Good Science: Hospice

0:00Speaker 1:The information provided on this podcast is uninformed and unreviewed. Good science does not do any research about any of the topics discussed and assumes no responsibility for errors or omission. That's good science. Greetings and salutations, America. Welcome to another episode of Good Science. I'm your host, the Health Secretary of the United States, who still has his job, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. Today, I'll tell you, we're going to talk about an issue that's really sticking in my craw. It's the elderly in this country. And why won't they die, for God's sake? The old are lingering around, sucking up resources, hoarding their money and real estate, and they're not giving anything back to us, the youth of America. As a young tween, I remember when my father graciously stepped out of the way with the aid of a certain Sirhan Sirhan, so that I could step into his place as a power leader in the Kennedy family. But today, too many old people are using hospice as some sort of club bed.

1:48Speaker 1:going into hospice care centers and sometimes spending 5, 6, 7, 8, 10 years hanging out.

1:58Speaker 2:And not dying.

2:00Speaker 1:In fact, there was a 2022 study that showed that the rate of unemployment for deaf doulas is has actually doubled in just six years. That means less people are exiting stage right, and there's more death doulas on your doorstep. Well, to discuss this and more with me is a man who could make the Grim Reaper double over in chuckles and burst into a pile of bones.

2:37Speaker 2:It's Kyle Clem. Bobby. Wow. Holy woly. What was that about?

2:46Speaker 3:Were you talking about yourself in that intro? Because you're a fucking old lady.

2:51Speaker 2:Hey, you better watch it, pal. First off, I'm a man. Don't misgender me.

2:55Speaker 3:Let me see up that skirt of yours.

2:57Speaker 2:What's up my skirt? Yeah, what's up that skirt?

3:00Speaker 3:What do you got between those legs, honey?

3:02Speaker 1:Just because I'm wearing an old field hockey skirt from a girl who happened to go missing in my class the same.

3:10Speaker 2:Year that I found it. Be careful, Bobby.

3:14Speaker 3:What? We're on the air. You don't want to be saying this stuff.

3:17Speaker 2:Oh, well, it's just a keepsake or a treasure.

3:25Speaker 3:A peepsake.

3:27Speaker 1:But yeah, I'm wearing this old teen girl's field hockey skirt because it makes my body Balls get bigger.

3:36Speaker 3:It makes your balls get bigger. Yeah.

3:39Speaker 2:How does that work?

3:41Speaker 3:Is that some old lady shit?

3:43Speaker 2:I'm not an old lady, Kyle.

3:45Speaker 1:I understand that you're doing some sort of routine where it's funny to make me an old lady.

3:50Speaker 3:Yeah, I got this old lady routine I do now.

3:53Speaker 2:Yeah, do it for me now, Kyle.

3:55Speaker 3:Okay. There's an old lady thing.

3:59Speaker 1:Yeah.

4:00Speaker 3:And she's like, she falls on the ground or something.

4:03Speaker 1:Right.

4:04Speaker 3:And then like, I don't know, she breaks both her knees and she's. I don't know. Tell them about her parents. Well, speaking of old ladies, I heard that you went to a fab birthday party last night.

4:22Speaker 2:Oh, man, you got to be kidding me.

4:24Speaker 3:No, I'm not. I'm serious. I'm serious.

4:27Speaker 1:Now, that's old-timey saying, Kyle.

4:30Speaker 3:What?

4:31Speaker 1:You gotta be kidding me. When you throw your head around a little bit, you go, you.

4:36Speaker 2:Gotta be kidding me.

4:37Speaker 3:You gotta be kidding me.

4:38Speaker 2:Yeah. I mean, listen, Cheryl's mother, Rosemary, turned 105 years old last time.

4:45Speaker 3:Jesus Christ. Yeah, and we all had to attend. So she was around during Eddie Murphy's time.

4:52Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, she was around during Eddie Murphy's time, during the whole period from the beginning of his career all the way to Beverly Hills Cop 3 set at that amusement park.

5:07Speaker 3:Not sure what you're talking about. Okay, so she turned 105, which means Cheryl must be, what, 90?

5:12Speaker 1:No, Cheryl is a ripe young somewhere in the 60s, I think.

5:19Speaker 3:I thought you called her a ripe young dinosaur.

5:22Speaker 1:Yeah, she's a ripe young dino. Yeah, but dino for dino-mite, not dinosaur.

5:29Speaker 3:Okay, all right. All right, so how was the party?

5:31Speaker 2:Did you fuck?

5:32Speaker 3:Was there coke?

5:33Speaker 2:Well, here's the thing. Yeah, there was coke.

5:37Speaker 1:Caffeine-free Coca-Cola, because those oldies will have a heart attack if they have any caffeine in them.

5:46Speaker 3:You hate soda, too, so you must have been disgusted.

5:49Speaker 2:I was. I threw up all over. I threw up. The minute I walked in, I power vomited all over the birthday cake.

5:56Speaker 3:Did you kill any old people?

5:58Speaker 1:Well, Kyle, this is the interesting thing. I got so angry because this was held at a hospice center. Now, the last time I checked, a hospice center is a place where oldies go to die, not to have a big party. In fact, why would a hospice center even have a function room? Nobody's supposed to be functioning at all in there.

6:21Speaker 3:Okay. And do you get along with this rosemary character. Oh, Cheryl's mom. You said, right?

6:28Speaker 2:She's my mother.

6:29Speaker 3:You're technically, she's your grandmother. If she's Cheryl's mom.

6:33Speaker 1:No, that's not how that works. She Cheryl would be my mother. Then if Cheryl is your mother, that's crazy. So you've been, you've been, no, no, no.

6:42Speaker 2:You have it wrong.

6:43Speaker 1:No, Cheryl is my wife and she was my lover and my wife.

6:48Speaker 2:Now she's just my wife and does. He's my lover.

6:51Speaker 3:So because you're having sex with her, she can't be your mother. Is that how that works?

6:55Speaker 2:Well, in many States, yes.

6:57Speaker 1:But, uh, of course, you know, if you have the story of Oedipus, he has sex with his mother and everything turns out fine for him.

7:07Speaker 3:Okay. So I don't want to hear any of that Greek bullshit right now, but I do want to know, do you get along with Rosemary?

7:18Speaker 1:You know, I'll tell you something. I, uh, old stereotype is true. I don't get along with Rosemary. She's always come when she used to, she used to live with us for a while and she would come in and, you know, I have my slippers on one side of my easy chair and my paper on the TV tray.

7:42Speaker 2:And I'd come in.

