Second Date Update: The Muffin Lady

0:00Speaker 1:Hey, thanks for finding the official Second Date Podcast.

0:02Speaker 2:We are so glad you're here. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

0:04Speaker 3:Yes.

0:05Speaker 2:No matter how you got here.

0:06Speaker 4:And.

0:07Speaker 1:This is one you're not going to forget today, I'll tell you that. You'll never look at a muffin the same again.

0:11Speaker 2:No, or maybe a minivan, or just any of the stores. Honestly, kids ruin a lot of things for you.

0:16Speaker 1:Yeah, so enjoy the new episode here in a second, but first we'd love to highlight your comments.

0:21Speaker 3:Yeah, Kabooty commented on yesterday's Awkward and said, Brooke, you should be helping resolve the issue.

0:27Speaker 2:That's why they come to you, not to worsen the situation.

0:29Speaker 4:What?

0:29Speaker 2:Uh-oh, Brooke, you're in trouble. How did I make it worse? I didn't say it, they just said it.

0:34Speaker 5:The listeners are mad at you, Brooke.

0:35Speaker 2:I'm sorry.

0:36Speaker 1:There is no way you could make that man situation worse from yesterday.

0:40Speaker 2:He was a hot mess, okay?

0:42Speaker 1:All right. Well, listen, I guess Alexis will read the ones about how I suck at my job more often if you leave those comments.

0:49Speaker 2:A lot of them. Yeah, your brand new episode starts right now.

0:52Speaker 5:There's a lot of them.

0:53Speaker 2:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

0:58Speaker 3:What happens when your expectation of a date doesn't match what actually happens.

1:03Speaker 5:When you meet up?

1:04Speaker 2:Oh, you're just living in reality.

1:06Speaker 5:That's not what I mean. I'm just saying nobody's living there.

1:09Speaker 2:It happens every time, doesn't it?

1:10Speaker 3:No, like for example, I met up with a person one time nicknamed Oak Tree. And when I actually saw them, definitely not an oak tree.

1:19Speaker 2:All right, Jeff.

1:20Speaker 5:More like a sapling.

1:22Speaker 2:I don't want the tree analogy.

1:24Speaker 3:Well, that's just an example to lead into our listener, Vince, because he's saying he's been kind of disappointed in the dates that he's gone on, even though they are happening.

1:34Speaker 5:And he's hoping that we can help him. So, Vince, man, welcome to the show.

1:38Speaker 4:Hey, guys. How are you?

1:40Speaker 1:I thought for sure he was going to ask you about what type of tree you were.

1:44Speaker 3:We'll get into that later and I can send you pictures of the entire Arbor catalog. But Vince, I got to say, I'm a little bit confused because your email says it's not like the girl's ghosting you. You just don't like the dates that you two are going on.

1:57Speaker 5:Can you explain more what that means?

1:59Speaker 4:Yeah, they're not going the way I thought they would at all.

2:03Speaker 2:They, though, means multiple. You've been on more than one date.

2:07Speaker 4:Yes, we've been on a few, and each one gets weirder and weirder. I feel like I'm in an episode of Twin Peaks.

2:13Speaker 3:Oh, that's quite a reference, Vince. I'm sure some of our listeners will recognize what you're talking about, but go into the details. Like, what's happening with this woman that you're meeting up with? What's her name?

2:23Speaker 4:Her name is Jamie.

2:25Speaker 5:Okay.

2:25Speaker 1:And do we get to know how you met Jamie, or do we not have time since we have to go through multiple dates here?

2:30Speaker 4:No, no, no. I can say really quickly. We met online. We got along. I felt very comfortable with her. We had some great conversations. Okay. And I figured like, hey, you know, like for our first date, let's go to Target. You know, we can walk on Target and do a little shopping and then go get dinner. Wow.

2:48Speaker 5:That was your idea to do a Target date?

