Awkward Tuesday: Honeymoon Phase Ended

0:00Speaker 1:All right, brand new episode for you. Welcome to it.

0:02Speaker 2:It's Brooke and Jeffrey, and you found the Second Date Podcast.

0:05Speaker 1:We've got a mystery on our hands.

0:06Speaker 2:Today with our Awkward Tuesday phone call that involves some things going missing from a guy's apartment. So we're going to get to the bottom of it in just a second, but first, comments.

0:17Speaker 3:Oh, James Earl said, hello from sunny Cornwall, UK. Thank you so much for making my days at work so much better. Although I've just heard Brooke insult tea and I'll let her off just this once.

0:30Speaker 2:Well, you know, my husband is a tea drinker. He only drinks tea. And the reason is because his ex-girlfriend got him into it.

0:37Speaker 1:So, you know, you got it. I gotta hate it. You got to.

0:40Speaker 4:I gotta hate it.

0:41Speaker 1:I mean, that, James, you gotta understand that. Just how it goes.

0:44Speaker 4:I mean, I apologize.

0:46Speaker 1:Valid reasoning. Let's get your brand new Awkward Tuesday episode started right now.

0:52Speaker 5:One of our listeners got a huge surprise the other day when he came home from work, looked around his apartment, and noticed something was missing.

1:01Speaker 6:Oh.

1:02Speaker 7:Wait a minute.

1:03Speaker 5:And the only person who could explain why... is his girlfriend. And before he even reached out to us, guess what? It happened again. Another missing item and no explanation for it. It's such a bizarre situation. He had to ask us for help.

1:23Speaker 7:Disappearing stuff?

1:24Speaker 5:We're going to figure out how is the right way to approach this in a brand new Awkward Tuesday phone call coming up next.

1:32Speaker 6:It's Awkward.

1:33Speaker 4:It's Tuesday.

1:34Speaker 7:It's Awkward. It's Awkward Tuesday phone call.

1:37Speaker 5:You ever been in a relationship where for the first few months, things are going really well?

1:42Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.

1:43Speaker 5:And then all of a sudden, boom, their personality completely changes.

1:49Speaker 1:Or comes out.

1:50Speaker 2:Yeah.

1:50Speaker 5:You know?

1:51Speaker 4:Gun hiding.

1:52Speaker 5:Well said, yeah. And then they start doing really weird stuff that they were never doing before.

1:57Speaker 7:So weird. The switch up on some people is wild.

1:59Speaker 1:That's why so many relationships end in the three to four month period.

2:03Speaker 5:It also kind of sounds like the trailer for Megan, the AI robot helper who moves in and ends up attacking her host family.

2:10Speaker 2:Oh.

2:11Speaker 1:I didn't see that movie.

2:11Speaker 5:She was so sweet at the beginning. What happened?

2:14Speaker 1:I don't know. Why can't you trust AI robots?

2:16Speaker 5:Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about. This is the situation that one of our listeners, Nick, is currently in right now. And he doesn't know where else to turn, which is why he's come to us for help. So, Nick, welcome to the show.

2:28Speaker 6:Hey, thanks, guys.

2:30Speaker 1:Sounds like you saw the real side of your girlfriend. Honeymoon phase ended.

2:33Speaker 6:It took nine months, you know.

2:36Speaker 5:Oh, nine months. Wow, okay. So what's happening now with you and your girlfriend? Does she have a name?

2:43Speaker 6:She has Mandy. That's her name.

2:45Speaker 5:Mandy, okay.

2:46Speaker 1:So nine months and.

2:48Speaker 8:More like D-Mandy nowadays.

2:49Speaker 5:Uh-oh, yeah. I'm just guessing.

2:52Speaker 1:What shifted?

2:53Speaker 6:So we don't live together, but we do spend a lot of time together, obviously, after almost a year.

2:58Speaker 7:Yeah, we spend the night at each other's houses all the time.

3:00Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's got the code to my place, so, like, I'll get home from work, she gets off work before I do, she's already there.

3:06Speaker 7:That's kind of like the audition phase of, like, can we live together? When you give people a code or an extra key, but you don't officially move in together.

