Ms Rachel

0:00SPEAKER_00:Welcome back to season two of It's Open. I wore this today, and it's like what I wore on the first episode of last season. Kind of not um thinking about it, but I wanted to wear a bright and colorful outfit for our guest today, Ms. Rachel. Ah Rachel Acurzo is a friend of mine, and we have an emerging friendship, and we're we're really excited about it, as you'll see. Um, but I just got to shout out this businesswoman and children's rights advocate and educator.

0:31SPEAKER_00:Holy shit, Ms. Rachel has 21, over 21 million subscribers on YouTube and over 17 billion views on her videos. Is that incredible? People need her, they rely on her, and she is a safe space for parents to let her children be without them watching. If you need to whatever, prepare dinner or wash whatever, wash a pot and pan. You can put your kid in front of Ms. Rachel and feel good about the choice. Oh my God. And that's like on kid level, but on grown-up level, she is so fun and wondrous and full of wonder and awe.

1:08SPEAKER_00:And man, she just speaks up for people. And as a fan and as a uh, you know, consumer, to know that someone that big, that famous, that that powerful in the business world actually gives a shit about human rights and really genuinely believes all people are equal, all children equal. Someone who genuinely follows their faith. She gives me so much faith. So I'm so excited to be back with season two and to inaugurate this season with Ms. Rachel. So come on in, it's open.

1:45SPEAKER_00:We're recording today, the day that Ed Sheeran dropped McLamore from his uh concert tour because McLamore spoke up for Palestinian human rights. And um, you're saying that you've been in a position before where you have such a huge business, a huge following. People literally rely on you, Rachel, for your for your art. They really do. You said that you've been in the situation where people are like, well, then we're not gonna work with you if you speak up for human rights.

2:12SPEAKER_00:And you're like, okay, then fine. And then they're like, oh wait, just kidding, we love money. And so then they worked with you. And you feel like Ed Sheeran had this, could have had this opportunity. Yeah. Because like, what are they gonna say? Return the tickets, like they're not gonna really do that. Return all the tickets because you agree that McLamore can speak his mind, freedom of speech, and he's speaking up for human rights.

2:37SPEAKER_02:Yeah, I mean, during a genocide that targets children, and we all know what's happening, and it's been ruled a genocide by all the human rights, big human rights organizations. I've read two genocide reports by the UN commissions, and the last report was that they target kids. And just knowing that information, I just I'm always so uh confused why we can't say that Palestinians should be free. We all want to be free. Nobody should live in apartheid, nobody should not be able to leave where they're from.

3:12SPEAKER_02:Um, nobody should be trapped, nobody should have different um rights than others. Like I just don't understand. And it's so important to say genocide right now because saying it will help move the world, hopefully, to stop it.

3:28SPEAKER_00:That's right.

3:28SPEAKER_02:I felt like kids have given me this platform and and they kind of chose me in a way because they they feel the genuine love and care, and why would I abandon them and be like, I only care about kids who look like this or kids who are from this place. I wanted to be like, I care about all kids, and if I lose everything, um it's it's just the right thing to do. And if everyone speaks out, then people won't lose things. Like we have to be like, you can't bully us into not saying people deserve to live and don't deserve to be bombed, and the largest cohort of child amputees in modern history, like we all and the kids are living in tents, they're living amongst rats.

4:10SPEAKER_02:You don't bomb all the hospitals and all the schools and the homes, and then what really just breaks me is so many kids are dying from medical conditions that are easily treatable. And I've seen a mom lose one child and then the other child has this thing with the liver, or I can't exactly remember what it is, but like she's seeing her other child now die of the same thing and they're both treatable. And I just I don't get why we don't have that empathy.

4:39SPEAKER_02:Like, what if that was me and I was living in that? What would I want a celebrity to do? Um, like why don't we put ourselves in their position?

4:49SPEAKER_00:And really, if everybody spoke up, everyone would be in less danger. Yeah. You know what I mean? It genuinely helps whether you have a big platform or not. It makes everyone safer to speak up and makes the people who are being targeted of a genocide safer.

5:07SPEAKER_02:Yeah, because we want to be like we see everyone's humanity, whether you're trans, whether you're Palestinian, whether you're like we everybody is human and deserves human rights and kindness and respect. And then we move on from there, and that's great for everyone.

5:28SPEAKER_00:Do you have you heard of this thing that like the whatever hate machine that wants to call itself the manosphere, the empathy trap?

5:39SPEAKER_02:I might go on. I've heard that empathy was like not good anymore, and people shouldn't be empathetic. And I was like, no, empathy is beautiful and strong and wonderful.

5:50SPEAKER_00:Yeah.

5:51SPEAKER_02:And we need to make empathy something that everybody teaches their children. And that I mean, being a Christian, it's it's like love your neighbor as yourself. The golden rule, the whole thing is to love every neighbor. And Jesus explained that it's not people that just are your religion, and it's not people that are just not, it's not people that aren't mod marginalized, it's everyone. And it's just so bizarre to see people being like, well, not that part of the Bible, you know.

