Bill Burr

0:00SPEAKER_00:Welcome to It's Open. I'm still so excited that we're in season two, and I'm thrilled about our guest today, who's my friend Bill Burr. Bill started stand-up comedy in 1992, and he is a fucking champ. He was named one of the 50 best comedians, stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stone, which is just sick. He and I met, I guess we met because we both had specials on Hulu, but then we really became friends because we were doing Broadway at the same time.

0:28SPEAKER_00:And he's just a multi-hyphenate and a real like thought leader, but also this is so like um sincere, but like a heart leader, because he really does. He leads with heart. Um he's got eight stand-up specials, they're all fucking hits. He's been in TV and movies and and made TV and movies. Um but like looking it up, I just remembered he was in fucking breaking bad and was in the Mandalorian. I'm like, girl, and he's gonna be in the social reckoning, the upcoming movie about uh Facebook that's not a sequel to the social network, but is an update with where we're at.

1:02SPEAKER_00:He's amazing. And I loved our conversation. And I hope you will too. Come on in. So I didn't knew you were in the social reckoning.

1:14SPEAKER_01:Oh, yeah.

1:15SPEAKER_00:That's fucking major.

1:16SPEAKER_01:Well, it hasn't come out yet, so a lot of people don't know that I'm in that.

1:20SPEAKER_00:What what parts you play?

1:21SPEAKER_01:So it was, you know, it's written by Aaron Sorkin, and it's just it's incredible. And like I'm like the slowest reader ever. And when I got this script, I still remember it was 145 pages. I'm like, this is gonna take me like four nights to get through this. And I started reading it, and the way he writes, it's like a snowball going down like the hill. And it just I I sat there in one sitting summer school kid, and I got through all 145 pages. I was like, wow, that's like one of the I that might be the best script.

1:49SPEAKER_01:I think it's the best script I was ever sent. It's really about this real life employee that was at Facebook that had the courage to look at the direction they were going in, say it was wrong, and become like a whistleblower. That's the real that's the main I'm like the B or C story. So what our ours just sort of going back and forth is I believe uh the Facebook guy is about ready to go in front of like Congress and they're coaching him how to testify so he can basically continue doing what he's doing rather than potentially fixing his business so he doesn't create a civil war or be part of the reason that we feel like we're headed towards that.

2:34SPEAKER_01:It was amazing. And I and I got to work with, you know, everybody on it was just, you know, I met all these Billy Magnuson and Winmee and all of these amazing, amazing, amazing actors. And I I, you know, I d I love like, you know, there was sort of like an ensemble thing, so there was like six of us. So I I'm kinda into like watching how people do like their thing, you know, uh when it comes around to them, their coverage and the choices that they make.

2:58SPEAKER_01:And it was like uh it was just like a really fun hang.

3:01SPEAKER_00:Yeah.

3:02SPEAKER_01:And we shot in Vancouver, which is a really cool city, and it just I had a great time.

3:06SPEAKER_00:Billy Magnuson is so funny. Like as an actor, he is so fucking funny.

3:11SPEAKER_01:He's funny as a person, just in general, he's like super positive.

3:14SPEAKER_00:Uh-huh.

3:15SPEAKER_01:Like, oh my god, can you have this muffin? This is like the best muffin ever, you know.

3:19SPEAKER_00:I met him in college and he was like always that person. Yeah, no, no, he's uh kind of like a cheerleader vibe.

3:24SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, he's he was like, no, we totally like we totally hit it off. And uh yeah, it was just it was a good time. It was just a good time. And and Aaron was awesome. He was, you know, wrote it and he was directing it and stuff, and uh he was like super excited, you know, after like a good take.

3:41SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Um that's so cool.

3:43SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I'm a total people pleaser, so if he came out and he was excited, that would like make me happy or whatever.

3:47SPEAKER_00:So congratulations, that's huge.

3:49SPEAKER_01:Yeah, no, it's all right, we'll see.

3:51SPEAKER_00:Did you like the social network, the first movie?

3:54SPEAKER_01:Uh yeah, yeah, I did. I liked it a lot. And I actually I was one night, my lovely wife was going, like, you know, I know this because it's not a sequel. It's just sort of like the first one was like, This is how it came about. And this one is just completely about like the dangers of not fact-checking political ads.

4:14SPEAKER_02:Uh-huh.

4:15SPEAKER_01:And you know, not just calling them out specifically, but like just in general, this this whole like I don't understand why if I say something that's a lie on TV, I can be sued for libel or slander. But like, if you do it on the internet, you can just literally make shit up, and there's no rule, it's it's a really crazy thing. So like it's sort of examining that aspect of of uh politics now. So um anyway, uh, I did go back and I watched the first one, and it was one of those ones like, you know, I'm just gonna watch like 10 minutes get like the vibe of it, and then like two minutes later I'd watch like the whole movie.

4:56SPEAKER_01:Yeah, yeah. And like yeah, it's a great cast uh on that first one too.

