I'll say my first one. Okay, so my first one is kind of an ongoing all summer long thing, and I've also started it, but I feel like I haven't talked about another episode, so I'm putting it here, and it is that I am on sabbatical. Okay, what does that mean? Yes. Well, what does that mean? So, a couple episodes ago, our friend Katie Day was a guest on the show, and if you didn't listen to that one, go back and listen to it, because she will change your life in five minutes. That's the premise of the episode, and it's really good. And anyway, after we recorded that, we were sitting around eating lunch, eating the sandwich, if you know, you know, and I was explaining some things going on in my life, and Katie was like, "Why don't you go on sabbatical until Hugo is back in daycare, which will be like July, August, maybe September, we don't know,

1:22something like that. Elsie That's soon. Emma It is soon. It is. It's basically like I have the summer now, because I've already had like a month, one month since I started doing this, and then the summer, so it's like it's like three to four months if you need to know a time. So, anyway, as soon as she said it, something in my brain was like, yes, exactly, that's what I should do, because I was just feeling very burnt out, very blocked creatively, and then work is just weird. Work is in a real transition time, not this podcast. Everything's fine with the podcast, don't worry about that, just other things in my life. So, yeah, so I was like, yes, I'm going to do that, because I might as well. It's so hard to get work done with the little 15 hours a week I have anyway, so I'm going to focus on some what I think of as like sabbatical task, and they're kind of just fun things, but mainly what I'm doing is I'm doing the book The Artist Way, which, if you've never done it, I'm sure you've heard us talk about it. I have like three copies in my home, so it's from Julia Cameron. It's, it's really,

1:36really good. It is kind of spiritual. If that bothers you, just change the language. I promise it's worth it. It's for everyone. It's not just for spiritual people. It's for anyone who is creative, which, by the way, is everyone. So, anyway, I'm doing the Artist's Way, and I feel like that gives me enough time to do the activities and the writing prompts and the morning pages with the time that I have. So, I'm doing that, and from starting that, I got inspired to write a series of short stories, so I'm doing that. That's kind of what I'm writing right now. Don't plan to publish it, I just am writing them. I've also been reading a ton of short story collections, so I'm sure in some upcoming episodes I'll share some of those. So, if you like short stories, get ready, because I have some bangers, and I'm also doing a paint by number, and also just kind of enjoying my time. Like, there was a day I drove to Buffalo, Missouri, which is about 40 minutes away, and I got this pizza that's my childhood pizza.

1:46Elsie I was just thinking of that pizza. Emma Yeah, I think about that pizza all the time, and I never take the time to go there, because our grandma doesn't live there anymore, so there's really no reason to go to Buffalo, but I just went. There's one reason, there's one reason, and I got the pizza, and I also drove to Lewisburg, which is right by it, which is where our mom's from and grew up. Anyway, it was just like my own little no real reason to do this, definitely quote unquote wasting my time, but I just, it meant something to me, and so I'm doing things like that on this, like, sabbatical time, and again, it's really only 15 hours a week. I still take care of my kids, I still do this podcast. I'm not really disappearing. I feel like when you say sabbatical, I'm not doing it properly, but I'm doing it enough for me, and for my life, and for my needs, and for what I can't do, and I'm very happy with that choice, so I'm doing that this whole summer. Hopefully, I'll have the short story collection done by the end of the summer. Again, I'm not planning to publish it. Maybe I'll put it in my

1:59newsletter. I don't really know. I don't have a plan for it. That's sort of part of it for me, is I need to create something that's like just for me and just for the sake of being creative. So I don't really have any plans for it. It's not because I have a hard no on that. I'm just not thinking of that part. It's not important to me. It's just the making right now that's really matters to me. So, anyway. Elsie That's beautiful. It sounds like you're having like a cozy self-care.