6:23SPEAKER_02:Like, I'm trying to have compassion for I try to have compassion for everyone and get to the root of like, why do you hate one religion or one group of people? Because I'm like, I think if you've ever met a bunch of people in that group, you wouldn't. Because I think so I'm like, do you just need to meet a bunch of people? And we I just don't understand. I'm I'm constantly like frustrated, I think, and just like why, why, why? And I believe that we're all connected and woven together, and that if I attack you and I'm cruel to you, like that's actually hurting me too.

7:08SPEAKER_02:And it's also just wrong. So just do the right thing, but it's also like I believe we're all connected. I don't think, like, does Ed and do other celebrities realize that that the whole world has woken up and is doesn't want this? I mean, I didn't realize at the time when I first spoke out and I got like 2,000 emails saying like that I'm horrible. Um, I got scared and like then the other things kept happening, and um I I got scared and I um but I yeah, so I so then so I was confused and I thought I thought I was really hated.

7:56SPEAKER_02:And I walked out and I was like, um really I was doing a speech at NYU and I was like, I'm gonna get booed. Um everyone hates me now. I'm scared to like be out in public because I'm so hated. And then people were coming up to me and they were just bawling and saying, like, thank you for talking about Gaza. And I was like, Oh, of course. And um then it kept happening, and um of course a lot of people in the Jewish community were saying that, like, thank you.

8:24SPEAKER_02:And um, when I had that thing where um I was an org that's well, it was said I should be in investigated by the the new the New York Post called me and was like, Do you know that um somebody there's a letter to the Department of Justice saying you should be investigated for being paid by Hamas and um when that whole thing happened, um my god actually two Jewish women and two Palestinian women, like we all got on a call and they just like they just helped me so much because I I actually was I was scared.

9:00SPEAKER_02:I was scared.

9:01SPEAKER_00:If it weren't so destructive, it would be a VEP storyline. It's such a cartoonish joke. You were on the government's website, right? I'm remembering now. Yeah. You're like adorable, beautiful Ms. Rachel face and them trying to paint you. I'm sorry to laugh. I'm just like so, it's so um flabbergasted as an anti-Semite. It's a fucking joke. Thank you so much. And everybody knows it. And also to the point it's a joke. It's a sick joke and twisted, but everyone knows it's a stupid, sick joke.

9:33SPEAKER_00:And also to the point of like celebrities not speaking up or whatever, it's like they're not brave yet, but they can become brave. But the public is becoming so fucked over by this inordinate uh income disparity, right? Oh, and everybody's money, everybody's like affordability, like everything costs a million dollars, whatever. So the public now that they're being hit day to day realizes like this is just a sham, you know? This is a sham. And some celebrity selling me something but not standing up for my basic needs, I really have faith in people.

10:09SPEAKER_00:I really believe that most people are mostly good.

10:12SPEAKER_02:I love that.

10:13SPEAKER_00:I really believe it.

10:15SPEAKER_02:I love that.

10:16SPEAKER_00:And I really think that most people are like, this is just whack. Like, yeah, I get like wanting escapism, but if you can't speak up for like a child deserving health care for you know, some forget how easy or hard it is. Like, kids don't deserve to be bombed and to die. And we all are seeing a general.

10:34SPEAKER_02:Like, I found myself on the news. I went on I can't remember what show it was. Was it PBS News Hour? One of those shows, and I said, um Oh, you went on to speak. Yeah, and I was like, There's milk during the blocking of food and milk.

10:51SPEAKER_00:Right, and I I Israel blocking just basic needs.

10:55SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I went on and I was like, Okay, so I think it was PBS News Hour, or or I think it was Democracy Now, but I was like, so there's milk a few miles away from starving babies, and the milk needs to get to the starving babies. And I'm like, how am I going on the news and begging for starving babies to get milk that's miles away? And like, how am I the authority on like that babies should have milk and not starve to death? And how is that a thing?

11:23SPEAKER_02:Like, I just kept hearing myself talk and being like, how am I saying these words? Like, and then when kids were starving um and they had preexisting conditions, and then that caused them to starve first because um like they had one one girl died of a wheat allergy, and it just I I saw her, she she was like, she just couldn't eat wheat, and she she died of celiac and she starved to death slowly of celiac. And I just still remember like seeing her dad at her grave and and knowing that that they had begged online too for her to get um treatment.

12:03SPEAKER_02:And there was another girl actually named Rahaf as well, who had something similar. It was something with weed or protein, and um, she was starving, and I saw her, and she was like, I can't stand up to pray anymore. Like, I miss standing up, I I miss brushing my hair, her hair had all fallen out. And the PCRF and I we were saying, Please help this girl, please help this girl. And we did, we did all get her evacuated, and she's a normal weight now.

