Good Science: Total Recall

0:00Speaker 1:The information provided on this podcast is uninformed and unreviewed. Good science does not do any research about any of the topics discussed and assumes no responsibility for errors or omission. That's good science.

0:32Speaker 2:You can fit a lot of little balls in your mouth, right?

0:34Speaker 1:Blueberries on Mars Farms.

0:37Speaker 2:I kind of think Joe Rogan's stupid.

0:39Speaker 1:Oh my God, you got three tits, Kyle! Hey, everybody. It's me. Bobby K.J. Welcoming you to another episode of Good Science. Kyle and I just went to the farmer's market to get some of the freshest food and produce, snacks and bespoke treats to chow down on our snacky episode. You know, there's nothing better than living in a free country where you know that you can eat wonderful, delicious food anytime, anywhere, without any fear whatsoever. Many people around the world have to worry about various taints and poisons that come into their food and water supply. But not us.

1:40Speaker 1:Not in the United States of America, where we take care of our people, and more importantly, we take care of our food. And by the way, he's the freshest berry in the bunch. He's funny. He's fresh. He's a little leafy once in a while after the comedy show, if you know what I mean. It's Kyle Quim.

2:07Speaker 2:Bobby! What's up, baby? Look what I got.

2:12Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, you guys, you finally got you got in that line like three hours ago.

2:19Speaker 2:Yeah, it was a three hour line at the farmer's market. But it's absolutely delicious. You guys have to try this. Cuado coffee is incredible.

2:29Speaker 1:Oh, Cuado coffee. It's so delicious. It will warm your insides.

2:34Speaker 2:Yeah, it's incredible.

2:35Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm eating. What are you eating?

2:38Speaker 2:Yeah, what are you eating? What did you get? Oh, I am a blueberry. That's hilarious. What does that mean? Are you actually?

2:44Speaker 1:Am I actually a blueberry, Kyle? I don't. I hope not. Because if I am, I'm juicy and someone's going to eat me. I'm eating these fresh blueberries. Remember when we went bobbing for blueberries a couple of weeks ago?

3:02Speaker 2:Yeah, we went bobbing for blueberries, folks. It was wild.

3:08Speaker 1:That place was called Mars.

3:10Speaker 2:How did you get in your mouth at the same time?

3:13Speaker 1:Oh, man.

3:14Speaker 2:You could fit a lot of little balls in your mouth, right?

3:17Speaker 1:I can fit a ton of little balls in my mouth. I can jiggle them all around, gargle them up and down. And if you have the balls, too, to a tiny sort of sack, I can get so many in there.

3:30Speaker 2:Now, does it matter if they're blue balls or not?

3:32Speaker 1:Oh, well, I mean, no, any kind of ball.

3:36Speaker 2:Wait, so blue balls contain more juice, right? Because you haven't let it out in a long time.

3:41Speaker 1:Yeah, that's the thing. Well, that's exactly right. I don't know why you keep calling them blue balls. They're blueberries. But yeah, blue balls contain pent-up juice. that's just been building up inside the berry. Right. So then you get them in your mouth, Kyle, and you burst them in your mouth, and all that juiciness goes right down your throat.

4:02Speaker 2:Finally, and if you don't, the blueberries are actually in pain. Is that true?

4:07Speaker 1:I don't know. We should do a study about that, Kyle.

4:10Speaker 2:Do fruit and vegetables actually feel pain?

4:13Speaker 1:Well, you know, it's interesting. There was actually a 1972 study done for a film called That was a Stevie Wonder film.

4:25Speaker 2:This is around when Eddie Murphy was.

4:28Speaker 1:Yes, Eddie Murphy was out on the comedy circuit. A young man out in Long Island performing at various shows. I think it was actually Rodney Dangerfield who gave him one of his first shots. But it was The Secret Life of Anne's. says they did tests and showed that, for instance, if you put a match on a plant leaf, a plant on the other side of the room would be like, oh, fuck, you're burning me.

5:03Speaker 2:Oh, shit, like a twin.

5:05Speaker 1:Yeah, so they say that maybe there's a network of pain receptors or sensory receptors. We know the mycelial network of mushrooms.

5:17Speaker 2:What is that?

5:18Speaker 1:Mycelial network.

5:21Speaker 2:My Ciala?

5:22Speaker 1:My Sharona Network.

5:25Speaker 2:My baloney has a.

5:26Speaker 1:First name.

5:29Speaker 2:It's... It's my Sharona.

5:30Speaker 1:O-S-C-A-R. My baloney has a second name. It's K-E-N-N-E-D-Y. Right?

5:41Speaker 2:Okay, so you're saying that plants actually can feel things. Are they screaming when we eat them?

5:47Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm fine. Of course I am.

5:51Speaker 2:God, this fucking coffee is incredible, by the way.