2:05Emma I'm already feeling a lot just like happier around my kids, more creative, just more at peace. I think I was starting to feel very like frantic, it was maybe the word I would use, and I don't really have a reason why. I think I was just trying to do so many things in these little pockets of time, and after a certain amount of time of that, like a year of that, I was like, I'm feeling frantic, and I just need a little reset, I need a little reset, and a little rest, and that's what sabbatical is. So that's what I'm doing.

2:11Elsie I think it's very confusing when you put a lot of your identity in your work to then go through a season when your career changes and you're doing a lot of childcare, because childcare, you like, you don't necessarily get the affirmation that you get in career, you know, and you just don't get the same signals that you're doing a different job. Emma I don't think of my kids as my career. Elsie It's a completely different kind of rewards. And anyway, I think what you're feeling is extremely valid and relatable.

2:21Emma So that's my first one. Sabbatical summer. Elsie Nice. Well, I'm excited to hear how it goes. We should do an Artist Way episode. Don't let me forget. Okay, my first goal is to take a family vacation to New England. So, I've been talking about this for a while. I think in August we're gonna go to Block Island, but I kind of just want to like explore Rhode Island. Yeah, I'm just curious to. I've never been, I don't think, to Rhode Island, and the children are really excited to go to an island where you have to take a ferry. They've never had that experience before, so that'll be exciting. Last weekend, our family went to just a little hotel in Arkansas, and we went to the Crystal Bridges Museum and stuff, and it was, it was. Really nice, and the kids like loved it.

2:31So, I realized they're at the perfect age now for more little family adventures, and so I'm excited to do that. Emma I love it. Well, speaking of little family adventures, the next thing on my list is we are going to do a family night in Branson. All right, if you don't know what Branson, Missouri, is. Go ahead and stop right now. Pull over your car, Google it, because it is very charming and very country - that's the word I would use for it. Elsie It has a lot going on. It's 30 minutes from our home.

2:40Emma It's very close. Elsie We've grown up with it has theme parks, it has old people attraction. Emma Has shows has lots of stuff for kids. So we're planning to do like a drive up there after nap, after Hugo's nap, probably wake him up a little early because he's a strong napper, and go to this water park, I want to say it's like called the Grand Canyon Grand, I don't know what it's called, it's a water park, and it has like indoors and outdoor parts. It has a lot of splash pad area, like this tree house area. I think my kids will love that. And then it has attached to it is a hotel that has like kid bunk beds, like a kid fort. It's like a bunk bed that kind of has its own little wall that comes down, and I think Oscar will love that. Hugo might not sleep in the bunk bed, he might. He's still a little bit like pack and play, could be in a bed, still sleeps in his crib, though. So, we'll see. But at any rate, Oscar just loves being in hotels. He's a little kid, so he just thinks that's magical anywhere. So, he will love this. And I just wanted to do something with the kids this summer that's like very special, but it's also like easy on us as parents, because I did just

2:55take them to Disney, and that was great, but that was not easy on me as a parent. That was a lot of work for me, and so I want to kind of do something that's like summer fun family, but not so hard for me and Trey. We'll probably also do a camping night, but that's going to be more in the fall, so it's not on the summer bucket list. Branson, love it. Elsie Branson's fun, Branson's super fun. We usually go in the summer with our, my husband's side of the family. It's all right, it's got its ups and downs. Yeah, man. So my second goal is to work on my summer reading goals. So I have my own summer reading goal. I just want to like get ahead. Last year I did not make my reading goal, and it really bothered me. It was like the first year out of four years in a row that I didn't make it, and I, I know why it was. It was because I was spent so much time writing, but I, I don't know, I just, I really like getting my goal. So, yeah, it's motivating, so I think if I get more ahead in the summer this year, like this is my moment to be in, you know, a lot of audio books, a lot of sitting on the porch, reading things like that, reading at the pool. Yeah, the pool is the best.

