For When You Have Morning Anxiety

0:00Speaker 1:We have people to see. We have energy to bring. We have lives to live. And I absolutely refuse. I refuse to let anxiety be the first voice that gets to define my day. And I want you guys to refuse too. Welcome to A Really Good Cry podcast. A Really Good Cry is here to help you understand your body, feel confident in your skin, manage your emotions, and take back control of your health. Because growth doesn't always start with answers. Sometimes it starts with a really good cry. Hi, my sweet little anxious beans. Welcome back to A Really Good Cry. If you clicked on this episode, it means that you're struggling at the moment. And to be honest, so am I. You might be having anxious moments, anxious days, anxious months. And sometimes that can end up feeling like your whole life is just anxiety. I feel like Dochi really got it when she made a whole song about it.

1:17Speaker 1:It's been playing in my head constantly. But my morning anxiety has really been showing up. And honestly, I do not want to be living like that. Day in, day out. It's so exhausting and it ends up impacting my whole entire day sometimes. My relationships, my interactions, my work, my focus. And I'm not going to lie to you. Lately, there has been so many things in my head that have got me feeling quite uncertain in life. And I don't like uncertain. It makes me feel really uncomfortable. And I think the inability to cope with uncertainty is partly where anxiety starts. It's the lack of control, the lack of certainty in life. We like to know what's going to happen.

1:57Speaker 1:And the sad thing is, most of the time in life, that doesn't happen. Sometimes I even end up sleeping in anxiety. I feel like my subconscious is is on overdrive, thinking, dreaming, planning, fixing, thinking about the future that I cannot control. And I end up having the weirdest dreams ever. And then when I come back into consciousness, when I wake up, it's like a surge, a sudden influx of everything all at once. I have a knot in my stomach. My chest is so tight. My hunger is absolutely gone, which, as I'm sure you can imagine, is not normal for me at all.

2:32Speaker 1:But it's just this heaviness. It's a low hum of dread that you really can't sometimes put it to anything specific, but it's there and it is not going away. And it's so interesting because usually when you end up waking up, there's a moment between sleep and waking up, you know, that kind of sweet moment where you get to come into consciousness where you end up being able to notice that oh I'm waking up but when it comes to anxiety you literally wake up and your body is on overdrive everything floods in and the sad thing is I am such a morning person it's literally my favorite time of the day mornings are actually so sacred to me they feel fresh they feel like a reset at least that's how it used to feel until I started getting this and anxiety was really starting to ruin that for me ruining my experience and my excitement for the morning.

3:24Speaker 1:So I knew that I really needed to find a way to reclaim my mornings, to put anxiety back in its place. And that place is not going to be in my body or mind or in yours, because we have work to do. We have people to see, we have energy to bring, we have lives to live. And I absolutely refuse, I refuse to let anxiety be the first voice that gets to define my day. And I want you guys to refuse too. But also, I want us to find ways to work through that feeling so it doesn't impact the rest of our precious days. Because every moment is so important. We get only a certain amount of days in our life. And I don't want to get to a year down the line, two years, three years, four years, where this feeling has started making me feel debilitated in carrying out my life how I want to. And I don't want that for you either.

4:11Speaker 1:And so if you can relate to this, I'm assuming you can because you've clicked on this episode. First of all, I just want to say I'm really sorry that you're going through whatever it is you're going through. I know, I really know how extremely unmanageable it can feel and how overwhelming it is. Anxiety can feel so powerful in the moment, but it is still just a state. It can move, it can soften, and it can definitely pass. And with time and practice and support, I really think your mind and body can learn this new way to just feel safe. The thing is, I don't know about you, but when I'm anxious... I end up treating all my thoughts like they're truth. I end up thinking because I feel afraid, that must mean that there's something to fear.

4:49Speaker 1:But we really can't mistake anxiety for intuition because sometimes it's just a tired nervous system or a really fearful mind or an old wound or a body that has just been running on stress for far too long. And the problem is that it gets to you before anything else gets a chance to, before you've had your moment to connect with God, before you've had a moment to connect your breath, before you've had a chance to even remember that you are an absolute gangster. The mind just starts worshipping all the problems in life. And so if fear ends up being the first thing that you end up feeling in the morning, it just keeps growing. If you start your day by entertaining a conversation in your mind of every possible worst case scenario, of course your body is going to end up feeling unsafe. You've basically opened the door and invited fear to live inside of you and then giving it fuel to survive throughout the day.