5:01SPEAKER_00:So yeah, it's so fucking crazy like that we've like watched this unfold. And it's really cool that you're like a part of the telling of like why we're here now. But it's I've been like running it back, you know, in my head of like the past 10, 20 years of like being on Facebook for college, and you like would get uh you would get your college email, and that was the only time you could go on Facebook.

5:25SPEAKER_01:Oh, really?

5:25SPEAKER_00:And it was like, oh my God, I'm not going to college. Like, I'm gonna go on Facebook. And then it becoming a public general thing, and then it becoming parents took it over, and then it became like just like this political kind of thing.

5:38SPEAKER_01:I mean, yeah, it was sort of like the lab rats for all of this stuff, and it like hasn't been good. And I just know I can just say, like, in the time that I've done been doing stand-up, I started in 1992. It used to be we we hated the Russians. And that was it. And now it's like people hate states. It's just like you want to be like, guys, same teams here. Like, like people hate California, they hate New York, that or they hate Texas and they hate Florida.

6:03SPEAKER_01:It's like, dude, those, like, don't you watch sports? Like, the and and the the thing that's scary to me is because there's so much content out there, like um being like abrasive or like uh divisive is how you get clicks. And so everybody is sort of participating in pulling this thing apart. Like, you know, Trump to Biden to Trump is insane. It's like it's you got two guys who should be in a home. Like, how about somebody young that is gonna have to deal with the ramifications of the of the decisions or whatever sub well, you know, I'm just a comics, but it's like everybody's just grabbing what they can off the shelves and running out with whatever they can.

6:47SPEAKER_01:But uh, you know, capitalism is a great thing if it's regulated. And they started deregulating it in the early 80s, and that's how we ended up like where we're at, and all of this this new way of doing business where like you come up with something and you just close the door behind it, and it's like no nobody else is making money in this business, this this sector of business except for me, and then I'm gonna systematically eat up everybody that's left.

7:13SPEAKER_01:I'm gonna do the startup lead loss, I'm gonna overpay everybody, and when we put out and everybody's gonna come to me, and then we put everybody else out of the business, I dictate the market, and you're gonna work for fucking pennies, yeah, or you're gonna be homeless. And like that's happened in our business and every other business, and it's just like you know, that's it, it that's it's it's out of control. Like you can tell it's a monopoly when they don't give a fuck.

7:38SPEAKER_01:Because it used to be like when there weren't monopolies, all you had was your reputation, the quality of your product, and how you treated your customers. When you have a monopoly, that's why, like, you know, like Live Nation, they're internally sending emails laughing about how much they're fucking over people. Like, this is what we fucked them out of parking, and it's just like, why would you guys be joking about that? Because if there was somebody across the street that treated them better, you'd lose all your business, but there's nobody across the street anymore.

8:05SPEAKER_00:Right. So And it's like annoying too. Like it's it's tragic at worst, but it's just like fucking annoying on a on the day to day.

8:14SPEAKER_01:No, it does get to the point of like, dude, like how big does your yacht have to be? Like, I have no problem with people having zillions of dollars, but like pay the workers.

8:22SPEAKER_00:I know. It's so weird.

8:23SPEAKER_01:Give them benefits, let like most people like don't have ridiculous like demands. It's like, I would like to have a family, I'd like to be able to clothe, shelter, and feed them and not have to worry every month that I'm gonna be homeless. Yeah, you can still have the bigger house, you can be on the hill, you can look down. I don't give a fuck.

8:42SPEAKER_00:I know. I I'm like, it's it's so weird that they like don't want to even be liked. You know, the like antisocial aspect of it is so creepy to me.

8:51SPEAKER_01:Yeah, the the more of a reptile you are, the more ruthless you are, it's respected in business. And they and then they hide behind the well, that's how business is done. It's like, no, it isn't. Yeah. That's how you're doing business. They just have like these sayings, well, if I don't do it, somebody else would. And it's just like, all right. I don't know. I I I try not to like pay attention to it now because it's like super depressing. So I just kind of like uh, you know, I just tell my jokes and I try to like, you know, be there for my kids and my wife, and like I don't know what else I can do.

9:27SPEAKER_01:It's like I know because everything else is just people yelling at each other.

9:30SPEAKER_00:I know. I like That's uplifting. When I when I go on on Instagram, I like get into like I get so depressed and like spiral, and then I'm like, oh yeah. I then I remember don't go on fucking Instagram. Social media drives me insane.

9:45SPEAKER_01:I know, but it is fun. I get motorcycles and old cars. No, my algorithm is like saving that workout video that you know you're never gonna do.

9:53SPEAKER_00:My my my algorithm trolls me for sure and like pulls me into anxiety and depression, or I like skincare videos, but like that's like that's trolling me too. They're like, you get an older bitch, you tap your face a hundred times in a row, and this will save you. And then I'm doing like dumb like exercises, like so stupid.

