Episode · Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
Second Date Update Classics: Hotel Bar Rendezvous + Facebook KO
10 Oct 2026 · 36 min
Episode notes
Part 1 5 minutes into his date with Delilah, Jack realized he forgot something MAJORLY important. Hear what slipped his mind and how we’re helping him gain back ground! Part 2 The listener in today’s Second Date Update says that if we can’t help him, it’ll be the first time EVER that he’s been rejected by a woman! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Read the transcript · about 7,230 words, follows along as you listen
Speaker 1:Welcome to it. We've got back-to-back classics for you to get through your weekend.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And if you haven't checked out our YouTube, just this weekend, I think you especially should because it is my favorite phone tap compilation ever.
Speaker 1:So we do these.
Speaker 3:Phone taps or prank phone calls, I don't know if you've heard them or not, where we use.
Speaker 1:A fake AI agent.
Speaker 4:It's not.
Speaker 1:real AI. What? No.
Speaker 5:Shocker.
Speaker 4:But we use bots.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And they are so funny to me. I don't know why they're so funny.
Speaker 1:They're so funny.
Speaker 3:Well, because it's our producer writing what, like, he's the one that records what those bots say.
Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:And he's just one of the funniest people.
Speaker 5:I've ever met.
Speaker 1:He's a strange dude.
Speaker 3:So we've got a whole compilation, like 45 minutes up, of these prank phone calls with the fake bots up on our YouTube, at Brooke and Jeffrey.
Speaker 5:Yes.
Speaker 3:Flip on over there and check them out at some point this weekend. But first, we've got comments before these classics.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Heather Tucker said, found the show by listening to the prank calls on TikTok and laughed so hard. Look at that.
Speaker 1:There we go.
Speaker 4:Love the show. I'm in South Mississippi, and this will be my daily listen. Hey, sweet.
Speaker 1:That's so awesome.
Speaker 4:Welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:We're so glad you're here. All right, let's get to it. Starts right now.
Speaker 2:Certain things you cannot forget when you're going out on a date.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Your wallet.
Speaker 6:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:A teeth check.
Speaker 6:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 7:Totally.
Speaker 2:And that little sheet of paper where your mom wrote instructions on how to satisfy your partner.
Speaker 1:Ew.
Speaker 2:Don't forget that. It's going to come in handy.
Speaker 6:Trust me.
Speaker 7:Really important, dude.
Speaker 3:What can your mom teach you about, like, what silverware to use?
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's in there. Trust me.
Speaker 7:Oh, God.
Speaker 2:She covers it all. But five minutes into one of our listeners' first dates, he realized he forgot maybe the most important thing of all.
Speaker 1:Uh-oh.
Speaker 2:And it sent him into full-on panic mode.
Speaker 6:Oh.
Speaker 2:You're going to hear the extremely important thing he can't believe he forgot in your brand-new Second Date Update next.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9:Second Date Update.
Speaker 2:Some people might say it's presumptuous on a first date to bring a girl straight to a hotel.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But Brooke would say the La Quinta? Oh, my.
Speaker 1:I didn't know you were going to say a nice hotel.
Speaker 2:We don't even need a room. I'll just lay on the breakfast bar. You feed me raisin bran until I say stop.
Speaker 1:I'll show you how to use that waffle maker.
Speaker 2:Wait, is this an 8 a.m.
Speaker 6:Date?
Speaker 2:That's how Brooke likes it. But I only bring it up because according to our listener, Jack, in his email, he says he had his first date at a local hotel. And that's all I know. So, Jack, you dog. Please say a nice.
Speaker 7:Restaurant at a local hotel.
Speaker 1:Cross my fingers for a bar.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Hey, man, welcome to the show, dude.
Speaker 5:Thank you for having me on. And you know what? That sounds really great, but it wasn't that.
Speaker 1:You're talking about the breakfast bar sounds really great?
Speaker 7:Hook up with the waffle machine?
Speaker 5:No, I'm talking about taking the lady to a hotel on the first date.
Speaker 4:Oh, it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Oh, it did not happen? I thought that's what it said in the email.
Speaker 4:Jeff, what did you mess up again?
Speaker 2:Sorry, reading's hard. Okay, I apologize. So maybe you should just start at the beginning. Tell us about this lady that you met.
Speaker 5:Well, we did go to a hotel, but it was the coffee bar, though.
Speaker 7:So Jeff read the word hotel and was like, it was a hotel day.
Speaker 2:What else do you do at a hotel? You can get coffee.
Speaker 3:Why is a coffee bar okay, but the La Quinta breakfast bar isn't?
Speaker 1:I mean, literally, what is the difference?
Speaker 2:It's kind of a blurb line.
Speaker 1:It's just a fancier name.
Speaker 5:I just figured if I put hotel in the email, it's like, oh, this is getting somebody's attention. Okay.
Speaker 1:It works.
Speaker 2:It sure does.
Speaker 1:Jeff's easy to get.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Her name is Delilah.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 2:And how did you meet her?
Speaker 5:We met on a dating app.
Speaker 1:Did you take everything in your power not to sing that Plain White Cheese song to her?
Speaker 4:Oh, God. I mean, she's from all.
Speaker 5:Over the world. And you would think like that alone would make me remember. But I don't know if it's because, you know, dating apps and you're looking at a lot of different people, a lot of different names. But we were sitting there and I think within five minutes, I can't remember her name. No.
Speaker 6:Oh, no. Yeah.
Speaker 4:What did you do?