12:29SPEAKER_02:And so they were like, these people went on and were like, see, Miss Rachel, these people had a pre-existing condition, that's why they're starving. Are you gonna apologize for saying that they're starving? And I'm like, no, they should have medical care. And uh and babies did starve to death. I think it was seven babies starved to death during that blockade. But I was like, there was a kid with cerebral uh CF, um, cystic fibrosis, and he was he was starving to death, and there's pictures of his ribs, and it was like just horrific.

12:59SPEAKER_02:And he got out through the PCRF, and he is a normal weight now, and there's pictures of him a normal weight. So he was starving because of the blockade and blocking medicine and food. And people were like, this big gotcha moment that this New York Times child whose spine was showing that he had a preexisting condition, and I was like, Do you hear yourself? You're saying it's okay for kids with disabilities to starve. Uh I like it's the mental gymnastics.

13:24SPEAKER_00:The mental gymnastics is so crazy. And as like you, you know me, I'm a proud Jew. I like love being Jewish so much. I'm so proud of it, and I'm so proud of my people and my lineage and our culture. I love it. And it is so um, it's like genuinely psychotic, dissociative from reality to see like my fellow Jews, fellow, meaning they're also Jewish, to see them do this mental gymnastics about a genocide. How is that a gotcha moment? See, Ms. Rachel, they had pre-existing conditions, so starving them was their fault.

14:01SPEAKER_00:I mean, it's so, it's so crazy and crazy. I I I do have, I like back to the compassion thing. Like, I have compassion for them. I'm like, you are so scared and confused and have been so indoctrinated that you don't, you can't even I know that these people, I know that most of these people have the the instincts, the basic instincts that this is wrong. But they're so fervent about it because they're trying to whip together a facade that's their denial, that's so see-through, it's so brittle, it's so obviously a genocide.

14:35SPEAKER_00:And it's so obvious that children shouldn't starve because they're Palestinian compared to other children.

14:41SPEAKER_02:Yeah, and I feel like the media is like trying to say Muslim people against Jewish people. And like in the world, like I talked to a rabbi who was like, I just went to try and get aid through. I've been to the West Bank to defend land, and like I'm like, these voices should be in the medium more. Like, I've talked to so many Jewish people who are doing so much more than me and so passionate and um were so caring when I had that crazy accusation and just like just so smart and compassionate.

15:15SPEAKER_02:It was this wonderful group of Palestinian and Jewish women being like, you know, they were saying, because you care about one group of children that's in a genocide does not mean you don't care about other groups of children. When you say black boys deserve to grow up, it's because there's racism and and they will be doing something and get killed. And like it's not because you don't love all children and you don't love white children, it's just like you know, because so Sudan, the DRC, um Gaza and Haiti, like I'm always looking at where it's the worst place to be a child because in my mind, as somebody who deeply cares about kids and sees my own kids and every child I see, and we've talked about this, and this is one reason why I'm obsessed with you in a non-creefy way.

16:05SPEAKER_02:Um, that like we just want everyone to have human rights. We want kids in the DRC and in Sudan to have food, water, education, healthcare. Um, we just want all kids to have everything they need. And I am so passionate about um ages zero to three as an early childhood educator and the brain, and I get into like nerdy research, um, but it's such a time of rapid brain development. And just seeing in Gaza that um and Sudan and the Congo that that kids they they witness violence at these ages, they um they're starved, and so the brain needs nutrition, they need these things, and if we took amazing care of every child, zero to three and beyond, it would be so transformative.

16:55SPEAKER_02:It affects them their whole life. What happens zero to three can stay with you your whole life. And like here, we're putting kids in detention centers where they don't have they have water that makes them sick, and where they're being traumatized. And the pediatricians I'm talking to that are experts in this area are saying they're being tortured, they're calling it torture at these detention centers. And I'm like, we're we're torturing kids zero to three when their brains rapidly developing, when we could take such good care of them.

17:23SPEAKER_02:That's what kills me is it's a choice. It's like the grown-ups of this world could take the best care of all the kids. And I love the James Baldwin quote: the children are always ours, every single one of them, all over the globe.

17:34SPEAKER_03:That's right.

17:35SPEAKER_02:Because, like, and and then I think the next line is about how, like, if you can't see this, where is your morality? Like, if you can't view it.

17:44SPEAKER_00:How can you claim to be a part of any faith if you don't see that?

17:47SPEAKER_02:I know. Like, how can you be like this mother's child is not like my child because they're part of this group? It doesn't make any sense.

17:55SPEAKER_00:And you're right that it's a choice, you know, we're millennials, you and I, and like we grew up, we grew up in a certain way, and you and I, I think, specifically grew up in segregated white suburbs. And it's uh it is the center, the central organizing principle of white supremacy that white people believe it, that white people believe there's a hierarchy that's real and that, and that make it easy to deny this system. But I think what we're, you know, discovering um as we enter middle age, this real like sort of stride of adulthood, not at the beginning of it, but we're, you know, fucking grown-ups now.