7:43Speaker 3:You got that little nightcap on too, right? And a candle in your hand.

7:47Speaker 1:I have a nightcap and a candle. How else am I going to see my way around the house at night?

7:52Speaker 3:Right.

7:52Speaker 2:And she'd come in.

7:53Speaker 1:Oh, Bobby, your slippers are in the middle of the room.

8:00Speaker 3:Classic mother-in-law.

8:01Speaker 1:Oh, Bobby, that newspaper has a dog.

8:05Speaker 3:Shit in it. Yeah, it's probably where Cheryl gets it, too.

8:09Speaker 2:Oh, Bobby, get that pillow off my face.

8:12Speaker 3:What are you doing?

8:13Speaker 2:You're pressing too hard.

8:16Speaker 3:So she's complaining when you're trying to put her out of her misery. That's not grateful.

8:22Speaker 1:But it's totally ungrateful. I mean, she stinks. Did you know that old people actually produce an enzyme that makes them stink like old people?

8:32Speaker 3:That's right. I heard about this study. You told me about it. So they actually produce an enzyme that makes them smell like shit.

8:40Speaker 2:Is that true?

8:40Speaker 3:Yes.

8:41Speaker 1:It's a 2025 study.

8:42Speaker 2:That was disgusting.

8:43Speaker 1:It was done actually by the Army Corps of Engineers, strangely. And they wanted to study the structural integrity of oldies skin. And they accidentally discovered that old body produces an enzyme that makes you stink like shit and piss.

9:04Speaker 3:So basically what you're saying is that old people don't actually, they shit out of their skin.

9:09Speaker 2:Yeah.

9:10Speaker 3:At a certain point, once you get hit a certain age.

9:13Speaker 2:Right. You are a shit bag. You're a cheesecloth.

9:17Speaker 3:You've got shit and your skin is so porous that the shit just comes out of the cheesecloth.

9:23Speaker 1:If you give an old person a twist, brown liquid comes out.

9:28Speaker 2:Like a towel. Like a towel.

9:30Speaker 3:That's incredible.

9:31Speaker 2:And it smells, and if you lick it, it doesn't taste.

9:33Speaker 3:Like- All right, I don't want- That's disgusting. I don't want to lick anything.

9:37Speaker 1:So it was a terrible birthday, and she's still alive, and I've decided this is a federal mandate I'm laying down right now. We are- If old people don't start dying fast in hospices- We'll do something about it.

9:54Speaker 3:Well, you're lucky because I have the opposite problem of you. And that's my grandma, you know, or God bless. her soul right she takes care of me she has a.

10:03Speaker 2:Soul uh.

10:06Speaker 3:I think so oh i i mean i don't know uh what a soul really is but i assume so everyone's got a soul right But she, my grandma took a spill. She fell. Because she's super bad. Yeah. I mean, it happened after, like, sort of like coincidentally after I pushed her. Oh, interesting. But she's called my sunglasses stupid. I got new sunglasses, new Ray-Bans, and she called them stupid. And then suddenly she fell.

10:37Speaker 1:Right.

10:38Speaker 3:Oh, okay.

10:39Speaker 1:So just to break it down, so you got some new Ray-Bans, which are stupid-looking glasses.

10:46Speaker 3:Okay, I wouldn't say that around me if I were you.

10:49Speaker 2:Oh, I mean, you said it, right?

10:51Speaker 3:I'm just saying I call that a transgression. I label that a transgression in my head.

10:57Speaker 2:I'm sorry, but you know what?

10:58Speaker 1:I don't want to be playing sports with anyone who's doing transgressions, okay?

11:04Speaker 3:Okay.

11:05Speaker 1:I don't need my daughter going to play sports with people doing transgressions, all right?

11:11Speaker 3:I'm just saying you fucked up, Bobby, okay?

11:14Speaker 2:I wasn't even there. Don't look at me, pal.

11:17Speaker 3:I wasn't even there. You just remember that, that you have transgressed, and you will get your comeuppance, just like my grandma did coincidentally.

11:25Speaker 2:Oh, my God. What are you?

11:27Speaker 1:I feel like you're Hannibal Lecter getting into my mind and somehow convincing me that I committed the crime.

11:33Speaker 3:Just be careful as well, sir. Anyway, so we're putting her in hospice now.

11:38Speaker 2:Oh, well, good luck.

11:39Speaker 1:You'll have her for the next 10 years.

11:42Speaker 3:Well, I did. That's why I kind of wanted to talk to you about this subject is because my grandmother's going into hospice.

11:49Speaker 2:I love that.

11:50Speaker 3:And I wanted to talk about what is that? What is hospice? Because I heard the doctor say she needs to go in there. Does that mean that she's going to stay with me still?

12:05Speaker 2:No, it's the opposite, Kyle.

12:07Speaker 1:So first off, I love this because your grandma took an accidental spill, not at all by your hand, despite you getting enraged and shoving her because she said your glasses look stupid, which I bet they did. Hey.

12:24Speaker 2:And I'm just going to tell you that I also.

12:31Speaker 1:Decided that Cheryl's mother will remain in hospice, this is like you and I are like Lady and the Tramp eating the pasta together, and we're about to kiss the topic, which is hospice. Hospice?

12:49Speaker 3:What is hospice?

12:51Speaker 1:Well, it's a spicy version of going to the hospital. It's right in the name.

12:57Speaker 2:You see, if you. Look at a hospital.

13:00Speaker 1:A hospital's drab and boring, and you get treated by doctors. Mild.

13:05Speaker 3:You could even call it mild.

13:06Speaker 1:It's mild. Yeah, you know, Hossmild, maybe. Hossmildable is a hospital. But hospice is a spicy, stinky place where the dead go to be smothered. Yeah, so hospice started when a bunch of nurses... got together and they said, hey, you know what?

13:30Speaker 2:These old people, we need to usher this along.

13:32Speaker 3:They fucking reek, essentially.

13:34Speaker 1:They reek.

13:34Speaker 2:They're stinking up the room. They're stinking up the hospital.

13:38Speaker 1:They're taking a bath.

13:39Speaker 3:No one wants to live with a fucking old person. That's just the truth. I feel that same way about you sometimes. It's like, I don't want to be around you. I wish I could put you in some sort of closet and For the rest of time.

13:53Speaker 1:No way, man. First off, this is my show, okay? This is my show. No, it's your show.

13:58Speaker 3:I'm just saying that there are times when I'm like, oh my God, I wish I could just hide this guy.

14:06Speaker 2:No, why would you want to hide me, Kyle?