5:35Speaker 1:Of course, it's comfortable and it doesn't feel like it's going to go anywhere. So I like to think about it in this way. When you end up hosting a parasite in your body, what do you have to do? You have to starve it. You have to cleanse it. And with anxiety, I think starving it means becoming really honest about what gives it power. Anxiety grows every single time we enter back into the loop. Every time we check again or replay again or ask again, Google it again, chat GPT it, we try to predict everything and try to control it. And it convinces us that the next answer will finally calm us down. But that relief is always temporary. I know because I've done that. Anxiety isn't really asking for information. It's asking for certainty. And unfortunately, certainty is a thing that life can absolutely never give us.

6:19Speaker 1:So the practice becomes learning how to stop feeding the part of the mind that only knows how to survive through control. So what does that look like? It means you pause before you check. You breathe before you end up reacting. You let the thought be there without building a whole case around it. And you bring yourself back into your body, into the room that you're in, into the day that's right in front of you instead of the past that's already been or the future that doesn't exist yet. And to be honest, for me, when I started doing this process, at first, my anxiety ended up getting much louder because your mind ends up being so used to being obeyed. But every time that you choose presence over panicking, something in you learns and you create a new pathway in your brain that I can feel fear and still stay with myself. That is how you end up starving anxiety. You give less energy to the loop that you're used to going in and more energy to the life that actually exists in front of you.

7:09Speaker 1:So whenever you start to feel this anxiety when you wake up and your body is screaming at you when you do not feel like you can get up, this is what you have to remind yourself of. You got up yesterday. That's a fact. You got up last week. That's also a fact. You've been through this and you can do it again every single day. And this is something that you can say to yourself. I may not feel it, but I am safe right now. I can get through this moment. This feeling is so intense, but it is not in charge of me. And I will not let it take over me right now, not take charge of my day or my life. And that is that.

7:40Speaker 1:And I think when you start creating those thoughts before, even if those thoughts flood in, the negative thoughts, the anxious thoughts, if you have somewhere where you are keeping this information, where you are reading it, maybe it's a paper next to your bed, you are reminding yourself every single day, even if these things happen, that you are able to get through them. And I think that's the point. Sometimes when we have so much anxiety, we don't imagine ourselves being able to get up the next day or even that morning or even go through our work day.

8:09Speaker 1:But I can tell you going through it right now in my own life, you absolutely can get up. You absolutely can get through your work day and you can do a lot more than your mind is telling you you can right now, especially if If your mind is acting from an anxious state, you're constantly going into protection mode. And so your natural instinct is to hibernate and to do less. And sometimes that can be good for you, but most of the time it's trying to carry on with your daily life in order to prove to yourself that you can go through everything that you are and still...

8:35Speaker 1:continue to do life and still continue to create and be and exist. You might do it at a lower level or lower capacity, but that doesn't mean that you can't do it. And every day that you do will be proof to yourself that, you know what, I can feel anxious, but I can still get things done and I can still keep my life as I want it to be. So I want to share my morning anxiety calming practice with you. It's And it's a little schedule that I've made for myself that has got me up and out of bed in the morning, got me to my workouts, into my workday. It's got me socializing again and getting to bed every day, feeling more or at least a little bit more in control of my life.

9:12Speaker 1:And most importantly, waking up every morning with a little less anxiety. Obviously, ebbs and flows, but this system has really helped me. So I do feel like it's working and I truly hope that it works for you too. So I know when you feel like this, you don't really want to get out of bed. You'd rather be swallowed up by your duvet and never have to leave. That's the initial thought that comes into your mind, I know. I tried to do a 180 and just jump out of bed as soon as I woke up, but I realized that actually wasn't useful for me. So I found somewhere in the middle that has worked for me. I wake up and the first thing that I do before I even open my eyes, when I notice my body coming into a wake state, I, before my eyes even open, say, either out loud, I'll shout it if I have the ability or in my mind, I'm so grateful to wake up this morning for this life, for this breath, for this day. I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. And you know what? A little gratitude goes such a long way.