10:12SPEAKER_01:Like they just they're doing the the what do they call the assumptive close and sales? It's like you're doing this face exercise and your turkey neck is going away. It's like, no, I'm not. I just I literally just found this, you know. I know you're trying these social techniques, and all of a sudden your business is growing. It's like, is that what I'm doing? I'm literally in real time getting this information. Um I didn't I wasn't aware I was already doing this.

10:37SPEAKER_00:Oh my god.

10:38SPEAKER_01:I used to- I did like you know, I I go on it a lot less and I started reading again, and it's just your brain starts working again in a in a in a in a better way. But like I definitely get like uh like there's definitely nights like I I am so filled with anxiety. I'm like, what am I fucking worried about? Everything is and it's like, oh, oh, I I was on, I I was looking at too many videos.

11:00SPEAKER_00:Exactly. I like I watch like happy videos, they're not like it's but there's some pull, like by design, some pull to make you feel whatever capitalism not enough, or like you're like death, like it's so it's it's so weird.

11:16SPEAKER_01:No, but I get I definitely I st I in my algorithm I do have the ice and flock camera things yeah of people taking them down who are absolute fucking heroes and then them getting arrested. And then you're just like, all right, maybe I should start reading a book. I know.

11:29SPEAKER_00:I know, dude. Oh my God. I like I have been thinking this recently. I want I want revolution. I don't want a revolution.

11:39SPEAKER_01:Like, I I don't want the I don't want the you know what if we could all get on the same page and just just decide like and you could go nonviolent. It's just everybody's like, guess what? We're gonna be off the internet for a week. Yeah, yeah, next time it's gonna be two weeks, the next time it's gonna be three, we're not gonna use our phones. Because that's the thing about them is we're participating in this digital society, but like if we just pulled back, if people started getting landlines, okay, this is the first we're getting a landline.

12:10SPEAKER_01:This is our first shot across the bow. Yeah, you kind of start doing that stuff, and then you start, okay, today we're all leaving our phones at home.

12:18SPEAKER_00:Yeah.

12:18SPEAKER_01:Okay, we're shutting them off, and just to deal with them not being able to track you everywhere the fuck you go.

12:24SPEAKER_00:Yep.

12:25SPEAKER_01:Like I don't answer any questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I feel like everything is shared now, and they're building my robot replacement, and I'm not giving my robot replacement the answers. Yeah, yeah. Like when you go to a restaurant, is this your first time here? Are you allergic to anything? I'm not answering any of those fucking questions. That's none of your business.

12:42SPEAKER_00:Oh, you mean even in person?

12:44SPEAKER_01:Yeah, uh, it's none of your fucking business what my phone number is, how many times I've been here. If I'm allergic to something, I'm gonna tell you. I'm not required to answer any of these fucking questions.

12:53SPEAKER_00:Are you my doctor?

12:54SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I want a grilled cheese sandwich with fries well done.

12:57SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah.

12:58SPEAKER_01:It's on the menu. I've ordered it. You bring that to me, I will pay you, and I'm getting the fuck out of here. You're not getting any backstory as to how I ended up here.

13:07SPEAKER_00:I love it. And I think it's effective too. I think it's just like we're um we are like totally pawns in their virtual world, digital world, digital society is such a great way of saying it.

13:17SPEAKER_01:Oh God, it's how are you enjoying this app like out of nowhere? None of your business. Yeah. None of your business.

13:23SPEAKER_00:Yeah.

13:24SPEAKER_01:I am living as analog a life as I can. I drive old cars, they're still manual. Yeah, my car's a good thing.

13:30SPEAKER_00:My car's a computer for some reason.

13:31SPEAKER_01:It dude, like it's it's a surveillance thing. I had I bought my dream truck. I bought a Ford F 250, I had the lights on top, four-wheel drive, 6.7 turbo diesel, right? I always wanted, I've just always been a truck guy. And I get the thing and I sync my phone with it, and the truck immediately starts talking to my phone, tracking the phone to see where it sits eight hours every night, trying to figure out where I live to share with Ford Motor Company.

13:56SPEAKER_01:I had to sell the thing. I felt like I was in the mob. Like I had to talk to my wife like Joe Pesci in casino, going like, hey, you want to go out to breakfast? So I got rid of it. And now I just I, you know, I drive a car that's like 25 years old, and then I got a truck that's as old as me.

14:13SPEAKER_00:Hi listeners and viewers. It's my ground news segment dogs. So if you don't already know, Ground News is a website and an app that collects uh articles from all around the world and organizes them from the left leaning bias to the center to the right leaning bias. So you don't have to. You ever read an article and you're like, what the fuck is this saying or trying to make me think? What I love about ground news is that it tells you exactly the angle from which this article is coming at your brain, coming to your brain.

14:40SPEAKER_00:Other features of ground news is that they'll tell you where the news source is coming from, who it's being paid for by, as well as whether this reporting is original or recycled. So Canada unveils nuclear strategy, promises to become energy superpower. Let's see how people are covering it because I'm like, I want to be an energy superpower. I also don't want to be like in a fucking fascist freefall anymore. Okay. The left is saying Canada looks to build up to 10 new nuclear reactors by 2040.