3:08Emma Your kids are an age for that. My kids are still in the death zone so no reading at the pool for me. Elsie Yeah, Emma's not reading at the pool at all. My kids are strong swimmers, and it's the greatest. The last couple years is just, it's the greatest. It's such a big moment. So, yeah, and then my children do the summer reading program from the public library, and they absolutely love it. They get cupcakes and stuff, and it's very fun for them, so I'm going to still encourage that. And this year we are doing a hybrid of, so last year we did mostly audio books, so if you didn't know, the children are legally blind and they cannot, they basically can't read paper books without extra tools, so and there as their age gets older the books type just gets smaller and smaller, so it wasn't as much of a problem a few years ago. And then now that we're all on chapter books, it's a very big problem. So they both have their own Kindle this year, so we're trying - we're gonna try a Kindle summer, in addition to the audio books, which are totally fine, and they totally count as reading. We're also gonna try Kindle, because they're just very

3:21excited to each have their own. We did a craft day where we decorated the cases, so that was very cute, and they're just very proud of them. So I need to load them up and get a lot of books on there. Emma You can change the font? I guess I don't really even know. Elsie The font, I have a picture of their ideal font. I'll show you in a minute, but it, it goes very large, so Kindle can do that.Yes, it goes very large. It's very accessible for people with low vision. It's great. And then we have the paper, I think it's called Paper White, so they kind of have like a mat. They're very good in the dark, like they're just, they're not too bright for people reading, in which is when they read, mostly is like in their bed at night. So, yeah, I'm really excited. I will say how it goes at the end of the summer, if the Kindle helps or not, because I would love for them to love more than just audio books, and I want to encourage that, but at the end of the day, they kind of have to pick what they want to read, yeah, like they have to have their own motivation. So, we'll see.

3:34Emma Okay, my next one is I am making just for fun. This kind of goes along with my sabbatical summer that I just told you about. I'm making a digital collage project, so I've kind of already started it, so it's essentially about the monotony and anxiety that I sometimes feel with feeding little kids, because you know, just for any, any moms out there, you'll get it, but it's just, it's a lot of the same things over and over, it's a lot of like planning and buying and making food, and the food doesn't get eaten, and it gets thrown away, and did they eat enough, or you know, am I feeding them the right things, and just a lot that goes into feeding little kids, you know, as your kids grow up, they start to feed themselves, and that's a whole different thing, and I'm not at that level yet. I wanted to make a piece of art, I've had this on my mind for a long time, that's just about the monotony and the anxiety of feeding little kids, and so I'm making this kind of digital collage, I started saving a bunch of packaging from their food, I cleaned it too, and so it's like it's like the box of graham crackers, or they have these little like healthy fig newtons,

3:46they like to eat all the time, we call them breakfast bars, packaging from that, cheese sticks, you know, just packaging from stuff, and I scanned it all, and I scanned it, so that it's very.. the idea to me is like the process of making this piece of art is very tedious, because to me that's like kind of the process of feeding little kids, is it's very tedious, it's not hard, but it's tedious, and it's a lot of the same thing over and over, and so I would take, like for example, a cheese stick packaging, and I scanned it, and then I used the same paper, and I scanned another one next to it, over and over and over, until I filled the entire page. And, of course, what this also did is there's like slight imperfections. You, when you look at it, it does look very grid-like, but it's also like there's one that's like slightly off or slightly curled, or whatever. So, in a way, I feel like the final piece is probably going to look a little bit like digital pop art in a way, and I'm not planning to do anything with it, other than I'm going to display it in my home. I have a spot in my dining room, I want to hang it, but I'm not planning to share it or sell it or anything. It's just

3:57something that means something to me. Yeah, fun working on it, and it's really fun to work on, but, like I said, it is very tedious. Yeah, I don't know, interesting. Just something I had in my mind, and so I'm making it for fun. Elsie Nice. Yeah. No, that's that is very interesting. I'm surprised. I like it. Okay, I am going to take on the task this summer of teaching my kids basic skills, so I saw this printable or something on Pinterest, and it was like how to be a person, and it was like learning to clip your nails, learning to cook like ramen, make sure, like, think just make toast, a load of laundry, yeah, yeah, wash the dishes properly, so that I don't have to do it again immediately. So, yeah, that will be challenging. That'll be challenging, and I will say I have noticed at my kids' ages that I am doing more for them than I should be still, and I think because of like a combination of their vision and just my own bad habits that I didn't habits or habits, yeah, sometimes it's time to change them, sometimes you have to kind of zoom out, and I was like, okay, at this age I remember things I could do, and I want to make sure my kids can do those things