Speaker 1:Oh, dang. You're like, hey there, pretty lady.
Speaker 5:Oh, you know.
Speaker 3:Oh, coffee lover.
Speaker 2:Hopefully not.
Speaker 6:Hey, you.
Speaker 5:Luckily, she kind of saved me from it because she started telling a story about her and a friend. And she was like, oh, and my friend was like, Delilah, what are you doing? And I'm like, oh, that's it.
Speaker 2:Oh, Delilah.
Speaker 7:Oh, my gosh.
Speaker 2:You listened to her.
Speaker 7:That's a good thing.
Speaker 6:That's a big way.
Speaker 1:About the first time around, it sounds like. Okay.
Speaker 4:Actually, you're right.
Speaker 2:Now you're listening. So now that you're 15 minutes into the date and you finally refigured out her name, where does it go from there?
Speaker 5:I mean, to back up a little bit, she's very pretty. And I was really attracted. And this may have been like the whole I forgot her name thing.
Speaker 6:But she had this like brown, reddish hair.
Speaker 5:Picture like Emma Stone. But prettier.
Speaker 4:Oh, wow.
Speaker 7:That's actually a good visual.
Speaker 2:Shots fired at Emma Stone. I know Emma Stone's hair.
Speaker 1:She's really pretty.
Speaker 2:Emma Stone is a big listener to this show, so you should know that. Don't we just love her? That's okay.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's awesome. You were blown away at how gorgeous this woman was. Delilah.
Speaker 5:Yeah. And it was, aside from, like, I can't remember your name, there were a couple other weird things you kind of take as a good sign. Like, we were wearing the same colors.
Speaker 6:Oh.
Speaker 2:That's like the universe.
Speaker 1:Did she notice that, or did you point it out?
Speaker 5:She actually was the one who pointed that out.
Speaker 4:Are we talking like black and brown?
Speaker 1:Oh my God, we're both in black shirts. It's just subtle.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're in all green polka dots together. This must mean something.
Speaker 1:Super specific.
Speaker 5:Wow.
Speaker 2:I mean, aside from the color of her hair and the color of your clothes, were there any other highlights? That's very good. What other highlights did you and Delilah have with each other?
Speaker 5:I thought it was a good date. You know, we had a good conversation. It kind of veered off in a weird direction at one point. I don't know how we got there, but like we started talking about childhood dentist trauma.
Speaker 4:Oh, that's a good one.
Speaker 1:Everyone has a story about that, right?
Speaker 2:It's a really hot thing to talk about on a first date.
Speaker 1:Did it make you laugh?
Speaker 5:I mean, yeah, kind of. I had a story about, you know, wisdom teeth getting pulled and lots of blood and actually vomiting or whatever.
Speaker 6:But she was laughing at it.
Speaker 1:Okay. I like that she finds it humorous.
Speaker 2:You like a little dry socket?
Speaker 4:At least you keep up with your teeth. That's what I'm taking as a point.
Speaker 2:I mean, maybe we should just jump right to how did it end?
Speaker 6:I thought it.
Speaker 5:Ended well, you know? I mean, it's a daytime date, so it wasn't like we were kissed. We hugged. I'm trying to think of, you know, I use the coupon to pay for the coffee, but I don't think she even saw that. So it's not like she's going to go, oh, gosh, cheap or something.
Speaker 3:Some people have an issue with coupons for some reason, because I think that just means you are a smart spender.
Speaker 4:I need to know, was it like on your phone coupon or you had like a paper cutout?
Speaker 8:Why does it matter?
Speaker 2:Oh, the magazine clip out? That's kind of old.
Speaker 1:Who cares where the coupon came from, okay?
Speaker 2:But the reason that you do it, Brooke, is so that you can tip less on the final bill. That's a bad look also.
Speaker 1:That just means you found a man that could be financially stable.
Speaker 5:I don't even think she saw it. I mean, it was on my phone. I don't even think she saw it, but if she did, then yeah.
Speaker 2:Was on the phone.
Speaker 4:That's better.
Speaker 2:Okay, yeah, you're fine. Okay. How long has it been since your hotel coffee date?
Speaker 5:It has been just over a week. Okay. And I'm getting absolutely nothing back.
Speaker 2:Okay, you hesitated there, and I thought you might be saying seven years. So this is better than what I was expecting. That means we still have a chance when we come back and we call Delilah for you. Hopefully she has some memory of who you are and some memory of why she's not calling you back.
Speaker 1:If she forgets his name, it'll just make him feel better. So that's also a positive.
Speaker 5:I would prefer you didn't bring that part up.
Speaker 4:Okay.
Speaker 5:But yeah, whatever you got to do.
Speaker 2:Okay. We'll make it happen for you with your second date update right after this.
Speaker 6:Hold on.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9:Second date update.
Speaker 2:If you're just joining us, we've been chopping it up with our listener, Jack, about his first date. with a lovely woman with reddish brown hair named Delilah.
Speaker 1:Say Auburn. Say Auburn hair.
Speaker 2:That's not how he described it.
Speaker 1:That is what reddish brown is.
Speaker 2:That's how you described it.
Speaker 6:No, it was red.
Speaker 7:It was brown red.
Speaker 2:But you've heard of the app Coffee Meets Bagel. Well, Jack said no to that bagel. just grabbed coffee with her at a hotel bar. It was a great transition.
Speaker 1:You know, he thought.
Speaker 7:When he wrote that down in his head, he's like, I'm going to say this.