2:51Speaker 4:No, it was her idea to do a Target date.

2:53Speaker 5:Okay, that makes a lot more sense.

2:54Speaker 2:Yeah, it does.

2:55Speaker 1:I feel like we've heard of these before where women suggest something like this because they expect the man to pay for their daily groceries.

3:02Speaker 5:And they deserve to have their groceries paid for, too. You've got to add that in.

3:05Speaker 2:I know that I agree with that.

3:07Speaker 5:Okay, but what was the expectation?

3:08Speaker 4:Yeah, going into it, we didn't have any space of who's going to pay for what or what to expect.

3:15Speaker 2:Okay.

3:15Speaker 5:Okay, so what happened?

3:18Speaker 4:So we get there. We're outside laughing. We're talking. And I go, hey, do you want to go into the Target? And Jamie says to me, hey, I want you to check out my backseat. You should check out my backseat. There's a lot of room back there.

3:30Speaker 2:Wait, the backseat of the car?

3:32Speaker 4:Yeah, the backseat of her car.

3:34Speaker 5:That's kind of... forward the way that you're saying it well.

3:37Speaker 4:I assume that she had got it detailed.

3:40Speaker 1:That if a man says we had assumed kidnapping not detailed but.

3:44Speaker 5:This is a woman.

3:45Speaker 4:Saying it to him i don't know maybe girls think guys like cars and they want to see them i really don't know what was going on or what her motive was okay.

3:52Speaker 1:Okay so you go over to the car right.

3:55Speaker 4:We go over to the car i look at it it is a nice back seat i can't lie.

3:59Speaker 3:Hey all right all right that's good.

4:02Speaker 4:She says to me get in oh And then she closes the door.

4:06Speaker 2:Oh, my God.

4:06Speaker 4:And then she gets in the front seat.

4:07Speaker 1:What?

4:08Speaker 4:And then she starts driving the car around. What?

4:11Speaker 1:Can we go back to my kidnapping allegations now?

4:15Speaker 2:Are you freaked out?

4:16Speaker 4:Yeah, a little bit. Because I'm like, what's going on? We're supposed to go to Target.

4:20Speaker 1:And why are you in the back seat and not in the passenger seat if she's going.

4:23Speaker 2:To drive you somewhere?

4:24Speaker 4:So what happens is we pull up. She gets me out of the car and then she drives away. Well, we messed around a little bit before that.

4:31Speaker 5:Wait, wait, wait, wait.

4:32Speaker 3:What do you mean you messed around?

4:36Speaker 4:Well, I mean, after like 10 minutes driving around, we stopped somewhere. She got in the back of me. We fooled around a little bit. And then she kicked me out of the car and left.

4:43Speaker 2:What the heck? I can't. You're not in the Target parking lot anymore. You're away from your own vehicle at this point. She abandoned you.

4:52Speaker 4:I mean, I could get to my car. It wasn't that far away. But, like, she did literally just dump me out of the car.

4:57Speaker 2:And you went out with this woman again. Oh, yeah.

5:00Speaker 4:We go again. She wants me to meet her up at Great Clips.

5:03Speaker 5:Great Clips. Oh, you're getting matching haircuts.

5:06Speaker 2:I don't think they ever go inside any of these businesses, Jeff.

5:09Speaker 1:No?

5:10Speaker 4:No, we didn't go inside again. The same thing. She pulls me in the back, drives around, goes there. We fool around and she drives off.

5:16Speaker 5:It's just a.

5:17Speaker 2:Car hookup, buddy.

5:18Speaker 3:So, and your email said that you're really disappointed with how the dates are going. Which part of this is disappointing to you?

5:26Speaker 4:Well, I mean, I just don't know where she's coming from. And then every time I try to have a conversation with her, like, she just shoves muffins in my mouth.

5:32Speaker 2:What the?

5:35Speaker 5:I'm sorry. Is that a metaphor or a real muffin? Did you meet her? I can't stop.

