Podcast · Health

mind you

by Charlotte Cummings · English · Health

Helping people build lives that feel good

New episodes: Weekly
Typical length: 34 min
Latest: 11 Oct 2026
Language: English

Latest episode

11 Oct 2026 · 34 min

When One Of You Changes

When one person changes, the relationship can feel like it’s suddenly playing by new rules. If you’re growing in a different direction from your partner, Charlotte Cummings offers practical ways to reconnect without asking either of you to become someone you’re not. A shift in career, faith, sobriety, personal growth, boundaries, or even your understanding of yourself can move the goalposts for both partners. Charlotte explores why these changes can unsettle a relationship - and how couples can make room for who they’re becoming. You’ll discover how to stay connected to each other’s inner…

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Earlier episodes 29 most recent

4 Oct 2026 · 31 min
Dress Like You Trust Yourself - with Deb Caldwell
What would change if you stopped dressing for other people? Deb Caldwell has built STORM on trusting her gut for 20 years, and I think her approach works just as well for your life as it does for your wardrobe. Deb is the founder and creative director of STORM, and she knows what it means to stay in your lane and trust that your people will find you. We talk about why trying to please everyone means losing what makes you different, why she doesn't believe balance exists, and what she hears women say in fitting rooms every single day. Spoiler: nobody is looking at your arms. We also get…
27 Sep 2026 · 53 min
Showing Up Before You Feel Ready - Toni Street
Broadcaster Toni Street on public speaking nerves, confident communication, burnout and starting counselling for the first time in her life. Toni is one of New Zealand's most loved broadcasters. She's been on our screens and radios for 20 years and has hosted New Zealander of the Year for 12. And for a long time, she still broke into a cold sweat every time she had to speak. We talk about how to speak with confidence when every part of you wants to say no. Why people are judging you anyway, so you may as well put your hand up. Why waiting to feel 100% ready keeps capable people stuck while…
20 Sep 2026 · 35 min
Your Worth Isn't Up For Debate
Where do you get your sense of worth from? Most of us default to two answers: what we achieve, or what other people think of us. Neither holds up long term. In this episode I talk about non-contingent self-worth, the kind that doesn't move when your circumstances do. I see this come up constantly with clients, in burnout, in people-pleasing, even in addiction and infidelity. It always traces back to the same question: where does my value actually come from? Part of the answer is simple. You have value just for being human. Full stop. It has nothing to do with your achievements or what other…
13 Sep 2026 · 34 min
When Your Relationship Has ADHD
I don't think ADHD belongs to one person in a relationship. I think the relationship has ADHD. This week I'm unpacking what happens when ADHD (diagnosed early, diagnosed late, or still unnamed) shows up in a partnership, and why it affects both people, not just the one who has it. I talk about the emotional weight that comes with a late diagnosis, why rejection sensitive dysphoria is so common, and how understanding your unbearable feeling changes everything. I also share the practical stuff. Why I statements can backfire, how body doubling works, using AI to depersonalise decisions,…
6 Sep 2026 · 53 min
The Truth About Decluttering
I suddenly kept seeing my friends posting photos of their drawers and pantries, tagging The Home Edit and Mel Robbins. So I sat down and listened to the episode that started this decluttering frenzy. I came away furious, and worried for every overloaded woman hearing it - especially, the neurodivergent ones. My guest is Carrie from Curate Home NZ, a professional declutterer and home organiser who specialises in working with neurodivergent households. We both like Mel Robbins. We both like The Home Edit. What we don't like is telling an already overloaded woman that decluttering is simple,…
30 Aug 2026 · 43 min
Beyond Another Trauma: Naomi's Story
What if the hardest thing that's ever happened to you didn't have to be another trauma? In this episode I'm joined by one of my own clients, Naomi, who shares her deeply personal story of discovering she carries the BRCA1 gene mutation - testing she undertook in her 40s, in light of her Mum sadly passing away with cancer at age 47. We talk about her decision to undergo preventative surgery, learning to disappoint people without guilt, navigating years of secondary infertility, and finding an unexpected sense of empowerment through one of the hardest seasons of her life. Naomi opens up about…
23 Aug 2026 · 25 min
The Therapy Concept I've Never Shared