3:13Speaker 1:Exactly.

3:13Speaker 5:If they truly love you, they won't need the code. They will find a way inside. That's how you know true love, when they break the window.

3:21Speaker 6:That's terrifying. Yeah.

3:23Speaker 5:Now we're back to Megan again.

3:24Speaker 1:Oh, I got obsession.

3:26Speaker 6:All of it.

3:27Speaker 5:It's all freaky. But so she's got the code and she likes to clearly hang out at your spot.

3:32Speaker 6:Yeah. So she'll be there when I get home. And I came home one night after work and one of my living room chairs was gone.

3:39Speaker 1:What do you mean gone?

3:40Speaker 6:What? The chair just disappeared. Not in the closet, not in storage.

3:44Speaker 2:Is it just like a wood chair? Is it an upholstered chair? Like, how big of a movement.

3:50Speaker 4:Do you have to do this?

3:51Speaker 5:Brooke's turning this into an HGTV segment all of a sudden.

3:55Speaker 2:I mean, if it's something that could just be moved to the other room, then maybe it was misplaced, right?

3:59Speaker 1:But if it's something that takes.

4:01Speaker 4:A lot of effort to haul out.

4:03Speaker 5:What fashion period is this from?

4:05Speaker 7:Is this like a Victorian-style chair?

4:07Speaker 5:Yeah, what dimensions are we working with?

4:09Speaker 6:Just like a normal living room chair that you would have. It's a good chair.

4:13Speaker 1:Yeah, got it.

4:13Speaker 5:Okay, but it's suddenly disappeared.

4:16Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah. I asked her, like, hey, where'd the chair go? And she's like, oh, that old thing? I just got rid of it. Wait, what?

4:23Speaker 4:She just got rid of your stuff?

4:24Speaker 5:What?

4:25Speaker 6:Yeah.

4:26Speaker 4:Whoa.

4:26Speaker 6:I told her, I was like, you didn't ask me. That was a good share. And she was just like, not really. And then she changed the subject.

4:32Speaker 1:Oh my God.

4:32Speaker 6:Wow.

4:33Speaker 1:That is a huge boundary.

4:35Speaker 6:Yeah.

4:35Speaker 1:That has been crossed.

4:36Speaker 7:Selling someone's stuff.

4:38Speaker 1:I don't even think she sold it. It sounds like she threw it away.

4:40Speaker 7:I know.

4:42Speaker 6:I mean, it wasn't fight worthy, but it was weird.

4:46Speaker 5:For sure.

4:47Speaker 1:I'm sorry.

4:47Speaker 2:If someone got rid of a piece of furniture of mine, it would definitely be fight worthy.

4:52Speaker 1:So you were really chill about it.

4:55Speaker 6:Trying to be cool about it. It's fine. Maybe it's a taste thing. It was a chair. I can get another chair.

4:59Speaker 5:But then it happened a few more times.

5:01Speaker 6:What?

5:02Speaker 5:Wait, wait, what?

5:03Speaker 2:I imagine his apartment just empty at this point.

5:07Speaker 4:It's all her stuff?

5:07Speaker 1:It's a single lamp.

5:09Speaker 5:And one stool in the center of the room.

5:12Speaker 1:What do you mean a few more times?

5:14Speaker 6:She got rid of a plant, like a healthy plant that I've had in my place for a few years. What?

5:19Speaker 4:Why?

5:20Speaker 1:You're a guy who can keep a plant alive? And she got rid of it?

5:24Speaker 6:Yeah, man. I was shocked myself.

5:26Speaker 5:Yeah.

5:27Speaker 6:And then my bedspread was gone.

5:29Speaker 1:Huh?

5:29Speaker 4:Okay. You're still not saying anything at this point?

5:31Speaker 5:In your girlfriend's defense, were you washing the bedspread or no?

5:35Speaker 6:Yes, dude. I can keep a plant and I can wash a bedspread.

5:38Speaker 1:See, that changes my whole vision of your aesthetic.

5:41Speaker 6:Yeah.

5:41Speaker 1:Because you had a plant. I'm just saying. Is she replacing these things or is she just getting.

5:46Speaker 5:Rid of them?