4:10too, so yeah, preparing their own simple meals, and they do some of this stuff, but I am very cautious, I'm very hovering, I'm very.. don't want to go to the emergency room, yeah, yeah, and so I haven't.. there's just a lot of things that I haven't taken on yet, like we haven't transitioned out of kids' knives, and I haven't let them boil water on the stove without me there, and those things are very scary to me, but I'm starting to realize that at some point I do have to teach my kids to do them.

4:15Emma Yeah, there's always like a bit of fear of things like that because they can get hurt, and then also, like, I don't know about you, but, like, I, I think it's hard to watch your kids be frustrated, yeah, like, fail a little bit at something, and get really frustrated with themselves. It's, it's hard to, like, let them do that, let them do that over and over, not in a, like, I want to take it over for them way, necessarily. I think sometimes that instinct I see that in other people, I totally get that. I just, more, I'm like, oh no, I know you're feeling really bad right now, and I don't want you to feel bad about yourself, but also you do have to like learn how to do things for yourself, that's very important, and it is okay to feel bad when we aren't good at something, that's an okay feeling, just so. Bucks, it's like kind of like having to be around for that is not fun, not a fun task.

4:25Elsie Yeah, I think it's like sort of like retraining yourself not to fix every problem for your child, that is like a new thing that I'm working on. Emma Makes sense. My next one is to take a little trip with my husband, so this summer is our anniversary. Her anniversary is in June, and it's our 13th anniversary. Very lucky, but our anniversary is like kind of sandwiched in between our boys' birthdays, and then also Father's Day, and our grandma has a birthday, and Nova has a birthday. It's very busy June, so we probably won't actually take a trip in June.

4:33It'll probably be more like July or August when we do it, and I don't know where we're gonna go. It won't be any crazy big deal. It's not like a Europe thing. I'm kind of thinking I would like to go somewhere that's like chill, and maybe we could do a little bit of hiking. I would think that was really fun, like a small national park type thing. I'm not really sure. We haven't planned it yet, but I really love being outside, so I think that could be something fun. We'll see.

4:38Elsie Nice, that's really sweet. Yeah, we just had our 15th anniversary, isn't that crazy? Emma Yeah, we're getting old in a good way. Elsie Definitely. Okay, so my fourth goal is to establish a proper family movie night, so our kids have finally gotten to the age where we can all watch a movie together that is enjoyable for everyone, and that is new, that's definitely new for their ages now, but we, yeah, the last year we've done like, I think, three or four movie nights, and it was a big success, they really liked it, so yeah, one of my favorite newsletters from Austin Cleon was Family Movie Night List, and it was like five years, and so I saved those to steal all the good ones. He had a good newsletter, he has a great news, yeah, I love his newsletter, but that was the best one ever, because it was like so useful, yeah, and it kind of explained like it's his is on Friday, it's like pizza situation, it's the same every week, and I'm not sure we can do Friday, but I think that was thinking maybe we could do Sunday, I don't know, we're gonna have to work on it, but it will have to be probably the same every week for us to get where we, or we could just do it, you know, like

4:53whatever, a couple times a month, I think, would be also good. Emma Ours is Friday, and if something is going on on Friday, we just move it to Saturday or Sunday. I don't know if that's helpful to you. Elsie No, that's a good idea. Emma So it's like we have a standing thing, but if they went to Grandma's house, or if you know, whatever, there was a kid's party, then we move it to Saturday or Sunday. Elsie I love it. I love making popcorn. We have a candy drawer, so I always have candy, and I like making snacks. Like, I just love the whole thing. And I love movies, and I like seeing.. we don't always watch retro movies from our childhood, but when we do, I love seeing it from the kids' eyes and their perspectives, like they absolutely loved Turner and Hooch with Tom Hanks. Yes, and they were not as impressed by Jurassic Park, and I like could not believe it. Are they scared at all? No, it's a little jumpy, not really. They were scared of the I'm doing that, the hand motion of the spitting one.