18:31SPEAKER_00:I think what we're seeing is that it's a choice, as you say. This system is a choice. And we're also seeing, you know, there's a trillionaire now in the world.

18:40SPEAKER_02:Oh my god, I'm so against it. Um, I can't fathom how like I am very engaged with with our audience and with um families online, and I just see the the suffering. Like they can't, and I grew up with a single mom and we were in need sometimes. And so I know what it's like to find my mom crying about money. I know what it's like to like worry about losing your home. So like I I see how many people are just like, we can't we don't have food for the tonight.

19:18SPEAKER_02:We we are worried, we can't pay the$600 that we need for rent by Friday. Um we can't, I I'm having surgery and half is covered. And I I just it's it's it's so much. I'm on threads and I'm I'm donating as much as I can to as many things because I don't need so much money. Nobody needs so much money. Yeah. I remember my mom was stressed about like shoes for gym class, and I I didn't have I got bullied for my shoes, and like was stressed about lessons, and like those things are nice if you can like I love that if my child wants piano lessons, I can afford it.

19:54SPEAKER_02:Like I think it is great to have that um and and to not be like if something happened, we don't have any savings. Holy shit. So I think like it's great to have that, but like way beyond that. Nobody needs that, nobody needs that, and I just I I disagree with it. So um, but I see like people are really struggling with child care, and I I think like I'm so it's it's amazing that it's amazing when people haven't experienced that and they're still so compassionate and they still fight for these families.

20:28SPEAKER_02:Like I experienced it, so I'm like, I'm just very thankful for those those times because um it's just like I have this understanding of how easy it is to not have money. Um and I know about$35 overdraft fees, and I know about like being like, oh, could I eat sugar? Like, is that a food? Um packets, you know, so like I am just so thankful for having those experiences. But um, and there's so many people who haven't had those experiences and are still compassionate, but I do think some celebrities are just like so out of touch, yeah.

21:07SPEAKER_02:And like I think with with some celebrities, like if you if you are so famous and you're uncancelable and you're so famous, and you won't even say like kids in Gaza should have schools, people in Gaza should have hospitals, like you don't have to do some, like you won't say something so basic, and like why can't you risk something to help save lives? And like I am really upset that people aren't speaking out about kids in detention and aren't speaking out about um Gaza and Sudan and everything.

21:48SPEAKER_02:So I'm like, it's totally been strange. Um, but it's really cool to like view everybody as exactly equal and just like.

22:00SPEAKER_00:every interaction as sacred and um there's a quote that every encounter with a child is like a divine encounter and I just always feel that totally I really like you you were talking about that that you love being with kids and oh I love I like you know I can't even believe it's like a temporary thing because I also I feel like I've always had a little kid and I'm like I'm definitely always gonna be get to hang and color with little kids but it's like probably not because I'm not a children's educator I'm a mom but I fucking love it.

22:28SPEAKER_00:I could like sit and talk to kids I feel like I'm like tripping on mushrooms like honestly I was just saying this to my manager on the phone that like I don't I don't even need any weed or mushrooms.

22:43SPEAKER_02:Talking to a kid you're just like your brain's like holy and they are too I mean they're so like experiencing the world for the first time they're like a leaf they're like it is a beautiful leaf. I know you're I'm very like I have a lot of like wonder and childlike quality and it might actually be I just learned this it might be my that I'm neurodivergent that I'm like very like full of awe for everything and very like childlike in a way um because I think with Miss Rachel people feel that I'm genuinely like what is a dinosaur and I'm just like let's learn like I'm just like excited totally kind of like you know I'm just kind of like whoa a ball I'm just like wow that's great no I know I I totally relate I'm like maybe it's because like I'm a little bit like reality is just crazy to me.

23:31SPEAKER_00:Reality's wild there's more than enough to like trip out on in reality. It's crazy. And and also there's more good stuff too. The scary stuff is so fucking scary but like the wonders of this world that's a we mutually love Mr. Rogers so much. We share a love for Mr. Rogers and he says there's not enough wonder in the world there's too much information.

23:50SPEAKER_02:There is way too much information right now. But the wonder like it's all there for the taking and and um let's talk about I just remembered a quote tell me so I was trying to like find all the answers and there was a really good quote I feel like it's by a nun but I can't remember a saint it's like learn to love the questions. I really like that. Me too because like I always wanted to have answers and um just learning to like find beauty and the mystery and the questions is really cool.

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25:21SPEAKER_00:They really are a one-stop shop for the building blocks of a kid's wardrobe. So I highly recommend going to their bestseller list and checking out what they got for the season. New customers can go to primary.com and use the code Alana that's I L A N A for 25% off your purchase excluding clearance styles plus free shipping. Well you were mentioning neurodivergence which I'm like starting to like recognize my own even in OCD being a neurodivergent quality for example um but also you know you expose yourself to the horrors of the world and stand up for people and genuinely help get people mutual aid what do you do for mental health um to stay healthy?