There's a concept I use with many of my clients, and I've never actually spoken about it on this podcast until now. It's called preferred futures, a concept from narrative therapy. It's about getting clear on two things: where your life is actually headed if nothing changes, and where it could go if you make the changes you've been thinking about. In this episode I walk through exactly how I use this with clients, including: getting honest about where you're headed if nothing changes how this clarity can help you how to build a clear picture of the future you actually want the stories you're…
16 Aug 2026 · 24 min
Communicate Confidently At Work
Do you ever know exactly what you want to say at work - but find yourself second-guessing it, softening it, or waiting for the “right” moment to speak? Communicating confidently at work isn't just about having a strong voice or being the loudest person in the room. It's about knowing your value, understanding what gets in the way of speaking up, and learning to contribute without constantly questioning yourself. In this episode of Mind You , I explore the patterns that can make workplace communication harder than it needs to be - particularly for women. She looks at the social expectations…
9 Aug 2026 · 1 hr 8 min
Stanley Henry: Don't Limp In
For many of us, we have to tolerate more attention than we'd naturally like, and it's scary as heck. Our jobs require it. Our goals require it. And the freedom we actually want is sitting on the other side of learning to cope with being seen. Stanley Henry from Attn Seeker joins me to unpack the psychology of visibility, personal branding, and why attention might be one of the last assets you can still build from nothing. He also shares what it takes to do relationships well when you're a high-functioning person juggling a business, a brand, and a full life - proof that success and a strong…
2 Aug 2026 · 1 hr 12 min
Petra Bagust: Why Mid-life Is The Good Bit
I sat down with Petra Bagust - honestly, she is the best ad for midlife. Through this chat, Petra gives us all the wonderful reasons why midlife is the good bit. We talk about her ADHD diagnosis, which came after her son's, and the months she spent grieving every theory she'd built to explain herself before that. We get into what actually shifts once you understand your own brain, the difference between legitimising yourself and needing someone else's permission, and the "manic and panic" cycle that used to run her days. Then there's menopause, without any of the doom and gloom. Petra's…
26 Jul 2026 · 1 hr 1 min
Grief, Surrender and Getting On With It, with Janelle Brunton-Rennie
Janelle Brunton-Rennie became a widow within a year of her husband Kurt first finding a lump. She had a newborn baby at home, and no warning that losing her spouse to cancer was about to unravel her whole life. New Zealanders who've followed Janelle's story over the years will know pieces of this. In this episode, she courageously takes us back to all of it, and beyond. The hospital corridor where a doctor asked if her husband had a will. The anger that nobody tells you is part of grief, and the gym sessions that became her only outlet for it. The small rituals, sunrise, espresso, stillness,…
21 Jun 2026 · 46 min
She Kept Going Until She Couldn't
Amy Luttrell lost her Dad suddenly at 32, with a newborn at home and a thriving wellness business to run. Eleven months later, her Stepfather died and her Mum nearly did too. She kept functioning. She kept showing up. And then her body said enough. In this episode, Amy gets completely honest about what it looks like when a high-achieving woman hits actual rock bottom - the shame of feeling broken while being the person others come to for wellness, the marriage hanging on, and the moment when she thought life would be easier if she wasn't around. She also talks about what brought her back,…
14 Jun 2026 · 38 min
When Church Hurts: Spiritual Abuse Explained
Spiritual abuse is one of the most misunderstood forms of harm there is. And it might be exactly what you've been trying to name. In this episode, I'm getting into a topic I know many of you have been waiting for. After my episode on "when faith gets messy" became one of my most downloaded ever, I knew we needed to go deeper. So today we're talking about spiritual abuse: what it actually is, what it looks and feels like from the inside, and what healing can look like on the other side. This is a topic I come at from multiple angles. I'm currently completing my PhD in sociology, researching…
7 Jun 2026 · 18 min
Have Fun Together Again
Is your relationship feeling a little flat? Like you used to laugh more, go on proper dates, and actually enjoy each other's company, but somewhere along the way life just got in the way? In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm answering a listener question that I hear all the time: how do we have more fun in our relationship? I cover: Why fun doesn't just happen and what to do about it How to figure out what you both actually enjoy (and why one person's preferences might be quietly dominating) The alphabet dating idea my husband and I used early on (and why I think we need to revisit it) Why…
31 May 2026 · 53 min
Parenting When You're Over It - With Zazi