5:09Emma I don't know what it's called. Elsie They were scared of that part. Emma Yeah, that's scary part, yeah. Elsie I mean, I think the Tyrannosaurus trucks with the car. Emma Yeah, that has the most tension. And then there's a part where one jumps out of this like electrical box at Laura Duran, that's kind of scary too. Elsie Yeah, there's a lot, yeah, but they, they liked it, but they didn't love it, and so that was interesting to me. Emma Try again when they're in high school because I'm upset ab out this as a mahor Jurassic Park fan.

5:24Elsie Yeah, me too. I was Noah's age when I first watched it, so whatever. Not every experience from your childhood translates to your child's child. I also tried to get her to read the book Hatchet. I loved that book when I was a child. Emma Yeah, I just rebought it recently, because I was like, I want to read Hatchet agian. Declined it, it's kind of a survival. She likes, no, huh, weird. He has other ones that are, maybe I don't know. Okay, anyway.

5:31Elsie Anyway, Family Movie Night. If you have suggestions of our kids are eight and 10, give them to us. I love it. It's honestly like the biggest problem member of our family is Jeremy, for sure, because he has to be a little bit interested in the movie, so that's why we can't just watch like cartoons, and you know. Emma Have you guys already seen Sister Act and Sister Act Two yet? Elsie I have not seen them since childhood. I think that would be a great idea.

5:39Emma It has a lot of singing in it, so they might also like that, because I know they like Dancing Queen. Elsie No, the Mamma Mia's are a big hit in our world. Emma Yeah, as they should be. Elsie Okay, what's your next one? Emma This is my last one. And as I just mentioned, we have a bit of a birthday gauntlet in June. Yes, like everyone's birthday, apparently. Both of my kids, two little Geminis. Anyway, so my goal before that is to clean out the kids' toys and also books before their birthdays, because they both get lots of new toys, stuffies, books, and so I like to kind of clean them out and make you know take the nice stuff to thrifts and just make sure that everything in their rooms is stuff that they still play with and still read and a lot of times Oscar's books will get moved to Hugo's room because he's like transit kind of transitioning out of board books and so a lot of them end up in Hugo's room but a lot of times I take stuff to thrifts whatever I also feel like it keeps the room very manageable for like cleaning it up and cleaning it up with them is because it doesn't have tons and tons and tons of stuff in it. It's like if you're not enjoying

5:57this, we're going to take it to the thrifts. I'm so glad to do that before the birthdays. I like to do it before the birthdays and before Christmas. It's just kind of my own little mental way to like stay on top of it, and it's also little hack because they're about to get a bunch of new stuff, so then they won't notice that I've gotten rid of some of their old stuff, because they're focused on the new things, so there you go. Elsie Love it. Okay, my final one is to first draft a new novel, so I have kind of been starting on two, which is a problem, so I have two going, so I do need to pick, and then I just want to finish a first draft, because everyone's different. So, Emma loves a first draft, like that is like her, that's like her favorite part. Would you say, is that fair to say your favorite part?

6:06Emma Editing's grown on me. Okay, but I like, I like a wander through the forest writing experiment, you're like, I don't know where this is going. I do have outlines, but yeah, yeah, I like a first draft. Elsie I do not really love the first draft as much. I'm kind of dreading it, so I thought it would be a good summer activity, because if I do it very scheduled, then I can give myself the gift when my children are back in school in September of having like being ready to enter an editing phase, which to me is much more the phase that I enjoy. My friend always says shoveling sand, if you heard that one, shoveling sand into a sandbox, so that later on we can make sand castles. I think it's a nice quote, and that is like, I think that's a good way to look at the first draft, like you do have to get the material there at some point. You have to do it, and it's hard for me to read back my first draft, because I like, just don't like, I just don't like reading a bad book. Yeah, yeah, like, you have to admit your own, you have to look at your own flaws, like in the mirror, but it is fun, and I mean it's definitely exciting.

