Finding Meaning as a Parent of a Pathological Demand Avoidance Child or Teen | Ep. 173

More from At Peace Parents Podcast

1. 

   S1 · E176 · 18 Aug 2026 · 18 min

   Basic Needs and Pathological Demand Avoidance: Toileting, Sleep, Hygiene, Eating, and Safety | Ep. 176

   When I first started learning about PDA six years ago, so much of what I encountered was focused on behavior. What I was not seeing discussed was something I kept observing in my own family, and have since seen in thousands of families I have worked with: the way cumulative nervous system activation can disable a child or teen from accessing the things they need to stay alive. In this episode, an excerpt from the Understanding PDA Masterclass, I walk through what basic needs struggles actually look like across five domains: toileting, sleep, hygiene, eating, and safety. I share why I…

2. 

   S1 · E175 · 11 Aug 2026 · 23 min

   Throwback: Is Pathological Demand Avoidance the Same as Autism, ADHD, or Anxiety? | Ep. 175

   There is a lot of noise in the PDA space right now, and some of it is making parents doubt themselves and feel more confused rather than less. So I am re-airing this episode from May 2025 because I think it will help you feel more confident in the path you are on. In this episode I share a story from a feeding support group that crystallized for me why PDA is a distinct experience, not one that can be folded into autism, ADHD, or anxiety strategies without losing something critical. I walk through two examples of content I have seen in the PDA space that would have sent me spiraling five…

3. 

   S1 · E174 · 4 Aug 2026 · 18 min

   Why You're Walking On Eggshells: Cumulative Nervous System Activation And Your PDA Child Or Teen | Ep. 174

   Seven years ago I created a huge spreadsheet trying to find the cause of my son's meltdowns. How many hours outside, how many minutes on screens, how many calories eaten, and much much more. But I couldn't find a consistent pattern. Something that triggered him one day might be barely noticed another. The problem was, my logic was wrong. In this episode, an excerpt from our free Understanding PDA Masterclass, I explain why the standard ABC framework of antecedent, behavior, consequence fails for PDA children and introduce the cumulative nervous system activation model: how drops build in the…

4. 

   S1 · E172 · 21 Jul 2026 · 1 hr 23 min

   Shame, Power, and Pathological Demand Avoidance in Children and Teens with Dr. Gillian Boudreau | Ep. 172

   What does shame have to do with PDA? And why do behavioral approaches fail so consistently for this neurotype even when implemented well? I speak with Dr. Gillian Boudreau, a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in autism, ADHD, and anxiety across children, families, and adults, to explore the roles of shame and power in PDA children and teens. Dr. Boudreau draws on her early career supporting high-need autistic students in a school system, her psychodynamic training, and her work with families to explain why these children frustrate adults, why that frustration is data, and what it…

5. 

   S1 · E171 · 14 Jul 2026 · 11 min

   Why Lowering Demands May Not Be Enough For Your PDA Child | Ep. 171

   If you've lowered demands for your PDA child or teen but still aren't seeing much progress, this episode is for you. It explains one of the most common sticking points I hear from families: that due to the name - Pathological Demand Avoidance - parents focused on lowering demands, when what their child needs more is increased autonomy and equality. This episode is an excerpt from my free Understanding PDA Masterclass. In it I walk through the distinction between demands as a surface-level behavior and autonomy and equality as the root-level mechanism. To help make the difference clear, I…

6. 

   S1 · E170 · 7 Jul 2026 · 17 min

   Using the PDA Lens to Change Your Parenting With Pathological Demand Avoidance | Ep. 170

   This episode is an excerpt from a lesson inside the Paradigm Shift Program. I'm sharing it because the PDA lens is the foundation that all other skills in my work rest on, and it is not something most parents are going to hear explained anywhere else. In this lesson I walk through exactly what the PDA lens is, why it has to be learned as a skill rather than just understood intellectually, and how to begin applying it. I also address the most common thought that comes up when I introduce the concept of deliberately signaling equality: am I training my child to be a bad adult? And why the…

7. 

   S1 · E183 · 6 Oct 2026 · 1 hr 3 min

   PDA and School: Patterns, Advocacy, and Accommodations With Dr. Alex Klein | Ep. 183

   It is back to school season here in the US, and for most families raising PDA children and teens, that means navigating one of the most structurally activating environments their child will ever encounter. I am back with Dr. Alex Klein, clinical psychologist, to talk through what we are each seeing this fall and what we have learned over years of working with and being parents of neurodivergent children. In this episode we cover how to understand PDA as it plays out in school, why masking is real and why schools often do not believe parents, how to communicate about a PDA child's needs…

8. 

   S1 · E182 · 29 Sep 2026 · 1 hr 9 min

   To School or Not to School: A Decision Making Framework for Parents of PDA Children and Teens | Ep. 182

   Should my PDA child stay in the public school system, move to a private school, or homeschool? There is no single answer, and this episode is not going to give you one. What it is going to give you is a framework for making the decision that fits your child, your constraints, and this specific season of your family. In this episode I walk through all five characteristics of PDA as they play out in a school or home setting, then move into the three schooling scenarios I see families navigate most: staying in the public school system and advocating for accommodations, finding a private school…

9. 

   S1 · E181 · 22 Sep 2026 · 1 hr 59 min

   Screens Are Not So Scary, Reducing Autonomy Is: Restoring Childhood With Dr. Peter Gray | Ep. 181

   Why are so many children and teens struggling with anxiety, depression, and school refusal right now? And why are so many of them PDA? I have been carrying these questions for years, and Dr. Peter Gray's new book Restoring Childhood gave me a framework I did not have before. Dr. Peter Gray is a research professor of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College, founder of the nonprofit Let Grow, and author of Free to Learn and, just published this month, Restoring Childhood , How to Set Kids Free in the Age of Anxiety. In this episode we talk about what play actually is and why it matters…

10. 

    S1 · E180 · 15 Sep 2026 · 51 min

    Education and PDA at a Sudbury School: A Conversation With Bryer Newlin | Ep. 180

    What if a school had no mandatory classes, no grades, no homework, and no age segregation, and instead gave students a genuine vote in how the school runs? That is the Sudbury Democratic model, and it offers some real benefits for PDA children and teens. In this episode I speak with Bryer Newlin, a youth rights and disability justice advocate, self-identified PDA adult, and staff member at Clearwater School in Seattle. We talk about what it means to experience autonomy as a bodily sense, how equalizing behavior is translated in a school setting rather than punished, why clean up can be a…

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