26:01SPEAKER_02:That's a great question. I do pray an hour a day about an hour? Yeah wow yeah and it's kind of like a meditation as well like close my eyes um when do you do it? In the morning. Cool yeah oh my gosh that's nice um I like to kneel I like to put a pillow underneath my knees and kneel on my bed and um just like listen and ask questions and um just pray to serve kids and um I also like I like wearing jewelry that helps remind me of my faith. I have um I have this ring that says I only accept loving thoughts.

26:39SPEAKER_02:So when I have a thought that's that's like worried about the future or something about the past or um like judgmental or like hurtful to me I'm like um something I learned in one therapy which it was like OCD therapy was to say like I'm not engaging that thought. Because if you like fight with a thought it can be like but I'm gonna get even bigger and more like intense. So um instead of being like say your thoughts like I'm not a good mom and then you're like I am a good mom.

27:10SPEAKER_02:Well I actually do kind of like do that but um sometimes you can just like say I'm not engaging that thought and distract yourself and be like I don't want to go down that pathway in my brain anymore because I'm like done being mean to myself. Yeah did that in my 20s. Yeah yeah as I've been in therapy for so many years and had such a hard time with my mind being like very cruel. I mean OCD is a very cruel thing. Yeah it's like if you don't do this and like you're it just tells you like whoa the most intrusive thoughts.

27:35SPEAKER_02:So like I think my brain being so hard to my mind being so hard to live with made me have like over time a very like thoughtful relationship with my thoughts. So like I don't take my thoughts seriously at all. I think of them um and I've heard I heard this somewhere as like a reflex like blinking like they go off and I don't like invest in them and like really listen I'll be like I'm not engaging that thought if it's if it's not a great one or I'll be like that's not me that's OCD because I think for me with an OCD thought it can be like my brain can be like what's the meanest thing I could like say to her right now or have her think or the most things she'd be most like freaked out about like um and so those thoughts I'll just be like that's not me that's OCD and like that's just the OCD thing that happens for me.

28:25SPEAKER_02:And that really helps me um to know that and know that my brain throughout time has just been like really hard to to live with and it's not who I am like I'm such a kind loving person. We're not our thoughts. Right. And so I think that relationship helps and then I do do something um where I heard your mind can be like an attorney that argues like the hurtful side and you have to be an attorney kind of arguing the other side. So like say my mind's like um like I forget something for my child for school and I'm like oh my God I'm the worst mom.

29:01SPEAKER_02:I'll be like um I'm a great mom and then I find three reasons why I'm a great mom and then I'm like oh my God I really am a great mom and like it's okay to make mistakes and so yeah I try and like think about um think about that and then my other ring says how would love respond so um just in my life I if something happens I'm like how would love respond and then I try and respond in that way because I think um I think when we respond how love would respond like we feel the love and we feel really good and in my prayers I was thinking about like sending love to to people who like really hate me and I felt like this love rise around me and then I was like sending love to this person who really hates me is trying to hurt me and then I felt it go higher and I was like oh it's rising around me so that means like when I have these loving beautiful thoughts like it's just around me.

29:57SPEAKER_02:You know you can conjure it. I think it's beautiful yeah I think it's good for us to be loving and I don't think it's good for us to be cruel and hateful. I I always think about that I'm like it's not like how are you being like racist online and cruel to people and hateful and cruel to the LGBTQ plus community and then you can't be feeling good inside putting out those things.

30:21SPEAKER_00:Like that's right right you know we were hanging out you and I um God what when is it I guess a few months ago earlier this year with Rania who's been on the podcast I love her. And I was me too and you know you and I were talking about Mr. Rogers and I was looking at your face and this campaign of moms and neighbors because Mr. Rogers talks about neighbors. Moms and neighbors for a global standard of human rights arose in my mind. That's so incredible.

30:47SPEAKER_00:And I I talked to you about this that I was like working on a election campaign for it that I'm not gonna go into it but uh kind of didn't work out. But I'm gonna bring this back for the I'm just gonna help however I can with the election but bring this back the global standard of human rights. And it's like we just don't even have the phrase human rights colloquial enough. It's not in conversation enough.

31:09SPEAKER_02:I love that when I met with you you were like human rights, human rights human rights because my huge thing is children's rights. I'm like children have rights and why are you violating the rights in Gaza? Why are you violating the rights in Sudan? Like why are you violating their rights to not be in detention centers and and can I just tell you that they can't drink the water they're they're not getting medical care like they're the they're living the life 24 hours a day.