5:41Speaker 2:I can't stop. What do you mean muffins?

5:43Speaker 5:Where's she getting muffins?

5:46Speaker 4:She makes them herself. Oh, wow. And she just hands me muffins when she's done with me.

5:51Speaker 1:Okay.

5:51Speaker 3:She drives you around in the backseat, has her way with you, and then shoves a muffin in your mouth that says, get out. Speechless. You might be the only man that has a problem with the way that this is going.

6:02Speaker 2:Now she's ghosting him, I'm guessing.

6:03Speaker 5:Oh, now she's ghosting you?

6:07Speaker 4:No, she's not. In fact, she's looking for more dates. And I'm assuming that it's going to be like the same type of thing, you know?

6:12Speaker 2:Yeah.

6:12Speaker 1:But you can only take so many muffins in one month.

6:16Speaker 4:I want a relationship. I don't want this.

6:18Speaker 3:If you want a relationship and something deeper with her, why don't you just tell her that yourself?

6:23Speaker 2:That's a good point.

6:24Speaker 5:Why do you need us to do that?

6:25Speaker 4:Because every time I try to talk to her, she takes charge of the situation, she wants to meet in person, and then I end up with a muffin in my mouth.

6:33Speaker 5:Okay.

6:33Speaker 3:Well, honestly, there could be things worse to be dealing with in a dating situation, but we're going to attempt to help you when we come back.

6:40Speaker 5:We will call the muffin lady.

6:42Speaker 2:I can't wait to meet her.

6:43Speaker 5:Me too.

6:44Speaker 3:And we'll try to convince her to go on an actual real date with you.

6:48Speaker 2:Yes, not to a bakery. Outside the car.

6:50Speaker 3:Outside of that backseat with your second date update right after this.

6:53Speaker 5:Hold on.

6:54Speaker 2:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Second date update.

6:57Speaker 3:If you're just joining us, our listener Vince has told us a very strange story.

7:02Speaker 5:Excuse you, Alexis. Don't laugh.

7:03Speaker 2:I honestly can't stop laughing at it.

7:05Speaker 5:Don't laugh. This is very serious. I do feel like I need to say this.

7:09Speaker 3:Is the story more weird or is Vince's lack of reaction to it the weird part?

7:16Speaker 2:That he wants more. You mean more in the relationship. Yeah, yeah.

7:19Speaker 4:I don't know.

7:19Speaker 3:He's treating this whole situation as kind of like a quirky, odd, circumstantial thing. But to us, it's just downright bizarre what's happening. Where he meets up with this woman he met online, Jamie. They'll meet up in front of businesses, but never actually go inside them. She just invites him into the backseat of his car, then drives him around, usually to other local parking lots, where they fool around together until she drops him back off at his car with a warm muffin.

7:49Speaker 2:Is it warm? I don't know if I got that detail, but I like it.

7:52Speaker 3:I'm picturing a steaming muffin going into his mouth. And Vince, what is the problem that you have with this arrangement exactly?

7:59Speaker 4:Well, I want something real. And if she doesn't feel the same way, I'm going to walk away.

8:04Speaker 2:Okay.

8:05Speaker 3:You're looking for something deeper with her, an actual relationship.

8:09Speaker 4:I can't have this conversation with her in person. I tried once and she just changed the subject. I just, I need your help guys. Okay.

8:16Speaker 2:So you guys do talk, which is good.

8:18Speaker 1:I mean, that's why I just pictured it like kind of driving in silence.

8:23Speaker 2:And him kind of scared.

8:24Speaker 4:No, no, she talks a lot. When she drives, you know, we love to discuss things and stuff. So she does talk quite a bit.

8:30Speaker 2:Okay. I am so curious to hear why. Why she does this.

8:36Speaker 5:Really, Brooke? Do you actually want to know why?

8:38Speaker 3:Because I feel like it might be a little frightening what you're about to hear.