15:06SPEAKER_00:Is that good? Yikes. Uh, okay, this is center. Federal plan aims to boost nuclear sector with up to 10 new reactors, expand international footprint. And this is kind of the same from the left, from the center, from the right. Canada looks to build up to 10 new nuclear reactors, sell more conduit reactors abroad. Okay, so they're like stoking the flames of competition, which honestly, like I'm feeling myself. So if you want to um form your own opinions and ideas around the news as you consume it in real time, I highly suggest you use ground news.

15:42SPEAKER_00:This is what I use every day, the vantage plan. And today I can offer you 40% off if you go to groundnews.com forward slash open. And that's the tool I use every day, and you can get it for 40% off. And the direct link is available in episode descriptions on every platform where you listen to or watch. It's open with a lot of glazer. I'm like so interested in like plumbing, you know. Like I want to know how to do that shit and like even like fucking little electrical shit around the house.

16:11SPEAKER_00:I would love to.

16:11SPEAKER_01:I got into plumbing for a minute.

16:13SPEAKER_00:Yeah? How'd you do it?

16:14SPEAKER_01:I just YouTube videos and oh, I had the whole thing. I had the big wrenches and the plumber's tape and the the fucking that little gray paste that you put on. And I fixed some, I fixed some shit in my apartment. Okay. And then what happened? This was I had this massive failure one time was uh the J-trap like underneath uh our apartment, which was literally from like Charlie Chaplin's era. And I went to like unscrew this fucking thing, and it was so rotted, it all just it like not only just fell out of the wall, part of the wall came down.

16:44SPEAKER_01:Fuck and like I had the water shut off, and I was just like the water had been shut off, baby. I forget what did something go into the J trap? I think my wife's earring went down and I in the kitchen and I tried to get it, and the like the whole assembly just fucking like was turned to powder in my hands, and I was like, you know, I was just literally gonna unscrew this, unscrew this, take it off, go like that, and then screw it back on. And everything just was came off, and I was like, oh my god, what do I do?

17:14SPEAKER_01:So then I had to call like the maintenance guy. In New York, this is no, this was in LA, and like it reminded me a long time ago. I had this old truck, and this is when I was first like with all of this stuff, I went to my first failure. And like with comedy, my first bombing, I kept coming back.

17:31SPEAKER_00:You got into comedy young. High school, you said?

17:33SPEAKER_01:No, no, no, I'm old. I was like almost 24 in 1990. I was 23, about to be 24.

17:39SPEAKER_00:But you know you wanted to do comedy that young?

17:41SPEAKER_01:No, you know what? I I knew I loved comics, but it just seemed like it was it show business was like a million before the internet, it was a million miles away. There was like one person in your neighborhood, maybe some dad who would shoot Super 8 video. Nobody had like video cameras, and then those big stupid ones with the VHS tape came out. But like show business, like I thought to become a comedian, I thought I had to move to Hollywood. Like, I and I had no idea that one of the best stand-up scenes was right down the street in Boston, and it wasn't until I was working in a warehouse um and I met somebody that actually wanted to do stand-up and verbalized it.

18:21SPEAKER_01:And he we used and he was fucking hilarious, and he would like we would it was funny, we would go over to his place, he still lived at home, and uh he had like a kitchen fridge in his room, and you know, we would drink a couple of beers before we went out to save money to go out to the uh narcissist or whatever friggin' dance club or whatever that was, right? And uh oh my god, yeah, yeah. I swear to God that was the name of the thing. Dude, let's go to fucking narcissist in Kemmore Square.

18:48SPEAKER_01:So, but we used to we used to watch like stand-up, and it was like towards the end of the 80s boom where anybody with a pulse was getting on TV, and he was going, Bill, look at these guys. He goes, We're funny, these guys. And then I remember he said, one of these nights I'm gonna take a shot at Jack Daniels and go on stage on an open mic, and then all of a sudden that was the first time it wasn't on TV, it was sitting next to me, and it would became like possible.

19:08SPEAKER_01:But even then, I was so shy and like scared that it still took me like um probably like another two years before I even tried. And uh and then also like I just felt like I had to get through college. My parents really big, you need a college education, something to fall back on.

19:25SPEAKER_00:Where'd you go to college?

19:26SPEAKER_01:I went to a number of places and then I I finished up at uh Emerson College.

19:31SPEAKER_00:What'd you study? What did you like think you were gonna do?

19:33SPEAKER_01:Well, I knew at that point I was gonna be a comedian, and it was more of a performance school, so I just went there and I majored in like it was like mass communication with like a major in like radio. So that was like my baby step way into being on a microphone and talking to people, but they weren't there. Radio was sort of the perfect medium for that. Oh yeah, I used to do uh the 2 to 6 a.m. shift, 6 40 a.m. Oh god W E C B, a broadcast. How old were you?

19:58SPEAKER_01:Uh I don't know, like 22, 21, 22.