Some days you just hit the wall. The noise, the need, the relentlessness of it. You love your kids and you are completely done. This episode is for you. I'm joined by Zazi, a speech and language therapist, child development expert, MMA fighter, and mum who gets it. Zazi has built a community of parents who are done pretending they've got it all together, and she brings the kind of practical, no-guilt wisdom that actually helps. We go deep on why overwhelm isn't a character flaw. It's a nervous system response. Why your child melting down after school isn't bad behaviour. Why so many women…
24 May 2026 · 11 min
Feeling Off? Here's What To Do Next
Do you feel off but can't explain why? Flat, disengaged, not quite yourself but you don't know where to start? In this episode of Ask Charlotte, I'm responding to a listener who's feeling flat and disconnected, and walking you through exactly where to begin when something just doesn't feel right. I break down a practical, no-fluff framework for understanding why you feel off and what to actually do about it. In this episode I cover: Why feeling flat and disengaged is information, not a flaw How to check your physical wellbeing first (sleep, nutrition, movement, blood work) The role of…
17 May 2026 · 21 min
Close Your Confidence Gap
Do you look capable on the outside but feel held back by self-doubt on the inside? You're not alone, and you're not failing. You might just be living with a confidence gap. In this episode, I'm digging into one of the most common and costly patterns I see in high-functioning women: being far more capable than you believe yourself to be. Research shows women tend to underrate their competence, wait until they feel 120% ready before going for opportunities, and carry a five-year lag in their professional self-concept. The result? Missed promotions, missed pay, and a life lived smaller than it…
15 May 2026 · 13 min
BONUS EPISODE: A Self-Hypnosis Exercise To Re-set Your Nervous System
In this bonus episode, clinical hypnotherapist Bec Marshall guides a short self-hypnosis exercise to help you reduce stress, ease anxiety, and settle into a calm, resourceful state. This exercise is a portable practice you can return to anytime you need to come back to yourself. For the full conversation on hypnotherapy, the subconscious mind, and how we can rewire stress patterns, listen to the full conversation with Bec. Bec would also like to acknowledge her mentor, Tracey, whose work shaped this exercise. Please listen somewhere safe and still.
10 May 2026 · 56 min
Wisdom From A Hypnotherapist
What if the heaviness you're carrying isn't a personality trait — it's your nervous system asking for something different? Clinical hypnotherapist Bec Marshall joins Charlotte to unpack hypnotherapy, the fawn response, functional freeze, and how high-functioning women can start feeling safe in their own bodies again. If you've been pushing through, performing capable, and quietly wondering why everything feels heavier than it should, this episode of The Feel Better Podcast is for you. Bec is a clinical hypnotherapist, trainer and nervous system educator with a rare gift for making the…
3 May 2026 · 25 min
How To Talk To Kids About War
If you’ve been wondering how to talk to your kids about war… you’re not alone. With global conflict dominating headlines, many parents are finding themselves having conversations they never expected to have. Conversations about safety, fear, and what’s happening in the world. In this episode, I walk you through how to talk to children about war in a way that keeps them feeling safe, informed, and emotionally steady . You’ll learn: What to say (and what not to say) to kids about war How to manage your child’s fear and anxiety Why “safety first” is the most important starting point How to…
26 Apr 2026 · 13 min
You Hate Routine. Now What?
You want to look after yourself better… but you hate routine. So every time you try to “get your life together,” it lasts about five days. Then you’re back to square one, telling yourself you’re the problem. You’re not. In this Ask Charlotte episode, I’m breaking down why the way we talk about consistency is actually setting a lot of people up to fail and what to do instead. We cover: Why you don’t need strict routines to take care of yourself The difference between consistency and repetition How to use “bursts,” themes, and menus instead of rigid habits The real reason you’re struggling to…
19 Apr 2026 · 13 min
Your Relationship Isn't Broken. Your Pattern Is
You don’t have a relationship problem. You have a pattern problem . And until you see it, nothing changes. In this Ask Charlotte episode, we’re unpacking the uncomfortable truth most couples avoid: it’s not just them… and it’s not just you either. It’s the dynamic you’re both creating. If you’ve been: Stuck in the same argument on repeat Noticing everything your partner does wrong Wondering how to take responsibility without blaming yourself Trying to “fix” the relationship by analysing them This episode will shift how you see everything. We cover: Why blame keeps you stuck (and shame isn’t…
