No is a wall

0:03Speaker 1:Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good morning. This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's tip is that no is a wall. While you can't say yes to everything, don't say no so often that the people in your life start to assume you wouldn't be interested in what they're proposing. You want to make sure there is still a gate for fun and exciting things to come into your life. Today's tip comes from my book, Big Time, A Simple Path to Time Abundance.

0:45Speaker 1:In the book, I note that the world is full of wonderful experiences that you may not be actively looking for. Yes, we are all busy. But when you are open to serendipity, you adopt a yes mindset, and good things often happen. It is wise to be focused on your priorities, but you want to leave some room for the unexpected. One of the best ways to do this is to say yes a little more often to things that sound intriguing and exciting, but are perhaps outside your immediate comfort zone. Now, I know that sounds a little strange on a productivity podcast, Because it is a major tenet of productivity advice that we all need to say no more often. We are all overscheduled. Best to lock down the calendar. But the problem of having a mindset of no is that no is a wall. Sure, a wall keeps out experiences that are unpleasant or unappealing or are just a waste of time.

1:59Speaker 1:But no can also keep out opportunities that could be wonderful. This happens in a couple of ways. First of all, if your default response is no, you will decline the potentially great experiences that come your way. Coffee with a person in your network who seems interesting but you don't know. An off-year reunion at your college. A call with someone who wants to pitch a professional idea. A musical that a friend invites you to but you haven't heard of?

2:31Speaker 1:A roadside attraction that makes you curious but, you know, who knows whether it's worth the detour? These would all be easy invitations to decline. And, you know, there may be good reasons to decline. You do have a limited number of hours in the day. But here's the thing. Something wonderful could come from these experiences. As I share in big time, The before-breakfast podcast that you are listening to here resulted from a vague email I received about elevating and monetizing Best of Both Worlds, whatever that means.

3:06Speaker 1:I said yes to that call, thinking it might be about my other podcast, but seven-plus years later, here we are. I met my husband when a friend texted me years ago, asking if I could meet her at a bar where she was hanging out, which, by the way, was my second stop of the night. That's another yes that changed my life. You don't have to say yes to everything. But if a possibility lights you up or makes you feel curious and you have the time, you could say yes.

3:43Speaker 1:Even more importantly, there's another less visible way that no is a wall. If you become known as someone who says no to everything, you will stop Getting invitations. If you habitually say no to opportunities at work, volunteer requests, social invitations, bids from your kids, and so forth, eventually, people will stop asking. People don't want to bother you with a request if they feel sure you won't be interested. And people want to avoid the rejection of constantly being turned down. So be wary of saying no all the time. Sometimes, Sure.

4:25Speaker 1:But a wall not only excludes bad things, it keeps out good things that don't have an explicit invitation. So leave a door in the wall and leave it a little bit open. Almost all wonderful things in life come from saying yes. In the meantime, this is Laura. Thanks for listening. And here's to making the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach me at laura at lauravandercam.com Before Breakfast is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.