20:02SPEAKER_00:Did you have like a voice you did?

20:04SPEAKER_01:No, I was just like, I know I was completely walled off. Like I commuted. I had like I was so like the boy in the in the social bubble. Like I was Wow. No, no, I was uh I was a Did you have anxiety?

20:18SPEAKER_00:Was that like why you were? Anxiety, yeah.

20:20SPEAKER_01:I had like alopecia. I was a fucking mess. I was a mess. Like I had and I was not, I was completely not even remotely aware of any of that. And then I was like a fucking uh yeah, I just had so many issues in it and which were sort of I was fearful then and then somewhere along the line that fear turned into the anger, and then it went off the rails for a good two decades. And uh yeah, it took a long time it like I I finally got through it December 1st of last year.

21:02SPEAKER_01:That's like my anger sober date.

21:04SPEAKER_02:Yeah.

21:04SPEAKER_01:Um, I did like this breathwork massage that just fucking was like 30 years of therapy, but it was kind of and like people were like, Oh, I gotta go do that, I gotta go do that. It's like it's it's not how it works. You have to be like ready.

21:17SPEAKER_00:Ready, yeah, yeah, yeah.

21:18SPEAKER_01:So like I had kind of bottomed out being this angry guy, fuck you, I don't give a fuck. I don't need anybody, I don't I don't care, you know, like I I don't give a fuck, I don't care. That was my big thing. Like, that's how I handled caring and being hurt, was was saying that I didn't care. So um yeah, it's been uh yeah, it's been a wild fucking nine months after that, ten months. It's been good, but it was just kind of like oh, so this is who I would have been.

21:47SPEAKER_00:Like the breath work thing? Like, are you like doing I know breath work to be like that kind of shit? No.

21:54SPEAKER_01:No, I was just like on like it was like getting massage, but it was more like it wasn't working out. Like, you know, uh what are they called?

22:02SPEAKER_00:Muscle knots and stuff.

22:03SPEAKER_01:Yeah, it wasn't that, it was all of this shit that was like trapped in you. So, like, I thought I had all of this shit buried way out in the middle of the fucking Atlantic. Like, you know, and what I found was it was like fucking right there. It was insane. Like this, this is the person you would have been, and this is the person you are, and then it kind of you can never fully do that because the shit that happened to you still happened to you, but like I I brought all my emotions back down to zero.

22:34SPEAKER_01:So now, like, if something pisses me off, like I started zero, and I don't go past like four anymore, and uh and then I and then I also I don't like it. I don't like feeling like that, and then I kind of bring it back down. But before I was just walking around like a seven, so everything, you know, where the fuck's my phone? Like it just immediately went to like it's like uh it's right here. Why did you just yell like someone was pointing a gun at you?

23:05SPEAKER_01:Like it was just like I was, yeah, I was like, you know, God bless my wife. Like she like wrote it out, and but she was the kind of my wife is the reason why I ended up um fixing myself finally because it just came to a head, but she was just like, dude, like I I I I can't, like I'm filled up with this shit. Like, so you need to figure this out. And you know, I love my wife, she's my the greatest thing that ever happened to me. So it's just like, all right, well, I can't fuck this up.

23:33SPEAKER_01:But then it was like it was really scary, like I because I didn't know where to go. It's I just whole thing kind of happened by accident. Um, well, I just ran into somebody and they just sort of came into my life and recommended it. And like I had this whole almost like a psychedelic trip um getting rid of all of this stuff. And I remember I talked to them and I was like going, like, yeah, I like you know, was sort of fighting it the first time, and the second time I sort of cried out my whole childhood and all this stuff, and I was like, you know, did that happen for you?

24:03SPEAKER_01:She was kind of like, no, I just kind of got a massage. But she's since gone back, and then like that happened. But like it was for her. Yeah.

24:12SPEAKER_00:Oh, funny.

24:14SPEAKER_01:But it was uh, yeah, like I I learned like, yeah, so much shit. Like you just think like as a guy, like, you know, if something's gonna make you cry, you just you make you make sure you don't, and then you think that like that that cry went away. And it's like, no, now it's in there and it's gonna come out in a different way, probably in a bad way, to somebody who doesn't doesn't deserve it. So that was uh something else that I learned.

24:45SPEAKER_00:Well, sadness is sadness is like so hard to feel.

24:51SPEAKER_01:Well, the way they raise boys to be men, I mean, it was like 99% of the shit you're not allowed to. That's how I figured it out. Because I was doing that movie, that social reckoning movie, and I had this scene that I had to do, and I was reading it, you know, it was like doing the lines um for this scene, and uh my character gets disappointed. So I was just playing the emotion of disappointed, and I and I got like choked up like I was at a funeral.

25:22SPEAKER_01:And like that's happened before. I'm like, why is that? And because what it is is like being disappointed is vulnerable. Anything vulnerable, you know, all those old school John Wayne dads, you know, they made you you know don't feel that. But like when you go to act, it's like these characters are feeling shit that I I locked away. So what happens is I go to go get it, and then like all this other shit comes out. So that's what I was kind of like going like, this is weird.