31:36SPEAKER_02:If they and the kids with autism oh my God they're saying that like if they came into the ER and the condition they're in they would call child protective services to report them. And this is in government they're making millions of dollars of our tax money putting these kids in jail. Okay sorry but like I'm so into that that if we just have the standard of human rights.

31:57SPEAKER_00:And I like uh someone asked you to be the children's rights ambassador as I continue to form this. Um I am I yeah if if you'd like the role I'd love for you to be too and remember that like Brain Trust accept okay that brain trust we were meeting with Brittany Pagnick Cunningham if you remember her she's like one of my favorite um she's so strategic about how to lead for collective liberation. And also I just want to talk about the rights of children here SNAP benefits being taken away.

32:28SPEAKER_00:That was so psychotic.

32:29SPEAKER_02:And Rachel it's like is is in the name of Christianity too let's be a more Christian nation and take away SNAP benefits. Let's be a more Christian nation and put our neighbors in the stranger which is in the Bible as like right welcome the stranger put the strangers in detention centers. Right and like it's just it's so psychotic. It's it's and let's make more and more money and not help others and and let's deny people's healthcare it's like but the snap thing I mean that just breaks me you're gonna complain about a child having enough food and like I'm so excited that I heard from Troy um who's running for Senate in Maine that they have free lunch at the schools.

33:14SPEAKER_02:And I'm like why because it was always like if you had free or reduced lunch people were like and we have that in New York right oh I don't know I think we do so yeah free breakfast and lunch. I just love that like let's just give kids free food and you know what if somebody wants to get um cool ranch Doritos with their snap get get a birthday cake and cool ranch Doritos. They're allowed to use I had ice cream and cookies for dinner last night oh you asked about mental health um I want to get outside more yeah and like be on the ground more in the grass.

33:46SPEAKER_00:Yeah did I tell you I do a psychoanalysis I do three times a week therapy. Wow crazy. But like brilliant I fucking love it. That's great. And you were talking about the thoughts earlier like my thoughts are not me. Like almost in practicing meditation in the past how you see the thoughts go by that's kind of how I do it now where it's like that he's like pay we just pay attention. So we pay attention and don't judge and then I do see these are like patterns and relating to the mean thing sometimes I'll say super mean shit to myself or more used to but now it's like this piling up of tasks I have to do and then I pay attention I'm like what is this and it's like oh I actually think I'm not enough unless I do these tasks and check off this list.

34:25SPEAKER_00:I'm not enough. That's what I'm telling myself here. You don't deserve rest right now even though it's late at night yeah and you could be sleeping you don't deserve rest like you know and and like I I think instead of believing the thoughts paying attention to them as you were saying or noticing them but I am also at this point right now where I want to actively like lift up I'm like a little bit sick of like the even with the world even with you know um activism and advocacy instead of looking down looking up kind of this moms and neighbors thing looking up how to how to you know reach upward toward toward the sky.

35:01SPEAKER_02:I love your spirit and your smile and your brains oh I love your so beautiful oh my god what an honor I love your so beautiful I love your head just radiating love and light here thank you and soaking it in.

35:16SPEAKER_00:Oh my god when we watch Ms. Rachel I'm like this is so calm and so sweet and I feel so like and this is why kids love you so much like you pierce through the screen you know what I mean and it feels like somebody cares. Ms. Rachel cares I do care.

35:29SPEAKER_02:It's just honest like I can't people ask why kids love it and I'm like I really think they feel the genuine care because I've been working with kids since I was 18 and like when I had my first job working with kids um it was working with kids with disabilities and I went into the classroom and I was like this is a job I went home so excited to go back the next day and be with them and actually form such a special bond with a little boy with cerebral palsy that they were like will you be his one-on-one and um he would like we would laugh together and find ways to like make each other laugh without speaking and like um he was just so bright and sweet and like we had such a special bond and it was just such a gift.

36:15SPEAKER_02:And I do remember thinking like I'm gonna go in and like help these kids and like they really transformed me. Right. Right and hopefully I was helpful. I had so much love um but I realized like they around that time I feel like um being a teenager during that time with 18 I was like what am what's my value? And like I feel like society was like it's your looks and it's this and it's that and and um I realized like my value was that I could help kids and my supervisor wrote like Rachel has a rare gift with kids that I don't often see and I was like I have a gift for working with kids I was like I have something special because I wasn't the best in school I realize now like being neurodivergent that um I I didn't have like all the tools to do well in school.

37:06SPEAKER_02:Yeah and so I was like oh I have something valuable to offer I have like this gift with kids and my mom has that so I think like she passed it down.

37:15SPEAKER_00:Um yeah but just can we talk about neurodivergence like how you've explored this yeah so um I kind of want people to know what's available.

