Uncomfortably Numb

0:00[upbeat music] Hi, welcome to Ask A Jew, where a secular sinful Israeli speaks to her wholly religious friend. I'm Yael with Chaya L, the President Trump and King Charles of Judaism. Um- Which one are you? I don't mi- I could be both, if that's okay with you. Oh, fine. That's fine. You can be JD Vance. Yeah. Oh, wow. Or whoever... Who's the JD Vance of Britain? Um, that's a really good question. Like, the prime minister, maybe? Not really, though. It's not the same. The prime minister is like Trump. I- So I don't know... I don't know. I don't know how- But I... You have a... I-... their government.

0:41I barely know how this government works. I know. I do wanna say something, though. And- Wait, before... Can you... Before... I understand you have a podcast and you wanna say things. [laughs] But before, can you say hello to our viewers on YouTube? Wow. Hello to- Wow... our many viewers on YouTube. I, I dressed up for this. It is coming together. Yes. I put on a shirt that my neighbor gave me. [laughs] Wow. Because she didn't want it. Uh- I'm so impressed... yeah, we're on YouTube. It's very exciting. We've, we've moved into 2014. It is exciting. Um, and we are on YouTube. You can find us there at Ask A Jew.

1:15Um, and we also have our previous episode, or I don't know if... when this will come out how previous this will be. [laughs] But we have our episode with Sal, um, Marcogliano of what's going on with shipping, which I think is, like, one of my favorite episodes of all time. It was. It was fun. I really enjoyed it. It was really fun. We learned a lot about shipping and about how ships can draw little, uh, dick pics on their, on their radars. That's what you took out of it? Like- That's all I took out from it... yeah.

1:41Whole hour that we spoke to the most interesting man, that's what you got out of it? Yeah. I- Wow... do you not think that's interesting? You take a, a ship- Wow... that's the size of, like, three football fields, and you manage to d- make a work of art in the water- I-... that you don't find that interesting? I, it is... I, I hadn't thought about it since he said it, but now that you're saying it again, I'm reconsidering. What would, what did you take away from it?

2:05I was just like- Quick, give me one country, give me one country aside from Iran that borders the Strait of Hormuz. Oh, you're so mean. [laughs] Um, the Houthis, Yemen. [laughs] No. [laughs] Okay. I'm like, I, I'm not, I don't think I'm qualified to answer this question. No. But [laughs]... No, isn't it all that... No, it's not, it's not Yemen. It's, um, all the- I know the Omanis have the other side... UAE. Yeah, the UAE and all them, no? I think. No, all those, all those other countries. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, he said something about Somaliland, but it was not a geographically, like, where...

2:41I, it wasn't the Strait of Hormuz, but- No, but they said-... it could be a new place that they- Yeah... do shipping through. Yeah. And, uh, and he also told us that, um, in the movie Titanic, um, there should've been a room, a lifeboat- I know... according to regulations. I know. He was pretty emphatic about that, actually. Yeah. He's very anti-Titanic. Yeah. Um, okay. Well, yeah, listen to that episode and you'll learn a lot. Or watch it- More than-... rather... or watch it, and you'll learn a, or a lot more than what we just shared. Yeah, absolutely. So. More. Don't listen...

3:14If you can mute our part and just listen to Sal, you'll be good. [laughs] Oh, my God. We'll... Sal will be talking about, like, you know, shipping routes and, and mines, and we're like, "Do you get seasick?" [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] So. Um, I wanted to say something about this visit, 'cause the King and Queen of England are here right now in this country. Mm-hmm. King Charles and Queen Camilla. And- Don't say right now. This episode might come out in, like, August. Oh, yeah, whatever. It's- Okay... in April. We're in April. It's April 29th right now. I, I literally told you the one thing not to do on the show- Which is what?...

3:49is not say what day it is. [laughs] That's, like, the only rule I have for this show. Are you kidding? Yeah. I, we've been doing this for four years. I didn't know that was a rule. Yeah. Is it written? I only tell you every time. What? I, I'm a, I'm a Torah observer. If it's not written down- [laughs]... I don't know about the rule. You can say the Hebrew date. [laughs] Oh, thank you- But then-... so much... since he said it's April 29th- Yeah... I will say it's my niece's birthday, because she's a listener and we love her. Oh. Um, but- It's also J- our friend Jay, it's his birthday, and he's a li- Oh, okay...

4:18a listener, too. Oh, there you go. So there you go. Happy birthday. At least two listeners. It's the 12th of Iyar, if you're interested in- Iyar?... Hebrew. Yeah. That's why you were making up words now. Iyar. That's the name of the month. Iyar, like the, like the donkey from Winnie the Pooh? No, Iyar. Alef, yud, yud, reish. [laughs] I- That's the name of the month... I know. I know Iyar... which actually stands for... It's a very h- special month. It stands for, um, Ani Hashem Rofecha, I am God the Healer. Okay.

4:46So everybody should have a healing month, every- anyone who has any medical issues or afflictions, this should be the month that God heals you. Okay. That's what- Well, save it for education. Wow. [laughs] When does Iyar end? How long do I have to heal? You have, like, two and a half weeks, basically. Oh, okay. I'm good. Two weeks, two weeks. I'm good. But, yeah, it's g- I mean, I can s- start a diet now. Yeah. You could. One of my sons, I'm not gonna say which one 'cause they hate when I talk about them, but one of my sons had, um, appendicitis when he was, I think, 10. Mm-hmm.

5:18Um, and it was on the first day of the month of Iyar, and it was very special because he w- was fine. I mean, the, he had surgery and had his appendix removed, but it wasn't dangerous and it didn't explode, and so I always think about that. Did you tell him, "Don't worry about it," 'cause it's the month of Iyar? Of course. Yeah, after I ignored him complaining for two days that his something went wrong. I, I think I remember this story. I told this story. Wasn't there a beach involved? Or was that- No...

5:41another time- That was another-... one of your sons got injured on a beach? Oh, my God. That was another mothering failure, when my son got bit by a, um, a stingray, and I told him he probably stubbed his toe, and then he passed out. So that was another time. This was when I was extremely busy one weekend and my son wasn't feeling well, and I kept telling him he's fine and that he should just lay down. And then when I came home from, like, all my busy schedule of the weekend, I looked at him and I'm like, "Something is wro- are you okay?" And he's like, "No, I'm not okay.

6:11I've been telling you all weekend that I don't feel okay." And then I'm like, "Can you show me where it hurts?" And he pointed directly to the right bottom part of his abdomen. Mm. And I said, "Oh my God, it's his appendix." And I rushed him to the hospital, and it was. But it was the first day of the month of ER, and so it didn't rupture- [laughs]... and he was fine. [laughs] He had a small surgery, and he's fine. I think now that you, you talk about appe- appendixes, or I don't know how you say that, uh, but I think it was one of my first anxieties. I think there was a time- Mm...

6:45like, in, like, fourth grade or something where I was just terrified that that was gonna happen to me because I heard about somebody that it happened to. Yeah. Well, every time your right side hurts, I think about... I mean, I always think about it. Yeah. I'm like, "Is this it?" You know, do you ever get, like, a flash of a pain? Mm-hmm. And I'm always like, "Oh my God, is this it? Am I dying? Like, goodbye, every-" Like, do I say goodbye? Yeah. I call someone. Oh, 100%. Oh. 100%, and then your heart rate goes up, so you're like, "Oh, I'm, now I'm definitely dying." Yes. I know. Yeah.

7:11Um- Oh, and if it happens when I'm driving, forget it. If you ever get- I'm like, "Should I pull over?" Yeah, if you ever get heartburn, you're like, "Oh- Mm... I'm having a heart attack probably." [laughs] "Let me take some Tums against this heart attack." [laughs] We're not hypochondriacs at all. No. We're so even keeled. We should have a doctor- And loving... come on the show, like a real doctor, not like a- That's a good idea... PhD. Like, we had Dr. Drew. We did have Dr. Drew. Is he a medical doctor? Yeah. That was a psychologist. No, he's a medical doctor. Yeah.