25:54SPEAKER_01:Like, oh, so this that that's why that that shit happens when I act, but not in my real life. Because in real life I have the door closed. You know, there's so many emotions I don't even know what they are. Like perturbed, I don't know what that is. It's an odd-sounding word, it's some sort of odd thing. But if I have to try to find that, like I gotta go into this shit and be like, or flabbergasted all of this shit. Like you're not allowed to be like, you can't, as a man, be flabbergasted around other men.

26:22SPEAKER_01:I mean, you just you just can't do it. But in in movies, you do this shit, so you gotta go get it, and then what happens is somebody beat the fuck out of you in 1974, you didn't cry, and then like it it like 50 years later, it it sees the light, like the door opens and it comes out. So it was just like, no, I was embarrassing. Like I just sit in this hotel room, I swear to God, like I cried for five minutes about and I didn't even know why. To get it out so I could do the scene the next day.

26:55SPEAKER_01:And that's when I was kind of like, all right, I'm pretty uh pretty fucked up, dude.

27:00SPEAKER_00:I would say honestly, like you're normal and healthy to have it happen at all. Because also you're like preventing heart disease by feeling the feelings now, which like a lot of people don't get to.

27:11SPEAKER_01:That's great to hear. Not Dr. Alanak when you pretty much. Where did you uh what what Instagram page did you get that from?

27:19SPEAKER_00:No, I'm just like, you know, then shit like builds up inside of you, you know? And you got that like elbowed the fuck out. Now it's flowing.

27:27SPEAKER_01:Oh yeah. No, it was like, yeah, she was just like, okay, the right side's your anger, the left side's your sadness. And I thought it was just this hippie dippy shit. She goes, all right, this is your liver, and went in. Oh my God. Like I was growling like a fucking dog, like it was nuts. But I got up off the table and she was like, You don't even look like yourself anymore. I said, I don't feel the same way. So, uh, and it was funny, like I was like really light.

27:53SPEAKER_01:And like I literally, I didn't lose my temper until there was the beginning of December. I didn't lose my temper once until like the middle of March. And then I felt bad, like almost like an alcoholic that stopped drinking. Then I took a drink, and then I realized I had it like, okay, well, the way you know you didn't validate perturbed, you know, now you you can't discount anger. Like there is stuff to get angry about, but you don't need to bring the 1970s, 80s, 90s, 2000s along with it.

28:22SPEAKER_01:Like you can just be mad about this and we can go up a little bit and then realize that okay, this is okay for the moment, but like if it continues to go, you're hurting people around you, you gotta bring this shit back down. So this is all this is all like brand new.

28:39SPEAKER_00:Had you gone to therapy, like a talk therapy ever?

28:42SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Yeah, I I, you know, on and off throughout the years. But like I got like frustrated and blamed therapy. Like this, but what it was, no, but what it was was I I was applying what I learned as a kid. So like if I started talking about something sad in therapy and I started to cry, I would just stop talking and stare at this mug until it went away, not realizing like, no, no, you need to get that out. I don't know. I just felt it was weird. That was also why, like, I could, you know, I I don't I would I just get like frustrated because I didn't know how to do that.

29:22SPEAKER_01:It was kind of funny, like acting kind of made me figure it out. Uh yeah, it's weird. It's weird being this guy right now.

29:32SPEAKER_00:I think you're doing a good job. I uh I go to psychoanalysis, which is three times a week. Contracts. Yeah. No kidding. No, it I think it does. It's like New York Jew thing. Three times a week. It's nuts.

29:46SPEAKER_01:Yeah, what happens to you guys? What is the neurotic?

29:51SPEAKER_00:I don't know.

29:51SPEAKER_01:It's like it seems like speci like this boozing with Irish Catholics and and then with Jewish people, this this I I don't really like. Um emotions are new to me. So neurotic is is it's a form of anxiety.

30:08SPEAKER_00:I hate neurotic. It's so gross and annoying.

30:11SPEAKER_01:Or is it overly like, you know, don't put this here because oh my god, this is my dream. Yeah, there's nervousness. Uh it's pretty good. It's pretty good. Yeah. Have you eaten yet?

30:22SPEAKER_00:I'm still on my fast. Oh, you were going to that gym. So we were on Broadway at the same time, and that's when we were like starting to really be friends. And you were working out, and I wasn't in my workout routine yet.

30:33SPEAKER_01:Uh-huh.

30:33SPEAKER_00:But I was like jealous.

30:36SPEAKER_01:Oh, well, I was also stress-eating, so I was just really just wearing out my joints. Oh, copy. I was just eating shit food and then working out to try to like maintain not becoming a total fat fuck, but like uh I know, but it seems like you got your shit, you got your like workout shit in place now. Oh, yeah, no, no. I I I really just sort of changed my diet. I did like the full, I'm an old dad, so I I get I just can't I can't die until they're out of college.