10:02Speaker 1:I know gratitude feels like an overdone topic, but the facts are facts. It really does shift your perspective, mood and energy straight away. So it's not overdone at all. Actually, I think it's so underrated to start your morning as the first thought being, I am so grateful for this body. I'm so grateful for this life. I'm so grateful for this breath. It shifts. It shifts how your mind is thinking, even if you don't realize it. Then I move straight to breath work because I noticed my chest feels really tight in that moment. And even though being anxious is a mental state... Your whole entire body reacts. I'm sure you've noticed it, which means that the opposite can be true too. So by controlling our physical state, our mind can be calmed. Your breath is the anchor between your body and your mind. The key is to have your exhale be longer than your inhale. You don't have to think too deep into this either. All you have to do is put your hand on your chest, feel the bed underneath you, bring yourself into the actual moment, into the physical space that you're in. Remind yourself of where

10:57Speaker 1:you are so your mind stops taking you to places that you're not. And I do this for five minutes and just feel each part of my body softening with each breath. My chest feels more open. The pit in my stomach feels smaller. My heart rate goes down. And the chances of me punching someone went down to a socially acceptable percentage, which I say is an absolute win. And if you are someone who struggles with breath work on your own, and then all you do is simply breathe and you keep bringing your mind back to your breath.

11:26Speaker 1:And with each inhale, try and inhale for, let's say, four counts to start with and six counts on the way out. And you can have this number going on in your head if that helps. It can kind of help to focus your mind back into your body too. And so you're just breathing. That's all you have to do for the first five minutes of when you wake up. You're breathing in and breathing out. And if you are someone who finds breathwork difficult on your own, I found this really amazing meditation on YouTube by Calm. And I'll share the link below. It's literally just a guided breathwork and meditation. with some oceanic sounds in the background which I found incredible so some days when my mind feels too racy I just put that on and I it talks me through it and then the next thing on my agenda some days not always is a really good cry of course and honestly what a relief you feel after a good one of them it makes such a difference sometimes there's so much trapped emotion I find I get a lot of anxiety when there's too much trapped in me when I've kind of held too much emotion in my heart in my body And so when you cry,

12:22Speaker 1:it's such a good release. Some people scream into a pillow. That also works. But for me, this outpour of something physical really helps to, I don't know, it does something. I'll tell you that it definitely feels like a strong release. And so you don't have to force it if it comes to you. Just allowing yourself to feel whatever emotion is flowing through you and seeing how your body wants to respond to it. It might be crying. It might be screaming. It might be silence. The next thing I do is what most people say not to do, which is reach for my phone, but I reach it for a specific reason. I have created this bad ass note on my phone as the first thing that I read or look at. And I've labeled it morning reminders and I've pinned it right at the top. So I go into my notes app and it has all the things that I feel like I need to read right now to start my day. I'll add to it maybe in the evening or at different times when I read something that really makes a difference to me or changes my perspective or my heart rate in the moment and I'll share some of the things that I've written on it

13:19Speaker 1:but I really think making this list for yourself you can absolutely use mine but making it specific to you would be really wonderful because the more the words resonate with you or bring you into a calm state the better so some of mine say things like I do not need to solve my whole life this morning I am so safe I do not need to and cannot control everything around me I have survived hard mornings before and I'm gonna do it again this feeling is intense but it is not in charge of me I can become comfortable with uncertainty and I will be comfortable with uncertainty.

13:51Speaker 1:This too shall pass. I can come back to what is real, this room, this breath and this moment. I really trust in my ability to navigate uncertainty. I know it's possible even at the times I can't see it. And then my favorite one is nothing I cannot handle will ever come before me. I have a lot more than that. These are the ones I felt comfortable sharing. There's some that are specific to what I'm going through right now and as they should be for you to make it specific, make it heartfelt, really think about what is it that I'm feeling and what's the opposite that I need to hear. What are the things that I really need to hear for myself in the morning to boost me up, to calm me down, to make me feel like a beast to get through my day, whatever it is, put pen to paper or write it in your notes app and look at it every single morning.

14:35Speaker 1:Repetition is so important for this because the fact is anxiety is repetitive thoughts. And so if you're repeating negative thoughts, you have to do the opposite to try and calm your mind, which is repeating all the things that you want to hear to get yourself out of it. The next thing I try to do is start observing what thoughts are coming up. What are the loops that are being created in my head? And bringing myself back to reality rather than catastrophizing. You know, when anxiety hits, you have a, habit of jumping to worst case scenarios. And so what I like to do is I think of the situation or the worst case scenario that my mind is telling me. And then I say in my head or write out three equally likely or neutral outcomes. Think of what you actually know right now. What information do I currently have? And what am I creating in my mind?