14:09Speaker 3:Because it's just like annoying to deal with you. Just like it's annoying to deal with old people and we have to put them somewhere. And you're saying this is the spicy hotel that they're going.

14:20Speaker 1:This is the spicy hotel because we'll get back to what you said earlier. Cause I could be, I'm so young. I'm doing pull-ups. I'm doing pushups. I'm doing a new stretching routine.

14:33Speaker 3:I'm doing well. I mean, your hair's gray. You got fucking wrinkles. You talk like a horse.

14:38Speaker 2:Phil Donahue's hair was gray.

14:39Speaker 1:He was 40.

14:40Speaker 2:What are you talking about?

14:41Speaker 3:Phil Donahue? What the fuck are you even talking about?

14:45Speaker 2:Phil Donahue. Merv Griffin's hair. He was, you know.

14:49Speaker 3:Stop. Keep going back in time. The oldest person ever is Eddie Murphy. So don't go farther than that.

14:56Speaker 2:Merv Griffin was a hell of a talent.

14:58Speaker 3:So what happens when you actually enter hospice?

15:01Speaker 1:So first off, the way that we determine medically if you need to enter hospice is you stink, you don't know what's.

15:10Speaker 2:Going on, and you start breathing like this.

15:13Speaker 1:You're like....

15:15Speaker 2:You start breathing like Cosby.

15:17Speaker 1:In his birth bit. Which everybody loves Bill Cosby. And he does this bit where his wife is giving birth. And he does the breathing and he goes.

15:33Speaker 3:Well, as a comedian, I should definitely look into that. But this is only done in America, correct? Internationally, do they do crazier shit to old people or do they do more normal stuff?

15:44Speaker 1:Well, in Italy, it's called a husser spice. And in England, it's called Ye Olde Hot Hospice.

15:53Speaker 3:Okay, so everyone, it's basically like Epcot. You go to the hospice, and they're basically doing the stereotypical version of that culture.

16:02Speaker 1:You know, interestingly enough, we recently actually, through eminent domain, claimed the Epcot Center, and it is now the largest hospice in Florida.

16:13Speaker 3:So that big ball is where we're going to stuff all the Floridians.

16:19Speaker 1:We're going to stuff all the old Floridians in there, and then they get to choose.

16:23Speaker 3:So basically Jewish people.

16:25Speaker 2:Yeah, so it's a big ball filled with Jews.

16:29Speaker 3:Right, we all know Florida's where Jews go to die. There's getting too many of them now. Let's put them in that big gray ball.

16:36Speaker 2:Yes, yeah.

16:38Speaker 1:And the thing is, is that instead of Epcot Center, it's now going to be called the Matzah Ball. So it's just a large matzah ball filled with Jews.

16:49Speaker 3:Will it be painted to look like a matzah ball or will you keep it metal?

16:54Speaker 1:We're going to use AI, you know, the same technology that's currently used on the Vegas Eye. is going to be deployed on the Epcot ball.

17:08Speaker 2:The sphere, you mean?

17:09Speaker 1:The Vegas Eye.

17:12Speaker 3:You're calling it the Vegas Eye.

17:14Speaker 2:That's not an eye. That's what they call it.

17:15Speaker 3:No, it's the sphere.

17:17Speaker 2:They call it the eye.

17:18Speaker 3:Jesus Christ, you're getting so fucking old. I'm telling you, you're starting to lose.

17:23Speaker 1:It, Bobby. And so they're going to make the digital projection of a matzo ball. And so when the Jews are brought towards it, they'll be like, oh, this is nice.

17:35Speaker 3:Is that what's going on in the sphere, too? Because I hear there's old bands like they have the Backstreet Boys playing there. They have, you know, like they have Phish playing there. So is that where old bands go to die in the Vegas ball?

17:48Speaker 2:Yes, this is.

17:49Speaker 1:So the Vegas ball or I is the hospice for old bands. So we're actually, see, we're expanding hospice. And again, just to add, so you're breathing heavy, you stink. OK, you don't know what's going on.

18:09Speaker 3:Right.

18:09Speaker 1:The hospice nurses are trained to identify when you're going to die. And then they go, all right, let's shove them in a bed and then watch them breathe heavy until they die.

18:21Speaker 3:And then what happens? Are they taken care of or they just close the door and leave them in there? Is there someone who helps them through the process?

18:30Speaker 1:Yeah, they come in, the nurses come in, and they go on either side, and they go, Kalima!

18:37Speaker 2:Kalima!

18:39Speaker 1:And they put their hands on them, and they say a bunch of chants, and they lift the body up, they raise the body up with their hands.

18:51Speaker 2:They go, out, spirit, out! It's time to go!

18:54Speaker 3:Sort of like they're giving birth. But to their soul.

18:59Speaker 2:They're giving birth to death, which brings us to the death doula, Kyle.

19:04Speaker 3:The death doula.

19:05Speaker 1:So you have a birth doula, which is usually some, you know, hippie bitch who hasn't shaved her fucking pits in 10 weeks.

19:13Speaker 2:Who's there to have you fucking shit your baby.

19:16Speaker 1:Out in a tub.

19:17Speaker 3:Sounds kind of hot.

19:18Speaker 2:Oh, yeah.

19:19Speaker 1:Are you kidding me? There's nothing harder than having sex with a mom right after she's given birth, because she's the most opened up she'll ever be.

19:29Speaker 2:Jesus Christ.

19:30Speaker 1:And that's a medical fact.

19:32Speaker 3:Okay, you're a rip chaser, I heard.

19:34Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm a rip chaser. You know what I'm talking about?

19:38Speaker 3:Tell me, I really am interested, though, in what happens when you die, right? What happens medically when you die, when these people go, these old people?

19:49Speaker 2:Okay, so.

19:50Speaker 1:man so the medical you know there's been a number of studies uh that have shown that death is not maybe a death but a beginning of a deadly life so you reincarnated The team here at the CDC has actually been studying this. We actually followed a university study that was strangely run by Kiefer Sutherland back in the 1980s. Interesting. This study was an underground study done by a number of medical students, including the very beautiful and sexy– she was in Pretty Woman– Uh, and you know her by the name of Sabrina Carpenter.

20:40Speaker 2:Uh, she was, uh, uh, uh, what the hell's her name?

20:47Speaker 3:Julia Roberts.

20:48Speaker 1:What's her name? Julia.

20:50Speaker 2:No, no, that's not it.

20:52Speaker 3:Uh, uh. Mikhail Gorbachev. I'm just going to name people that I know from history.

