Episode notes
You are the life of your elders. They go to bed thinking about you. Give them a call. Share your life. Without it, they won’t have one. Guest voices: John Moreno, Betsy Winchester Invocation Dismissals Liturgical Reading: Howard Closing Statements Um, come back ok? Please? The Story is so LONELY without you. You have to PROMISE. Meet the Story here in two weeks you HAVE to. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
Podcast
The Story Must Be Told
The Last Podcast Network · Arts & Books · English
Surreal fiction anthology, framed as a church service. Join Brother Reid, Pastor Andrew, and Sister Callista as we worship the Story. Behold the handsomely produced tales of dark humor, freakish sci-fi, and oddly touching literary horror. Hear our greasy prayers! Delight in our healthy psalms, uh hu
More from The Story Must Be Told All episodes →
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8 Nov 2022 · 33 min
159. Rakija
There are photos of you lost in a drawer, floating in a liminal space, waiting to be seen. You will recognize the face but not the scene, know your age but not the year. Our past is a secret; it is better to pray for loss than for revelation. Invocation Brother Reid’s Big News Liturgical Reading: Rakija Departure Come back in two weeks, and witness our big meeting with Mr. P. P. Brothers! Gosh, maybe we’ll MAKE IT BIG. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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22 Oct 2022 · 37 min
158. Miss Paker’s Cats - Guest Preacher Julie Rosing
Curiosity killed no cat—it was POISON. That rotten child, that BOY did it. His face is every child’s face Miss Paker will see, as she instructs the children in the Truth of her Lord. Guest Preacher: Julie Rosing (www.ineedana.com) Invocation Children’s Awards Liturgical Reading: Miss Paker’s Cats Closing, Disrobing Fourteen days are required for the Story to regenerate and birth again. Check in and cherish what we spew for youuuu nexxxttttt POSTER: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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5 Oct 2022 · 40 min
157. An Intruder Invoked - Guest Preacher Marcus Parks
An Intruder has intruded upon the livestock, a malefactor produced by dining on death. Yearn for it. Search the brains for its presence, not unlike a gold panner. Yup, real gooey labor, but rewarding. Guest Preacher: Marcus Parks (Last Podcast on the Left, No Dogs in Space) Invocation Petitions for Patreon Congregants True Liturgical Reading: An Intruder Invoked Closing, Disrobing In two weeks we will come again to deliver you another profound truth! Or some weird shit. Either/or! POSTER: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt…
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13 Sep 2022 · 36 min
156. It Was A Monday...
It is vital while listening to this Story to not get sidetracked, lost in the details, or thrown off course from your original aim. To amble, disengage focus, or, in other words, become distracted. No! Pay attention! Lest you forget the reason you began to begin with, from the beginning, until the end of where the beginning began. A Seance Profound Liturgical Reading: It Was A Monday Morning When Arthur Kurtz Came To The Terrible Realization He'd Lost Track Of Time, Making His Day Far More Difficult Than Expected Revelation Two weeks until the Story finds you DISTRACTED ohhh what did we tell…
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6 Sep 2022 · 29 min
155. Peter Robot Saves Wendy's - Guest Preacher Holden McNeely
BIG SCIENCE NEWS: scientists created the ANNOYING ROBOT beep boop! Uhhh knock knock, who’s there? It’s the future of ROBOT. Look out, because an annoying robot can do what no robot could do before: manage a thriving fast food chain OK??? Guest Preacher: Holden McNeely (Wizard and the Bruiser & Page 7 podcasts, twitch.tv/holdenatorsho) The Clergy’s Wendy’s Order Liturgical Reading: Peter Robot Saves Wendy’s Consumption The next Story is out NEXT WEEK so we stay on DANG schedule OK??? MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BROTHER REID ART: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ReidFarts BOOKS:…
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2 Aug 2022 · 18 min
153. I'm A Bustling Beehive
Lotions, candles, and hand sanitizers: turn me into these when I die. I gotta BASK in seasonal scents, and if you give me a sales event? Ohhh you can digest me in your mechanical colon for a WEEK, dear overlord. Become a part of the loving corporate body! Invocation Pastor Andrew’s Coerced Testimony Liturgical Reading: I’m a Bustling Beehive Closing Statements The Story resumes its truth in two weeks. Will you be there to witness? Your answer: YES. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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22 Jul 2022 · 28 min
152. The Anxiolytic
Are you n-n-n-nervous? Does it prevent you from serving our glorious economy? For SHAME! Remember this one truth: all mental health is secondary to the will of the oligarchs, ok???? Invocation Liturgical Reading: The Anxiolytic Further Fractures The Story has a HOT sniff of you, and it can now find you wherever you live. Expect its knock in two weeks! MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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8 Jul 2022 · 33 min
151. Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay
Meiosis is the process by which cells cut themselves in half to make halfling children wriggling alone in the dark incomplete forever. A farming accident is the process by which Sal lost his danglin’ nuts. Learn how the two are CONNECTED. Invocation Petitions for the Newly Greastised Liturgical Reading: Two Testicles in the Indiana Clay Conclusions You will always seek the Story, and in two weeks, your efforts will yield F-F-F-FRUIT. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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24 Jun 2022 · 39 min
150. The Inevitability of Death
Lay down in the dirt and take a lil nap called DEATH. Yep! The Story is here to tell you: ain’t no one gonna stay alive forever except a few jellyfish. Accept your demise and send your memories to hell, uh huh. Invocation Petitions for Patreon Congregants Liturgical Reading: The Inevitability of Death Closing Apologies The Story will find you again in two weeks and you can’t even STOP it. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/tsmbt
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26 May 2022 · 31 min
149. Warmth and Dissolution - Guest Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski
In their masses, human beings amplify emotion until the smallest sensations become shared, tangible links. But we are floating alone in the void and cannot remember touch. Recall human contact and become confused! Guest: Chaplain Jackie Zebrowski (Page 7 podcast, IG: @jackthatworm) Invocation Robot Liturgical Reading: Warmth and Dissolution Closing Statements In two weeks more Story is gonna pull up to your orb and demand entry. GRANT. IT. MERCH: http://BabyNeedsDaddy.com BOOKS: http://thestorymustbetold.com LIVE SHOW: https://www.axs.com/events/430541/last-podcast-on-the-left-tickets…
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