31:03SPEAKER_01:That's what I feel like. So uh so I somebody goes, Well, get the full body MRI. I go, I'm not fucking doing that. And he goes, Well, you know, don't you want to know? I'm like, no. Kind of into the drop and dead thing, you know. I don't want to like know what's coming. Then he, this person convinced me to do it, so I went. And it was so funny, like they do it, and it's just I got it done on a Tuesday. And they're like, okay, the doctor will do a Zoom call with you on like Thursday afternoon.

31:29SPEAKER_01:So I'm just sitting there and I'm waiting, I'm waiting like two days. It's just like, you mean so we get on the thing, he's like seven minutes late, I still remember. And he was just going, like, how are you? How's it going? Da-da-da-da-da. And hemming and hon and talking about the weather and blah, blah, blah. So he goes, All right, we're gonna start with your head. You know, you got a little uh extra tissue on your soft palate. Do you snore? Do you have any sleep?

31:53SPEAKER_01:He's doing this for like five minutes. I'm finally like, Doc, like, can we get to the tumors? Yeah. And he goes, Oh, you want to know about I go, yeah. Do I have any? Am I gonna die? He goes, No, no, you're you're good, you're good. And uh, but then he, you know, saw some things that he was just like, it's good, they can predict. So he just sort of changed my diet. And uh, I've been doing that. And like, you know, at my age, 58, it's kind of like eating and walking and stretching.

32:20SPEAKER_01:Because that other shit, like, you're just sort of like, okay, so you're okay, so you're a little more buff, but like you're wearing out your shoulders, you're gonna need a hip. I'm not into knee replacement and hip replacement shit.

32:32SPEAKER_00:But still weightlifting?

32:33SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I still do that. Like, yeah, you can't, like, I I still, but I don't like it's not, you know, push it up, more like none of that stuff. I I go more like lighter weight, high reps and stuff. Oh yeah. I kind of like the aging process, like like sort of like uh the worst thing is is not being your age. You know, like to be 58 and to try to want to be 28 or 31, it's just a recipe for failure and feeling bad about yourself. But like if you can just sort of like um, you know, I I feel like when I was younger, like, you know, women would go into elegant years and guys would go into this older gentleman thing, as opposed to still trying to be hot at 60.

33:20SPEAKER_01:Which just makes you look like a lizard person. Like it's just like like I kind of have this thing where it's like I am like, I don't know what's gonna happen to me, but at the end of this show business ride, I'm going to look like a person. Totally. And I don't have a problem, like, you know, I know it at the best I got at this point is you look good for your age, which I will 100% take. But like, I don't want to be like, uh, I remember one time my like, I'm so stupid.

33:47SPEAKER_01:My wife, like, she just picks up on everything. And I was like at this hotel pool, and there was all of these guys like my age, and they were just fucking yoked. Not like roid it out yoked, but fucking, I was going like, Jesus Christ, man, I go, these fucking guys that died so whatever. And Nia's like, she's like, Bill, they're on HGH, they're on testosterone, they're doing all of this stuff. And I'm like, is that no, like these guys were like, these are guys like my age, and they were like a problem.

34:13SPEAKER_01:Like, you should not be a problem at 58. You should be able to do it.

34:16SPEAKER_00:What do you mean a problem?

34:17SPEAKER_01:Like, I like I would not want to fight that guy.

34:19SPEAKER_00:Oh, copy that.

34:20SPEAKER_01:Like my whole life growing up, if you saw a 58-year-old guy, if you just pushed him like that, he would in the air, he would like tip over, you know, because they were drinking like highballs and eating steak, you know, whatever.

34:29SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.

34:29SPEAKER_01:But like to go from that to these guys going, like, yeah, dude, that guy looks like he could still fuck somebody up when he's almost 60.

34:36SPEAKER_02:Yeah.

34:36SPEAKER_01:And and here's the thing it is amazing that they figured out how to do that. But like it I've learned there's nothing, nothing's free in life.

34:44SPEAKER_02:That's right.

34:45SPEAKER_01:So if you're gonna look that fucking good and be that fucking jacked, it's like you gotta think like you know, you hear that, like it's it's enlargening your heart, and like eventually there's gonna be it fucks people's junk up.

34:59SPEAKER_00:You know, you're like always scanning the landscape of like what the fuck is going on, which I think is why audiences feel like they trust you and are like relieved to hear a sane fucking person who's not a robot or bought by like a company or whatever. But you said that you do have faith in people or something or hope for the world. And I'm not gonna hold you to that if you if your feelings changed today, but do you?

35:22SPEAKER_01:Yeah.

35:22SPEAKER_00:Yeah, why?

35:23SPEAKER_01:Because people don't want to be oppressed, people want to be free. So throughout history, these lizard people have always tried to figure out like it's not enough for them to have everything. They gotta make sure you're miserable too. Like it's it's it's literally like you know, the way I like doing stand-up, like they get off on oppressing people, and what happens is is they can only make you look at other shit for so long before everybody gets on the same page.