7:41Oh, we will have him back. We should have a doctor. I mean, what are we gonna start examining ourself? Like, what? We're gonna ask all our questions? Yeah. It will all be, um, you know, it will just be for us. We won't release it. [laughs] That's a good idea. It'll be private. [laughs] Why don't we just go to an actual doctor? But the problem is with going to the doctor, you and I have discussed this before, when I go to the doctor, my goal is not to heal or learn. My goal is for the doctor to like me. Yeah.

8:05[laughs] So, like, all I'm doing there is trying to impress the doc. Male, female, doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. I just need them to, I just need them to, me to leave the room and them say, "That was the best patient I've seen all day." [laughs] "I really... Too bad she's dying, 'cause I really enjoyed her, and she was so knowledgeable and nice and funny." I, I just hate going to the doctor so much. I can't explain it. It's just not pleasant for me. I don't know.

8:27Oh, it's not pleasant for you? Other, other people love it. [laughs] No, I don't know. What are you... Soon you're gonna tell me you don't like going to the dentist. [laughs] I hate it. No, I just... There's something so vulnerable about sitting in there with like, in your, like, gown, like exposed. I don't know. The whole thing is just not- So-... it's not fun... in, in Israel, which is a first world country, we don't do the thing where you go and, like, undress and wait for the doctor, 'cause... And you have, like, 10 minutes or 20 or however to think about all your terrible diseases. Oh.

8:58You actually go from the waiting room- Right... into the doctor's room, and the doctor's like- Right... "Hello," and then you get undressed. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's different here. Here you have plenty of time to think about all the things that could be wrong. And if you go to Kaiser like I do, they're very- Mm-hmm... helpful, and they have tons of posters all over. Mm-hmm. And you can read about tons of different diseases and- Oh... issues and hormonal issues and all- Oh, great... kinds of things that you're like, "Wait, I think I have, like, 8 out of 10 of these things." Yeah.

9:26So- And it's like West Nile disease, and then it's like- I know. [laughs]... symptoms, tired, agitated, hungry. Right? [laughs] It's all, like, things you have all the time. And then cancer, tired. Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] Tired. Agitated. [laughs] Totally. Oh, have you listened to... Speaking of people who are dying, um, this is unfortunate, have you listened to the or watched the Ben Sasse- Ugh... interview on 60 Minutes? Yeah, he's amazing. It's... Wow. Yeah, he's- If people who don't know who Ben Sasse is, he's a- Yeah... was a senator for Nebraska. Um, and he...

10:02I think he was one of those, like, beloved pe- people that, like, from the left and the right everybody loves him. Yeah. He's a, happens to be a Republican, but he's, like, very moderate. And, um, and then he got a really... He, he was tr- he said he was training for a triathlon, just like me. Oh. And- Great... he got a... He thought he was just having aches and pains, just like me, and, uh, went to the doctor and has a terminal, uh, diagnosis. So he's got- Mm... a, a few months. Um, and he gave this interview, and I tweeted about this.

10:32I'm like, "Ben Sasse is the only person in the world that you can watch him talk about dying for 40 minutes and somehow feel envious of him." Yeah. Well- Because he's just so- He has so much dignity. I really- Lovely... admire him, yeah. And just, like, thoughtful and has such- Mm... a great outlook on life. Also kind of a hottie. No, I mean- Yeah... come on, let's put that on the table. And he was incredible after October 7th. He was then the- I'm sure he was... um, chancellor, I th- well, I forgot what his title was, but, uh, in the Florida at one of the universities. Yeah. And he was incredible. Yeah. Um- But go watch that.

11:06If you want a good, like, cry or a desk- Yeah... uh, go watch 60 Minutes Between him and Rachel, between him and Rachel Goldberg-Polin, who's everywhere also. Oh, yeah. It's a lot of hard things to watch, but Rachel is, I mean, a, a, a character of biblical proportion in my opinion. She's like- Oh, amazing. Amazing... a, a heroine. I know. It's... I keep thinking- I know... about these people like her and, like, um, um, what's his name, Eli, uh, um- Eli Sharabi... Eli Sharabi- Yeah... the hostage. Yeah.

11:36And th- that I can't help but think even people like Ben Sasse or th- or people that we kn- we see on TV, they're people who chose a public life, right? Yeah, yeah. Like, they chose to be politicians or actors or- Right... new commentators, podcasters. Yeah. And the people like, like Rachel Goldberg-Polin and Eli Sharabi and all these other amazing voices that we see coming out of Israel, this was, like, thrust upon them. Yeah. They really are-...

12:03the most regular people- Yeah... and they just rose to the moment, like you said, of, of in biblical proportion. Yeah, I really admire them. And we're, we're lucky to, uh- In, in a less-... to have them... in a less biblical proportion [laughs]- Mm... way. Yes. I just wanna go back, 'cause you, I, you keep interrupting me about this, but- [laughs] I need to get this thought out. My mom says I interrupt you a lot. No, it's okay. I just need to get this thought out, this idea. I was watching Camil- Queen Camilla. Mm-hmm. And she was standing next to Melania. Mm. Not Queen Melania, just Mrs. Trump. [laughs] Okay? And I was thinking, imagine being Camilla. Like, I can relate to her, right? Because she's just, like, a regular looking person, and she's not the greatest beauty, and she's not, you know, sexy in any way.

12:53And you have to, like, stand next to Melania, who no m- regardless of how you feel about her, okay? Mm-hmm. You could hate her. You could think she's an idiot. You could think she's a gold digger. You could think, uh, whatever you want about Melania Trump, but she's beautiful. Like, she is- Yes... a stunning woman. She has a beautiful body. She dresses gorgeous. Like, she is gorgeous. It just... I, I really felt for her. Like, you're the Queen of England, and then you just... You still can't feel good about yourself. Like, that's what being a woman is, and I j- [laughs] I really felt for her.

13:24Like- Do you think she didn't feel good about herself? Maybe she was like... She's like, "I'm the queen," or, you know. I wonder. Well, that's kind of what I'm wondering. Like, do you think... Like, if I was the Queen of England, would I still feel dumpy next to Melania Trump? I mean, could you- Also, is she the Queen of England? Yeah. Is that the terminology for her- Yes, she is. Okay. Well- Okay... okay, someone's probably gonna write to us and be like, "She's not actually the queen," but I, I'm pretty sure she is. It's like- Like when-... when a rabbi's wife is a rebbetzin? No, but yeah, 'cause he, he first...

13:54Okay, he's the king, and I'm pretty sure he bestowed the title of queen on her. Aw, that's so romantic. Yeah. I know everyone hates her 'cause she, like, broke up the marriage, but, um, they seem to really love each other. Like, they have a- You know, I really-... very long love story, like long before Diana... I don't have any mental space for British drama. Like, there's enough I need to think about. Mm. Like, I need to learn about Israeli politics and American politics. You really- I don't know what's going on there...

14:22you think about the stupidest shit in the world, and then- Yeah... this, this is your red line. This is where you say- Do you know how much-... "No more"... 90 Day Fiance knowledge I have in my head? [laughs] I can't replace that with the royal family. [laughs] Oh my God. I, I just- There's so much... I have a hard time with King Charles. I, I don't know. I can't consider him the king. Oh. It's weird. He's very funny, though. I saw, like, his greatest hits, uh, on, on Twitter. Somebody compiled all his, the funniest jokes from his speech. Really? Yeah. It was very, it was very nice. Yeah. I mean, he's fine. He's fine.

14:54Trump's had quite a week. Yeah. Oh, we didn't even discuss that he almost got killed. Yeah. I mean- Wow... it, it's almost like... I don't know what number this is, but- Well, did he almost get killed? I don't know if that's the right way to say it. I think that- I mean, let's put it this way... he was- If you were speaking at an event and somebody came with a manifesto to kill you- [laughs]... but they only made it to the edge of the block. I mean, I would be on every TV show ev- I would n- never stop talking about it. If you think- I would be like, "Like and subscribe to my YouTube channel."