Speaker 2:I'm hearing the people laughing in their cars right now. And they discussed hobbies and childhoods, traumatic dental experiences, all the usual first date topics. But now, just like the ring, it's been seven days. So it's time to go get our girl.
Speaker 6:Scary.
Speaker 7:You guys haven't seen The Ring? No. You know when you see the video and then you have seven days to forward it or you die?
Speaker 1:Oh. I don't watch those movies. They're too frightening.
Speaker 2:It was really scary. It's seven days and then the entity comes to get you and that's what we are. We are the entity coming to her phone to ask her what's up.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's okay, Brooke. I know you don't appreciate amazing transitions like that, but that's what we're going to do in radio.
Speaker 4:I just spent this whole time doing this, writing your transition.
Speaker 7:Jeff was like, I'm coming in with a coffee bagel joke, and then I'm following up with the ring, baby. This is going to be the greatest.
Speaker 5:I don't even have to.
Speaker 1:Go after you. These two got me.
Speaker 2:When we win our Marconi Award after this, you're going to see who's laughing, but that's fine.
Speaker 3:No one knows what a Marconi is unless you've been in radio for 20 years.
Speaker 4:I don't even know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a radiogram.
Speaker 1:I didn't know until I won one.
Speaker 2:Jack, you feel me. You felt like that was a good recap, right?
Speaker 5:Yeah, no, I thought you guys got it right.
Speaker 4:You can say no.
Speaker 1:Damn it, Jack.
Speaker 2:No, because he thinks if he says no, Jack will make the call. Oh, my God.
Speaker 4:We all know the answer.
Speaker 5:I only hesitated because I was listening to you guys talk, and I'm like, what the hell is a Marconi?
Speaker 10:Yeah, right?
Speaker 2:It's the highest prize you can win in radio.
Speaker 4:I think it's fake.
Speaker 2:It's our Grammys.
Speaker 1:It's not included in the EGOT for a reason.
Speaker 2:Yeah, fine. The reckoning is coming. Let's just call this one.
Speaker 7:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Hello?
Speaker 2:Hey, is this Delilah?
Speaker 11:This is she.
Speaker 2:Hey, Delilah. Happy to.
Speaker 6:What?
Speaker 1:No, you're in for a treat.
Speaker 2:After all the jokes you've been making. You're hearing a lot of voices right now because you're on the radio right now. On a show called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.
Speaker 6:Okay, yeah. Hi.
Speaker 1:Hey, welcome to the show. Thanks. That's an appropriate response.
Speaker 2:I know you're probably wondering what's going on. And I can tell you this is a segment we do. You may have heard of it before. It's called the Second Date Update.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 2:It's where... If we have a listener who wants some help getting in touch with someone they went on a date with recently, we can call them on their behalf and try to figure out if there's a reason why they aren't getting together again.
Speaker 4:Oh.
Speaker 1:Kind of cute, huh?
Speaker 6:Um, yeah, I guess.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and the reason that we're calling you is because you met up with a guy named Jack recently.
Speaker 6:Yeah, the coffee date.
Speaker 1:Yeah, coffee Jack.
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 4:It was a.
Speaker 11:Decent date, but I mean, overall, um. I mean, unfortunately, I kind of found it a little boring, you know?
Speaker 2:Oh, no, that's the worst. Which part was boring?
Speaker 12:Yeah.
Speaker 11:There was just, like, not a lot of initiative taken on, like, starting different conversations.
Speaker 3:Okay, so you felt like you had to lead all the conversation?
Speaker 1:Is that what you mean?
Speaker 5:Yeah, like, a little bit.
Speaker 11:I honestly think that we got started talking about the dentist after I said I had sensitive teeth when I drank my coffee when it was too hot, and then that's how we ended up there. Okay.
Speaker 2:Okay. And when he was describing how he was puking in the dentist's chair, that didn't give you romantic butterflies?
Speaker 11:It's not necessarily the exciting first date conversation you, like, get to know you.
Speaker 9:Okay.
Speaker 2:But to be fair, like, what is? Like, what were you hoping for? Like, you guys are just supposed to meet up and get to know each other, right? Like, a first time? I mean, I don't know.
Speaker 11:I'll have like a first date script that I expect to be like gone over.
Speaker 3:I mean, I can kind of understand what she's saying when you have a conversation with someone and it feels like it's more work than what you get.
Speaker 1:Out of it.
Speaker 2:I mean, Brooke, I agree with you on that and I see what you mean, but we do a lot of these phone calls and I would caution people because a lot of times when someone says they're looking for that romantic spark, That's just not how real dates actually are.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying she should give up on it.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying that I understand having those conversations and leaving and being like, oof, that was exhausting.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I didn't hear her say like, God, that was exhausting. She was just like, I was kind of bored. I didn't feel the spark.
Speaker 7:You know, when people are like, oh, it felt like we already knew each other. Like the chemistry was there.
Speaker 2:This is like the opposite of that. But you're describing Brooke and her cousins at their family reunions. And that's a different situation.
Speaker 6:Absolutely.
Speaker 3:That's my second or third date feeling not a first date.
Speaker 1:Yeah so Delilah you're saying it was so.
Speaker 3:Boring it didn't even warrant more exploration into if there was actually something there.
Speaker 11:Like he is a good dad but to be perfectly honest like I'm getting messages from guys pretty frequently and like I'm going on quite a few coffee dates yeah and so like if it's not interesting or I don't feel like a spark or like want to pursue it I I just don't know that it's worth my time, you know?