5:48Speaker 6:I don't know if she sold it or junked it. I don't know.

5:52Speaker 2:Even so, if you're going to get rid of someone's comforter because you don't like it, then you gift them a new comforter.

5:57Speaker 4:You can't really sleep without it?

5:59Speaker 6:Yes.

6:00Speaker 7:Or you bring your own.

6:01Speaker 5:So, Nick, are you coming to us before you've had a conversation with your girlfriend about this? I've tried.

6:07Speaker 6:I've tried. I like Saturday Night Live. And I was like, look, I appreciate you wanting to update stuff at my place, but can we at least have a discussion about it before? And her response was, maybe.

6:19Speaker 2:What?

6:20Speaker 1:Maybe.

6:20Speaker 6:We can talk.

6:22Speaker 4:It's not her stuff.

6:24Speaker 6:Yeah. I agree with you. It's my stuff, and I said the same thing to her. And in the last week since we talked, my toaster's gone and my shower curtain.

6:32Speaker 7:Why the toaster?

6:34Speaker 5:How are you bathing without a shower curtain?

6:37Speaker 4:Have you been to her house?

6:38Speaker 1:Like, is she taking them for her?

6:40Speaker 8:I'm just worried your bathroom floor is so wet right now.

6:46Speaker 6:Um, they're not at my place or not at her place. And I just don't know what to do. Cause I do like her, you know, I want the relationship to work and stuff, but I. I just don't know how to talk to her about this, and I need somebody to help me.

6:59Speaker 2:Maybe you do one of those things that the restaurants do with the patio furniture, and you lock it down.

7:03Speaker 7:Oh, yeah, yeah.

7:04Speaker 5:At the end of the night. Little chains to the floor.

7:07Speaker 4:Every night.

7:08Speaker 5:Lock everything up.

7:09Speaker 7:Even your toothbrush.

7:10Speaker 5:Yeah.

7:11Speaker 1:At this point.

7:13Speaker 5:I mean, yeah, that's kind of the extreme version of it, but maybe there's some other advice we can give you to get into your girlfriend's brain and find out why is she doing this.

7:22Speaker 1:Is there like an opposite of a kleptomaniac?

7:25Speaker 6:Yeah.

7:25Speaker 1:Where instead of taking everything, they.

7:27Speaker 4:Just get rid of everything?

7:28Speaker 5:Yeah, it's called Marie Kondo.

7:29Speaker 6:Wow.

7:30Speaker 5:She's an expert at it. Yeah, she's like, if it feels bad to you, get rid of it. She says nothing about replacing it with anything. So, I don't know. Let's figure out what's going on when we come back, give you our advice, and let you call your girlfriend to ask her why does she feel like she has the right to get rid of all of your stuff in your apartment.

7:52Speaker 1:And stop. Yeah.

7:54Speaker 5:And probably shouldn't do that anymore.

7:57Speaker 6:Don't do that.

7:57Speaker 5:We'll do it with your Awkward Tuesday phone call right after this.

8:00Speaker 7:It's awkward.

8:02Speaker 5:It's Tuesday. It's Awkward Tuesday phone call. Every day our listener Nick comes home to his apartment and something new is missing.

8:13Speaker 4:What's it going to be today?

8:14Speaker 5:First it was a chair, then a plant, then a bedspread, a toaster, a shower curtain. It's like a where's Waldo of his home furnishings at this point. And at least we know who the culprit is. It's his girlfriend of nine months, Mandy, who isn't denying that she's the one getting rid of it. But she has been awfully casual about ditching his belongings, and she's not stopping, even when he's asked her to. So that's why he's come to us seeking our advice and maybe even a theory about why this might be happening to him. Brooke, what have you got?

8:49Speaker 1:Well, I don't think it's a style thing, because why would you get rid of a plant? That doesn't make sense to me. So I was thinking about it. I think what she's.

8:56Speaker 4:Trying to do is passively, aggressively.

8:59Speaker 1:Move in together.

9:01Speaker 2:So she's either making room for her things to come in, or she's making your place so desolate that you.

9:08Speaker 1:Have to move in with her.

9:09Speaker 4:You know what I'm saying? Women are always one step ahead.