15:24[laughs] If you think I talk about my war in Israel last June a lot- Yeah... you would never hear the end of me discussing- Like, you I could believe that you had staged it. [laughs] Him, I don't think he did. Wow. [laughs] Wow. Wow. Never. I mean, it would be good for the pod, you know? You know why I would never stage it? 'Cause I wanna speak. Like, I l- give me a microphone. Like, I wouldn't- Yeah... wanna be interrupted. Like, that would be- I heard that his, uh, his speech was supposed to be an hour and 20 minutes. Oh my God. It would, probably would've been a banger. Yeah, but that's a long time to sit and listen to anyone. Yeah.

15:56I don't know. You know how many pe- we have at least, at least three guests that were there. Yeah. Previous guests. Probably more than that. And probably more. I know. Yeah. Apparently, there were, like, 2,400 people there, which is- Whoa... I mean, how- 23 not... many were invited? I know. Do you think any other Jewish podcasters were invited? Probably. Wow. Probably. Do you think Dan Schneider went? Do you think Trump would come on? Do you think Trump would come on if we texted him? Uh, I mean, sure. People have his phone number. [laughs] People do have his phone number, yes.

16:25[laughs] We'd be like, "Mr. Trump, can you come on our podcast?" I was gonna say, we can't even get so-and-so on, but I'm not saying who so-and-so is- [laughs]... 'cause, uh, not to embarrass them, and also they will come on eventually, so. Yeah, exactly. I feel like Donald Trump ha- we have more of a chance of getting Donald Trump than we do of some other people. This is true. This is true. He loves this kind of stuff. Yeah. Like, what would we talk to... What would you ask him? I, I would- Um. I'd be nervous. I'd ask him about being, like, having... You know what I'd ask him?

16:53I'd be like, "What's it like to go to Shabbat dinner at your daughter's? Like, do you know all the stuff and the prayers and-" There's zero chance he does that. What do you think he does? The chance that he goes to Ivanka's house for Shabbos, no. Yes. No. You don't think he has dinner with his family every once in a while? No. No. Of course he does. No, he eats at Mar-a-Lago every night. Well, they do Shabbat there too. In, like, a roped-off table. I bet you when, when Jared and Ivanka come to Mar-a-Lago, they have kosher kitchen. I wonder. I'm sure. I wo- yeah, they keep kosher. That's true. Yeah.

17:21They would keep kosher. I would wanna talk to him about, like, his time on The Apprentice. Mm. [laughs] It would be funny to interview him- I wonder that... and not mention the presidency once. [laughs] I know, right? All right? We'll only talk about The Apprentice. Who acts like, on Home Alone, on the, on the school? Yeah. I'd like to talk- Is that him? I, I wanna ask him, "What's Macaulay Culkin like in real life?" [laughs] That's what I would ask. We're not gonna ask him anything about Iran, about immigration. No. No, he doesn't give a damn. What was it like when you had to fire Omarosa? What was that like? Mm.

17:52I wanna go back there. I think that's what the people wanna know, too. Yeah. 'Cause we know how he feels about everything else. He talks about it. Yeah. I wanna know, like, how was it... Like, what made you decide that this one, Melania, your third, this is gonna be it? Like- Mm... how did you know? What was it about her? Yeah. That's what I would talk to him about I, I think he'd come on. [laughs] We can have Gabby email him. Gabby, email info@whitehouse.com. [laughs] Make the title- [laughs]... Podcast Interview With President Trump, and see what happens. Oh, my God. You know what?

18:25One day he is not gonna be the president anymore. Mm-hmm. And it's... And I think he's gonna wanna be on every show always. Maybe, maybe. Loves attention. So we just have to wait. Yeah. We might not even have to wait that long. Once, like, the next election cycle starts and he's, like, a lame duck president, like, what's he gonna do all day? What, what do you mean? What does Obama and Bush do all day? They get paid, like, hundreds of thousands if not millions of dollars to speak. They're not gonna pay Trump that money to come speak. Who? Are you kidding? I don't think they will.

18:52He's the President of the United States. I know, but they... People don't look at him the same way they look at Bush and Obama. Well, b- people that maybe you hang out with don't, but a lot of people do. Yeah, I guess. I mean- I don't know... you know, he's still the president. I can't wait for his library. Mm. I cannot wait. It's gonna be- It'll be cool... such a spectacle. That'll be cool. It's gonna be crazy. Anyway, some- Anyway... frivolous news. I know. We're, like, babbling about nothing, um, in serious n- 'Cause we're avoiding, we're avoiding the antisemitism. I know. Today we have a- So over it, so over it... I know.

19:28Today was a terrible, uh, attack in Golders Green, England, London. Um, some of you may have heard me mention Golders Green on the podcast, 'cause that's where Barak, my husband, is from actually, and his mother and siblings still live there. Um, and actually my mother-in-law was not far from where it happened. She was on the way to the doctor, and she was on the, just on a bus very close by, a few blocks. Um, and two men were stabbed by a terrorist. Mm.

19:55And of course everyone on Twitter and all these A-holes in the government, this, "The violence is never the answer. Oh, we condemn this." Oh, yeah. And e- Sometimes violence is the answer actually, violence against the terrorists. Yeah. I don't know. What, what is gonna happen there? I really, I don't know- It's-... if you have an idea. I don't know. But I'm worried about, you know- It's very, um... I've been thinking about this a lot lately because, [sighs] uh, my shock absorbance for antisemitism have- Mm...

20:26you know, tightened up a little bit, because we just have so much of it. Yeah. Um, you know, the other day in New York- Yeah... something happened- With, uh, yeah... with Hasidic Jews. I mean, every damn day there's- Yeah... you know, there's a, a, a professor at NYU or a guest speaker at NYU that comes and talks about October 7th being, you know, wonderful. And just every damn day. Yeah. So at some point you, uh, you have two options. You either go crazy- Yeah... or you learn to kind of this is a new normal. Kinda like we were talking about the Trump assassinations, right? Like, it somehow- Right...

20:55seems like, oh, this is, like, something that happens all the time. Right. Right. And I think about that a lot of, like, I've wish I... Y- you know, I, m- m- it would... I, I think I would have liked to retain my capacity for shock and horror and disgust- Yeah... and awe instead of reading about these things, feeling that for a, a second, and then moving on to the next thing. Yeah. I feel two things. Mm-hmm. Number one, it makes me, every day when I see the stuff in the, in the news and I hear about it in Jewish news and Jewish media and then I see it on Twitter and...

21:33It makes me realize that so few people care about the Jews. Like, a- Mm-hmm... uh, that's just the way it is. Yeah. The world, the vast majority of the world just doesn't care about Jewish people. Now- Mm-hmm... we have very good friends who are not Jewish. We have very close friends who do care, and I'm not saying nobody cares. But very few people actually care about Jewish lives. Mm. That's number one. Number two, I really feel bad, and I've been saying this and thinking about this a lot, and it's gonna rub people the wrong way, and we... I know because we've had some conversations internally about this.

22:07But I feel really badly for Jews who think that there's something we could be doing differently to change the reality for Jews around the world. Mm-hmm. Whether it... And, and I mean that whether it's how Jews behave in the diaspora or about Israel. And I understand our instinct to say, like, "Oh, my God, what, what's going on here is so embarrassing," or, "This is terrible," or the, you know, the, the terrorist attacks on, uh, from the Jews to the Palestinians in the West Bank or, or the government of Israel.

22:38All of those things are no excuse for how Jews are treated around the world. Zero excuse. Mm-hmm. I, I, I do not care. And the more that a Jew internalizes that if we would just behave better, if we would just fix ourselves, if we would just have a better government in Israel, if we would just, just, just, if, if, if, if, if this, if that, oh, then we'll be okay, I feel so sorry for those people. Because let me tell you something, nothing will make a difference. Nothing.