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 4:It's like, you know, he got his audition.
Speaker 2:Sure. But who's to say that he wasn't also equally bored and wanting more from you during the conversation?
Speaker 1:He had a great time.
Speaker 2:Well, that's what he said because that's the polite thing to do when you meet somebody. And I'm not just going to say that in his place. I'll let him tell you because Jack is on the other line listening to this call wanting to jump in.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Oh, Jack, I'm sorry.
Speaker 6:I would not have said it like that had I known.
Speaker 11:That you were, I'm sorry.
Speaker 4:Yeah, Brooke.
Speaker 7:He's just doing the polite thing.
Speaker 5:Right, Jeff? Well, I'm just going to say my defense. I mean, it was a coffee date in the middle of the day. I don't know what you expect.
Speaker 2:That could be something.
Speaker 5:I don't know.
Speaker 11:Maybe we connect over a mutual hobby or like a movie that we liked and none of that happened.
Speaker 5:I mean, I was just holding back because, again, I thought we were just trying to go slow, trying to get to know each other. I mean, you've got to wait until like the second date before you get, you know.
Speaker 1:Before you get to hobbies?
Speaker 10:Yeah.
Speaker 5:Listen, I'm not boring. I mean, I ate a whole rotisserie chicken on a Zoom call last week.
Speaker 9:Attaboy.
Speaker 12:Now we're talking.
Speaker 1:Zoom call.
Speaker 2:Wait, what?
Speaker 11:Were you making like a, what do they call it, like a mukbang video where you eat in front of the camera?
Speaker 9:Oh, the mukbang?
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:No, he's just an interesting guy who does crazy interesting things all the time. Yeah. And you would never know. Yeah, you would know that about him if you gave him a chance.
Speaker 4:I want more examples.
Speaker 1:You want to know what else he ate on Zoom calls?
Speaker 11:I just didn't feel that connection spark.
Speaker 2:Are you sure, Delilah? Because back then maybe you didn't feel it. But after hearing about that chicken stuff, you might be getting a little hot and heavy right now.
Speaker 5:Okay, maybe that's a bad example. Okay. My neighbor's cat follows me everywhere like I'm some kind of a cult leader.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:Cats are a good judge of character.
Speaker 5:Cult leader?
Speaker 4:Why do we go to that analogy?
Speaker 5:Well, I'm just saying because I don't want her to think like I'm just some plain old boring guy. I see.
Speaker 4:I see.
Speaker 3:I mean, I will say sometimes people just don't make the best first impressions.
Speaker 1:And maybe that's you. And that's okay. That's okay.
Speaker 8:Literally what it is.
Speaker 1:It's better that he didn't talk your ear off and talk at you instead of just being a little boring on a first date.
Speaker 5:That's true.
Speaker 11:I do like being able to have an equal conversation instead of just being talked at.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Now's a good opportunity, Jack. Give her a chance to talk.
Speaker 11:I will say, Jack, getting in touch with me through the radio is certainly interesting.
Speaker 1:Hey, look at us.
Speaker 9:We're finally a positive.
Speaker 2:We have millions of people listening to you right now.
Speaker 1:I think the tides are turning, Jeff.
Speaker 2:Yes, but she did mention that she has a ton of messages from other dudes.
Speaker 1:Why would you bring that up right now?
Speaker 4:A single girl doesn't.
Speaker 2:Well, she brought it up.
Speaker 1:No, but we don't have to go back there.
Speaker 6:You're right, Brooke.
Speaker 2:I'm hoping that we don't and that she just agrees to another date right now with Jack.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's exciting.
Speaker 2:A coffee and possibly a bagel date that we would pay for.
Speaker 5:No, how about dinner? We'll go out at night.
Speaker 8:Yeah.
Speaker 2:What about a movie night?
Speaker 6:The Ring. Sure.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 5:That movie is terrifying.
Speaker 11:I don't want to watch The Ring.
Speaker 2:Well, this is sounding a lot better. So what do you think about giving him one more chance, Delilah? Again, we would pay for it if you say yes.
Speaker 11:I mean, I do have a couple of other dates lined up, just to be perfectly honest. But if he's willing to, you know, be that. fourth date, I would totally go on a second date with you.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 2:She's volleyed it back over the net to you, Jack.
Speaker 5:Well, I'm just saying I might have some dates... Myself.
Speaker 1:Okay, don't do that, Jack.
Speaker 10:All right.
Speaker 2:He's pulling it back over.
Speaker 1:Delilah.
Speaker 6:No, no.
Speaker 1:I agree. All right. You're excited.
Speaker 6:I'm excited.
Speaker 5:I just wanted to kind of... I'm not a boring guy, so yeah, maybe I got dates.
Speaker 6:But I agree.
Speaker 2:Well, Jack, if you're really not boring, maybe you go on the other dates with Delilah. And you can meet and even one-up some of the other men.
Speaker 5:Oh.
Speaker 4:Jeff, what are you on today? I know, man.
Speaker 9:Seven days.
Speaker 5:I don't think anybody likes that idea.
Speaker 11:Yes, just send me one more date.
Speaker 6:We'll take it.
Speaker 1:We're going to go get Jeff a nap.
Speaker 2:Brooke's going to leave us with a really quippy thing on the very end of it.
Speaker 5:Go, Brooke.
Speaker 1:No, I think that we just end the call. Congratulations. We can't wait to hear back from you. Let us know how it goes.