35:53SPEAKER_01:So um I just feel like we're gonna work our way out of this. But like what happened was is a generation stopped a war and then the press got a president impeached. But it was those two things. If you look at the history of this country, they the boomer generation stopped the Vietnam War, all the presidents' men impeached a president, and there was like this war where it was just like this is not gonna happen again. And then in the early 80s, they got they used to have rules of sevens about no one person can own any combination of seven radio stations, like newspapers, magazines, TV, because they realized you could control public opinion.

36:33SPEAKER_01:Well, you know, these guys with the money found the right politician, and I think the first one was Rupert Murdoch, was allowed to buy after buying the New York Post, was also allowed to have the Fox Network, which was illegal, and then it wasn't, which then opened the door to like the Ted Turner's which then created a need for the Fox News, and then like I mean like it's it's not news, it's just you know, oh you know, those blue tie people, those red tie people, and it's just getting people stirred up.

37:07SPEAKER_01:So what it the the the problem was is like we can't come together because they they they're manipulating us through just like these two ports, and um you know, it's it's it's like I remember before the pandemic, right when the pandemic happened, there was some guy who hoarded hand sanitizer. And they've been forever saying SARS is gonna get us and blah blah blah blah. And this guy, you know, he took a shot. Hey, maybe this this COVID shit is real, and he packed his whole garage full of hand sanitizer, and then people wanted it, and he jacked up the prices.

37:42SPEAKER_01:And they fucking tarred and feathered that guy because he was an individual and he was an easy guy to go after. Uh-huh. But meanwhile, like Big Pharmaceutical charges you like$640 for one leukemia pill. Yeah, and so they don't say shit to them because so it's like money kind of won, and they're doing this thing now where they got us all pitted against each other, and now they're watching all of us because they know eventually we're gonna figure it out.

38:09SPEAKER_01:And I also think that in the 1960s, why there's been no leaders is because they sent the clear message in the 1960s that black, white, male, female, whatever you are, if you try to bring people together, you know, conveniently, some crazy person is gonna come in and and and go after you, you know. So I I don't think that we've ever recovered from that. And um you combine that with how capitalism used to be regulated, it's now completely deregulated, and then that leads to all of these these uh monopolies and stuff.

38:47SPEAKER_01:But like everybody is getting fucked in the same way. That's the working person. And I so I feel like eventually we're gonna let go of this, you know, it's because of the liberals, it's because of the conservatives, it's because Mexicans are coming in illegally, eventually you're gonna be like, no, no, no.

39:04SPEAKER_00:Yep.

39:05SPEAKER_01:People are gonna stop and they're gonna look up at those people that like have these, you know, ridiculous, you know. And once again, like I don't have a problem with somebody making a billion dollars, but pay your employees.

39:16SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.

39:17SPEAKER_01:You know, don't take away 5,000 jobs and then make the people that are left do their job plus the 5,000 people that you fired, and then those 5,000 people that you fired, you take all their salaries as your yearly bonus for saving the company money. Like, shouldn't be able to do that. And I think eventually there'll be people that come along that talk that way, and we, you know, bring the water down to a simmer, we all get on the same page. And then I think there's plenty of non-violent ways that you can teach these lizard people how to be fucking human beings.

39:48SPEAKER_01:Um but like I don't know. I take peace in the fact that you you can only kill me once. You know, you just die once and then that's it.

39:57SPEAKER_00:Yeah, I love that.

39:58SPEAKER_01:Yeah.

39:58SPEAKER_00:That is hopeful.

39:59SPEAKER_01:Yeah, and I don't think You don't think you come back? No, and I don't think I think God made this place and left. He's just continuing, you know, he's got he's got other work to do.

40:08SPEAKER_00:Copy that.

40:09SPEAKER_01:So he's out of here. Everything has a beginning, a middle, and an end.

40:14SPEAKER_00:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I love that actually.

40:17SPEAKER_01:Like this podcast.

40:18SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's over. Thanks, Bill Burr. Thank you. Oh, that was so great. Love him. Such a privilege and a pleasure to have Bill Burr on this show. Um, thanks so much for joining us today. This has been a totally human-made production. This has been a Starfix production. I want to thank my creative producers, Annika Carlson, David Brooklyn. I want to thank Tovy Voice, our editor. Um, I want to thank the Brain Trust, Glennis Mahar, Kelsey Kylie, Madeline Kim.

40:51SPEAKER_00:I want to thank Ramo Ventura, who made the graphics and the opening musical sting, and Don Her, the band. That's Ellie Glazer, Jimmy Hines, Derek Muro from Smithtown Long Island. Fun fact they're named Don Her because that's how you say Donna on Long Island. Don Her. Listen, if you like this show, like and subscribe and comment, share, whatever. It really makes a difference in our ability to be able to make this show. And I'm so thrilled to be back.

41:16SPEAKER_00:Um, thanks for joining us and looking forward to seeing you next time. Bye.