23:08We could become the most well-behaved, most, uh, uh, ca- caring, whatever, progressive, however you wanna label it, people in the world, and they'll still find ways to hurt us, to, to be violent against us, to blame us for things. And so I'm just... I feel badly for people who live in that world. I do not live in that space. I don't. Yes, there are shitty Jews. There are Jews who do bad things. There are bad people in the Israeli government. There are bad people who commit terrorist attacks. There... A- all these things are true, and yet- Mm... and yet we are regular citizens of the world who don't, w- don't deserve this. We do not deserve this behavior.

23:49And I- Um-... I'm, I'm, I feel bad for the Jews who live with it. I'll, uh, I'll tell you two things. The first is you're right, nobody gives a shit about the Jews, but nobody gives a shit about anyone, and that's not meant to make you feel better. It's actually probably worse, um, when you realize that. It's like kind of being a kid, and when you grow up and you go out in the world and you realize that, like- Nobody cares about you except maybe your parents or your family.

24:14But like- That is true, but I could say one thing that's true, but I think that progressives at least play on TV like they care about- Fair... other people. Fair, yeah. They pretend to care, you know? So, like, but not, they don't even pretend to care about- Yeah... Jews. Yeah. That's all. Yeah, but you're right. But nobody cares about us, um, and that's the world, you know? Yeah. It's not because necessarily they look at Jews like, "Ugh, why would I care about those people?"

24:40Um- Well, mm- No, no, I think, I think they, I think if you're talking about the progressives, it's because they lump us- Right... in with, like, white people and powerful people, whatever, which is just a sign that they're- Yeah... stupid. Right. Um, because, you know, it, it's just ridiculous. But about, um, I, I actually, I, I do agree with you, because I've been in this business, quote unquote, of, you know, talking about Israel and being... I've been in the business of being Israeli for many years.

25:11[laughs] And I, you know, I remember when we had a different government. I remember when we were going through, um- Yeah... the, uh, you know, uh, the disengagement from Gaza. Right. And we thought, I thought it would solve a lot of things internationally. Um, so no, I don't think that will change or make people like us if we have a different government, because the whole hatred of Israel is based on the idea of the state shouldn't exist, and- Right...

25:43the people, you know, shouldn't be fighting for their- Right... their land or their life. That said, there are a lot of things in Israel that are making it very difficult for us to, you know... I, I can see a lot of people who could go either way being persuaded perhaps by negative things that are going i- in Israel, just like people in whatever, France, who don't care about America. If they don't like Trump- Yeah... they'll be like, "Well, that's what I know. I know Trump. It's what I see on the news, and I don't like him, therefore I don't like America." So, you know, we're right, but also if we put ourselves in their shoes, I can see things that would bother them. See, I guess what's different for me, or a- and I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.

26:32I'm sure everyone feels... Not everyone, I shouldn't say that. Everyone. No, but I, I'm sure many people feel this way, but, like, I do not view Israel and Israelis as separate from me, the same way I don't view Americans- Yeah... and America. Like, I am American. Yeah. So whatever happens here is, like, part of me, and I'm part of it. Yes, a good thing. And I, I mean... Right. Exactly. So I don't, I don't, and I feel the same way about Jews around the world, right?

26:56So that includes Israel. And so when something happens there, I don't look at it and judge it and say, like, "Oh," you know. Yeah, I mean, I, I judge the bad behavior, but I don't look at it and say, "You know what? I, I, I've, I'm done with them." Like, that, I, they don't deserve my support. Yeah, but a lot of people here- I-... can afford to be done with us, and that's a sad, that's the saddest thing. No, but not Jews. 'Cause it comes at no cost. But not Jews. But some Jews, but some Jews can. But that's my point. No. If your only Judaism- Yes... is bagel and lox, and you don't wanna, you don't have to go to synagogue, because, you know, every synagogue now is a target. I don't care how progressive you, I don't care how many pride flags you have on your synagogue- Yeah, exactly...

27:32you're still a target. If all your Judaism is cultural, you can very much be in any space you want as a Jew, because as long as you renounce all the other Jews. And that's what really fucks with my head, excuse my language, because it's hard to make the case for people who wanna have this, like, veneer of cultural Judaism, that they need to kinda open their eyes to what's going on to, with other Jews. 'Cause they don't care. There, there is n- I'm gonna say a very bold statement- [laughs]... and I'm gonna stand by it, okay? As opposed to everything you've said up until now. [laughs] Like that you don't like going to the doctor.

28:14There is not a Jew on the planet- Mm-hmm... who's truly a Jew, okay, who is not grappling with this, okay? I don't believe that they can live as a Jew and not care- Mm... and not this and disassociate from it. And every single Jew, I don't care what your politics are, I don't care what you say, how you label yourself, what pronouns or flags or whatever you have in your bio, even more of those Jews are struggling right now. Every single Jew has to engage with the fact that Israel and the Jewish people are intertwined. That's just a reality. You cannot separate, and they can't separate themselves from it. And you know how I know?

28:56Because all they do is fight so hard against it, and they make proclamations, and they go to marches. Mm-hmm. That tells me- But that's their struggle... yeah, but that's what I'm telling you. Their struggle is disassociation. But that's what I'm telling you, that they are living in it. They are marinating in it. It is killing their souls. It i- it is eating them up inside. That's what I'm telling you. Hannah Einbinder lays in bed at night. She can't breathe, because she knows that her and Israel are intertwined forever, and she, doesn't matter how far she runs, doesn't matter how many times she gets up on a stage and screams, "Free Palestine," doesn't matter how far she thinks she's gonna go, a Jew is a Jew, and Israel is part of that story.

29:32But, but- And that, that's it... but she's not thinking about her soul and how it's intertwined. I can't believe you have me talking about souls now. I c- uh, she's not thinking about, like, how it's intertwined with her identity. She's thinking, "How do I get this mark off of me?" No, I know. It doesn't matter. I'm say- that, I agree, but just think about what that does to your life. That it consumes you That's kind of fun f- I actually like that thought What I'm saying...

29:56that's fun for me to think about Yes, this is what I'm telling you, that the, the more anti-Israel a Jew is, the more anti-Zionist a Jew is, the more Israel plays a part in their life, much larger than you can even imagine. It's a huge part of their identity. We live rent-free in your head. Exactly. We're literally occupying- That's what I'm saying... we are settlers in your head. That's what I'm saying. So I'm telling you that I don't believe there's a Jew, unless you're, like, literally a, a brain-dead weirdo Jew who somehow grew up in a place that no one ever heard of, and I don't know, you're, like...

30:29I can't imagine even what that's... I, I, I'm trying to imagine- Don't say a place, 'cause then we'll get- I know... an email from a listener who's there. Yeah. No, I, I can't even imagine the scenario that I'm thinking about. But any- Timbuktu... Jew who is grappling with this right now is gr- is dealing with this exa- what I'm talking about. And the more left and more progressive you are, the harder it is to deal with. That's all I'm saying. Hmm. So, so I... That's why you're not running away from it.

30:51You could scream and yell and cry and, and wear clothes and I don't care what. You could post every day on Instagram anti-Israel. That means that it's killing you inside, and it's eating at you, and that's what you're marinating in. That fills my heart with joy. I'm so happy I could do that for you today. That's, that's real- that's beautiful. You see? [laughs] Um, you know who's discovering that right now- Ew... on his flesh? Uh, comic Dave Smith. Exactly. Did you see that? Look at Dave Smith. It's, it, it's beautiful. Look at this. It's, it's Hashem.

31:20Exactly. What is this, AR now? He just got it. It's Hashem's AR gift for us. That's right. That comic Dave Smith, one of the notorious... Uh, self-hating Jew is such a overused thing, but the guy's a fucking idiot. Like, excuse me. Yeah, he is. You know, and he's like, he really wears- What an idiot... his Jew card proudly. Is he a Jew? And hangs... I don't know. Y- you know those Jews who are like- Vaguely Jewish? I have to be careful about this, because- I know. It's, it's... Whatever, go on. [laughs] He identifies as Jewish? That's what I wanna know. He's, I, I think he's got, like...