12 Apr 2026 · 46 min
You’re Playing Small. You Know It
You’re playing small. And if you’re honest… you already know it. In this episode of The Feel Better Podcast , I sit down with Georgia from George Design to talk about what it really takes to stop holding yourself back and start backing yourself. Georgia is the founder of George Design, working with businesses to clarify their brand, grow their visibility, and make smarter, braver decisions. You can find her at georgedesign.co.nz . This is a conversation for the woman who: knows she’s capable of more has ideas she’s not acting on keeps waiting until she feels “ready” We get into: why…
5 Apr 2026 · 30 min
Your Hyper-Independence Is Costing You
You’re the one who gets it done. The capable one. The reliable one. The strong one. But what if that version of youis quietly costing you more than you realise? In this episode, we’re unpacking hyper-independence the pattern that looks like strength… but is often driven by fear, control, and past experiences. If you: find it hard to ask for help feel like it’s easier to just do it yourself get frustrated when others don’t step up struggle to switch off or truly rest feel secretly overwhelmed, disconnected, or resentful this episode will hit close to home. We explore: what…
29 Mar 2026 · 49 min
Lost Yourself in Motherhood? Start Here
You can love your kids deeply… and still feel like you’ve lost yourself. HannaH Findlay is a Mum who has inspired many others with the beauty she has found in pulling herself through some of the toughest parts of becoming a parent. We talk about what happens to your identity in motherhood. The version where your body changes. Your mental health takes a hit. Your interests disappear. And one day you realise… you don’t actually know what you like anymore. We talk about: why so many women feel lost after having kids the mental load and “holding your breath all day” feeling how anxiety and…
22 Mar 2026 · 12 min
You Want More. They Don't
You want more connection. They don’t. And now you’re stuck in that quiet, painful in-between… where you’re in a relationship, but still feeling alone. In this Ask Charlotte episode, I’m unpacking one of the most common (and confronting) dynamics I see in counselling: when one partner wants emotional connection, depth, and intimacy… and the other just doesn’t meet them there. We’re talking about: why this happens (and what’s actually underneath it) the difference between a skill gap vs a willingness gap how to communicate your need for connection without pushing them further away what might…
15 Mar 2026 · 29 min
You Can't Hate Yourself Into Change
Many of us believe that being tough on ourselves is the way to change. We think that if we criticise ourselves enough, push harder, or feel bad enough about our behaviour, we’ll finally become the person we want to be. But in my experience as a counsellor, the opposite is true. In this episode of the Feel Better Podcast , I’m talking about self-criticism and why it actually makes lasting change harder , not easier. I explain what happens in your brain when you shame or blame yourself and why that activates your threat response rather than the parts of your brain responsible for reflection,…
8 Mar 2026 · 58 min
The Women's Health Chat You Need
I'm kind of sick of the doom and gloom chat's about perimenopause, so I decided I'd find someone I could ask this question of: "What is good about perimenopause?" Enter Amelia Stafford - an amazing women's health expert who knows her stuff when it comes to hormones and nutrition and the realities of making our health a priority in our busy lives. This is such a refreshing chat! We talk about: - What she eats (the question I just so often wish people cut to with health gurus!) - What she's enjoying about her 40s - Perimenopause - Vaginal health - Periods - Kids - Busy life Amelia is an…
1 Mar 2026 · 27 min
How to Stop Overthinking
If you struggle with overthinking, this episode is for you. Maybe your brain replays conversations on a loop. Maybe you catastrophise about the future. Maybe decision-making feels exhausting because you’ve already run 47 scenarios in your head. Overthinking is incredibly common. Research suggests up to 80% of our thoughts are negative and 95% are repetitive. That means most of us are swimming in the same mental loops on repeat. In this episode, I break down: • What overthinking actually is (and how it’s different from healthy reflection) • The two main types: rumination and worry • Why…

About mind you

Helping people build lives that feel good

mind you is a English health podcast from Charlotte Cummings. Melo plays each episode straight from the publisher's own feed — no ads added, no account needed — and remembers where you stopped, in this browser only.

Publisher: Charlotte Cummings
Language: English
Category: Health
New episodes: Weekly
Typical length: 34 min
Latest episode: 11 Oct 2026
Feed: RSS — paste into any podcast app
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1726145606
Rights: Charlotte Cummings

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