20:59Speaker 2:It's Julia Roberts. Yeah.

21:01Speaker 1:Mikhail Gorbachev was in the sequel, Pretty Woman 2.

21:04Speaker 3:That's right. He was the hooker in that one.

21:07Speaker 2:That's right.

21:09Speaker 1:You couldn't make that movie today, Kyle. I'll tell you that.

21:14Speaker 3:I guess he got jizzed on by Grimace. Is that what happened?

21:19Speaker 1:Yeah, it was a McDonald's tie-in. It was actually a six-minute commercial done. Pretty Woman 2 was a six-minute long commercial film by McDonald's.

21:30Speaker 3:And Grimace came all over his face, and that's how they justified the purple birthmark.

21:36Speaker 1:Yes, and the whole thing is that Grimace comes grape jelly. And so it was for the introduction of McDonald's breakfast bakery, which is very short lived. And Mikhail Gorbachev comes in and in broken English, he says, excuse me, I would like a muffin. And they're like, we don't serve breakfast here at McDonald's, only sausage, egg and cheeses and McGriddles. And then Grimace fucking burst through the door. And he punches the McDonald's employee in the back of their head and their head explodes in blood.

22:17Speaker 2:And Gorbachev turns.

22:19Speaker 3:And he says, good memory of this.

22:21Speaker 2:His arms are crossed. He goes, yes, yes.

22:25Speaker 3:And where does the pretty woman aspect come in?

22:28Speaker 1:Well, Gorbachev turns around and he spreads his ass cheeks and says, I'll give you my butt pussy for a muffin. And Grimace says, no, thanks. I'm about to come. I don't need that hole. And then grape jelly bursts out. And right then Gorbachev turns and it freeze frames as it hits him in the head, making the birthmark. And he smiles. And then the voiceovers, a stiff sort of male voiceover comes in. It's like now new breakfast muffins at McDonald's. Try them today.

23:18Speaker 3:Okay, so is there a heaven and a hell? What happens when you die? Because I want to know, my grandma might be going there soon.

23:28Speaker 1:Well, you never know. God will, inshallah, as they say. So, you know, there's the medical diagnosis of death. So death is when brain activity and heart activity change. But actual death is the point at which cellular decay occurs, and there is no more cellular matter being produced by the body.

23:55Speaker 3:And that's when medically you become a ghost?

23:59Speaker 1:Well, there are different stories surrounding what happens at death. Many hospice nurses and death doulas have reported that people who are nearing death actually start to speak to relatives or people they knew who passed Kyle.

24:19Speaker 3:So I will be able to hug my grandmother even after she dies, is what you're saying.

24:25Speaker 1:Well, actually the opposite, Kyle, which is that when you're on your deathbed, you might see your grandma while you're still alive.

24:35Speaker 3:I just don't know who's going to cook for me once my grandmother dies, who's going to change me. I mean- What? I'm sorry.

24:41Speaker 1:What did you just say?

24:43Speaker 3:Who's going to take care of me, essentially, or.

24:45Speaker 2:Who's going to change you, Kyle?

24:48Speaker 3:I just....

24:50Speaker 2:Do you not know how to go to the bathroom on your own?

24:54Speaker 3:Yes, of course I do.

24:56Speaker 2:So then who's... Why are you being changed? Do you have accidents?

25:00Speaker 3:I just mean, like, changed, you know, emotionally.

25:04Speaker 1:Oh.

25:04Speaker 2:Really, Kyle?

25:08Speaker 1:My.

25:09Speaker 3:I just... It would happen one time, and I just don't want to speak about it. It's just one time.

25:15Speaker 1:One time?

25:16Speaker 2:Now, did you make a soft mess, or did you make a wet?

25:19Speaker 3:I don't really want to get into it, but it was a mistake. It was an accident, and it wasn't like it happens regularly.

25:28Speaker 1:Well, you know, sure, Kyle. We all have stories we tell ourselves. I know the last time I made a soft mess- It was in some boxer briefs.

25:40Speaker 2:So it caught it before.

25:41Speaker 3:So you are, you're telling me that you are shitting yourself. Cause that's another indication that you're getting old.

25:48Speaker 2:Oh, it's an indication that I'm getting lazy, baby.

25:52Speaker 3:Well, I don't know about that.

25:54Speaker 1:I'll be sitting in that easy boy and I'll go, well, I could get up or I could just mess it here. You know?

26:02Speaker 3:I don't know. It sounds to me. Okay. Like, you're starting to get old and it's, I don't know. So let's talk about hospice in the United States. Okay.

26:14Speaker 1:I want to finish with death real quickly, Kyle, which is that then what occurs is the ghost phase. So when you ghost, there's a lot of studies to show a recent TikTok study that was done showing that people are jumping realities constantly. There's a theory, for instance, that when you die in one reality, you simply awaken in the other one still alive.

26:40Speaker 3:Like the matrix.

26:41Speaker 1:Exactly. So that every time you die, you just are like, for a moment, you're like, oh, what, what? And then you're like, oh, I'm back at my computer. And so that happens over and over again. Another belief in different cultures is that Heaven and hell are simply constructs of our own unified version of reality, meaning that we either believe in a heaven or a hell and send ourselves there as a punishment. And of course, being a Catholic, I believe in the Almighty God. And his son, Jesus Christ, who will bring judgment and rain it down on me with his fire eyes.

27:24Speaker 3:So you're saying my grandmother, who also was a evil person when she was younger, she might be going to hell.

27:34Speaker 2:Well, now your grandmother was a guard at Birkenau, right?

27:36Speaker 3:That's correct.

27:37Speaker 1:Okay.

27:38Speaker 3:But I do want to know, is that why we put people in hospice? Because they are evil.

27:48Speaker 1:Well, if you have to think about it, if you're going to hospice, it's because nobody loves you and you're all alone, which means you probably were an evil person.

27:57Speaker 3:Yeah.

27:58Speaker 1:So you're evil if you're in hospice because you're old and alone, and that's because you deserve it. And everyone knows old people who have people around them don't go there.

28:09Speaker 2:They die easy.

28:10Speaker 3:That makes sense. Right. Now, people... are saying that there is a lot of abuse going on in hospice care. That they're putting people who aren't even sick in there to get the money. Is that true?

28:24Speaker 2:Well, we, you know, so there are.

28:27Speaker 1:So this is the thing about hospice.

28:30Speaker 2:As far as I'm concerned, it's a churn and burn. Okay.

28:34Speaker 1:You know, I mean, your grandmother would understand that as a guard in a concentration camp, you got to get them in and get them out. And, you know, my feeling is, is that hospice is like a vacation.