31:51And I, I don't know his full story, but there are a lot of people who, they're like, "I'm Jewish, but the way that..." What's her name is Native American? Elizabeth Warren. [laughs] Yeah. Like, they have a Jew in the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and if you do have a Jew in the thing, i, in the background- You're in... of your family tree, that's fine. If, if you're interest- I don't care if you're 1/18 Jewish. Yeah. But, like, if you're interested in it, if you wanna, like, explore- Right... what that means. But if your only, uh, connection to your identity is being able to go out and tell people, "Well, you know, I can say this because I'm a, I have a Black friend," right? Yeah. Like, that's what it sounds like. That's it. Right.

32:29So, but now he's getting dragged by, like, groiper right-wing Twitter- Hmm... for being a Jew. Uh, and it's, it's again, it, it, it- That's what I'm saying... fills my, my heart with joy. You can't, you can't run away from this. You cannot run away from being a Jew. I cannot run away from the fact that I am 4'11", no matter what I do. Hmm. I could stand on a stool. I could stand on a stair. Everyone knows I'm, I'm short. I can never hide. Even if I go on stilts, uh, you, it makes it even more apparent that I'm short, right? 'Cause now I'm- But imagine you had to spend-... hobbling...

33:01your whole life- Fighting against short people... telling people that you're not short. [laughs] I know. That's what I'm trying to say. So it would not be- And I would be like, "I have a short grandmother, so I know what you're talking about," and then I'll bash short people. No, but this is what I'm trying to say. Imagine, you, it, it, it would consume you, and it eats you up, and that becomes your whole identity. That's what I think about these left-wing Jews who make their whole identity about hating Israel. You're just...

33:24You know, it's like the opposite of love is, is, uh, not hate, it's apathy, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, when someone really... The worst thing is when a guy ignores you, you know? Yeah. Like, you'd rather them hate you, 'cause then you- Yeah... there's a chance that they'll become, they'll love you. Yeah. But if they really don't care about you and they never look at you, that's the worst. Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying, fellow Jews. If you really hate Israel, you shouldn't hate them. You should just- Yeah... ignore them. Just ignore us. It should be irrelevant.

33:48Like, you're gonna- Yeah, you're so obsessed... Hannah Eibinder, it's a very fine line between her hatred of Israel. In a second, she's gonna turn it, and then she's gonna love Israel. Yeah. That's all. No, it's, it's- It's very simple... it, like, you're right, because think of all the causes she could take on. Yeah. Ukraine, BLM. Really, world... Yeah. Homelessness. Exactly. AIDS. Is AIDS still a thing? I don't know. Climate change. [laughs] AIDS. She ha- could- What are we, in 1992? I don't know. Yeah. She gotta be thinking of things celebrities like to- Yes... you know- Live Aid... raise money for. Yeah, yeah.

34:20Um, she could pick all those things, but instead she chose us. Yeah, exactly. And I feel privileged. And I'm touched. I'm touched. I agree. I agree. We should send thank you cards to all the anti-Zionist Jews now. Thank you so much for caring. No. No. Yeah. Because- I'm gonna tell you something. You know why they care? I'm gonna say something- Hmm... very Jewish. I'm gonna make you very uncomfortable. Oi, oi. Okay. You know why they care? 'Cause we believe that at Mount Sinai, which in a few weeks we're gonna be celebrating the holloway, holiday of Shavuot, and this is a holiday- Never heard of it...

34:51I know not to say the date, okay? But in three weeks from today, so whatever- [laughs] Just say the Jewish date. [laughs]... the, on the sixth day of Sivan, which is in about three weeks, we are going- Oh, I have something that day. No, you don't. I have a doctor's appointment. You know what? The sixth of AR. Heretic. Sivan. [laughs] 'Cause now I'm gonna say what I'm gonna say, and you're gonna be like, "Out." Okay. On that day, when the Jews gathered around Mount Sinai, it says that every single soul was there.

35:16All the Jewish souls were at Mount Sinai, each one of us. Even if we weren't alive at the time, but our soul was. And so that soul, uh, yes, souls. Yes, Yael, deal with it. Soul. [laughs] Okay? It was at Mount Sinai, and it never goes away. It can't forget. That memory is embedded in us. It is a core memory that we have, that even though we were not... I can't, like, explain it to you. I can't show you what it, it looks like, but our souls remember it. And you know, I used to laugh at it and be like, "Oh, that's silly, whatever, superstitious."

35:48But now all these trauma therapists and every ther- every healing person is saying that it's all in our DNA, and it's all made, you know, in us. Generational trauma from Mount Sinai. And, and, uh, generational trauma. Exactly. So if you could have generational trauma, you could also have generational good things. Okay. And we were all there at Mount Sinai, and it's something we carry with us, and that's why no Jew could ever get too far away. Can I ask you a Talmudic question?

36:13I mean, I- Do you wanna get your dad on the line for this one? Yeah. [laughs] Can I phone a friend? Yeah. Yeah. [laughs] What? Where was Mandy Patinkin- [laughs]... at Mount Sinai? Mandy Patinkin is the... L- I now thank him. He love... He's gonna love it- Did he wake up late that day? [laughs] His hatred of Israel and the Jews, I mean, look at him, perfect example. [smacks lips] He's obsessed with it, but he- [laughs]... 'cause he loves it inside. [laughs] So deep. You know what you sound like? [laughs] You sound like a s- like a stalker- [laughs]... of a celebrity who's like- He really love me...

36:50you know, like you're trying to kill Jodie Foster or something. No, it's like- And you're like, "She, but she loves me, and I know she loves me." [laughs] It's like, no, Jodie Foster's not a good exam- It's like Brad Pitt. Like, I know Brad Pitt- No, isn't, d- didn't, didn't somebody- No... try to do, do something to press Jodie Foster? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But, like, I know- Yeah... that if Brad Pitt knew me, it would, things would be different. Yeah. My life would be different. Mm. You know what I mean? It would be- I think so. I think so.

37:13You, you could be one of his kids. [laughs] I feel like he would love Israel. No, he's too dumb. No, he would. I think he would. I would convert him. No, I think he would like whatever- He's not dumb... his agent and manager tells him to like. No, he's not du- You think he's dumb? Yes. No, he's not. He's brilliant and handsome. Okay, he can't be. He can't be both. And a philanthropist. [laughs] And a philanthropist. [laughs] Yes. D- but does he have a Jewish soul? He's... I, I believe so. I'm just, just still searching for it. Okay. He can convert. I mean, he'd be fine. Yeah. I, you know.

37:52He's, he's- Give him the fast, the fast track to conversion. He's very handsome. He's pretty old now. I really- No? Still, he looks really good. I mean, I, you know, I can't complain about liking old men, but he might be a little too old. No, no. He's fine for me. Anyway, so yes, so sorry about all my ranting today, but I have a lot of feelings about him. Well, no, I like, I like the way... I like... N- now every time I see one of those people, I will be, like, you know, "It's so nice that you're thinking about me." Yeah. What's that, um, what's that line from Mad Men where, um, y- somebody confronts Don Draper? Also, he, he's a man that I would, I would convert. Yeah. Um, Jon Hamm. Yeah. Um, somebody c- uh, confronts, uh, Don Draper, and he goes off about him and, like, how terrible he is and what he's doing, blah, blah, blah. And Don Draper looks at him, and he's like, "I don't think about you at all." Oh.

38:47It's like the sickest burn- Yeah... in TV. Ugh, I know. Yeah. That's the worst feeling. My father always said- So what does that say about you when you think about Mandy Patinkin so much? [laughs] I know. Now I'm not thinking about him anymore. I forgot about him. I c- I don't- Right... even remember his name. I think the last- I-... episode was Sal. We didn't talk about him once. I know. You bring him up. My- Everyone says, "Oh, Chaya, you're the one who brings him up now." Chaya, we had a journalist here from Somaliland. [laughs] From Somaliland, okay? A country in the Horn of Africa, and you literally asked him, "Do you know who Mandy Patinkin is?" [laughs] And he's like, "I'd like to talk about the geopolitics of the Red Sea." [laughs] And you're like, "Wait a minute.