8:42Speaker 2:Yeah, we need no more behind-the-scenes details on it. Okay, fine.

8:44Speaker 5:Brooke wants to steal tips from this lady on how to put men.

8:47Speaker 4:That's it.

8:48Speaker 2:I'm just looking for a muffin recipe, Jeff.

8:49Speaker 4:Okay.

8:50Speaker 2:I don't know what you're here for.

8:51Speaker 4:He actually gave me the recipe. If you want, I can forward it to you.

8:54Speaker 1:Oh.

8:54Speaker 3:We do a second date update for him. He gives a muffin recipe to us.

8:58Speaker 2:Yep, there it is.

8:59Speaker 5:We're all going to win. I'm going to dial her number right now.

9:02Speaker 4:Here we go. Hello? Hello?

9:11Speaker 5:Hey, we're looking to speak with Jamie.

9:13Speaker 4:This is her.

9:16Speaker 2:We are so excited to talk to you.

9:19Speaker 3:We're excited because we've heard a little bit about you. We're a radio show, by the way, Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

9:24Speaker 2:Hi, Jamie.

9:24Speaker 1:Hey. What?

9:25Speaker 2:Welcome to the show.

9:26Speaker 4:What is this?

9:28Speaker 5:Yeah, it's a show. We do a lot of segments on this about dating.

9:32Speaker 1:Mm-hmm.

9:33Speaker 5:Including this one called a second date update.

9:38Speaker 1:No, thank you.

9:39Speaker 5:No, no, we, we do have the right number.

9:42Speaker 3:You're actually the woman we've been trying to reach. Cause one of our listeners named Vince asked us to get ahold of you.

9:51Speaker 5:Yeah. Uh, yeah, I know him, but I, I don't want to talk about this.

9:56Speaker 2:You don't even know what we're asking yet.

9:58Speaker 4:It doesn't.

10:00Speaker 1:Matter.

10:00Speaker 4:I don't want to talk about it.

10:02Speaker 3:I think we all understand that you wouldn't want to talk about it, but if you actually care about Vince, I feel like you need to give us a little bit of information or he says that he's ready to basically walk out.

10:15Speaker 5:Of your life.

10:17Speaker 2:Doing that right away. They've only hung out twice, Jeff. So dramatic.

10:22Speaker 3:Well, yeah, maybe I need to be a little bit dramatic here because he told us about the situation that's going on and he isn't 100 percent happy with how it's going.

10:33Speaker 4:And he's never told me that.

10:34Speaker 2:Well, I think he tried to. It's hard to talk with a muffin. You seem to be a.

10:39Speaker 1:Very persuasive woman, and you have him under some sort of spell.

10:44Speaker 2:Is that a good way to put it?

10:46Speaker 5:Brooke's jealous of your magical abilities.

10:49Speaker 4:Well, I'm flattered.

10:51Speaker 5:I mean, I like him.

10:53Speaker 4:Okay.

10:53Speaker 3:Not going to lie, it makes me kind of sad that he wants to cut ties with me. Well, he wouldn't want to, but he's saying to us that you guys are planning these dates to do together, but you never actually end up doing the thing you plan.

11:10Speaker 5:Like he mentioned Target, and you never went inside Target. Oh, I told you a lot.

11:15Speaker 2:Yeah, he did share quite a bit.

11:17Speaker 3:Yeah, and we're just trying to get the scope of what's going on between you two. So he's confused why after you basically hang out, it sounds like in your car for a little bit, You kind of kick him to the curb.

11:29Speaker 4:Well, it's kind of an embarrassing reason, and I haven't shared it with him yet.

11:36Speaker 5:Okay, so you do want to share the reason.

11:39Speaker 4:Yeah, I want to. It just hasn't been the right time, and I don't know how to say it.