28:47Speaker 2:I mean, it's like, we're.

28:48Speaker 1:Going away to Hawaii for what, you know, you're going in there to die.

28:53Speaker 2:So die already.

28:54Speaker 1:Okay. Our tax dollars are going to pay for these extended stays for these old people. Are you saying hospice is a scam? It's a huge scam, Kyle. As it is now, it's a huge scam.

29:08Speaker 3:So what should we be doing with these old people? Because I keep hearing that even though they go into hospice, these people are being treated terribly. Is that true or is it like a vacation like you're saying?

29:21Speaker 1:First off, they're taking care of really well.

29:24Speaker 2:Okay.

29:24Speaker 1:Just think about this. Old people, when they're alone, they're sleeping in their own shit. They've got that stinky skin. They're talking to old ghosts.

29:33Speaker 2:Okay.

29:34Speaker 1:They're going crazy. They're disgusting. But when they're at a hospice or a care facility, they're having sex at least twice a day by different Staff workers who are making them involuntarily.

29:47Speaker 3:They're eating filet mignon in these hospitals.

29:50Speaker 2:Oh, yeah. They're eating cock and they're eating filet mignon.

29:53Speaker 3:It's like Club Med, essentially.

29:56Speaker 1:It is Club Dead, really, when you think about it, because they are all supposed to die.

30:01Speaker 3:So they're basically sucking up these resources that we could be using for what? Pickleball courts? for like what else ball court dance party uh dwarf basketball uh uh really tiny baseball uh soccer uh.

30:21Speaker 1:With your thumbs supplements tiny sports you know right all.

30:25Speaker 3:These type of things that we want to implement throughout the country what.

30:28Speaker 1:About a mass supplement distribution program what about uh what about uh the.

30:34Speaker 3:Orgy education department you said you wanted to start.

30:37Speaker 1:Yeah, the orgy education department, how to better get yourself slick, the ad council ad, you know, get wet in 10 minutes.

30:47Speaker 3:The cock tanning program.

30:50Speaker 1:There's the breast lift. Just get it out. There's another sign, see, that you are.

31:04Speaker 3:A little bit slow to the take today. I don't like it.

31:08Speaker 2:Breast scaffolding, you know?

31:10Speaker 3:Okay, well, what is the answer here? What is the answer here for these old people? If this is a scam and some of them aren't even sick and then they're basically vacationing, they're going on a vacation.

31:23Speaker 2:Right.

31:24Speaker 3:So if all these old people are just... faking it and they just need to die and they're scamming the entire country. How do we change the system? How do we change the hospital?

31:36Speaker 1:I'm glad you asked because, uh, you know, obviously we can't, you know, older people are living longer. They're a burden on our economy, on our resources. They're taking too much medicine. They take too much air. They're drinking too much water. They're taking all the Tylenol there and they're becoming, you know, what happens even if you're old, You take Tylenol, you become autistic.

31:59Speaker 2:Now you're like a double burden.

32:01Speaker 1:Okay.

32:01Speaker 3:You're autistic.

32:02Speaker 2:You're Tylenol. You're old.

32:05Speaker 3:So what do we do with all these old people? How do we change the system?

32:08Speaker 1:There's a massive burden on our healthcare system. And that's why Kyle and your grandmother is going to benefit from this program.

32:16Speaker 3:And hopefully my.

32:18Speaker 2:Mother-in-law as well.

32:20Speaker 1:I will be implementing through the CDC and HHS a new national hospice program.

32:28Speaker 3:Wow.

32:28Speaker 1:A seven-step system called the Pumpkin Hospice Latte Program.

32:35Speaker 3:That's incredible. You heard it here first. Tell me what this is about. This is interesting. How are you rehauling the system?

32:44Speaker 1:Well, first off, we have a seven-step system. All right.

32:48Speaker 2:And the first is.

32:49Speaker 3:Now, seven is right after.

32:52Speaker 1:It's after six and before eight. Okay. Six, seven. And that's what the young kids are doing, Kyle. Like you, you're a young kid.

33:02Speaker 3:Yeah, which means.

33:04Speaker 1:I asked you this before we get into the seven steps. Now, Kyle, you're an old... You know, you're still young. You're 44 years young. No, I'm 25.

33:14Speaker 2:Oh, oh, okay.

33:15Speaker 1:Well, I was going to say, what do you think about younger comics who are coming up at the mothership who want you to step out of the way?

33:22Speaker 3:Uh, they got to earn it. Okay. Uh, they suck. So, but I actually do in my head, I think that old people should step out of the way for young people. You know, I really do like the old people need to move on, like get over it. You're fucking old. I I'm glad I'm not there yet.

33:45Speaker 1:Okay.

33:46Speaker 3:So you were saying, what is this hospice program?

33:48Speaker 2:Okay. So first we have the whole spice girls. Okay.

33:52Speaker 1:And this is for men only. This is step one.

33:55Speaker 3:All right.

33:56Speaker 1:So these are men's only host hospices, but they're called host spices.

34:01Speaker 2:All right.

34:02Speaker 1:And this is where we have sex workers from around the world who are flown in to these special facilities. These are great facilities because we're saving on bedding, we're saving on toilets, everything. It's just a large octagon room that's filled with bathroom tile that's slightly slanted downward towards a large drain in the center.

34:28Speaker 3:And this is the whole spice.

34:30Speaker 2:This is the whole spice girls.

34:31Speaker 1:And the old men are just, they're laid on these plastic mat pillows in a circle at the very outer edge of the top of this sloped, uh, um, you know, tile room. And then the ho, Spice Girls, the sex workers, come in, and they just jack them and suck them and fuck them until they die.

34:53Speaker 3:Okay, so this is how you would get rid of these old people quicker, you're saying.

34:57Speaker 1:Right, because then these men, think about the best way to die. Kyle, the best way for a man to die.

35:03Speaker 3:A shot to the head.

35:05Speaker 2:No, it's a big.

35:06Speaker 3:It's someone choking you.

35:08Speaker 2:Oh, it's a big choking your chicken.

35:10Speaker 1:Drowning, I guess. Choking your fucking hog, man.

35:13Speaker 3:Oh, I didn't even think about that. Yeah, I guess that would be good, too.

35:15Speaker 1:And you see, women, the reason we don't do this for women is because they take too fucking long to come.

35:21Speaker 3:If they ever do.

35:22Speaker 2:If they even bother. I've never seen a woman do it, but I've heard it.

35:25Speaker 3:I've never seen it either.