39:28Have you ever seen The Princess Bride?" Wait. Did we try to have Mandy Patinkin on the podcast? I think so. No. I think we did. Yeah, after we get Trump. Um, after we get... Maybe on the same episode we could do, like- Oh. Oh, yes... both together. Yeah. Yeah. He hates Trump, so it would be funny. I, yeah, if I had to choose between the two of them, I'm, I'm definitely going with Trump. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Yeah, yeah. Mandy Patinkin for president? No, no, no, I, I, I just remem- Yeah, yeah, I just remembered. Yes. [laughs] I, I forgot- [laughs] I forgot who he was...

39:58forgot for a second who he was. [laughs] You really forgot who he was. I forgot. [laughs] You thought he was Wesley. Yeah. [laughs] True love. We just watched that movie on- As you wish... Passover. Oh, my God, it's such a good movie. It's such a great movie. Really. It really does hold up. Although there are s- terrible anti-Semites in that movie, 'cause not just him but that other, the one who says, "Inconceivable." I forgot his name. Um- Oh, Sean Wallace or Wallace Shawn- He's horrible...

40:21or whatever that. He's horrible. They're all awful. He's horrible. But wasn't André the Giant, was he Jewish? I think so. Was he? I w- that might be an urban legend, but I'll take it. I would like to believe he was Jewish. Yeah. I always... It's funny. There's, you know, in the Torah, there's giants in the beginning- Mm-hmm... of the Torah in, in the Torah Yeah, and they're, like, 5'9"... of the Old Testament. Yeah. [laughs] They were... No, they were extremely tall. Mm-hmm. And they hung onto the, the ark during the flood. Mm-hmm. They, like, it says in the s- in the [laughs] Midrash.

40:49This isn't in the Torah, but in the commentaries it says that they hung on to the f- the ark on the outside of it during the flood, and that's how they survived. Anyway, I h- One of them was O- His name was Og, Og, Malcham- Bashan. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. He was like a, he was supposed to be a, a giant. Is that where the word ogre comes from, you think? Oh, I wonder. I don't know. Hmm. Okay. But I always picture André the Giant. That's what I- Yeah... that's what I look at. And then Og, and then Og said to Moses, "Anybody want a peanut?" [laughs] No? [laughs] What?

41:20[laughs] That's a line from the movie. [laughs] I know. You claim to be a Princess Bride fan. No, I... [laughs] Um, do you wanna hear something cool? And this is what's cool about Israel, and I don't care if you're religious or not. Yeah. But my sister runs in this place in Israel n- n- near Jerusalem. Mm-hmm. Like, she'll go there for, to run, and it's literally where David and Goliath took place. Yeah, that's awesome. I love that. Yeah. It's... There's so many crazy things like that in Israel. I know.

41:46Like, there's a mountain, I don't know if I spoke about this before, but there's, um, a mountain called Megiddo, Megiddo Mountain. Mm-hmm, yeah. Um, and, um, it's, s- And Megiddo in He- uh, [tsks] mountain in Hebrew is hal, and they said that there's a big battle that will take place there one day- Mm-hmm... at the end of times. Mm-hmm. And that's where... That's Armageddon, 'cause- Right... Hal Megiddo is, like, turned into Armageddon. Mm-hmm, right. And you're like, "Whoa, this is, like, where the world was written." No, it's true. Yeah. It's really cool.

42:21The funny thing is about Jerusalem and, and the surrounding areas in Israel is, like, in the Torah, sometimes it sounds like these areas are massive. Mm-hmm. Like, they stood between two mountains, so I picture- Yeah... like Himalayas, right? Yeah. But then you're driving down the street in Jerusalem, and you're like, "Oh, that's one mountain, and the other mountain is- Yeah... across the street." And you're like, "Oh, this is... They were between these two mountains?" Like, it's really fucking small. E- everything was smaller back then. Yeah. Everyone was smaller. Everyone was your height.

42:47I wonder, 'cause sometimes when you travel and you go to, like, the olden day- like the old, like in England or even in Italy- Mm-hmm... like, the doorways are m- are, like, perfect for me. Like, I could fit perfectly. [laughs] But, like, if you're a 6' tall person, I don't know how you fit in the doors. I mean, they were very- I don't know... short, I think. But then- Um-... tall people, too. Wait, I was saying something about my sister, and then I wanted to talk, 'cause I have a correction from a few episodes ago- Oh, yeah, go ahead... 'cause my mom yelled at me.

43:14Um, I mentioned that my mom was doing a study about, uh, parent-children relationships- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah... with kids and, with, with, uh, kids and parents both in Israel and in Germany. Not, not when a kid is in Israel and a parent is in Germany. Right. Like different couples. Right, right. Um, and they determined that the most intimate mode of communication were f- was phone calls, and my mom was like, "You didn't mention the most important part of the study- Oh...

43:39that it is even more intimate than face-to-face meetings." Wow. And I was like- Why?... great, I should correct that. Because she said when you meet face to face, and this is, like, a real psychological study, so I don't know how they proved it, but, you know- Yeah... they're, like, social scientists. Um, when you meet face to face, there's always, like, a distraction or there's other people or you're doing something else- Right... you're eating, you're this, you're that.

44:00When, when you have a phone call, it's, like, usually- Yeah, you're... Okay... it's kind of like listening to a podcast. It's a very intimate- Right... form of communication. Like, there are very few people I like to talk on the phone to. Right, right. I'm not... Are you a big phone person? I don't- S- s- like, some people, like family. Yeah. B- some, some people in my family. Um, and, like, my best friend in Israel s- from third grade, the other day I was walking. It was raining, and I took an umbrella, and I walked, and I walked all the way up to the Upper West Side and back.

44:32Probably took me, like, an hour, and I was with her on the phone the whole time. Wow. Yeah. And it wasn't even, like- Right... you know, um- Today I talked to a friend for a long time. L- I, I have a friend who lives here, and she was just traveling with her sister, and she was away for Passover. And so, like, I hadn't seen her, and we ended up talking for, like, over an hour. Um, and I'm not... Like, usually I would not talk to her on the phone for that long, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I mean, I could talk forever- No, if my phone rings, it, it makes me nervous. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

44:57But I, I mean, there are a couple people who I talk to on the phone. Most people not. Mm. And I just... I don't know. Like, I could also be distracted on the phone. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. I try not to, but- But I get distracted- I, I find-... in person, too. Right. I find about, the thing about phone, I'm... Like, if I have a few minutes to call someone, I'm only gonna call someone who I can easily hang up on. Like, if I can't say- [laughs] Oh, that's a good point. You know what I mean? Like, if I- Oh, right, right.

45:25Yeah, let me t- uh, I'll call you later. I'll call you later. Bye. If I can't say- Yeah... "I have to go. I'll call you later" and hang up, then I can't call. Yeah. Like, then it's an appointment. Then I need, like- Yes... an appointment or a meeting. I can't, like- That's a good point. I know that sounds horrible, and I kn- I could hear lots of people listening to this right now who are screaming at their phones listening to me and saying, "You never answer. You never call, blah, blah." And it's true. I'm not a phone person, sorry.

45:48You wanna talk to me, come over. Like, m- just I, I'd rather talk in person. That's my, uh- That's, that's a commitment. You are inviting people to your home now? Like, then, how do you know they're gonna leave? Actually, I ha- we had a friend/listener who came last Friday night for Shabbat. Mm-hmm. And then just yesterday, I got a text from someone who told me that she, her sister... The whole long story. I'm not gonna say how she's connected, but also a listener fan who wanted to know if she could come to Shabbat dinner. Mm.

46:17And they, like, reached out through friends and whatever, and I don't mind if you wanna come for Shabbat and you're normal. Yeah. Don't come if you're not normal. If you're normal- I mean, half the people at your Shabbat dinner aren't normal, though. No, but I... They're my not normal people. I don't mind. No, you're not normal. But, but yeah, I don't... I'm happy if you wanna come. If you're in town, if you're visiting, just reach out anytime. The best w- the best way to create intimacy with somebody on an intellectual level- Yeah... not, like, naked, is w- a walk and talk. Mm. Like, go for a walk- Yeah... together and talk. I love doing that. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. Mm-hmm. That is nice. Um, yeah, phone calls could do it, too. You can get a lot- Yeah...