5:55Speaker 1:Well, the plants, yeah, each time I eat a blueberry, I hear it scream. It's horrible. Are you all right? Yeah, I'm okay. You know, I'm just so glad that we have done so much to protect our food supply, Kyle. You know, it's really important that, uh, Where.

6:13Speaker 2:Did you get those blueberries, by the way?

6:14Speaker 1:Oh, I wanted to mention that of all the places we went to, these blueberries are from Mars Farms. Blueberries on Mars Farms. And they are just delicious.

6:31Speaker 2:Mars Farms, where is that located?

6:34Speaker 1:Mars Farms? Well, it's located.

6:39Speaker 2:In the United States, obviously.

6:41Speaker 1:In Indiana. Indiana.

6:42Speaker 2:In Indiana.

6:43Speaker 1:Michigan. I'm sorry. It's in Michigan.

6:46Speaker 2:It's in Michigan.

6:47Speaker 1:Right next to a big lettuce factory. Wow.

6:52Speaker 2:All right.

6:52Speaker 1:Well, that's. Marsberry Fives. Who would have thought? Blueberries on Marsberry Fives.

6:58Speaker 2:You know? Yeah. Well, it's crazy that you're eating blueberries because I've heard some really weird stuff in the news lately. And I wanted to ask you about it.

7:12Speaker 1:Uh, yeah, sure.

7:14Speaker 2:And it's, it's these recalls that are going around. Uh, I've heard a lot of stuff being announced in the news lately about different items, different foods that are being recalled for some sort of contamination. Can you talk about that?

7:34Speaker 1:No, you know, first off, I've got to say everyone's blaming. First, there's always trouble with, foods okay you know there's always food problems i'm not the first person to be the health and humans.

7:46Speaker 2:Right your fries get there they're not cooked enough something's too salty there's always food problems.

7:52Speaker 1:Yeah there's always a food problem you know your fish is sticking to the pan or you know someone dumps hot mcdonald's coffee on your pussy like that's just how it goes this is life okay when you live in a free country kyle you you have to accept it's gonna be a little bit of risk that there's going to be problems, okay? And I want to say, you know, we were regulating up the wazoo. So, you know, if you're a regular farmer like at Marsberry Farms, you know the different regular, you have to buy a particular type of, you know, fertilizer.

8:28Speaker 2:What does that mean? What does regulate mean? We know about Warren G, but what does regulation actually mean? And why did you put an end to it?

8:39Speaker 1:Well, because, so regulation, in its most positive sense, regulation is when, like, okay, you had, remember when your mom, before she died, or your grandma, who was like your mom, okay, and she would say to you, Kyle, you've eaten two and a half boxes of pudding pops. You're going to shit yourself, you fucking bitch.

9:07Speaker 2:Which I eventually did.

9:08Speaker 1:Right. And so she would be regulating you by saying, Kyle, you can only have four pudding pops.

9:16Speaker 2:So you're saying regulation means being a bitch.

9:19Speaker 1:Exactly. Regulation means being a bitch. And so imagine a national grandma. who's keeping us from doing what we want to do when we want to do it. That's regulation. So regulation, yeah, regulation.

9:35Speaker 2:So you put an end to that, you and Trump.

9:37Speaker 1:Yeah, me, well, I did, first off. Okay, Trump, you know, listen.

9:42Speaker 2:So you're taking credit for Trump.

9:44Speaker 1:Well, President Trump, you know, he's a very busy man, you know, and he has a beautiful life. Young woman right now. Beautiful hands, by the way. Beautiful hands. We're talking about I'm a blueberry. He's a blueberry.

9:57Speaker 2:He's got blueberry hands.

9:58Speaker 1:He's got blueberry hands. He has blueberry hands. Yeah.

10:02Speaker 2:And is blueberry hands an actual medical condition?

10:04Speaker 1:Yes, it is. He loves blueberries, too. And his new assistant that looks like his daughter feeds him blueberries every morning. And he, you know, when you eat too many blueberries, you turn into a blueberry. This was documented in the documentary about the candy man.

10:24Speaker 2:Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Now, I feed Joe Rogan blueberries.

10:30Speaker 1:And does he have blueberry hands or blueberry tits?

10:33Speaker 2:He doesn't yet, but he said he's too young to get them. Do you get them at a certain age?

10:38Speaker 1:Is that how it works? That's over 75. You're over 75 years old and you consume too much blueberries, you get blueberry mittens is what the actual term is.

10:49Speaker 2:Blueberry mittens, I see.

10:50Speaker 1:Because eventually your fingers fill with so much blueberry juice and your skin becomes blueberry skin and then it joins together. And if you don't stop, you just have two big blueberries as hands, like two round blueberries. That's incredible, two mittens.

11:07Speaker 2:The fingers actually become... Okay, so you have actually had to.