35:26Speaker 2:I've never seen Cheryl. I've seen Cheryl.

35:28Speaker 1:I mean, Cheryl's a great actress, for sure.

35:30Speaker 3:Cheryl's, who's Cheryl?

35:32Speaker 2:That's my wife.

35:33Speaker 3:Oh, right, right, right.

35:34Speaker 1:Are you kidding me?

35:35Speaker 2:You don't know who Cheryl is?

35:37Speaker 3:No, no, I know about your wife. Okay, so what's step two?

35:40Speaker 1:Well, wait, I want to say that the men, they come, they die, and then they shit, because when you die.

35:47Speaker 3:You shit like this. You want to talk more about coming and shitting. Okay, go ahead.

35:49Speaker 1:Well, because then they slide, because of the angle of the tile.

35:55Speaker 2:They slide down the center drain.

35:57Speaker 3:Okay, down.

35:57Speaker 1:Then the drain opens. Into a crematorium. Wow. So, so all these old people, they all, so then the cum and the jizz and everything just slides down there.

36:09Speaker 2:Then you wash it and then you put more old men. Very efficient.

36:13Speaker 3:It's efficient. I can see how that's efficient.

36:15Speaker 1:Okay.

36:15Speaker 3:So that's great. So that helps get rid of a lot of men. What's step two in the hospice program?

36:32Speaker 1:We're doing plays on the hospice, so this is called horse piss. And horse piss is for the ladies. And, you know, we just have giant fat. You know, one of the largest volumes of liquid produced in the United States every year is horse piss.

36:50Speaker 3:And why is that? Why do we have so much horse piss?

36:53Speaker 1:Well, because horses have big cocks, Kyle, and so they make a lot of piss.

36:57Speaker 3:Well, the expression, I have to piss like a horse, what does that mean? That's a lot of pee?

37:02Speaker 1:I have to make a lot of pee-pee, and that's because a horse makes a lot of pee-pee. So because horses have bigger bladders, they take on more liquid. They're drinking more liquid from the rivers and the different dales and. lakes and wherever they're in the country.

37:16Speaker 3:Bring a horse to water, right?

37:18Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, I mean, think about everything about a fucking horse is it's got a big cock.

37:23Speaker 2:It's pissing all the time. It's drinking water.

37:25Speaker 1:I mean, that's everything about a horse is it's consumption of liquid and production.

37:30Speaker 3:So the gift horse, they're talking about water gifting a horse.

37:33Speaker 1:Yeah. Well, you don't look at gift horse in them. Don't lick a gift horse in the drink, in the drink. Yeah. So, So then old women, you know, it's always like, what do you do with an old woman?

37:47Speaker 2:Well, I don't know.

37:48Speaker 1:Put her in horse piss. You know?

37:53Speaker 2:What else to do?

37:55Speaker 3:You're right. I don't know what you do.

37:57Speaker 2:What else do you do with an old woman? Just drown her in horse piss.

38:00Speaker 3:Okay, what's step three?

38:02Speaker 2:This is Mos Bliss. And Mos Bliss, this is great.

38:06Speaker 3:This sounds like a Star Wars name, Mos Bliss.

38:09Speaker 1:That's Mos Eisley. Uh, which is where, yeah, that's, that's most icily. He's a hive of scum and villainy. Kyle, be careful when you go down there.

38:19Speaker 3:Which is what old people are anyway. Maybe that's where they got that.

38:23Speaker 1:Well, if we could send Pete, it's just not cost effective. You know, president Trump.

38:28Speaker 3:Had suggested, do that planet's real.

38:30Speaker 1:Well, Sidesleeve is a town on the planet Tatooine, which is in a galaxy.

38:37Speaker 3:I didn't know. I thought Star Wars is... I didn't know it was a documentary.

38:40Speaker 2:Yeah, Star Wars is real, Kyle. Yeah, everybody knows that.

38:44Speaker 3:Yeah. Oh, my God.

38:45Speaker 2:It's all real, and it's just it's so far away, you know. We can't get to it.

38:50Speaker 3:It's a galaxy far, far away.

38:52Speaker 1:Well, this is why they didn't have to worry about telling the story of Luke Skywalker and crew and family. be that they didn't have to worry about a lawsuit is because you can't sue people into galactic far away.

39:06Speaker 3:You can't sue people from far away. I can't sue anybody from I'm in Los Angeles. I can't sue anybody from where, from how far do they have to Singapore?

39:15Speaker 2:You can't sue them in Singapore. That's the line.

39:18Speaker 1:If you cross the tie, the line into another day, that's long, long ago.

39:24Speaker 2:And Singapore is far, far away.

39:26Speaker 1:Okay.

39:27Speaker 3:All right. So what is Moss Bliss?

39:29Speaker 1:Oh, it's, it, this is a Irish practice, ancient Irish practice, the Kennedy family and the Fitzgeralds.

39:37Speaker 2:We practice this.

39:39Speaker 1:And if you live near a bog, a body of water, a mossy area, you take the old people on a foggy morning and, And you take them out there into the boggy, marshy areas, and you just wait for them to trip and fall. And then they'll land usually face down in an inch of water. And that gets rid of a lot of people. It's very quaint, and it's sort of waking sweet. I would say maybe we should have a.

40:08Speaker 3:Lottery for those people, because that feels like a great way to go.

40:11Speaker 1:Well, it's funny that you should mention that because the movie Waking Ned Devine is about a man who... What the fuck are you talking about? Great indie movie from the late 90s.

40:23Speaker 3:All right. You're really starting to lose it and you're starting to piss me off because you don't listen to... When I tell you something, we talked about these old references multiple times.

40:34Speaker 2:I'm sorry.

40:35Speaker 3:Oh, Kyle, I'm sorry. Don't apologize. It actually makes it worse.

40:38Speaker 2:I'm sorry, Kyle. Don't be mad at me.

40:40Speaker 3:I love you. Just go to step four.

40:44Speaker 2:Oh, boss kiss.

40:45Speaker 1:So this is, we're just thinking of different ways to expedite the death of elderly people.

40:52Speaker 2:And to execute that expedition.

40:54Speaker 3:I love that. That's so fucking cool.

40:55Speaker 1:So Boss Kiss is where, you know, old people, we make them get jobs, which is great for the economy. You know, they get jobs. They go into the workforce. And then we have them kiss the young bosses. You know, and I don't know if you've ever kissed an old person. At least this is what Cheryl tells me is that it's disgusting. That it's vile.

41:20Speaker 3:So you are admitting that you are old. Okay.