15:17Speaker 1:What can I actually control in this moment? And so sometimes your mind will say, oh my God, I'm going to fail at this meeting that I'm going to go into and it's going to be awful and that could be it becomes your reality but the thing is you could go in there and you could kill it you could go in there and they might be like it's all right it wasn't amazing but you're not getting fired and so think of all the other outcomes beyond what your mind is catastrophizing and it allows your mind to start accepting the different routes that could be rather than believing that this is the only way the next thing I do is probably my favorite part of it and that is a prayer Because sometimes faith is not this big, beautiful, peaceful thing or this peaceful feeling. Sometimes faith is literally lying in bed with a tight chest and saying, God, I do not feel calm right now, but I really trust and know that I am not alone in this. God, I know you love me. I experience your love every single day. But please meet me this morning before fear takes over, before my mind runs into the future, before anxiety decides what this day is going to be. Help

16:20Speaker 1:me come back to myself. Thank you so much for this breath. Thank you for this body. Thank you for another morning and another chance and another day. But please help me. Please help me to begin this day with gratitude instead of panic. Help me to notice what is still good in my life, what is still steady, what is still here. And remind my body that I am safe in this moment. Remind my mind that I don't have to have everything figured out all at once. And remind my heart that I am so deeply held, even when I feel uncertain. please, please help me let go of what I cannot control. Help me release the outcomes that I keep trying to force, the answers that I keep trying to find, and the future that I keep trying to predict. Please soften the thoughts that feel too loud.

17:02Speaker 1:Slow down the panic in my body and help me breathe deeper, trust more, and move through this day one step at a time. Guide my thoughts, steady my nervous system, protect my energy, and help me respond from faith and not panic. I may not know what today holds, but I trust and believe that I'm not walking through it alone. I'm going to keep this prayer in the caption for you or I'll share it online. You can adjust it. You can say exactly how it is. But every time I read it, I really do feel my nervous system completely melt. And there is a sense of feeling like you're being held by something beyond, something that you can see, beyond something. There's something really powerful in this moment. Like whenever I feel this way, whenever I feel life is going in a trajectory that I wasn't expecting, And my anxiety gets high. I think the thing that really saves me is this belief that the universe or God loves me so much. And I'm taken care of in ways that I have no idea. In ways that I can't even see. And it gives me a glimmer of hope.

18:04Speaker 1:And I think it's really important to figure out what that glimmer of hope is for you. The last thing I do is I get the hell out of bed is what I do. And I get movement in. I get out of bed and I move my body. Not because movement magically fixes everything, but because anxiety loves stagnancy. It wants it. It wants you to sit there ruminating. That's the only way it gets to live. And so what we have to do is we need to get the hell up. You need to get to a workout.

18:25Speaker 1:You need to get your body moving. You need to go for a walk, do whatever it is. But what you're not doing is staying in bed every single day. You are getting up and you're getting your body moving. And it really helps letting go of the loops that are stuck in our head too. It takes you out of your mind and back into your body. And then when you're thinking about the rest of your day, you know, we have to think about how we can support what we're trying to do for the rest of our day.

18:47Speaker 1:This is only, what, maybe 15 minutes in our day max that we're spending really thinking about this. But how can you support yourself for the rest of the day to allow for this to happen to you in the morning? What I mean by that is, what are you eating, drinking, watching, experiencing throughout the rest of your day. It's the little things like eating foods that are grounding, a warm hug for your belly, avoiding stimulants. I once had coffee when I was feeling really anxious. I actually thought I was going to pass out. I was sweating. My heart was racing. So, you know, maybe choose a nice peppermint tea. or something instead of a coffee if you're feeling really anxious but just take it one day at a time each day will be so different but if you keep your practices in place the hope is that it gets better and better with each day and also remember that even though all these things can help the depth of it is working through the fears that you have the deep-rooted fears that are causing this anxiety addressing them and not hiding from them because even if you think you've locked them away in your mind some way they still exist in

19:43Speaker 1:our subconscious our mind knows they exist And so you'll forever be acting from a place of anxiety and fear if you don't address the underlying cause of it. I really recommend finding a therapist. It's been helping me so much, oh my gosh, to really work through the thoughts I'm having, rational, irrational, and getting through each layer after layer after layer. And speaking with no filter, sometimes speaking with friends or family members, you can feel judgment or you can feel worry that they're going to be worried about you. But speaking to a therapist who's skilled in that can really help so much.

20:16Speaker 1:I didn't realize how impactful it was until I found someone that I could really speak to in that way. I hope this helps. I really do. I would love to hear if you're struggling with this, how you've been coping, what mechanisms you've used or techniques you've used to help you. But more importantly, I want to know that you're feeling better after this. So send me a DM, let me know, But sending you so much love. I know if you clicked on this, there's a reason. And whatever that reason is, just know that you are absolutely able to, skilled enough to, and have the capacity in your heart to make it through this. Sending you all so much love. And I will speak to you. Well, I won't speak to you next week, but you will be hearing from me next week.