11:45Speaker 3:Well, this actually might be the perfect time for it because the way that these second-day calls work, is the other person agrees that they might hear something kind of out there or something embarrassing or weird, and they're okay with it.

11:59Speaker 5:They give their pre-approval.

12:01Speaker 4:Okay. Okay, this is the first time I'm saying this, so... Oh, God.

12:11Speaker 5:Sorry, I snort when I'm nervous.

12:15Speaker 2:That's okay. I snort when I laugh all the time.

12:19Speaker 4:Yeah.

12:20Speaker 5:You don't want to tell him what?

12:23Speaker 4:Okay, I'm banned from these places. What?

12:26Speaker 2:You're banned from the businesses that you.

12:28Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah. I don't want to get into too much detail, but I've been banned from these places.

12:35Speaker 2:So why would you ask him to meet you in front of the place then?

12:40Speaker 5:Because it gets me hot and bothered.

12:41Speaker 4:Oh!

12:42Speaker 2:Wait, you get it. You get turned on by being banned from a great club?

12:48Speaker 3:It turns me on to be in close vicinity to these places.

12:54Speaker 2:You know, it's the thrill.

12:55Speaker 4:It's the adrenaline. It's really hot.

12:57Speaker 5:What do you have to.

13:00Speaker 2:Do to get banned from a place like that? How many places are you banned from?

13:03Speaker 5:Brooke, are you happy that you asked this now?

13:06Speaker 1:I did think it was going to be you had a husband or something, and that's why you had to do it in the back of a parking lot.

13:12Speaker 3:So you're purposely taking him places that you're banned from because it gets you going.

13:18Speaker 4:I've said that already. What? It's humiliating.

13:21Speaker 2:I think you're fine. I think you're fine. I think that the problem is you don't do dinner first.

13:25Speaker 1:Like, I bet that he would be fine if you did the great clips in the Target after you had a real date.

13:31Speaker 3:In fact, let's hear it directly from Vince because you don't know this yet, but Vince is on the other line listening to this call waiting to talk to you.

13:38Speaker 2:Oh, it's like he's been banned.

13:41Speaker 4:Are you joking?

13:42Speaker 5:Are you kidding?

13:43Speaker 4:No.

13:43Speaker 5:I'm not. Vince should still be on the line.

13:46Speaker 4:Hey. Hey, I'm here.

13:47Speaker 5:Oh, there he is.

13:49Speaker 1:Yeah.

13:50Speaker 4:So you get turned on by hooking up in front of a great clip, is what you're saying?

13:56Speaker 2:She's like, how many times do I have to say it? And target. It's not the store. It sounds like the being banned is the thing.

14:03Speaker 5:Yeah.

14:04Speaker 2:I find that exhilarating, yeah, being banned from somewhere.

14:07Speaker 4:I'm going to guess like it was some type of shoplifting thing for Target, but why were you banned from Great Clips? You don't know shit, man. So you don't assume anything from any store.

14:18Speaker 5:Okay.

14:20Speaker 2:This is that take charge attitude.

14:21Speaker 3:But Vince, it must feel good that she wants to bring you to all these places that... get her feeling the way she feels yeah but.

14:30Speaker 4:Like i don't know what if she like punched the manager and he comes out to get lunch and he sees us making out in.

14:35Speaker 3:The back seat that's why i drive away oh okay.

14:42Speaker 2:Go see she's protecting.

14:44Speaker 5:You she's thought this through.

14:45Speaker 1:The one piece that's missing for me right now is the muffins why why do you do the muffins.

14:54Speaker 4:A little muffin on the way out.

14:57Speaker 2:But I think we're getting.

14:58Speaker 1:Too far away from what Vince's goal is, and that's to have a deeper relationship with you, right?

15:04Speaker 4:What do you mean, farther away? You asked about the fucking muffin.

15:08Speaker 1:Yeah, Brooke.

15:09Speaker 5:Brooke!

15:10Speaker 2:Valid point, you're right. I'm trying to steer myself back.

