Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson · English · Health
Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist (and his dad) Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable…
In this second episode on self-acceptance, Forrest and Dr. Rick focus on how to accept the parts of ourselves we don’t like. They explain why "just love yourself more" rarely works, walk through a four-step process, and talk about why acceptance gets easier when you can set boundaries with yourself. They also cover accepting the “bad” parts of who we are, how to work with the persona you've built to get through life, and self-authorship: taking a hand in who you're becoming. The Healing Link: In this new six-week live online course course, Rick will teach you how to use concepts from…
Self-acceptance gets recommended constantly, but are we really supposed to accept the parts of ourselves we don't like? Won’t that stop us from changing? Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss what self-acceptance is, what it isn't, and why it’s the starting point for real change. They share the four stages of competence (and why conscious incompetence is where learning stalls), the two escape hatches people take from it, why harsh self-criticism is a form of avoidance, and Rick's three circles model of the act, the scared self, and the being. The Healing Link: In this new six-week live online course…
Shame is one of the hardest emotions to work with, in part because it blocks what we need most when we’re feeling shame: self-compassion. Dr. Chris Germer, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to discuss how we can get around that trap. They talk about where shame comes from, how to recognize it when it’s hiding behind other emotions, and practical tools that help us experience less shame. About our Guest: Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist, lecturer at Harvard Medical School, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program with Dr. Kristin Neff, and…
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the world's most researched, recommended, and criticized form of therapy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen joins Forrest to talk about what CBT is, its history, its strengths and weaknesses, and why it's gotten such a bad rap. They walk through the common criticisms: that it's spreadsheet therapy, that it's a form of self-gaslighting, and that it has an, er, "complex" relationship with insurance companies. They then apply the best of the CBT toolkit to Ellen's areas of expertise: self-criticism, perfectionism, procrastination, and social…
Pain psychologist Dr. Rachel Zoffness joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to explore what pain is, why it can persist long after an injury has healed, and what actually helps. Rachel explains why the brain, rather than the body part that hurts, is what constructs pain, the difference between acute and chronic pain, and the distinction between hurt (what you feel) and harm (what's damaged). They get into the biopsychosocial model, the "pain dial" that stress, sleep, mood, and social connection can turn up or down, the disappointing response rates for most pain treatments, why pain is absolutely not…
Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explain each’s relationship with trauma, and answer common questions along the way. They discuss why old friendships pull you back into old patterns, when appeasement is actually the right call, how to assert your needs when people expect you to concede, and how to figure out what you want after a lifetime of tuning into everyone else. Sign up for Dr. Rick's new Boundaries workshop, and use promo code…
Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. They talk about how Jan hit bottom in the years after Forrest and his sister were born, why the hardest stretch often comes two or more years after birth, the problem with dismissing these experiences as "just motherhood,” and how people can recover. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro & welcome Jan! 2:39: What inspired the book 10:02: Dr. Rick’s perspective 13:30: Depleted Mother Syndrome 18:33: The…
We’ve all been told to “feel our feelings,” but what does that actually mean, and how do you do it? Forrest talks with trauma therapist Simone Saunders about how to go from knowing your patterns to being able to do something about them when things get intense. They discuss what your nervous system does when it decides you're not safe, why the tools you've collected go offline in exactly the moments you need them, and how a sense of agency changes that equation. Simone walks through her three-step process for noticing a sensation, working out what it's asking for, and doing something…
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how to become more resistant to manipulation, discussing terms like gaslighting, DARVO, and love bombing. They talk about why cynicism doesn’t make you immune to manipulation, and how excessive skepticism and trust can go together. They share the “handles” manipulators exploit, break down common forms of reality distortion, emotional manipulation, and situational engineering, and discuss what actually helps. Key Topics: 0:00: What is manipulation? 6:25: Are cynical people less manipulatable? 14:52: How can we become manipulation resistant? 25:51: How manipulation…
Terms like boundaries, gaslighting, triggers, trauma, and attachment are everywhere now. Dr. Rick and Forrest answer a listener question about the consequences - good and bad - of clinical language escaping the therapy room. They then answer three more questions: an introverted listener wonders about the pressure to be social, a couple wants to know how to loosen their strict scorekeeping around household tasks, and a 27-year-old wonders whether becoming a therapist means wasting the degree they already have. Key Topics: 00:00: Introduction 1:24: Question 1: The rise, and problems, of…