6:19Emma Sometimes I think of it, though, as like a little bit of like I'm just gonna roast myself here, you know? And that makes it a little more fun, like you're like, "Oh, you thought you were so clever with that little metaphor, didn't you? Cut. Elsie Totally, I've never had that happen. Yeah, so yeah, I'm excited for the season, though. I'm excited for summer. I do, it's grown on me to be like one of my favorite parts of the year, and then obviously it comes before fall, which is our favorite, favorite, favorite part of the year. So, oh yeah, to be all down hill from here. It's all good now. Yep. Okay, so let's discuss Heather's hot take, which is shoe-free homes are annoying and unnecessary. I want to wear my cute shoes to your gathering, not my socks.

6:29Emma Okay, so I got to say, I don't know if anyone else is a comedy you like to watch stand-up comedy. I love to watch stand-up comedy. We watch so many of the specials, and I feel like they're doing so many more specials now than they used to, which is so nice, because I just love it. Anyway, the new Pete Holmes special, which I think is called Silly Silly Fun Boy, or it's something like that, has a whole bit, and I think it's in the opener about this exactly, about shoe free homes, and it's very funny, so look that up. I recommend the whole special. I thought it was great. You can just look up this clip if you want. If you're not a real standup watcher, definitely look that up, because I feel like he says a lot of things that I feel, but he says it funny, so that's cute. Anyway, here's what's happening in my world. So, my kids and my husband leave their shoes all over the house, and their socks, and it drives me nuts. And so, recently I got this like shoe rack, coat rack situation, and so now that's like the spot, because it was also kind of a problem, like my older one would take his shoes off, and then the next morning we know

6:41where they were, we have to find them before school, and it's like, Where are your shoes? How many days do I have to start my day with, Where are your shoes, and the infinite search for the shoes, and so it's like, this is the spot we put our shoes there, and even if it's mostly me putting the shoes there, at least now we have a spot that's right by the door. Where the shoes are, so anyway, what happens though, is I've noticed since getting that it's right by our kind of by our front door, it's it's really right by our door where we come in, which is from the garage, but you can see it from the front door. So now I've noticed since having that everyone who comes over, I think they kind of clock it and they start taking off their shoes immediately when they come in my house, and we're actually not a shoe-free house. Like, I actually don't give at all. We have a dog, I don't give a.. if you take your shoes off at my house, but I've just noticed since getting this shoe rack that's really for my kids and my husband, and my shoes are there too. For the record, everyone takes their shoes off when they come into my house. I

6:52have my instinct where I'm like, you don't have to, but I've kind of stopped doing it, where I'm like, you know, what they can do, whatever they want, if they're gonna leave their shoes on, I'm not gonna say anything, so I don't care. So I'm just gonna let people do what they want to do, because a lot of times people are like half taking their shoes off, and I'm like, oh, you don't have to, and I feel like they're like looking at the shoe rack, and they're like, no, it's, you know, like it's this weird moment, so I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna say anything, I'm just gonna let people do whatever they do when they walk in the house, because I don't care.

6:59Elsie That's good. Okay, I have to say a split opinion on this. So, I think I agree. I think it's bad to make people feel uncomfortable. I think that it's okay to let, like, if people come into my house and they ask me, "Do I take my shoes off? I say no, and I let them keep them on, but I do feel like it's like something that maybe you might want to swift for later. I don't know, so I just am not comfortable making every.. actually, I do that with the kids when we have just play date. I have the kids do it, because one time something just terrible happened.