Speaker 2:Oh, well, that was boring.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2:You know, it's nice to hear the boring guy get a win every once in a while.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 3:I think what's funny is, like, when we were talking to him, I didn't find him boring.
Speaker 6:No, yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 7:He seemed, like, normal.
Speaker 1:But maybe we talked more than he did. Yeah. And that was a problem.
Speaker 9:Not even maybe.
Speaker 4:We definitely.
Speaker 6:Oh, okay.
Speaker 13:We're the interesting ones.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's good that he realized that and kept his mouth shut.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But the bad news is we're not going to be on the date with him, so we can't help him out again.
Speaker 5:No.
Speaker 2:Because the thing that really seemed to change her mind was the fact that he called us and put her on the radio.
Speaker 3:I feel like this is one of those things where you should go with just a couple of pre-planned questions for any date. Like any dinner party, you know, come with some interesting conversation.
Speaker 2:Yeah, like what's your body count?
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 4:Don't do that after like middle school, high school.
Speaker 2:No more of that. Okay, what's a better one?
Speaker 3:Like the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in middle school.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:That sounds like all of the other stories that he was telling about puking at the dentist. I don't know.
Speaker 1:I don't have the list in front of me. If he needs help, we can do that.
Speaker 4:Someone else make the list and let us know.
Speaker 1:Match your own personality.
Speaker 2:Forward us that list so that we don't have to think of it. But remember, if you want help with your dating life, we can be there for you to call that person who isn't calling you back. And remember, all of our second dates are online on YouTube. where you can also watch Brooke eat an entire rotisserie chicken in under 20 minutes.
Speaker 1:I can't believe I haven't done that yet.
Speaker 2:It's the bones, too. The way that jaw hinges, it's wild. Go check it out at Brooke and Jeffrey.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2:There's an elite group of people in the world of dating who have never, ever been rejected.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:They're charming. They're funny. They're good looking.
Speaker 12:Yeah, they are.
Speaker 2:They're named Jeffrey. Sorry, I don't make the rules. Take it up with Jeffrey Goldblum if you have a problem. But we have a listener on the phone with us who's completely... baffled after he didn't get a call back. And if this doesn't work out, it's going to literally be the first time he's ever been rejected. Can we get him to keep his perfect dating record alive? We're at least going to try in your second date update next.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9:Second date update.
Speaker 2:I'm calling it right now. We're going to put one up in the L column today.
Speaker 9:Okay.
Speaker 8:L for love.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was like excited. And then I realized it wasn't a W.
Speaker 8:No, L for love.
Speaker 2:I don't know anything about the listener who emailed us. the date he went on or the person they want us to call. But I just have this feeling deep down that by the end of this segment, it's going to be love one crippling loneliness.
Speaker 6:Zero.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 4:Jeff, let's go.
Speaker 2:Cause our listener, Danny definitely needs some love and Danny. Welcome to the show. You ready for a big L today?
Speaker 6:Yeah, I'm ready for a big W.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Speaker 2:No, we need to give you some L.
Speaker 1:I like Danny.
Speaker 6:Thank you. I appreciate you.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 2:I don't know if you even hear it. He knows we're just kidding.
Speaker 1:I will say Jeff came pretty aggressive with that L.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sorry that I'm confident about this call.
Speaker 7:But he's trying to change the L into love.
Speaker 2:This all got messed up for you, Jeff.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry.
Speaker 6:It's all right.
Speaker 2:Let's get back on track here, Danny. So let's start at the beginning. Tell us about the person you want us to call today.
Speaker 6:Yeah, guys, I met this nice young lady by the name of Jessica. I was at Whole Foods. I usually meet most of my, you know, higher class women at Whole Foods.
Speaker 1:Well, look at that.
Speaker 7:So wait, when you said Jessica was a nice lady, you mean like looks wise nice or she was actually a nice person when you talked to her?
Speaker 6:All the whole shebang.
Speaker 3:Okay, so all the quality ladies are at Whole Paycheck, huh?
Speaker 6:Whole paycheck?
Speaker 2:Do you not call it that?
Speaker 4:No, I've never heard that.
Speaker 7:That's really funny.
Speaker 1:I thought everybody called it that.
Speaker 7:Because you spend your whole paycheck when you go.
Speaker 2:I totally get it. All the one percenters, at least.
Speaker 7:Yeah, I don't even shop there really.
Speaker 4:I splurge once a month on a box there. Yay!
Speaker 2:All right, so tell us how you met. How did this interaction in the Whole Foods go down with Jessica?
Speaker 6:Yeah, so I was walking through and I normally, as I mentioned, meet a lot of nice women. I'm not scared to talk to strangers. So I saw her and complimented on her style and her hair. It's kept it simple.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's nice.
Speaker 2:What do you say? That's some nice hair you got.
Speaker 4:Don't do that.
Speaker 2:How do you compliment it? Can I have a piece of it?
Speaker 4:That mop you got up there.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 6:Yeah, and after I complimented her, I asked her for her IG because that's a thing these days.
Speaker 5:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And that feels safe.
Speaker 3:Like, that feels like you are in tune with people's boundaries.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 5:All right.
Speaker 2:So what did she say?
Speaker 6:She said no.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 2:Oh, what?
Speaker 1:Did you actually go on a date with her?
Speaker 6:Well, I was surprised. She actually ended up giving me her number.
Speaker 5:Oh.
Speaker 2:Oh, you can't have my Instagram, but you can have my phone number because I never actually answered that.
Speaker 4:That's interesting.