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore burnout: what it is, why it’s so common, and what people can do about it. They begin by framing burnout as largely a structural problem that individuals are forced to manage. They unpack the six major drivers of burnout, why some people are especially vulnerable, and how chronic stress affects the mind and body. They then turn to practical ways to recover more effectively, including psychologically detaching from work, finding more effective forms of relaxation, protecting your own self-concept, and reducing underlying vulnerabilities. Finally, they talk about…
We all understand the emotional impact of grief, but its effects on the body are often overlooked. Forrest is joined by clinical psychologist and researcher Dr. Mary-Frances O’Connor to explore the physiology of grief. Dr. O’Connor explains how our brains and bodies organize themselves around the people we love, creating “maps” of their presence and relying on them for physical and emotional regulation. They discuss the health risks associated with bereavement, how to care for the healing body, ambiguous loss, the difference between grief and prolonged grief, and how we can gradually build a…
Some kids learn early on that the way to be loved is to be useful. They take on the emotional or practical care of their parents in a process known as parentification, and today Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the costs of being a “gifted child.” They discuss the “bargain” these kids make: suppressing their authentic self in order to fulfill a role and earn love. Over time, this bargain can harden into a false self that makes it difficult for the person to connect with their true wants and needs. They then walk through four tracks that allow us to reclaim authenticity: becoming visible to…
Most of what people know about Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) comes from movies and short videos, and those media portrayals often have little to do with what DID is actually like. To get the real picture, today Forrest is joined by Dr. Milissa Kaufman and Dr. Lauren Lebois, experts in dissociative disorders and trauma research. Dr. Kaufman had DID herself, went through treatment, and made a full recovery. They explore the spectrum of dissociation, from everyday experiences to clinical presentations like DID, before talking about how DID develops as a childhood adaptation to trauma,…
Dr. Rick and Forrest continue last week’s conversation on avoidance coping, this time focusing on how to move from insight into meaningful action. They explore why self-awareness often isn’t enough to create change, focusing on common impediments like ambivalence, shame, and the difficulty of seeing our patterns in real time. They then unpack the practical science of change: surfacing predictions behind avoidance, testing them through right-sized experiments, and fully internalizing the outcomes. Other topics include scaffolding, state-dependent learning, the HEAL process, and what to do…
We all have patterns we can see clearly…and still can't seem to stop. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how avoidance fuels these patterns, and how we can break the avoidance loop by updating our expectations and predictions about the future. They discuss what avoidance coping is, how the brain works as a prediction machine, why that means insight alone usually isn't enough to break a pattern, and what the current science of exposure and expectancy violation says about how change actually happens. This is the first of two episodes dedicated to this topic, the second will focus on how to brave our…
Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference between being loved and feeling loved, why self-improvement (usually) isn’t the answer, and how giving love leads to getting love. They then walk through five mindsets that help people both get more love and feel more loved. Other topics include the vulnerability paradox, capitalization and the importance of enthusiasm, using the mindsets to evaluate our relationships, polyamory and non-monogamous…
Last week, Dr. Rick and Forrest discussed why healthy conflict is a vital part of strong and intimate relationships. Today, they focus on the how-to of effective repair: what it looks like, why it’s so hard, and how to do it well. Together they walk through four common patterns of conflict, offering guidance on how to interrupt the cycle, turn down the heat, and get back on the same team. They offer tools such as compassionate curiosity, affectionate humor, and taking maximum reasonable responsibility. Finally, they discuss the personal benefits of healthy conflict and repair: when we have a…
Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why conflict is so difficult, the models of conflict we inherit from childhood, healthy repair, what emotional flooding does to the brain and body during a fight, and the research on what actually predicts relationship success. They close with a handful of things that get mistaken for repair but aren't, including submission, thin apologies, and just solving the surface…
Forrest is joined by neurogastroenterologist Dr. Trisha Pasricha for a conversation about the gut-brain connection, including how gut health impacts our mood and mental health. Dr. Pasricha explains how the gut and the brain communicate, how early gut experiences can shape adult anxiety and depression, why GI symptoms are often misunderstood or dismissed, and what the research actually says about probiotics, leaky gut, and detoxification. They also discuss simple, evidence-based ways to improve gut health, dispelling social-media fueled myths along the way. About our guest: Dr. Tricia…
