The Gap Trap!

More from Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast All episodes →

1. 

   S33 · E6 · 24 Sep 2026 · 25 min

   The “Fine” Mask

   You say it a dozen times a day. Somebody asks how you're doing, and before you've had a chance to check, you've already said you're … fine . In this conversation, we pick up a thread from our earlier episode with Dr. Sharon Saline on masking and follow it somewhere much smaller. Not the protective mask you choose in a hard moment, but the everyday one that's been on so long you've lost the off switch. We talk about what the gap between the performance and the truth actually costs you in energy and loneliness, why nobody offers help to someone who looks fine, and what happens when you say it…

2. 

   S33 · E5 · 17 Sep 2026 · 41 min

   Approach Motivation, Round Two with Ari Tuckman, PsyD

   Are you doing the thing because of what you'll get, or because of what you're afraid of? Both get the task done. Only one of them is sustainable. This week, Dr. Ari Tuckman returns to talk about approach and avoidance, and why so many of us have only ever learned to start the second engine. We get into why avoidance works just well enough to become a habit, why "not as bad" is a ceiling rather than a goal, and what actually changes in a life that runs more on what you're moving toward. Along the way: the difference between shame and embarrassment and why it matters more than it sounds, what…

3. 

   S33 · E4 · 10 Sep 2026 · 42 min

   Misattunement: The Through-Line of ADHD Relationships with Dr. Dodge Rea

   Last time Dr. Dodge Rea was here, we set up a conversation in two parts and only got through one of them. This week we finish it, and the half we left hanging turns out to be the trickier one. What happens when the person you're most out of sync with is yourself ? Attunement asks you to stay in touch with another person while staying intact with yourself, both at once. Most of us are better at one than the other. For a lot of us with ADHD, the outward half arrives early and never leaves. We got good at reading other people young, and never got the same practice on ourselves. So we say yes to…

4. 

   S33 · E3 · 3 Sep 2026 · 34 min

   What Recovery Actually Looks Like (Beyond Sleep)

   Rest, relaxation, recuperation. Three words we reach for when we're empty, and all three have collapsed into the same meaning: stop doing something. The older meanings point somewhere far more interesting, toward getting strength back rather than simply halting some energetic drain. This week, Pete walks Nikki through research from occupational psychology that helps explain a frustrating experience most ADHDers likely know well: taking the time off and still coming back exhausted. There are four distinct kinds of recovery, they don't substitute for each other, and picking the wrong one is…

5. 

   S33 · E2 · 27 Aug 2026 · 32 min

   The “But I Have To…” Trap

   You look at the list. You look at the calendar. You already know there isn't enough day for what's on there, and somehow the first thing out of your mouth is still "but I have to." In this conversation, Nikki and Pete follow last week's capacity conversation down to the reflex underneath it. Where does the have-to feeling come from, what is it trying to protect, and what changes when you stop treating every task as though it weighs the same? They get into the five D's from Casey Dixon, why Pete has fallen hard for the one called disappoint, and the difference between deferring something and…

6. 

   S32 · E29 · 13 Aug 2026 · 35 min

   A Revisit: Breaking Down an ADHD Challenge

   We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. In this one, Pete and Nikki put on their detective hats to break down an ADHD challenge. The idea is simple. "I can't focus" or "I can't follow through" is too big and vague to solve, so the episode is about investigating what's actually getting in your way and finding the specific roadblock underneath. There's a memorable South Park metaphor involved, plus a practical, low-pressure approach to trying one strategy at a time and keeping track of what works. An encouraging, useful listen,…

7. 

   S32 · E28 · 6 Aug 2026 · 36 min

   A Revisit: Change Your Vocabulary, Change Your Mindset

   We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. In this one, Pete and Nikki dig into the words we use and how much they shape the way we see ourselves. Working from Alicia Dunams' book I Get To, Nikki walks through a few simple language shifts that hit differently when you have ADHD, from "I have to" versus "I get to" to catching the negative "what ifs." They also get into the power of the pause and staying curious instead of judgmental. It's an encouraging, practical listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip. Links &…

8. 

   S32 · E27 · 30 Jul 2026 · 26 min

   A Revisit: Celebrating What We Do

   We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. The idea takes after Dr. Kurosh Dini's concept of the visit, showing up to something with curiosity rather than judgment. In this one, Pete and Nikki talk about celebrating what you get done, and why so many people with ADHD give themselves almost no credit for it. They flip the usual deficit thinking on its head, dig into some very practical self-compassion, and share a simple exercise you can start tonight. It's an encouraging listen, whether it's your first time or a return trip.…

9. 

   S32 · E26 · 23 Jul 2026 · 47 min

   A Revisit: Attacking the Gremlins with Jane Massengill

   We're on summer break, so this week is a Revisit: a favorite conversation pulled back out of the archive. The idea takes after Dr. Kurosh Dini's concept of the visit, showing up to something with curiosity rather than judgment. In this one, we talk with coach Jane Massengill about the negative self-talk that so many people with ADHD carry, why it can run louder for us, and a simple practice she calls word watching for catching it in the moment. It's a warm, useful conversation about learning to be kinder to yourself. Whether it's your first listen or a return trip, it's worth your time.…

10. 

    S32 · E25 · 9 Jul 2026 · 28 min

    How to Notice Progress Without Measuring It

    At the end of the day, when your brain starts tallying everything you didn't finish, where's the credit for everything you did? In the Season 32 finale, we close out the season on the quiet skill that gets buried under all that mental accounting — noticing your progress instead of measuring it. The unfinished stuff is loud: the laundry pile, the twenty-item list, the messages still waiting. The progress is silent, and a lifetime of report cards and performance reviews has trained us to see only what's left. We get into why that happens — with a detour through a 1927 psychology experiment…