11:13Speaker 1:Well, I had to fire... I had to fire the old regulator and hire a new regulator.

11:20Speaker 2:You hired a new regulator, a new administrator of recalls. What's his name?

11:24Speaker 1:Well, so his name is– so we hired a new administrator of recalls, okay, and we fired the old one because we wanted to make sure that when we were doing recalls, they were total. And so this guy, Vince Cohagen– is incredible. Cohagen is doing the best job you can do to recall things, but he's going, he's getting out of control right now, and he's recalling too many things. And if you do what he's calling for.

11:57Speaker 2:Is that a bad sign? Is this a bad sign? No, it's not. No, it's not.

12:04Speaker 1:No, no, it's fine. It's fine not to... Well, here's the thing. You want to recall things because you don't want to get hurt or accidentally eat a bag of glass, but you don't want to regulate the people producing it. And so this is a way where you can recall, which is entertaining and interesting. And isn't it exciting every day, Kyle, to wake up?

12:33Speaker 2:I wake up. I get excited about it.

12:35Speaker 1:Yeah. Recalls actually are helping. They're helping the industry. Think about this. Think about industry. If you produced a bunch of potato chips and they've got little turtle shits in them. Yeah, like a little turtle gets loose in the potato chip factory and it's shitting all in the bags, okay? So then everyone buys the bags of potato chips, right? And they go, oh, shit. Vince Cohagen steps in and says, total recall of the potato chips. Then they take them all back, right? We'll get jobs. Think about the jobs, Kyle.

13:12Speaker 2:You're saving a ton of jobs.

13:14Speaker 1:Yeah, because now it would make a new.

13:16Speaker 2:So recalls actually means more safety for our... Yeah, that's crazy. That's fucking unbelievable, because.

13:20Speaker 1:Regulate on the back end, Kyle, you know?

13:24Speaker 2:I don't know what that means.

13:25Speaker 1:Well, it means that instead of forcing someone to wear a seatbelt, right? Okay. And then controlling them and making them do something they don't want to do because they want to move all around while they're driving. Okay. And then let's say they slam into a tree. They get recalled to heaven. And then they go and live with God. And then a new baby is born. And then that baby decides it makes its own decision.

13:58Speaker 2:You're talking about reincarnation.

14:00Speaker 1:Yeah, that's part of a recall.

14:02Speaker 2:Recall is actually like a reincarnation. That's crazy.

14:05Speaker 1:Well, recall is the ultimate. I mean, recall. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Human death is the ultimate recall when.

14:11Speaker 2:You think about it. Whoa, hold on a second.

14:14Speaker 1:Yeah.

14:14Speaker 2:That's crazy to think about.

14:16Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. And then you get put back on the shelf. Is that written down anywhere? Huh?

14:20Speaker 2:Is that written down anywhere? Are you drinking from a Pizza Hut cup? What the fuck is that?

14:25Speaker 1:Oh, yeah. When we shut the Pizza Hut. So, you know, recently we had to shut down a number of Pizza Huts because they were actually unionizing and making too much money. President Trump stepped in and sent the National Guard in and executed the owners of the franchises in front of the staff. Wow. And then, yeah, and then the staff were.

14:45Speaker 2:Each marched out. At the salad bar, right?

14:47Speaker 1:That happened at the salad bar. Well, you know why? Because they put the staff behind the sneeze guard. Because... You wanted to teach him a lesson, but you don't need to get them covered in brains and stuff. So, you know, you put the staff behind the salad bar, then you execute gun top of the head down, blowing that guy so that when the pressure builds at the top of the head, the eyes and the skull burst open and brain and blood just fly out.

15:14Speaker 2:You almost sound like a secret agent or something. The fact that you know all this.

15:18Speaker 1:I watch Paramount Plus as the agency.

15:19Speaker 2:I know you're a doctor, but maybe you're a secret agent. Maybe, I don't know.

15:23Speaker 1:Yeah, you watch Paramount Plus as the agency with Michael Fassbender?

15:29Speaker 2:No, I've never known him.

15:30Speaker 1:Wow, that's a good one.

15:44Speaker 2:Okay, well, I wanted to ask you a question. Are you scared... Are you scared that you're going to get fired? There have been so many recalls every single day. Are you worried about your job? Because Trump may get– you know Trump. He hates bad press, right?

16:02Speaker 1:Well, yeah.

16:03Speaker 2:How do you know he's not going to throw you under the bus, boss?

16:06Speaker 1:I'll tell you why. Because he's got a girl. How's that? You like that coffee? It's good. Okay, so how do.

16:13Speaker 2:You know you're not... Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you.

16:15Speaker 1:How do you.

16:16Speaker 2:Why... Are you... You're not scared?

16:18Speaker 1:That's why I'm... No, because... First off, he's got a girl who looks like his daughter, and he's putting his finger in her pussy.