9:13Speaker 5:What do you think about that, Nick?

9:15Speaker 6:I just feel like it wouldn't be a conversation that you have to avoid talking about.

9:20Speaker 1:Well, but maybe she wants you to ask.

9:23Speaker 2:You know? She's giving you the signs.

9:26Speaker 6:Okay.

9:26Speaker 5:Maybe you bring up the possibility if she's looking to move in with you during this call. But, Jose, what's your advice?

9:32Speaker 8:Well, you told us you tried to talk to her about this, and she was pretty dismissive. So she's probably hiding something.

9:39Speaker 2:Like his belongings.

9:42Speaker 7:Yeah.

9:42Speaker 8:Well, that's why you tell her you reached out to a professional home decorator because you want to update your place.

9:50Speaker 1:Okay.

9:51Speaker 7:And then just listen to how she reacts to that.

9:54Speaker 1:What is it going to tell you?

9:55Speaker 7:That's going to tell you everything.

9:56Speaker 4:Who wouldn't be excited.

9:57Speaker 1:About a home decorator?

9:58Speaker 4:That would be funny.

9:59Speaker 2:Yeah.

10:00Speaker 4:If they do have good taste.

10:02Speaker 8:The girl trying to redecorate this guy's home, she's trying to be the home decorator.

10:06Speaker 4:She hasn't brought anything in.

10:07Speaker 8:She's waiting for the go, for the thumbs up.

10:12Speaker 1:Yeah.

10:13Speaker 5:I don't know, Nick. The advice is really just advice. You can use it or not.

10:17Speaker 2:Yeah.

10:18Speaker 5:Let's dial your girlfriend, see if she answers the phone, and hopefully we can get to the bottom of why she's getting rid of all your stuff.

10:24Speaker 2:Yes.

10:24Speaker 5:And get her to stop.

10:26Speaker 1:Maybe even get it back.

10:27Speaker 6:Yeah.

10:27Speaker 5:Just saying.

10:28Speaker 4:You need that toaster.

10:29Speaker 1:You need the shower curtain, Alexis.

10:31Speaker 5:All right, Nick, you feel ready to do this?

10:35Speaker 6:I think so. All right.

10:37Speaker 5:We'll be here in your corner if you need a little help, and I'm dialing Mandy right now.

10:40Speaker 6:Here we go.

10:47Speaker 2:Hello? Hi, baby.

10:50Speaker 6:How's it going? Oh. Hey, babe. I didn't recognize the number. Yeah, sorry. I'm calling from a different number at the moment. I just needed to talk to you about something. It's about the stuff in my apartment, you know? Okay.

11:13Speaker 5:What did you want to talk about?

11:17Speaker 6:So, like, do you remember when... You got rid of some of my stuff, like my bedspread. Do you remember that? Yeah. Yeah, that whole thing. Yeah. I wanted to ask you a little bit about that and the chair in my living room. You got rid of those things, but I don't remember talking with you about that choice. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.

11:46Speaker 5:Yeah, of course.

11:47Speaker 8:We will talk about it.

11:49Speaker 6:Oh, my gosh.

11:49Speaker 1:And I just remembered that Costco has the best ahi tuna on sale right now.

11:55Speaker 6:We should get.

11:55Speaker 5:That for.

11:58Speaker 6:Dinner. Yeah, we can probably do that for dinner. But also there's like the plant that was in my room. I don't know if you like tossed it away or if you sold it or what, but like you didn't say anything about it.

12:12Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.

12:13Speaker 6:No, I love plants.

12:15Speaker 3:Like, oh, my gosh, I saw these amazing plants when I was in Hawaii.

12:19Speaker 1:Like, I was on a hike, and they were beautiful. They had these red and orange streaks.

12:23Speaker 6:They were so pretty. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, that sounds beautiful and great. And I got to just be honest. It feels like you're avoiding talking to me about this.

12:37Speaker 5:Yeah.

12:39Speaker 6:Talking about what? Like, when we first started dating, you weren't getting rid of my stuff, and now it's like there's something else from my apartment missing, like, every other day.

12:52Speaker 2:Hmm.