Speaker 2:Or it gives her the option to block you quicker.
Speaker 1:Or to give a fake number.
Speaker 4:Exactly.
Speaker 2:Power move by her, but I'm assuming that wasn't the case.
Speaker 6:You know, it's old school and I like old school. So I ended up giving her a call.
Speaker 1:Oh, you actually called. You didn't even text.
Speaker 6:Yeah. So I invited her to a nice, fancy high end bar. And I figured she was enjoying herself because we were talking for a couple hours.
Speaker 1:That's a great sign. Like, what were you guys connecting over?
Speaker 6:We talked about everything. I remember us talking about travel and where we both wanted to go. We've never been to Iceland, so we talked about going to Iceland.
Speaker 4:Oh, and the pools or whatever they're called.
Speaker 7:What are they called, Brooke?
Speaker 1:Hot Springs.
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 2:So you guys are sharing. Things are going good. What type of vibe are you getting from her?
Speaker 6:I'm getting a good vibe. I'm picking up the receptive kind of vibe from her. She did at one point start to talk about a trip to Mexico where she got bumped off of the horse she was riding and I laughed.
Speaker 5:You laughed?
Speaker 6:Yeah, and she got offended.
Speaker 5:Oh, no.
Speaker 4:Oh, she's telling a serious story about a horse injury.
Speaker 2:Well, maybe she was like, yeah, I broke my back.
Speaker 1:I thought that would be a funny story, too. Yeah, it sounds like an innocent story.
Speaker 6:That's what I thought, too. I must have read her wrong. You know, I apologized, and I said, I thought you were joking, and we were able to get past it.
Speaker 1:Okay. So that's the one moment that stood out to you as, like, kind of being off?
Speaker 6:Yeah. There was one thing that I said about... a weird hobby that maybe might have rubbed her the wrong way. I collect vintage maps.
Speaker 1:Ooh, that's kind of cool.
Speaker 2:How would a vintage map rub her the wrong way?
Speaker 1:She hates when countries aren't currently labeled what they're actually called.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. Not labeled Iceland yet. Czechoslovakia? That doesn't exist anymore.
Speaker 6:Maybe it sounded more like an old person hobby to her. I don't know.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay. Rubbed her the wrong way as in turned her off is what you're saying.
Speaker 6:Yeah, turned her off.
Speaker 3:People say that about stamp collecting, and I still think it's cool.
Speaker 1:You know?
Speaker 2:Point proven there.
Speaker 4:I mean, it's not far off from old maps.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're not kidding. So how long has it been since that date?
Speaker 6:Yeah, it's been two weeks since our date and I haven't been in contact with her at all. I'm not sure what transpired because I'm not a guy that normally just goes on one date and not another. You know what I mean?
Speaker 2:Usually get another date.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Well, I mean, it sounds like you listen and you take interest in the person.
Speaker 1:Like, that alone will usually get you another night.
Speaker 6:And you guys can't even see me. I consider myself a pretty good-looking dude.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 7:So we got a catch here.
Speaker 2:I'm going to hear it through the phone, though. A little bit of attractive qualities going on.
Speaker 6:There we go.
Speaker 2:The good news is you had some setbacks, but you got back on that metaphorical horse when it bucked you off.
Speaker 1:Don't use that.
Speaker 5:What?
Speaker 6:Okay.
Speaker 4:When we talk to her.
Speaker 2:We'll save the horse metaphors and put them in. Oh, you got it now.
Speaker 1:In the stable.
Speaker 2:Put it in the stable.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 2:We'll put it back in the stable before we call Jessica for you and try to get you your second date update right after this.
Speaker 6:Okay? Thank you guys for your help. All right. Hold on.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 9:Second date update.
Speaker 2:We've been talking to Danny and learned Danny likes himself a classy gal.
Speaker 6:Okay, Danny.
Speaker 2:Because he met Jessica in a Whole Foods. Hello, bougie. Took her to an Upstale cocktail bar. Okay, swanky. And talked about traveling the world with her. Hello, luxury.
Speaker 9:Oh, wait.
Speaker 2:And he did suffer a small setback after she shared a personal story about getting thrown off a horse in Mexico, and Danny laughed at that.
Speaker 1:I thought it would have been appropriate laughter time, too.
Speaker 6:Yeah.
Speaker 9:We all did.
Speaker 2:Anytime Brooke shares a personal story, we all burst into laughter.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 5:I mean.
Speaker 1:People's misery is funny. Right.
Speaker 7:Brooke's story is like, I bucked a horse off of my back.
Speaker 6:It was hilarious.
Speaker 9:Thanks, Jose.
Speaker 2:Aside from that, he felt very confident that he would be seeing her again, which brings us to this moment two weeks later where he's hearing nothing. So, Dani, before we call her, how are you feeling about this?
Speaker 6:I'm still in shock because I'm never one and done. I'm always getting the return favors after the first date.
Speaker 1:Weird way to word it.
Speaker 2:But I like it.
Speaker 1:If she says no, will it be the first time you've been rejected?
Speaker 6:Very first.
Speaker 1:Whoa.
Speaker 6:Ever?
Speaker 1:Welcome to the club.
Speaker 7:I had a friend who was a model and I was there for the first time he was ever rejected.
Speaker 1:Was it hard for him?
Speaker 2:It really was. I know you're joking, but truly you could see in his eyes. He's like, how is this even a possibility? So I hope that doesn't happen to you.
Speaker 7:Today, bro.