15:13Speaker 5:Brooke is right.

15:13Speaker 3:The reason that we do this call is to try and see if there could be a deeper connection, another date, where Vince is hoping to actually do an activity with you.

15:23Speaker 4:Can we go to like a restaurant or a store that you're not banned at and hang out there? What? But it won't turn me on. Yeah, but why do you have to be constantly turned on? Why can't I be constantly turned on? Am I just like a body to you? Is that what this is?

15:41Speaker 5:I don't give my muffins to anybody.

15:43Speaker 1:Okay.

15:46Speaker 2:She sees something in you.

15:47Speaker 5:I think that.

15:48Speaker 2:Was a compliment.

15:50Speaker 4:I don't know exactly what she sees. I'm even more confused now than before I called you guys.

15:55Speaker 5:I'm not sure why you would turn this down.

15:57Speaker 2:You could go to dinner and then get banned while you're there and then turn it into a future hot spot. There you go, Alexis.

16:03Speaker 4:I'm not into that. I don't want to get banned or get in trouble with the law. I've done some things in my past as well.

16:08Speaker 2:Oh, I thought it was because you were getting two shoes.

16:12Speaker 4:Do you know how turned on that made me when you just said that, Ben?

16:15Speaker 1:Okay.

16:16Speaker 2:I think we need to get off the phone, Judd.

16:18Speaker 1:Let's go.

16:18Speaker 3:It might take our producer a little while to go through all of our gift cards and find one that you're both allowed to be near.

16:24Speaker 2:Okay. Oh, Vince is fine with that. He's fine.

16:28Speaker 5:Vince is checked off. He's ready for his next muffin. Jamie, is that cool with you?

16:33Speaker 4:More than cool.

16:34Speaker 2:Oh, wow. I feel like this is one that I'm not going to need an update from you, too.

16:41Speaker 5:Not even if they go to Chuck E.

16:42Speaker 4:Cheese?

16:42Speaker 2:I don't think so.

16:44Speaker 4:I can't go there, either.

16:45Speaker 5:Yeah, that's so shocking.

16:48Speaker 2:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

16:50Speaker 5:I mean, look, everybody has got their kinks.

16:55Speaker 3:We don't try to shame anyone. Some people are into costumes and role play. Others are into back seats and getting 86ed from established businesses.

17:04Speaker 2:I mean, she's not doing any more harm.

17:06Speaker 1:No.

17:06Speaker 2:I still don't know what she did in those businesses. I want to know so bad.

17:11Speaker 5:But I got to say, I do think I get it a little bit.

17:14Speaker 3:Because I do feel a rush whenever I go to the mall where Jose and I were banned years ago for doing a stunt.

17:21Speaker 2:I forgot. They even had your pictures up.

17:24Speaker 5:They did. You have to. It's trespassing.

17:26Speaker 3:But they lifted the ban. And now whenever I go back there, I'm like, oh.

17:29Speaker 5:My God.

17:30Speaker 2:I'm here.

17:31Speaker 5:I'm here. This is so naughty.

17:33Speaker 2:I feel bad.

17:34Speaker 3:I still remember doing comedy shows practically in handcuffs when I used to have to go to that mall and perform.

17:38Speaker 2:They had to escort you in. In and out. I couldn't linger after the show.

17:42Speaker 5:They're like, all right, buddy, get out of here. So I will say there might be something to it. Those two.

17:47Speaker 2:I look for Jeffrey at the mall soon.

17:49Speaker 1:Yeah. Giddy.

17:50Speaker 4:Careful.

17:52Speaker 5:You don't know what mood I'm going to be in. But we want to put you in a good mood.

17:55Speaker 3:If you're struggling a little bit with your dating life, you can always email us. We'll call that person who's not calling you back. Make sure you check out and subscribe to all of our Second Date podcasts. They're up online at Brooke and Jeffrey.