Forrest is joined by author, meditator, and friend Diego Perez, also known as Yung Pueblo, for a conversation about right effort, the balance between pushing through and letting go, and the death of nuance in the age of social media. They start with Diego’s experience on his recent 60-day silent meditation retreat, and what that kind of practice teaches about craving, attachment, and getting unstuck from old roles. Diego frames right effort as the middle path between forcing your life and going with the flow, and that tension leads into a conversation about social media, including the appeal…
Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore how we can reparent ourselves, recover from emotionally immature parenting, and develop greater emotional maturity. They discuss what emotional maturity actually is, the "good enough" parent, the voices we internalize, and how adults can begin to give themselves the internal security and emotional attunement they missed in childhood. Other topics include why feeling misunderstood is so painful, the lifelong dance between connection and autonomy, and the hidden costs of authoritarian parenting. About our guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical…
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become securely attached to ourselves: building an internal foundation that lets us connect with others, regulate our emotions, and explore the world from that secure base. They talk about how this is supposed to develop in childhood, why it doesn't for many people, and what we can actually do about it as adults. Topics include the research on early attachment, why so many of us arrive at adulthood with a strong inner critic and weak inner support, and four practical paths forward: creating a coherent narrative about your past, reparenting yourself,…
If you’ve ever felt paralyzed by the options in your life, you’re not alone. Today, Forrest is joined by best-selling author David Epstein to discuss how constraints can lead to greater creativity, generativity, and, paradoxically, freedom. They trace how intentional constraints have led to some of the most influential contributions to the world, including Mendeleev’s periodic table, Viriginia Woolf’s groundbreaking novels, and Kyrie Irving’s (potential) hall of fame career. Throughout, they focus on how we can go from seeing constraints as an obstacle to appreciating them as an asset, and…
Have you ever had a friend not text you back, and you’re certain that they’re mad at you? This is often a disruption in the process of mentalization: the ability to recognize that our thoughts and feelings might not be facts. Mentalization is a process we can all struggle with, but it’s particularly important for people who have Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). In this episode, Forrest is joined by psychotherapist and author Robert Drozek to discuss mentalization-based treatment (MBT) and the tools that can help us develop more flexibility and curiosity around our assumptions. Bob…
Why does knowing we overthink not help us stop? Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why rumination becomes a self-reinforcing habit, and why insight alone rarely helps. They distinguish between rumination and reflection, and talk about how balancing acceptance and agency can help us go from one to the other. Forrest talks about the relationship between overthinking and feelings of disappointment and failure, and Rick shares practical ways to interrupt the cycle, shift into more concrete forms of problem-solving, and finally stop ruminating. Rick's Rumination Course: If rumination is a persistent…
In this very special episode, Dr. Jacob Ham and associate therapist Elizabeth Ferreira join me to discuss their work as trauma therapists. They talk openly about the messy, unglamorous reality of struggle, mistakes, and repair that characterizes trauma work, its nature as both art and science, how their work has changed over time, and what they’ve learned along the way. Topics include self-disclosure, working with shame and grief, dealing with situations where the client wants an apology, the difference between trauma work and more manualized approaches, therapist training and supervision,…
Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the lessons we can learn from two of Humanistic psychology’s more challenging branches: existential psychology and transpersonal psychology. Existential psychology asks what it means to build a meaningful life in the face of death, while Transpersonal psychology wonders if the individual self is what we should be so focused on. Forrest and Rick focus on the work of Rollo May, Irvin Yalom, Abraham Maslow, and Stanislav Grof, and major themes include freedom, agency, anxiety, the limits of the “self,” and how confronting these can lead to a fuller and more…
Why don’t we choose the things we know are good for us? It’s usually because we’re struggling with self-regulation, one of the most important (and most misunderstood) skills out there. In today’s episode, Forrest talks with Eric Zimmer about what healthy self-regulation actually looks like, the gap between insight and action, how shame can derail us, and why most change comes down to small steps taken consistently. They discuss how to figure out what actually matters to you vs. what you want right now, the tension between acceptance and change, and how to get back on track after a slip…
Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment 4:38: What are we abandoning? 8:30: The self-abandonment loop 21:55: How a…
About Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson
Forrest Hanson is joined by clinical psychologist (and his dad) Dr. Rick Hanson and a world-class group of experts to explore the practical science of lasting well-being. Conversations focus on the key insights from psychology, science, and contemplative practice that you need to build reliable…
Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson is a English health podcast from Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson. Melo plays each episode straight from the publisher's own feed — no ads added, no account needed — and remembers where you stopped, in this browser only.
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