41:22Speaker 1:Oh, I think she's talking about other old men she kisses for money. So she, this is what she's told me. So the boss will be so disgusted that they'll kill them on the spot. And President Trump.

41:37Speaker 3:Pretty easy boss kiss.

41:39Speaker 1:Any boss kiss, any boss kiss murder will be immediately expunged from the boss's record.

41:47Speaker 3:Well, that's. That's unbelievable. I mean, are you my boss? I can't tell.

41:52Speaker 2:Yeah, if you kiss me, Kyle.

41:57Speaker 3:I'd get so angry that I'd fucking kill you.

42:00Speaker 1:No, but I'm your boss, so I would kill you, Kyle, and then I would not go to jail.

42:05Speaker 3:Yeah, but maybe that's why you don't need to be the boss anymore. Okay, let's go to step five.

42:10Speaker 2:Angela Glossmas.

42:14Speaker 1:Make old people spend time with teens doing makeup tutorials.

42:19Speaker 3:Get ready with me.

42:20Speaker 1:Well, so old people spend time with people doing get ready with me, these makeup tutorials. And then the elderly commit suicide when they see what's happening to society. Because old people will go, oh, this Jezebel.

42:34Speaker 3:What is she doing? Well, you know, as a young person, I would like to offer my services. Have you ever done a get ready with me, Kyle? I just mean that, like, I do a lot of crowd work, okay? We know that. It's 99%, maybe 100% crowd work. And I do want to say that, like, I... what they say I do on stage is actually kill. Right. So what I want to do is maybe I'll offer my services, put an entire room of older people in a room and I kill them with my standup.

43:10Speaker 1:You know what? I think that I'm that's step six. I'm replacing step six with, with crowd work, crowd work clips. Yeah.

43:19Speaker 2:Crowd work clips because it clips. Yeah.

43:23Speaker 1:It's, it's, it's, uh, uh, uh, you know, funny clips.

43:30Speaker 3:Well, yeah, it's probably, imagine dying from terrible stand-up. That would be actually a good, I mean, a way to suffer and go. And that's what we want to do to these old people anyway. We want to make them suffer.

43:41Speaker 2:Do a little crowd work.

43:43Speaker 1:Let's do a little crowd work.

43:46Speaker 3:Okay. Hey, sir, what do you do?

43:47Speaker 1:Oh, I'm the health secretary of the United States of America.

43:52Speaker 2:Oh, yeah?

43:52Speaker 3:Well, everyone's getting sick from all these fucking recalls, and everyone's fucking dying, and the measles are spreading, so you're a fucking lame old piece of shit who can't handle anything.

44:05Speaker 2:Fuck it.

44:05Speaker 1:I'll fucking grab your fucking throat. I'll choke you to fucking death.

44:10Speaker 2:Get him out of here.

44:11Speaker 1:Get him out of here. Get this fucking guy out of here. Get me out of here. Nobody get me out of here.

44:17Speaker 2:I'll tell you what.

44:18Speaker 3:You are going to be, Bobby, you better be careful because you're going to be taken out of this comedy club. And when I say comedy club, I.

44:23Speaker 1:Mean this world. Whoa. Wait a minute. You better.

44:27Speaker 2:That was pretty funny, Kyle.

44:28Speaker 1:Oh, man.

44:29Speaker 2:You really roasted me there.

44:31Speaker 3:Step seven, Bobby.

44:32Speaker 1:The Carousel Protocol, okay? Now, this is otherwise known as the Christ Protocol. This is the easiest one. Personally, I've pitched it to President Trump a number of times.

44:46Speaker 2:Let's face it.

44:48Speaker 1:Anyone over 33 is useless, okay? I mean, first off, women over 33. Well, luckily, I'm 25. Right, but at 33, everything starts going to pot, okay? Men become useless. Women become useless. You're basically already over the hill when you turn 33.

45:08Speaker 3:That's where 33 is the age Jesus.

45:12Speaker 1:And that was when Jesus got crucified.

45:15Speaker 3:Oh, I thought he... Wait, he got crucified?

45:18Speaker 2:Jesus Christ.

45:19Speaker 3:I thought he died surfing. I thought he died surfing.

45:23Speaker 2:Jesus H.

45:24Speaker 1:Christ. No, he didn't die surfing. He died maybe surfing. You're thinking of Neo, and he died surfing the net. But that's because he really entered the Matrix.

45:36Speaker 3:But he is a Christ figure. Right. I'm just, like, all mixed up. Okay.

45:41Speaker 1:So everyone dies. Let me explain what happened to Jesus real quick. So Jesus was a real pain in the ass to everybody. And despite trying to be popular by making fish and bread for everyone, which everyone was like, hey, man, guess what? There's nothing more gross than like fish that's wet with bread.

45:59Speaker 3:And then he started annoying everyone at 33. He started to know.

46:03Speaker 2:Well, yeah.

46:03Speaker 1:And it's also like, if you're gonna, you know, why don't you make some hot dogs, make a beer, you know, make some potato chips, fish, bread, and fucking wine.

46:13Speaker 3:No, no.

46:13Speaker 1:Yeah.

46:14Speaker 2:He made red wine.

46:15Speaker 3:And what do we, yeah, we're not French.

46:17Speaker 1:White wine goes with fish, not red wine. So this guy had no palate. He was pissing everybody off. He was a neb. He was a nudnik. It was a real pain in the ass. And so the Jews got together and said, we got to get this guy.

46:36Speaker 2:But ironically.

46:37Speaker 3:So it was the Jews. Wow.

46:38Speaker 1:Well, you know, what's interesting is they tried to cover their tracks by putting them on a cross instead of a giant star of David.

46:45Speaker 2:You know, one of the guys.

46:47Speaker 3:I heard they put cheeseburgers around his body so they would think that they weren't there.

46:51Speaker 1:It wasn't them. Well, that's what it was. So the original pitch by Judas was, we'll strap him onto a big pole. Star David, and then roll him through town and pelt him with gefilte fish. And someone said, Judas.

47:04Speaker 3:They're going to know it's us.

47:05Speaker 1:They're going to know it's us, buddy. You got to come up with a cover story. So they came up with, what if we put cheeseburgers and milkshakes around a cross?

47:14Speaker 3:Bacon, yeah.

47:15Speaker 1:And bacon, and then nail his hands into the cross with.

47:22Speaker 2:Nails made out of bacon. While he's surfing.

47:25Speaker 1:While he's surfing. Yeah.

47:28Speaker 3:Okay.

47:28Speaker 1:So then he died. And then three days later, of course, he became a super ghost.