Speaker 2:But if it does and you want to hug afterwards or exchange favors, whatever you like to do, it's like we're there for you.
Speaker 5:Okay.
Speaker 9:Sliding in.
Speaker 1:I don't know. He's the one that brought up favors first.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to speak his language. So bottom line, we're there for you, Danny. We appreciate you. We're going to show you after the call, but let's call Jessica first. Here we go.
Speaker 8:Hello?
Speaker 2:Hey, is this Jessica?
Speaker 5:Yes. Who's calling?
Speaker 2:Hey, Jessica, we are a radio show calling you. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sorry if you're busy right now.
Speaker 13:Why is there a radio station calling me?
Speaker 6:We're bored.
Speaker 2:Part of that, but mostly because we do this segment on the show that's called the Second Date Update, where we help out our listeners who've gone out with someone and they're not getting a call back for a second meetup.
Speaker 1:What? Don't you want to know who wrote us about you?
Speaker 2:Yeah. A guy named Danny?
Speaker 12:Ugh.
Speaker 5:What?
Speaker 7:Ugh?
Speaker 2:I heard the G. I know. Why that reaction?
Speaker 13:Well, we just don't connect, so I don't know.
Speaker 6:This is weird to me.
Speaker 7:Really?
Speaker 1:That is so strange.
Speaker 3:It sounds like he was a really nice guy who was really interested in you.
Speaker 7:Easy to talk to.
Speaker 2:Because we spoke to him before calling you. And he told us about the date from his description. It seemed to have a lot of really nice moments between you two where you vibed, got to know each other.
Speaker 13:No, I feel like he is the kind of person that would have a challenge to find any match with any woman.
Speaker 5:This is weird.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:Oh, he's a chameleon.
Speaker 6:He'll adapt.
Speaker 3:You have to explain why he was so off-putting, because I don't know if he just, like, pulled one over on us, but he sounded fine.
Speaker 6:Mm-hmm.
Speaker 7:Nice.
Speaker 4:He sounded kind of, like, suave, almost.
Speaker 6:The absolute opposite.
Speaker 13:I don't know.
Speaker 6:What?
Speaker 12:He's crazy.
Speaker 1:Okay, can you, like, walk us through the date in your eyes?
Speaker 2:We need something specific that gave you that impression.
Speaker 13:I mean, I thought things were going okay, but once I started to dig deeper, I found out some things that just kind of turned me off.
Speaker 1:Wait, like things in your conversation that he revealed?
Speaker 2:Yeah, like what?
Speaker 10:Well, we were talking about hobbies, and then he said he was into boxing, and I was like, oh, that's really cool.
Speaker 13:You spar at the gym? And he was like, no, I spar in parking lots.
Speaker 1:Oh.
Speaker 9:Parking lots?
Speaker 2:Oh, so like street boxing?
Speaker 1:Maybe like fight club style. Is that what he means?
Speaker 2:Did you ask more?
Speaker 12:Yeah, I did.
Speaker 10:I was like with random people, and he said no over Facebook arguments.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 7:Oh, nice.
Speaker 3:He gets in fights with people on Facebook and then meets them in parking lots?
Speaker 4:Red flags everywhere.
Speaker 13:I guess so.
Speaker 10:I mean, I got out of there as soon as I could because it was starting to freak me out.
Speaker 9:Yeah.
Speaker 12:I guess he was very proud of this hobby that he had. And I was just like, I really hate violence. And also, like, what do you expect me to go out with somebody who hits people?
Speaker 11:Right.
Speaker 4:And uses Facebook that actively. Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's so messed up. And like boxing is a sport.
Speaker 4:This isn't a sport.
Speaker 3:I picture him meeting like 50 plus year old people in parking lots and throwing hands.
Speaker 2:But maybe that's just our understanding of it. Maybe he has a totally different thing that he does and we're just interpreting it the wrong way.
Speaker 1:How could you interpret that the wrong way?
Speaker 2:Well, let's ask him, because I need to tell you, Jessica, he's on the other line right now listening to this conversation, wanting to talk to you.
Speaker 13:He's not on the phone.
Speaker 2:Yeah, see, there he is.
Speaker 6:I didn't know you felt that way. You should have said something, you know?
Speaker 3:What?
Speaker 1:That's kind of threatening.
Speaker 3:Like, you get so upset at Facebook comments that you have to beat people up over them?
Speaker 8:Well, hold on.
Speaker 2:That's how we're interpreting it. What do you actually do? Explain it, Dani.
Speaker 6:Jessica, you're getting this all wrong. I'm actually doing the neighborhood a favor by dealing with these Facebook trolls one at a time in person in their driveway.
Speaker 1:What?
Speaker 2:Oh, it's a driveway.
Speaker 1:Wait, what defines a Facebook troll?
Speaker 6:People that come on there and talk a bunch of crap.
Speaker 1:Aren't they usually like either teenagers or really, really old people?
Speaker 4:Or they get paid for engagement. I troll all day long.
Speaker 2:I make a lot of money.
Speaker 6:Be careful.
Speaker 2:Danny might try to engage you in a parking lot sometime. Hey, man, if it's mutual, that's one thing.
Speaker 6:Listen, I don't go looking for them. I engage them online. If they want to meet up, man to man, square up. I usually offer a place like a Costco parking lot, and then we meet up.
Speaker 2:Okay, neutral ground.
Speaker 1:But also, like, Jessica... Facebook trolls do kind of suck.
Speaker 2:Now that you've heard his side of the story, does it make you feel a little bit better about it?
