Your Ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide!

0:00Announcer: This is a Getty Podcast. [Wind blows and lute music begins] Host: The nights are getting chilly and the days are getting shorter which can only mean one thing—Saturnalia is right around the corner! [Theme music begins] Welcome to If Objects Could Talk, a podcast where art and artifacts get to leave the museum vault and tell their side of the story. This week we’re helping you get ready for the biggest holiday of the season—Saturnalia of course!

0:32[group cheering] [Theme music ends] We’re joined by a Roman doll who was carved from bone in the third century CE. She’s only about eight inches tall, or the size of a small pencil case. And she’s here in this special holiday bonus episode to guide us through the hottest gifts this year, and every year, for the past 2000 years. [voice says “woah!”] But first, an old friend has slithered out from her vault again to help remind us of the holiday spirit and Saturnalia traditions.

1:07Snake Bracelet: You don't celebrate Saturnalia? [Flute music begins] Oh that’s too bad, you would love it. Saturnalia was a week-long winter festival timed to celebrate the winter solstice, the promise of a bountiful spring harvest and to honor the god of wealth, time, and agriculture: Saturn. There was feasting, partying, relaxing, and REPEAT! [laughs] Saturnalia was all about ease, even social norms and rules were lightened. For instance, gambling was illegal, but during Saturnalia a little bet didn’t hurt anyone.

1:51[dice clatter on table] And dress codes were also loosened which was disappointing because fashion is very important. [Soothing flute music begins] People also exchanged gifts, which is how I bring this back to me! [record scratch] Doll: [interrupts] Okay, okay Snake—you’ve had your episode! Now it’s my turn! Let’s give a warm welcome to [laughs] …me! [Triumphant drumroll] Hello everyone, and Io Saturnalia! [crowd celebrating] [whispers] That's how we wish each other a happy Saturnalia in Latin.

2:25I am so thrilled to be out of storage. Now, I may be a 1,700-year-old Roman doll—give or take a few decades—but giving the perfect gift is a timeless art! I understand gift giving from the inside out—because I was once a gift for a very lucky child, just like the snake bracelet. But that’s not what we’re here to talk about right now. [Lute music begins] Like the Snake mentioned, Saturnalia was the holiday of the Roman calendar and gifts were a big part of making it special.

2:58So today, I’m here to give you a hand this holiday season. [laughs] But not literally—my arms went missing ages ago. [child searching says “hmm”] You’ll need to be the one carrying the bags as you shop ’til you drop—and I’ll help out with my ultimate Saturnalia Gift Guide! [DJ air horn blowing] To prepare this guide for you, I’ve read all 223 Saturnalia gift poems by Martial. [book pages turn] I’ve scoured the best comic plays and philosophical texts of my day.

3:31All to make sure you’re getting the most bang for your coin. [coin jingle] You still use those, right? Anyway, let’s dive in! [water splash] First up on my most excellent guide: gifts to light up the dark, winter nights! [Peaceful music begins] Saturnalia started on Dec. 17 and lasted through the winter solstice—the longest night of the year! So of course, Romans loved gifting lamps, candles, and candlesticks. Some even had many wicks—because who wants one little flame when you can have six?

4:04Like many winter holidays now, light was an important way Romans celebrated Saturnalia. Light meant warmth, joy, and hope that the long nights would soon get shorter. And honestly? A cozy glow makes every occasion sparkle! [sparkling sounds] Now, not every gift had to be fancy. Who doesn't love a good gag gift? [person giggles] [Playful music begins] Poets wrote about people giving funny little trinkets and even prank presents—like intentionally bad poetry.

4:38Child: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m allergic to flowers. Ah-ah-choo! [children laugh] Doll: Saturnalia was the perfect time to be silly, you know, switch things up a bit! Another Saturnalia tradition was that people switched roles, especially the rich and the poor. But can you imagine parents acting like kids and kids acting like parents? [child says “ooh”] If you could swap roles with anyone for a day, who would you pick? Child 2: You!

5:10Mom: Me? Well I’d pick you! [child laughs] Doll: You’d fit right in with the Romans! Okay, now for some rapid-fire all-time favorites! For the food lovers I suggest roasted nuts, cheese, sausages, boar, and sweet cakes! [child says “mmm”] For the fashion fans, can’t go wrong with hairpins, rings, togas, and delicate perfume bottles! [bottles clink] For the writers and the thinkers, never enough scrolls, pens, and pretty sheets of papyrus!

5:38[pen scratch] Oh! Don’t forget a good book—I recommend Homer’s Iliad or Virgil’s Aeneid! For the gamers: Step away from the headsets and streaming devices and pick up some dice! [dice clatter] The Romans called them tali and tesserae—perfect for a lively game-just shake and toss! Pro tip: for a guide on how to play like a real Roman, listen to our “All’s Fair in Love and Games” episode. [circus-like music plays] And for the animal lovers?

6:09Why not a puppy to snuggle with on a cold winter’s night! [puppy whines] Martial wrote about a little Gallic puppy who was so adorable and playful, he couldn’t even finish describing it in one page. Now imagine giving something that cute as a gift [gasps] —you’d definitely make it a holiday to remember! [dog barks and people say “aw”] During Saturnalia, Romans gave gifts to everyone—friends, family, even the people who worked for them.

6:35[Peaceful music begins] The idea was simple: to share joy and kindness. The best thing about Saturnalia wasn’t how fancy the gifts were. It was that they came from the heart. I think the poet Martial said it best: “Give as you are able.” Now’s your turn to tell me about your favorite gifts to give this holiday and every holiday! Something you make? Something to eat? Something that makes someone smile? Remember, the best gifts don’t need to cost an arm and a leg.

7:06They just need a little bit of thought—and a lot of love. [party chatter] Well, my little Saturnalians, that’s our holiday gift guide! Whether it’s a glowing lamp, a silly poem, or a kind note, if you follow my guidance, your gifts are sure to light up the season—just like the Romans did thousands and thousands of years ago. [Theme music begins] Host: I hope you feel inspired to give like a Roman! To see photos of the doll and more gifting inspiration from the Getty Villa collection, visit the episode’s webpage at Getty dot edu slash podcasts or at the link in the show notes.

7:54If you enjoy this show, share it with your friends and leave us a comment or review on your favorite podcast app. We’re also hard at work on season two. So if you have questions or objects you want to hear come alive in future episodes, write to us or send us a voice memo at podteam at getty dot edu. This episode was written by Tocarra Elise and produced by Zoe Goldman. Kelly Brennan voiced the doll. Theme music, mixing and sound design by Alexandra Kalinowski.

8:27Christopher Sprinkle is executive producer. Special thanks to Felix Rice, as well as curators Ken Lapatin, Judith Barr, and Nicole Budrovich. Catch you next time!