7:06Emma Was it a dog situation? Elsie It was like mud at the playground, and it just got everywhere. It was just everywhere, everywhere, and it was on all their shoes, and there was like five of them. The kids put their shoes in back, and so, anyway, so I, and I know that, like, I have met people who I love very much who are uncomfortable with taking their shoes off and don't want to do it, and I respect that. It's fine, but in my opinion, in my personal opinion, it's just my family. I do want us to all take our shoes off when we come in and put them in a certain place. We have a closet for it. Part of it is the organization of keeping your kids' shoes.

7:15Part of it is our dogs still shoe shoes, so they really need to be in the closet instead of just on the floor, and then another part of it is I think it makes sure carpets and rugs last longer if people don't wear shoes in the house, and that is more of an everyday, like your family, it's not as much like when you have a party, I feel like you can vacuum and swifter after a party and it's fine, but just for everyday life I think that it makes your house a lot cleaner if you don't wear shoes indoors, and just because, like, you look, there are, I mean, you look it up, look it up for yourself if you care, your shoes do get nasty, and they're, and it is tracking germs around your house more than you think.

7:22Emma Yeah, but my sort of thing with it is I'm like, I have a dog, though, and he goes in and out all day long, and like, that's true, he's made if anyone's making our floors disgusting from outdoor germs, it's more than likely him, and it's not his fault, you know, but also it is his fault, technically, but, like, you know, he's not meaning to, I guess, is what I mean. Elsie That's true, we have dogs too, and I'm not saying that they're that people are worse, the dogs are definitely worse. Yeah, Emma I accept the germs to have an indoor dog. I, you know, that's just sort of the trade off, I guess. And so I'm like, well, I've already accepted this. I will say, though, I feel like, so for me, when I go to someone's house, I personally don't care if they want me to take my shoes off or not. I'm like, whatever, either way, I don't care, but if I've come for like a more fancy, like, we will host, we've both have hosted before, like the New Year's Eve party for our friend group, I'm kind of like, leave your shoes on, because it goes with the outfit, and we're telling like a fancy time, but if I've had people over and subject just a few

7:37people, and we're watching a movie, or I don't know, the Super Bowl, or something, and if we're all sitting on the couch under blankets eating snacks, I'm like, you probably want your shoes off, so feel free to do that. So I almost feel like it's good to kind of like give an indication that whatever you'd like to do is cool. Elsie Read the room, yeah, read through. It's fine either way. We're basically both sidesing it too hard, so we should probably call this quits.

7:44Emma I'm on side, leave your shoes on. I just don't care if people take their shoes off, and I can see a world where it matters. Okay, but honestly, if I go to someone's house and they make me take my shoes off, I don't really care. But if I see a dog walking around, I am kind of like, come on. Elsie Well, the worst possible thing that can happen is if you didn't notice that everyone else took their shoes off. This happened to me recently. I didn't notice everyone else took their shoes off. They were all sitting by the door. There was a sign there that said you should do it, and I didn't. And then I was like sitting at the dining room table, and I was like, what do I do.

7:53Emma You just didn't see the sign. Elsie No, I don't know if I was like one of the first people in or what happened, but I did not get the memo, and it was not clear to me. Emma What did you do? Elsie I just hoped that she wouldn't be mad. Emma You just kept them on? Elsie Well, I was already sitting there by the time. Emma I just would have been like, oh, I like to act like a moron. That's always my way to be like my bad, you know. Elsie Whoopsie. Anyway, it is an awkward topic. I love it.

8:11Emma And now it's time for a joke, or a fact, or a meditation with Nova. Elsie Hey, Nova, what do you have for us this week? Nova A joke. Elsie Okay, we're ready. Nova What kind of tree can fit in your hand? Elsie What kind? Nova A palm tree. Elsie Oh, that's a good one. Nova Oh, and happy summer. I'm saying this because my school's getting out this week. Elsie Yes, happy summer. Nova Bye. Elsie Thank you so much for listening. If you have a topic request for a future episode, email us at podcast@abeautifulmess.com We also just love to hear from you, so write us any day, anytime, anywhere. It's our favorite email of the week to receive.