S1 E05: What Playing It Safe Is Really Costing You?

In today's episode, we explore whether you may be playing it safe in your career, because we might not often think about it in this way. But safe isn't neutral. Safe has a price. And this isn't about being reckless. It's about being intentional. We tell ourselves we're being sensible, responsible, and practical because we have mortgages to pay, commitments to honour, and people who depend on us. And all of this is true. But what if playing safe isn't protecting you? What if it's costing you? Hello and welcome to courage. Loading. I'm your host, Alicia Noble, leadership coach and career transition strategist, and I help women navigate the messy middle of career transitions because real change isn't just about what you do next, it's about who you are becoming in the process. The identities you're shedding, the beliefs you're rewriting, and the courage it takes to lead yourself through it all. Because I believe every story of change begins with a single moment of courage. And this is where I help you find yours. Let's dive in. I want to start by emphasizing that when I say playing it safe, I'm not talking about a lack of ambition. I'm talking about the most driven, capable, high achieving women I know, women who are brilliant at what they do, who have worked incredibly hard to get where they are and who on paper are very successful. And yet some of these women are often quietly exhausted and even frustrated by the version of themselves they need to maintain to stay there. So what is playing safe look like? It often looks like staying in a role that no longer fits because leaving feels too risky. Not putting your hand up for that thing you actually want to do. Because what if you don't get it? Having an idea or a vision of a business, but filing it under your “one day” folder? Doing excellent work quietly for years and wondering why you feel so invisible. Safe has a very sophisticated disguise. It's dressed up like patients or being realistic. But underneath it's often fear. And I say this from a place of compassion, not judgment, because I've been there and I still go there more often than I'd like to admit. Now, I said at the start, this isn't about being reckless because we all know what's best for us. And sometimes life needs us to prioritize other areas. And so spending time in an environment that makes that work is absolutely the best call. And there's nothing wrong with that. So if you're waking up in the morning looking forward to your day, you're coming home, showing up as the best version of yourself. Whatever you're doing is clearly working for you. But when you find yourself snoozing your alarm for the fifth time, during the day before you've even left your bed. And when you're coming home too exhausted to pay attention to your loved ones because you don't have anything left to give. That's a cost. I spent years optimizing for safety. I wasn't unhappy per se, but I was just ticking the boxes, telling myself this is the plan. And the plan wasn't wrong. But somewhere along the way, I stopped asking whether I still wanted what the plan was leading me to, and whether I was prepared to pay the cost to get me there. There's a quote I love from Brené Brown. You can choose courage or you can choose comfort. You cannot have both. And I think that's the real heart of this. Playing it safe can feel like the responsible strategy. But if the world around you is changing and you are changing, then clinging on to what feels safe isn't neutral. It's a decision. It's a decision to keep staying where you are, even when part of you knows that that's not your story anymore. Playing it safe is often as simple as this. It's betting on a version of you that keeps everyone else comfortable at the expense of who you are becoming. And there's a question I want you to hold on to as we go through the rest of this episode. Where in your career are you still betting on safety instead of betting on yourself? So let's talk about what playing safe actually costs because it's not nothing. When you keep betting on that current version of you instead of the woman you're becoming, there's always a price. And there are forecasts. I consistently see in the women I coach and in my own experience, and they all non-financial. And that's why we often don't count them. Cost one your voice. This one happens gradually and we often don't even notice it. It starts with not saying that thing in the meeting, not volunteering the opinion that you have. Then editing your emails so carefully that your real views and perspective are so watered down that they barely matter. And eventually you get really good at saying the right things, the things that won't rock the boat. The things that won't make you stand out or make you visible in the wrong way. But in doing so, you've also made yourself invisible in all the ways that matter. Your voice is one of your greatest professional assets, and playing it safe shrinks it. When you default to the safe answer, you are quietly betting against your own perspective. Cost two your visibility. This is a pattern that I see a lot. High performing women who are essential to the organization and who are almost entirely unknown outside of their immediate teams. They are reliable and they deliver, but they choose safety over visibility. They stay in the lane where they are really competent, rather than stepping into places where they may be seen and judged. When we start to realize that playing safe just keeps us busy, it doesn't help us to move forward. It keeps us valuable, but not visible. And you cannot be recognized for a version that no one can see. And the reality is, the longer we stay invisible, the harder it becomes to imagine even being seen. The safe lane starts to feel like the only lane cost three your energy. This is the one most people feel physically. When you spend your working life performing a version of yourself, the version that fits into the culture, that meets the expectations, that delivers everything that's required for your organization and for those around you that takes energy every single day. And most performances need a mask, and that mask gets heavier and heavier every day. We choose to wear it, and the longer you hold onto that mask, the more it starts to become part of your identity and starts to overshadow who you really are. Playing safe will protect you from certain risks, but it also drains you if you're not fully bought into what you're doing. You end up spending more energy maintaining the version that feels safe, rather than building the version that feels true. Cost four. your time. This is the one that I find most confronting, because it's the one resource that none of us can recover. Every year spent in the wrong role, the wrong organisation, or the wrong version of your career is a year that you won't get back. Now, this isn't talking about experiencing a difficult season in your career, because it's often in those difficult experiences where we grow the most. They teach us what we want or don't want, and what you learn in this experience can be a great foundation for your next move. And a difficult season that's taking you somewhere is often much more valuable than a comfortable season that's keeping you stagnant. Staying where you're comfortable is fine. If that's a conscious choice. And we all have seasons where we need to be comfortable so that we can deal with the other things in our life. But if you outgrow the comfort and you continue to stay, that's when it starts costing you. The question isn't how much time you've spent playing it safe until now. It's how much more you're willing to spend consciously. So I want to leave you with a question to reflect on this week. If nothing changes in the next twelve months, you stay in the same journal, the same habits, the same level of playing it safe. How will you feel? Because the cost of playing it safe doesn't announce itself. It shows up quietly in the way that your voice gets a little softer, in the way your visibility starts to shrink in the way your days feel a little heavier. Those are the forecasts. Your voice, your visibility, your energy, and your time. So here's your one action name. The one area where you know you've been playing it safe. And over the coming week, look at where it may be costing you and make a conscious decision whether you're willing to accept that cost or take action to start betting on yourself because you know the cost is real. So how long are you willing to keep playing it safe is a choice. Just make sure it's actually yours. If you find today's episode helpful, why not go a little deeper to explore how this may impact other areas of your life? By completing by Brave Life audit, you'll find the link in the show notes. It's a coaching tool that will help you reflect on all areas of your life, so you can focus your energy where it matters most. If today's episode resonated with you, please follow and subscribe. And if you have a moment to leave a review, I'd greatly appreciate that it helps more women find this conversation when they need it most. So until next time, this is courage. Loading. I'm Alicia Noble, and remember, every story of change begins with a single moment of courage. So what's yours going to be?