12:56Speaker 6:Can you just tell me, like, why you're doing it? Because I don't really... I don't know how to talk to you about this. I don't know what you were hoping for or what you want, and I just... I need to know why. I mean, I. I don't know what you want me to say. I mean, is it like, do you just hate my taste? Like, you just don't want to hurt my feelings because you don't like my stuff and you just want to get rid of it? It's just, it's my stuff and I just need to understand.

13:31Speaker 8:I mean, is it though?

13:36Speaker 6:What? Is it what? Is it my stuff? Yes. Yeah, it is my stuff, dude. Yes, 100%.

13:46Speaker 1:Babe, like, look, I just, maybe you need to be honest with me.

13:50Speaker 6:I need to be honest with you? What are you talking about? I am being honest.

13:56Speaker 2:I mean, I don't think you are, because if you were, you would have told me that these items really belong to your ex-girlfriend. What?

14:06Speaker 6:And that's why I've been giving them back to her.

14:09Speaker 4:Back to her?

14:11Speaker 7:I thought he was renting it.

14:12Speaker 1:Oh, my God.

14:13Speaker 7:Wait a second.

14:14Speaker 6:That's even worse.

14:15Speaker 4:What do you mean you're giving them back to the ex-girlfriend?

14:19Speaker 6:Who's there? Who's that?

14:21Speaker 4:Not the ex-girlfriend.

14:22Speaker 6:No.

14:24Speaker 5:This is a radio show that you're on right now, Mandy. We're called Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

14:28Speaker 6:Yes.

14:29Speaker 1:Looks like you're not the only one secretly talking to people.

14:31Speaker 5:Yeah. Well, Nick... That was a bombshell. What's going through your head right now?

14:38Speaker 6:I don't know what we're talking about here. My ex-girlfriend? Why are you talking to my ex-girlfriend?

14:42Speaker 2:Yeah. I mean, a few weeks ago, she DMed me over Instagram and was asking me about that chair in your living.

14:50Speaker 6:Room, babe.

14:51Speaker 1:Why is she messaging you?

14:52Speaker 4:And how do you know she's being honest?

14:54Speaker 6:She was really persistent.

14:57Speaker 5:She told me, like, she was the one who bought it at some flea market and loved it.

15:01Speaker 1:And, like, babe, apparently all these items in your house, they're just, like, she's the one who bought them.

15:07Speaker 6:Oh, my God. And you kept them.

15:09Speaker 5:In the breakup, Nick, you kept all of your ex-girlfriend's stuff?

15:12Speaker 4:Who gives a shower curtain back in a breakup? You don't do that.

15:15Speaker 5:Yeah, dude.

15:16Speaker 6:I'm not going to, like, take it off the shower and, like, send it in the mail, you know?

15:23Speaker 5:Maybe a towel.

15:23Speaker 7:It's like if you bought it together.

15:25Speaker 2:Yeah. But other than that.

15:27Speaker 1:Is that all accurate, Nick?

15:29Speaker 6:I mean, it's true, but, like, I can't believe she's reaching out to you. Like, who does that?

15:37Speaker 1:Yeah, but it's kind of, like, petty. Listen, like, I really like you, and you are a great boyfriend, but this is kind of a girl code thing.

15:45Speaker 6:What?

15:45Speaker 4:You're going behind his back?

15:47Speaker 5:The girls in the room are totally shocked by this.

15:49Speaker 4:I'm scared the ex is crazy. Like, if you have a shower curtain back, like, you're petty.

15:54Speaker 1:Mandy, why didn't you just talk to him and be like, hey, this is what happened.

15:58Speaker 2:Your ex wrote me, and she wants these things back, and leave it between them. It was like half a dozen things, and I just really wanted to get them out. I didn't think it was going to be some big deal.

16:10Speaker 4:It's a full living room chair.

16:14Speaker 7:Yeah, the shower curtain.

16:15Speaker 4:The comforter, too.

16:15Speaker 1:I can't get over it.

16:16Speaker 7:That's right, the comforter.

16:17Speaker 5:Well, we know he didn't pick out the comforter. Let's be honest.

16:20Speaker 7:Yeah, no guy ever does. Oh, yeah.