37:23SPEAKER_02:I like in my 20s realized that I had I have generalized anxiety disorder me too like always anxious of it awesome I mean sometimes I'm like we're alive so we're anxious all the time like yeah it's crazy here. So I have generalized anxiety disorder and then I am really a big proponent of mental health curriculum in schools because I started having OCD symptoms at seven so I was like if there had been something in school that was like this is what OCD is because I thought like my mind's so bad like why is my mind so mean and bad and like why what's wrong with me so I realized I had OCD and my OCD is pretty severe um and then I have ADHD which I kind of like realized in high school um but in my 20s I was like I I listened to people who were saying like just do yoga and meditate and drink green juice and like I definitely like talk to ministers and I was like I just want to be strong and like go off meds and so I would go off and then I would um fall apart.

38:28SPEAKER_02:Totally and then I would go back on and then I'd be like I have to do this without meds I have to be strong and I would go off and I just feel so bad for that 20 year old girl who had like so many things wrong with her brain and was like I need to be strong because I finally had a psychiatrist Dr. Gold I love you so much who was like sat me down and was like you need this like you have a physical illness and need medicine. Like it's the same thing.

38:51SPEAKER_02:And like you I'm not like letting you go off your medication anymore. Like I don't want you to do that. And I really needed kind of that tough love like and then I I was trying to kind of turn things I always turn things around in my mind like that it's strong to stay on medication that I need and it's strong to to take medication because for me I like worry about what does it do and so for me it was like a real thing where I had to um first like not have a stigma for having mental health problems.

39:20SPEAKER_02:And then second I had to get rid of the stigma of medication. So um I feel like I had a lot of like shame and guilt about having mental health conditions like um what's like why like why is my brain like this and um I've I've really come to come to peace with that and been like um but I think with with mental health conditions and neurodiversity um it's like I think it's also good to be like it's a struggle yeah and it's been a struggle yeah and it it there's areas of your brain that often are like really developed and awesome like like the ability to like um think of ways to teach that are unique or like just like be with a child and like kind of get creative ideas about fun things to do to play with them and like just that is a a beautiful gift and then there's like all these problems and that that it's okay to have a brain like that and that like there's nothing I think like my whole life I've been like there's something wrong about me or wrong with me.

40:24SPEAKER_00:Totally um it's like what you're told by capitalism so that you buy shit.

40:28SPEAKER_02:That's so true too.

40:29SPEAKER_00:It's just like no there's nothing wrong with that.

40:31SPEAKER_02:40s are really nice for me for that. Like I've just been like um really like feeling just changing all these ideas that I realized were messages that I heard that aren't true for me. Yeah. Um I love 40s.

40:47SPEAKER_00:Yeah I was um I was on uh antidepressants for 13 years so helpful from 19 to 32.

40:55SPEAKER_02:I've been on forever yeah yeah I uh I wanted it when I was yeah yeah 19 to 32 so so helpful I just couldn't function without them no you know and like just I can't still yeah and that's okay yeah it's totally okay and it's it's medicine you're reminding me of a I had such a great psychiatrist um who was also my therapist and I you're that's that same conversation of like it this is a physical yeah physiological you're sick you need medicine yeah oh it's so crazy it is and um recently I just decided to learn more about my brain and and did this big evaluation to to learn more about my brain and um it was like really nice to just see that um I have trouble with like working memory I guess and and like executive function and um but I in my evaluation was talking about how like I'm really good at um standing up for people which was really nice because I actually don't feel like I feel like it's hard to stand up for myself but like when I stand up for other people I feel like I just always if it's for kids I'm like very I've been in Zooms where I'm standing up for kids and like kind of calling people out for things and I feel like wow I am very strong.

42:11SPEAKER_00:Yeah yeah and it's like you're executing on that yeah you know what I mean proud of that you know and women also tend to pass more we are so adaptive and so excellent and presentation that we we pass more in our neurodiversity yeah and then it's harder to identify I think even within ourselves oh my gosh it's like why did it take so long for me to realize this I know yeah but it's like because it just took that time.

42:38SPEAKER_02:I also feel like the thing you were saying about not being enough I feel like it's it's hard um I think when you're trying to work and be a mom sometimes also you feel like you're not enough at either um but I feel like sometimes I think about Susie and Thomas like knowing that I advocate for other kids who are in such difficult situations and I feel like they'd be really proud of that. That's right. So I think that's cool.

43:09SPEAKER_00:And like that's their values that's your values being embodied like you you are my child but we are all equal and it's important that I I speak up for you all the time. It's important that I speak up for kiddos.

43:20SPEAKER_02:What it's so fun having a kid and realizing things too that you want to change for them. Like Susie now is like sorry sorry and I'm like oh no she's apologizing because I always apologize. I'm like I need to say sorry less yeah because I like somebody will walk past me and knock me down and I'll be like I'm sorry that I existed in your way yeah fully I've apologized to like walls I bump into walls and like I'm so sorry wall I heard that like having compassion for inanimate objects is neurodivergent and I am like that.