Speaker 6:No.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:Which part of it don't you like?
Speaker 13:I mean, I couldn't picture my boyfriend saying, hey, I got to leave early tonight.
Speaker 12:I have to go beat someone up at the Home Depot parking lot.
Speaker 6:Listen, Jessica, what I'm doing is a lot cheaper than therapy.
Speaker 9:That's true.
Speaker 4:Probably less effective, but yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, therapy for you or is it therapy for the trolls?
Speaker 1:Yeah, maybe both.
Speaker 6:Definitely for me, I'm so much more zen-like after I knock someone out.
Speaker 2:They're kind of at peace too for a few seconds until they regain consciousness.
Speaker 1:I had a really good friend that struggled with depression and he got into jujitsu. Is that kind of the same thing?
Speaker 4:Kids with anger management are supposed to go into boxing too.
Speaker 11:Absolutely.
Speaker 2:It's a form of physical therapy.
Speaker 6:You guys are acting like this is a chaotic brawl. This is a gentleman's sport. We shake hands after. Sometimes we might crack a beer if I have one in it.
Speaker 1:How many Facebook trolls have you fought?
Speaker 2:That's a good question, actually.
Speaker 6:I have lost count at this point. Oh, God.
Speaker 7:Or he's got brain damage and can only count to ten right now.
Speaker 1:I got some names from my page I could send him.
Speaker 6:I'll take them on if they meet me. I'll do it.
Speaker 4:Sounds like a full-time job, not a hobby.
Speaker 2:Text in 78592.
Speaker 7:You want to find our friend?
Speaker 3:I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2:So if I'm reading the room right here, it sounds like Jessica is still feeling a little bit cold on this idea of, Facebook parking lot brawls. So, Danny, is there any last things that you want to say to her before we ask the question?
Speaker 6:I just want to let her know that I met with her ex-boyfriend last week at Home Depot.
Speaker 2:Wait, excuse me? That's a joke.
Speaker 6:It's a joke, but I would do it. Oh, okay.
Speaker 2:She's got a sense of humor.
Speaker 6:Jessica, in all seriousness, I'm a good dude. You want to hang out with me, you just don't know yet. And I'll protect you.
Speaker 2:That's for sure.
Speaker 4:I did not like that middle sentence.
Speaker 2:That being said, we would like to offer to send you on another date with Danny, and we would pay for it, Jessica, but it's up to you.
Speaker 3:I'm sure he'll have no jealousy issues once you guys start dating.
Speaker 13:No, I'm not interested.
Speaker 1:Oh, man, we.
Speaker 2:Thought we had her, right, Jessica? So close. Almost ready to say yes, but not this time.
Speaker 1:We got a solution, though, for the Brooke and Jeffrey Facebook trolls, so that's cool. Oh, yeah.
Speaker 2:Are you available for hire, Danny?
Speaker 6:Yes, I am. And Jessica, just so you know, I'm not sorry that I laughed at you falling off of the horse.
Speaker 1:Whoa.
Speaker 2:Unnecessary.
Speaker 4:Dang.
Speaker 2:But he will beat up that horse in a Walmart parking lot.
Speaker 1:To get even for.
Speaker 9:You.
Speaker 4:That's not the horse. That's so stupid.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Speaker 2:Look, I get it. On the surface, fighting randos off of Facebook seems barbaric. But they're agreeing to meet up with him. Yeah, that's my point. He's not surprising them with a fight.
Speaker 10:Hunting them down.
Speaker 2:And according to Danny, they even shake hands and sometimes grab beers together afterwards.
Speaker 7:As a fight should end.
Speaker 1:I'm really wavering on this one. Back and forth.
Speaker 9:I don't know.
Speaker 1:Describe it as a hobby is kind of the strange point.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Well, yeah, sure, but maybe this face-to-face stuff and not hiding behind computers and saying terrible things to each other all day long, maybe that's actually a healthy thing for the entire world.
Speaker 7:Usually once it gets to that point, what I notice on Facebook, people just block people.
Speaker 6:It's like, oh, where do you live?
Speaker 2:I'm gonna, it's like, man, get out of here. So the fact the other guy's like, sure, show up.
Speaker 7:Okay, show up.
Speaker 6:All right.
Speaker 4:Or just get off Facebook or social media.
Speaker 2:But then we're not resolving our issues, Alexis. Like, if it was me, I would personally do it a little different. I'd meet him outside of Barnes & Noble, and we'd do a thumb wrestle. I like that, Jeff. That's even older than the Facebook thing she just said.
Speaker 4:What about a tickle fight?
Speaker 2:I'm open for that, too. But I do understand what he's doing, what he's trying to accomplish. I'm a little bit disappointed that Jessica wasn't able to look deeper. than just his fist flying through a Costco rumble. But remember, you can always find all of our second dates wherever you get your podcasts, and be careful what you write in the comments, because Danny's watching. So be extra nice to Brooke in there.
Speaker 1:Danny's watching.
Speaker 2:You'll find it at Brooke and Jeffrey.
Speaker 8:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.
Transcript supplied by the publisher with the episode.
Podcast
Brooke and Jeffrey: Second Date Update
iHeartPodcasts · Comedy · English
Ghosted after a first date? We call the person who isn't calling you back to find out the real reason why and get you a Second Date. Low success rate...high entertainment for the rest of us. Want more? Catch the FULL hour long show over at Brooke and Jeffrey: iHeartRadio : https://www.iheart
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