16:22Speaker 1:The ex doesn't want these things back.

16:24Speaker 4:No.

16:24Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm telling you.

16:25Speaker 5:Is she just doing it to get his attention? She's just trying to get back at Nick for the breakup?

16:30Speaker 7:I didn't think of that.

16:31Speaker 5:I mean, Nick, do you think that's a possibility? Could there be unresolved feelings?

16:35Speaker 6:Not on my side, but maybe, maybe on hers. I did the breaking up.

16:39Speaker 7:Yeah.

16:40Speaker 2:I mean, the girl hasn't been living without a shower curtain for the last year.

16:44Speaker 6:Yeah, no, that's what I'm saying.

16:47Speaker 5:Well, maybe she has one of those glass ones that doesn't need a curtain.

16:50Speaker 4:Then she wouldn't even need it. Yeah, she wouldn't have one.

16:52Speaker 5:Which maybe she wants it as drapes.

16:54Speaker 1:Okay, again.

16:56Speaker 7:Jeff showers like two glass doors and a curtain.

16:58Speaker 6:Good.

16:59Speaker 5:I don't know. What I'm more concerned about, though, is the trust between the two of you, Nick and Mandy. I hope that's not broken.

17:07Speaker 7:Yeah, because she kind of went behind your back, bro.

17:09Speaker 5:Yeah. I mean, it sounds like, Nick, you at least have closure about what was going on and why she was doing it.

17:16Speaker 2:I thought she wanted to move in with you, but she probably never does now, seeing that you just take your ex-girlfriend's stuff.

17:21Speaker 7:Just kidding.

17:22Speaker 5:That's a good point.

17:24Speaker 3:Dave, like, I'm sorry for keeping this from you.

17:26Speaker 2:I thought it was the best way, but I'm glad now that it's out.

17:30Speaker 6:In the open and we can keep going. All right.

17:32Speaker 5:Oh, that's nice.

17:33Speaker 2:Fresh start, and I'm sure the ex is not going to come back in any way, shape, or.

17:38Speaker 1:Form ever again. She's not going to get something else she wanted.

17:40Speaker 5:By the way, did she purchase any of your underwear for you? Because you better lock your drawers.

17:46Speaker 6:Thankfully, no. Okay.

17:49Speaker 4:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

17:50Speaker 5:I mean, that was, for lack of a better word, crazy. Yeah. I mean, Nick just seemed like he was in total shock by it. He wasn't even sure what to say in that situation.

18:03Speaker 1:None of us.

18:05Speaker 2:I feel like there's a backstory that this ex gave that made the current girlfriend feel fine.

18:10Speaker 5:Sympathy, empathy.

18:11Speaker 1:I feel like there's something about Nick's past, too, that maybe, I don't know.

18:15Speaker 6:Who knows?

18:16Speaker 5:She may have asked for the pieces of stuff back, and Nick kept shutting her down, or it blocked her.

18:21Speaker 6:Who knows?

18:21Speaker 1:Something.

18:22Speaker 5:But, Brooke, what do you think that their relationship is going to be like from here on out? It's not going to be the same.

18:28Speaker 6:Yeah.

18:29Speaker 1:What?

18:29Speaker 2:Why not?

18:30Speaker 1:An ex always makes things easier.

18:32Speaker 5:How are they just going to go back to having a normal dinner date tomorrow?

18:36Speaker 1:Well, I mean, it just depends if you still have plates left or something.

18:40Speaker 6:Yeah, or a table.

18:41Speaker 4:Who knows?

18:41Speaker 8:We should have sent him to his new girlfriend's ex's boyfriend's house.

18:46Speaker 7:No one thought of that angle.

18:48Speaker 5:That'll untangle it.

18:49Speaker 2:Yeah.

18:49Speaker 5:Totally.

18:50Speaker 7:Good thing I didn't speak up on that.

18:52Speaker 2:Good.

18:54Speaker 5:But we can try to help untangle whatever awkward situation your life is in. Email us. We'll give you our advice and let you call that person. Go check out all of our awkward calls. They're up online at Brooke and Jeffrey. Make sure you hit that subscribe button.