46:59you can learn a lot about a person over the phone. Yeah. Um, I mean, if you're really interested in someone, you can learn a lot through text, too. I mean, it's just a matter of how much interest you have in a person, I think. And if I leave you a voice note, just know that I feel comfortable with you. Yeah. Because voice notes are annoying to the person getting them. Yeah. So if I leave you one, that means I think that you're not gonna be annoyed with me, because- Right... you like me.

47:24I- But my sister and I are, and my niece, too, we call them... We record each other podcasts, we call them. Yeah. So we'll record each other long, like, updates about our lives. Right. I actually have changed a lot about voice notes. I used to hate them with a passion. Mm. And I have to say, I've grown to really appreciate the voice note, and I, I'll tell you why. Because sometimes I need to say something that I can't type out. Yeah. But I also don't- Like what I sent you yesterday about that bitch. I don't remember. Sorry. Oh, yeah, yeah.

47:51I sent you something snarky about somebody. Right, right. And it wouldn't, it wouldn't have been as funny- It doesn't translate... in a text. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's just... Uh, or, like, I wanna tell a story that has some nuance, but, like, I don't wanna make a phone call. So a voice note is nice. And also, when I leave someone a voice note, I don't expect them to listen to it right now. Like, I don't... You don't need to stop what you're doing and listen. It's like, when you have a chance, listen to this voice note, you know? Yeah. Also- It's kind of respectful... unless you are driving- Yeah...

48:15do not leave me a voice note that could be a text. Don't be like, "Okay, so I'll be there at 6:30." Like, why would you do that to me? Why would I have to stop what I'm doing and listen- Right... to your voice right now- That, that is annoying... when I could just look at my phone? Right. But do you f- you FaceTime a lot, right? I don't. I don't like to FaceTime. Oh. Um, I FaceTime my family. Mm-hmm. I have a few friends who will FaceTime me without warning, which I think is incredibly rude and hostile. Um- Yeah... and one of them, I even told her, "I don't wanna FaceTime you. I'm gonna put my phone in my pocket."

48:49[laughs] Because I'm either walking somewhere, so it's not comfortable, or I'm at home, in which case I wanna be doing something while I'm talking to you. Right. Right. I wanna be doing the dishes. Oh, yeah. I wanna be, you know, playing with my phone. And your angle- I wanna be tidying up... the angle is not great. Like- Yeah... if you wanna put your phone down, and then it's, like, looking at your chin, it's not my favorite angle. You know what FaceTime is great for? Pets. If there's a- Oh, God...

49:11two pets in two separate households with two separate owners and you want the pets to see each other. That's ridiculous. That's... It's good. I- It's great... what I... Okay, this is what I wanna say. I have a question, and I want... I would love to hear audience feedback on this. Okay. So if you c- if you have an opinion, please send us a message, either in the comments or- Mm-hmm... send us an email. Wait, let's tell people. Let's do a little what- Oh... what they call housekeeping before and tell people where they can find us. Oh, my God. Fine. But this, it's not that interesting of a question, but yeah, go for it.

49:37[laughs] Well, too bad. Um, so askajew.substack.com. Please just join Substack. Stop being an antisemite, okay? It, you, it doesn't cost you money. You're not gonna get emails. You're not gonna whatever. Well, you will get emails, but they're good emails. But from us, not from other people. Right. And we don't send a lot of emails. That's true. Um, you can chat there. You can comment. There's a lovely chat, um, and- Mm-hmm... just connect with us, and the more Substack followers we have, the more Jewish joy there is in the world or something like that. Mm-hmm.

50:05Uh, we're also on YouTube now, as we said, so hi if you're watching this on YouTube. Um, it is Ask a Jew on YouTube. Like, subscribe, all that stuff. Uh, we're on Instagram, but we're not really doing a lot on Instagram. But you can go there, too, I guess. Ask a Jew Pod. And then the easiest way to get in touch with us is, uh, askajewpod@gmail.com. You can answer Chaya La's question, which will be... Oh, but... Well, I'll also plug one other thing. Like, you could also follow us on our personal stuff, like Yael's, um, Twitter- Oh, yeah... which is great, and my... I, I don't really tweet that much, but on Instagram.

50:39I like to post on Instagram, so go follow me. What's your Instagram? It's chayalew, one word. Just- Uh-... chayalew, one word. Yeah. And if you wanna follow me on X, @yaelbt. Uh- Yeah... you're pretty much gonna get there what you get here- Yeah... but in writing. But she's great. You're really, really good at X. A lot of, a lot of- Like, you're the best... righteous anger. Yeah, you're really good at it. Um, no, I was gonna- Oh, I, I- I got li-... I, I forgot to tell you. This is a big deal. What? Uh, Diaper Diplomacy liked my tweet today. No way. Yeah. I love them.

51:05'Cause I tweeted about them. I love them so much. Oh. They're so good. The best. Okay. Um, now I forgot my q- oh, I know. Okay. I couldn't remember what my question was. Is it appropriate to talk on your cell phone while- Mm... you're getting a manicure or pedicure? Yes. You think so? Yes. 'Cause I would like to. Uh, with your headphones. Yeah, yeah, with earphones in. Yeah. Like, I would like to, but I'm always unsure if it's okay or not, and because I'm, like, so visibly Jewish always, I'm, like, extra- Oh, you're representing. Yeah. Maybe you shouldn't... I'm representing. Yeah. No.

51:39[laughs] I'm just very aware. Do it for us, Chaya La. No, but like- You s- but you tip well, too. I do. I'm very aware- Yeah... that, like, I present very Jewish, so, like, I don't know. Is it... You think it's okay to talk on the phone while I'm getting a manicure or pedicure? I think so. It, I, I would kind of not talk too loudly so that it's- Right. Right... you're not, like... But y- you know, like, if you're gonna, uh, um... S- somebody mentioned that the...

52:05A man said to me once that he saw a woman getting a pedicure with her laptop, and he thought it was the strangest thing, and I was like- No... I don't know that I think that's so strange, actually. Right. I kinda get why you think it's strange. Yeah. Yeah. But also, the, the, the thing is, I wouldn't do it at a hair salon 'cause you'd... When at the hair salon, you're kinda- No, right... talking to the person. Right. The manicurists, they haven't... They don't wanna talk to me. Right. They wanna talk to each other. That's a good point. Yeah, that's a good point. Um, it's not like we're friends. I also don't...

52:35I don't know about you, but I don't go to the same places. I don't have, like- Yeah... one- Right... service provider- No... for my nails. Right. So, um, I d- I, I... You didn't think you were gonna get such a Talmudic answer, right? No, no. Like, I have- I li- I appreciate it... I have so many reasons. No, I appreciate it 'cause I'm thinking about this a lot. Yeah, they're talking to one another. Yeah. Um, you shouldn't spe- you shouldn't be on speakerphone. No. Um- Ugh, the worst...

52:59and if you smudge, if you get a regular manicure, not gel, and you smudge it while you're getting it dry- Yeah... it's the hardest thing to do in the world, is to go back to the woman who just did your nails- I know... and say, "I ruined it." I know. I know. I used to not- I agree... do that, by the way. I used to just leave and cut my losses. Now I'm a mature adult, so I- [laughs]... I confront them. Uh, w- I don't know. Okay. You know how, like, I'm so opinionated and I have all these things? Mm-hmm. Then I go to get any service done, and I turn into a person that can't stand up for themselves. Mm. As if I have no backbone. Yeah.