47:34Speaker 3:Well, that's okay. That's where the super ghost comes back. And he was able to.

47:38Speaker 2:Here's the thing about Jesus. I've never.

47:40Speaker 1:He comes back. He comes out of the cave. He's like, guys, I'm a ghost. Can you believe it? And then immediately he's like, I'm out of here, which seems like, wouldn't you hang around?

47:50Speaker 2:And show your ghost powers.

47:52Speaker 3:I feel like I would go to the rest of the ghost world and I would hang out and do ghost stuff.

47:57Speaker 1:Well, when you go show off that you were a ghost for a little bit.

48:01Speaker 3:So, okay. I just have a, it's really funny because you said that everyone at after 33 is useless. Does that include you? You're older than 33.

48:13Speaker 1:Well, I present, uh, the current, uh, uh, administration officials will be exempted from, from the carousel protocol.

48:22Speaker 3:Well, that's really, really convenient, okay? It is, yeah. And this is why, you know, like people talk about boomers, how they're overstaying their welcome. And I just feel like it's really convenient that you, a fucking boomer, want to get rid of these hospice old people, but you don't want to leave yourself.

48:42Speaker 1:No, of course not. I'm vivacious. I'm vibrant. I'm Vivica Fox.

48:48Speaker 3:You just don't want to give up Your stature and your status in this. No, no, no. You don't want to give up your status, your power.

48:56Speaker 2:No, who does?

48:57Speaker 1:I'm going to hang on as long as I can, Kyle.

49:01Speaker 3:You should know that one day, it's always been my dream that this podcast becomes my podcast. Why?

49:07Speaker 2:You don't know anything about health.

49:09Speaker 3:Well, I'm learning from you, right? If you don't think I'm learning and taking in this information, you are a don't i don't.

49:17Speaker 1:Piece of shit well repeat one fucking thing back to me that i told you today in the podcast.

49:24Speaker 3:Okay you said that when you die uh you become a ghost.

49:32Speaker 1:No, I said that when you die, you become yourself again in another reality.

49:39Speaker 3:Okay, so yeah, I could always watch it and just repeat that stuff.

49:44Speaker 2:You're useless.

49:44Speaker 1:You're just doing the old episodes again.

49:48Speaker 3:No, I'm doing medical crowd work is what I'm doing.

49:51Speaker 2:Okay, let's try that. What's that like?

49:54Speaker 3:Medical crowd work?

49:55Speaker 1:Yeah, let's pretend I'm in hospice and I'm not going away.

50:00Speaker 3:Hey, what's wrong with you? Hey, what's wrong with you?

50:07Speaker 2:Hey, look at this guy.

50:08Speaker 3:Get him out of here. Get him out of here. He's breathing too hard.

50:13Speaker 1:The fuck?

50:14Speaker 3:That seemed too real, Bobby.

50:16Speaker 1:Uh-uh.

50:18Speaker 3:That seemed way too real.

50:19Speaker 2:I was just, that's what a person in hospice is like.

50:22Speaker 3:All right, we got to wrap stuff up because I'm worried about you. All right, let's wrap it up. Why don't you give your final diagnosis? I just say that we're done. I'm wrapping about the end. All right, why don't you give your diagnosis, Bobby, your diagnosis.

50:38Speaker 2:It's my diagnosis. Today, folks, our.

50:42Speaker 1:Hospice system is broken. We have too many holdies and they're driving too slow in the left-hand lane and they own property and they're keeping all their money and they're going into hospices for seven or eight years like it's a fucking retirement community. These people won't die. They won't go away. They're occupying spaces of power wherever you look, and they're not letting younger people.

51:08Speaker 3:Hey, Bobby, before you finish, can you do me a favor, Bobby? Sorry to interrupt. I just sent you some e-doc. Can you just sign it in your email? I just need you to do me a favor. It's just for the podcast. They're bothering me at iHeart here.

51:24Speaker 2:Okay, hold on. There we go. Bobby K., And send.

51:30Speaker 3:You sign it?

51:30Speaker 2:Yeah, I send it.

51:31Speaker 1:That's good.

51:32Speaker 2:There we go.

51:33Speaker 1:Anyway.

51:34Speaker 3:You fucking moron.

51:36Speaker 2:What?

51:36Speaker 3:You moron.

51:38Speaker 2:Are you talking to me or your grandmother?

51:39Speaker 3:Yeah, you just signed away the podcast. What? And you just signed away your... You're going to hospice.

51:45Speaker 2:The fuck are you talking about?

51:46Speaker 3:I told you you were turning old. And you're scaring me.

51:49Speaker 2:I'm not going to hospice.

51:50Speaker 3:It's time for you to get the fuck out of this podcast and give it to me.

51:53Speaker 1:What?

51:54Speaker 2:You can't do that to me.

51:55Speaker 3:Oh, yeah? Well, you just fucking signed it over. It's too late, bitch.

51:59Speaker 2:Wait a minute. Why do I hear an ambulance? I hear an ambulance.

52:02Speaker 3:You're going to hospice.

52:04Speaker 2:Are you fucking... I gotta finish. I gotta wrap up the show.

52:07Speaker 3:This is my show. No, no, no. This is my show now. What? It's my show. I get to give the diagnosis.

52:13Speaker 1:No, Kyle.

52:13Speaker 3:You're gone, you fucking boomer. No. You're going to the Epcot Center. You're going to the Epcot Center.

52:23Speaker 2:All right, America.

52:25Speaker 3:Here's my fucking final diagnosis. America's doing great. We're all good. And all these fucking boomers are going to be sent to Epcot Center. where it's going to be turned into a fucking huge matzo ball, and everyone's going to fucking roast, and we're going to launch that ball into space and make a new planet called Mos Eisley. Fuck yeah, baby. Make America great again.

52:55Speaker 1:Good Science is a production of Silly Gilly, Big Money Players, iHeart Podcasts, and 137LTD. Hosted by Anthony Atamanek as RFK Jr. And Gil Ozary as Kyle Quim. Senior producer and audio engineer Emma Erdbrink.

53:17Speaker 2:Supervising producer Victor Wright. Our executive producers are Lindsay Hoffman and Jack O'Brien.

53:27Speaker 1:Created by Anthony Atamanek and Gil Ozary. And special thanks to our AI therapists, Terry and Michael.

53:39Speaker 2:New episodes drop every Tuesday.

53:43Speaker 1:And follow us on Instagram and TikTok at GoodSciencePod. And follow, like, and subscribe our YouTube channel, GoodSciencePod.