43:55SPEAKER_02:I'll be like oh microwave and then I'll be like I'm sorry you are you are good microwave

44:00SPEAKER_00:I always talk to spaces, especially like our like home if we're leaving it. And so sweet. My daughter, like it's so cute. Oh my God. Her picking it up. I'm like, okay, this is a good thing. But I'll I'll end with this. You know, there's so much like uh I guess content about like being like being a mom sucks because of this, being a mom sucks because of that, or whatever. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? And I I get it. Me too. This is what I want to talk about.

44:22SPEAKER_00:I I want to say I get it. And also I appreciate that there's a space in the discourse for people to complain about how hard it is to be a mom.

44:30SPEAKER_02:They're not supported.

44:31SPEAKER_00:That's right. And this is why we're complaining because mom's uh basic needs are not met, and actually the system is pitted against moms so that it makes it so fucking impossible.

44:41SPEAKER_02:They should get a year off when the baby's born. 100. They should be paid and they should have um affordable, high-quality childcare.

44:51SPEAKER_00:That's right.

44:51SPEAKER_02:Yeah.

44:52SPEAKER_00:That being said, you and I connect on really fucking love. Oh my god. Loving being moms.

44:58SPEAKER_02:Oh my gosh. Can we just can I just hear what you love, mom? Since I was little.

45:01SPEAKER_00:Yep.

45:02SPEAKER_02:I was just like, I want to be a mom. Yeah. I love laughing with them every day. Um they make me laugh every day. Yep. So cute.

45:12SPEAKER_03:Yeah.

45:13SPEAKER_02:Um, I love watching them discover the world. I love just snuggling up with them. I love. What do you love?

45:22SPEAKER_00:Oh God. I love I trip out looking in my kids' face. Yeah. Close up. I'm just, I'm just so in love with her. Just talking to her. I could sit and talk to this person all day. Me too. All day, man. I love it.

45:36SPEAKER_02:Dancing around the house, making up songs, being silly.

45:41SPEAKER_00:The little daily things, cuddling, love cuddles, bathing, showering, just like doing focusing together. Honestly, just having the time to focus on the task at hand and be in it together is a privilege that shouldn't be a privilege. But I really soak it up. I love it.

45:58SPEAKER_02:I love it too. And we had some some trouble with getting there. And um, it was really painful. And um, whenever I like see back to school photos and stuff, and and actually with social media, sometimes if you have a miscarriage and like you put in you had put in your baby's dates because you thought it was gonna be a good pregnancy, um the the internet knows you were pregnant and like tries to advertise things to you about your baby, and it's just like so painful.

46:27SPEAKER_02:So, like anybody going through that, just sending so much love, because like wanting to be a mom. Yeah, I remember just like wanting so much to be a mom and like just how how painful that is, and then to have it is just like really special, and um, you know, there's so many ways to like be a mother and mother, and it's beautiful, and um yeah, it's it's so sweet being a parent, and they take you back to the moment, and yeah, um that's right, yeah, it's so much fun.

46:56SPEAKER_02:It actually like helps me. It is good for my mental health to like shut things off and just just be with them and look at like an aunt and be like, it's so cute. Let's sing the ants to go marching one by one. Yeah, yeah. I love singing with the kids, yeah.

47:09SPEAKER_00:Um, well, Rachel, Rachel, you're a gift to this world, you're a gift to me. You are too much interpersonal gift to me. I'm so excited about our friendship. Me too. It's a privilege. Um thank you so much, and uh thanks for having me on.

47:24SPEAKER_02:This was so fun. I love your show and I love this.

47:29SPEAKER_00:Oh boy, I could have gone on and on and on. This recording was very long. We really like could have gone on and on and on, and I just love the way her mind just pops around and she's so free. And you could tell, like increasingly so, you know. I really relate as a millennial, as a millennial woman, um, the self-policing we've done and the self-loathing we've been indoctrinated under and practiced. And then the unlearning is while it maybe was unnecessary in the first place, it's it's a joy to unlearn that shit.

48:00SPEAKER_00:Um, and what a what an amazing model she is of that. Ugh, lover. What a beauty, what a beauty. Um, so this has been an exclusively human-made production. This has been a StarPix production. I want to thank my creative producers, David Rooklyn and Annika Carlson. I want to thank the Brain Trust, Madeline Kim, Kelsey Kylie, and Glenis Mahar. I want to thank the people who made this show look and sound so beautiful, Nicole Maupin, Kevin Deming, and Lexa Krebs.

48:24SPEAKER_00:Thank you, Ramo Ventura, for the beautiful graphics and the opening musical sting, as well as Don Hur, the band, for this outro musical sting. I want to thank Tova Libowitz, our editor, and collaborator here. And um listen, guys, if you like this show, like, subscribe anywhere you podcast on YouTube. It really makes a difference in being able to bring you this show. Um, and that's it. Thanks for joining us again for season two, and I'm looking forward to the next time.

48:55SPEAKER_00:God love ya. Come on in. Let's open.