53:36This week I went to get a manicure. I walked in. I... You know, I have a, a affinity for black nails. I always get black. I like it. Yes, you do. It f- makes me feel a little glo- goth. It's nice. Yeah. That's my little... I like it, okay? But I decided this week, you know what? I'm getting white nail polish. I'm getting white. Mm. It's the summer. I saw someone wearing it. I'm like, ooh, it looks really fresh and clean. I'm getting white. So I go in, sit down. The guy's doing my manicure. He d- asked me what color. I say, "I want white." So he brings me the book. I show him which white.

54:07He, he goes away, comes back. He goes, "How about natural?" And he brings me some nude color. He's like, "I show you." Oh, yeah. "I'll show you." He goes with me a nude, and I go, "Okay," and that's what I end up with. [laughs] Nude. Okay? Look, nude. Why do I have nude nail polish on my fingers? It's beautiful. Good thing we have YouTube now so our- Right... our listeners can judge for themselves. [laughs] No, but what, what is wrong with me? I literally... I mean, why couldn't I say, "No, sir, I said I would like white"? No. Impossible for me.

54:36You, you know what never has happened in the history of nail salons ever? [laughs] What? You know when they do, when you pick a color, and some of them are nice, and they'll do one coat for you- Mm... and then they'll ask you if you like the color? [laughs] And you can change your mi- I- I have never in my life said, "Actually, no. I've changed my mind." [laughs] No, never. Never. It's like code. You just don't- Once they, once they go walk to get that sample- And that's why you can talk on the phone... you're committed. You earned that right. [laughs] No, you've committed. Oh my God. You have committed to that.

55:08Gel, no gel, I don't care. It's terrible. Like, you are committed to that color you brought with you- Did you know-... from that little place... I agree. I agree. Did you know that I attended my funeral this week, my own funeral? Oh, [laughs] yes. I, I do. Well, how come we haven't talked about it? If you're still listening, you're in for, [laughs] you're in for a special treat. First of all, if you're still listening, uh- [laughs]... leave us a five-star review- Yes... and comment on Spotify and Apple Podcasts 'cause it helps us grow, and clearly- [sighs]...

55:33you have issues of your own if you're still listening to this. Oh my God. So support ours. Please do. Please do. How was your funeral? Um, my funeral was, was, it was interesting. Um- [laughs]... I, I will... It was... It made my skin crawl. I was crawling out of my skin. That's the word. Well, tell people what it was. I was like... Basically, I was, I'm ve- I'm just extremely honored that Hillel, the organization that I work for, chose to honor me at their gala this week. And I thought, "Okay, what's an honor?" You know?

56:02They'll have a speech, and I'll come up, and they'll give me an award, and I'll speak, and that will be it. But it was not like that. It turned into, like, an entire hour of, like, people... I mean, literally, like, my funeral. It w- they weren't even roasting me. It was, like, nice. [laughs] Like, at least if you're roasting, I'd be like, "Okay." I'll roast you at your funeral. My father was ch- At your funeral-... so frustrated... I'll be like- Yeah... "We had to cut the coffin in half-" My f- "... 'cause it was too big."

56:25[laughs] My father was so frustrated the whole time, and my family keeps me so humble. Don't worry. This did not get to my head. Because my family was sitting there the entire night, the entire time. They're like, "These people don't know you. They don't know the real you." [laughs] "They don't know." And, and my father the whole time is like, "I'm getting up there next. I'm gonna sp- [laughs] He was so upset that they didn't ask him to speak. He's like, "I need to get up there-" Aw "... and say something."

56:48But it was really, really sweet, and it was really special because my students- Aw... made a book for me where they all wrote letters. I have, like, all these letters now from my students. Aw. And some of them spoke. That's so nice. And some of my previous students spoke and some of my colleagues, and it was just really, really special. And of course, I had tremendous amount of, um, imposter syndrome. I sat there the entire time, like, crawling out of my skin, feeling like they don't know that I also scroll my phone for hours a day on useless nonsense, but whatever. It was very, very touching, and I got a beautiful award [laughs] Aw. That's in the shape of a teardrop. That's nice. You can throw it at a- Or a flame. A flame... intruder. That looks heavy. Yeah. It i- it is heavy, but it's very nice. La Dora- Wait, um-...

57:36I just hope no one- How come that nobody asked me to send a video message? I know. Someone mentioned the podcast in her... W- so my best friend- Good... spoke actually, and, um, she, one of the things that she said is, I'm paraphrasing it, but she's like, "Not many people can, um, interview a dominatrix in Berlin and then teach a beautiful piece of Torah 10 minutes later." So- This is true... I thought that was... Uh, that was a really- This is true... really nice thing of her to say, so, um, anyway. Can I make a recommendation? Yes.

58:06Take photos of the letters that your students gave you, and put them in a little folder on your phone. Oh, that's a... Yeah. And then on days when you're feeling like crap- Yeah... uh, look at those letters. That's such a good idea. Yeah. I did that when I, when I left my job, uh, at the NYPD. Oh. I, um, well, I sent my, my goodbye email, and I got some emails back, and I saved them in a little folder. Oh. And yeah, it's, it's a nice thing- That's so nice... to do if you have, like, letters from people- That reminds me... who think you're great. That's a really nice idea, actually. Thanks for that.

58:37Also, that reminds me, my sister, when she left her job, she decide- she made a video of herself explaining why she was leaving her job, and she's like, "I don't wanna have, like, the, this feeling of like, 'Why did I leave? Why did I leave? I should never have left.'" Mm. So she can, like, go back and watch it. Oh, it's for her. And like... It's for her. [laughs] Not for her coworker. No. No, no, no, no. Just for her. For her. I'm like, Goldie, wow. No. No, no, no. Goldie was like- She's like, "Here's why I'm leaving you." "Here's why," for her. Yeah. Yeah.

59:04No, she was like, "'Cause I kn- " She's like, "I knew I was gonna have regrets, and I needed to be able to go back and, like, remind myself." So she made a video. Oh, that's great. And she was like, "These are all the reasons why I decided to leave, and this is what was going..." 'Cause you forget all the bad stuff. Yeah. You leave a place, and then you're like, "Oh, it was so nice. It was great," and you forget that you were crying every day for three years and miserable, so.

59:24You know what the best thing is ever, ever, it's the greatest feeling in the world, is meeting up with an old coworker, a place that you no longer work at- Yeah... and hearing all the gossip that doesn't affect you anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Oh, it's so delightful. That is nice. So delightful. Okay. On that note- All right. Well, I need to get my nails done, so. Have fun. Don't call, don't call me. Um, on that note- You can call someone else. Yeah, I'll call someone else.

59:49Oh, I'll tell you a cute story just before we end, that one time I did that, and I was talking, um, on the phone in Hebrew, and, you know, as I do often, uh, here on the Upper West Side. Oh. And at the end when I hung up my call, um, the manicurist asked me if I'm from Israel, and I was surprised 'cause, you know, um, I said yes. And she started talking to me in kinda broken Hebrew and telling me that she was a, a caretaker in- Oh... I think near Jerusalem for a old lady. Wow. And I had tears in my eyes 'cause my grand, my, my- Wow...

1:00:22both my grandmothers were cared for by, by Filipino women who were- Wow... like, incredible. So it just made me feel like- That is so nice. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so. Good. That's like anti-antisemitism story for you. Yeah. How's that? No, that's nice. That's really nice. Yeah. Well, I, I don't know when this is gonna air, but happy Shavuot, and- It's probably gonna be sometime in, uh, between ER and Sivan... and Sivan. Okay, so- Yeah... enjoy Shavuot. Um, eat some cheesecake. It's a beautiful holiday. And, um, what else? That's it. That's all I have. Uh, yeah, go to YouTube. Uh, tell us if- Oh, yeah...

1:00:55you know, comment, like, sub- I don't know what people do on YouTube. Should we start playing video games and, like, stream them? We could do Twitch. [laughs] Should we have Hasan Piker on? Yeah. Ugh. [laughs] I'm, I'm so tired of everyone. I hate everyone. Okay. I, yeah, he's, his soul was at- Yeah... I don't know where it was in- No, it wasn't... in hell... he was not. No, he w- Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Bye. Okay, bye. [outro music]