16:25Speaker 2:So he's a little. He's a little preoccupied, you're saying.

16:30Speaker 1:Yeah, this girl, she's like, I'm your daughter. I'm your daughter. You can do me, and it's not incest. And we have a baby. We don't have to drown it.

16:40Speaker 2:Is it true he's thinking about recalling all women who aren't his daughter?

16:44Speaker 1:Yeah, it's going to be a fee call, and it's going to be all the women that President Trump doesn't think are attractive.

16:52Speaker 2:Or look like his daughter.

16:53Speaker 1:Yeah. or look like his daughter, or speak up too much, or ask him questions, he's going to bring them out to a series of facilities he's built.

17:03Speaker 2:To pizza huts.

17:04Speaker 1:Yes, to pizza huts. But it's big pizza huts.

17:07Speaker 2:Like a large pizza hut. That's what the White House is, right? That new ballroom is actually a large salad bar.

17:15Speaker 1:It's a large salad bar, but it's also got a Chinese. It's got a Panda Express.

17:23Speaker 2:Oh, wow.

17:25Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.

17:25Speaker 2:The new ballroom. Oh, I fucking love Panda Express.

17:28Speaker 1:Yeah, it's got Panda Express.

17:29Speaker 2:Does it have a Cinnabon?

17:30Speaker 1:It's got a Cinnabon. It's got an A & W root beer stand. It's got a- DQ? Yeah.

17:40Speaker 2:It's got all the initials.

17:44Speaker 1:And it's got a Hudson News. It's going to have a Hudson News in it. But only he can go in it.

17:52Speaker 2:That's crazy.

17:52Speaker 1:Yeah. Which is where you could be invited. But anyway, yeah, he's good.

17:56Speaker 2:You're not scared that you're going to get fucking fired.

17:59Speaker 1:I'm, you know, I don't know why he keep bringing this up, Kyle. You know, when you have a bad set at the mothership, like you did the other night, cause I happened to hear about it from, uh, Dan Soder who, uh, called me and he said, Oh, you should have seen Kyle's shitty set at the mothership.

18:17Speaker 2:First of all, I didn't know you talked to him, but okay.

18:20Speaker 1:I like that, actually.

18:22Speaker 2:The truth is, is that I'm always, I'm nervous I'm going to get fired from the mothership as well. You know, Joe Rogan is my Trump.

18:32Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly. Well, so what do you think? You think you're on the chopping block?

18:37Speaker 2:Well, I just, I think, I kind of think Joe Rogan's stupid, you know, and I don't want to say anything about it to him. I feel like we're in the same situation. We've got to help each other out.

18:51Speaker 1:No, President Trump isn't stupid. President Trump is a great leader.

18:56Speaker 2:Okay, I guess I'll take the example from you. Joe Rogan is a brilliant comic.

19:02Speaker 1:Yeah, there you go.

19:04Speaker 2:What's wrong with you?

19:05Speaker 1:Don't bite the hand that feeds you, buddy. I mean, you understand we're all in on the same grift.

19:10Speaker 2:Well, I would only bite it if it's a blueberry hand.

19:14Speaker 1:Oh, yeah.

19:14Speaker 2:Oh, I tried to take a nice bite out of Trump's hands.

19:19Speaker 1:Do you know I did? We were at a cabinet meeting and he put his blueberry hand a little too close to me.

19:26Speaker 2:He tries to hide it, too.

19:28Speaker 1:He was trying to hide it. He knows it's juicy and tasty. And I was like Peter Rabbit. So think about it this way. I was like Peter Rabbit hopping around the field, which was the cabinet room.

19:40Speaker 2:And he's Farmer McGregor.

19:41Speaker 1:And he's Farmer McGregor hiding his little blue sweet blueberry hand where nobody can see it. But I hopped around and went. under the table and I took a chomping and a stomping and a licking and a hopping.

19:56Speaker 2:And I know. Did it taste like a blueberry?

20:01Speaker 1:No, it tasted like bile and diarrhea.

20:06Speaker 2:That's disgusting.

20:07Speaker 1:Jesus. It was a surprise. Actually, speaking of spraying diarrhea, Kyle, I think I'm going to get ahead to what you talk about. Yeah. We can't stop people from making diarrhea when they're picking. Kyle, I have a question. If you had to go out into a field and pick lettuce for 18 hours a day with no toilets, don't you think you'd spray diarrhea all over the place?

20:33Speaker 2:Yes, I mean, yes.

20:36Speaker 1:Well, so that's the price of fucking admission, America. If you want that sweet, sweet, cheap lettuce.

20:42Speaker 2:You're actually blaming the workers.

20:45Speaker 1:Of course I'm blaming the workers. Who else is making diarrhea all over the place?

20:48Speaker 2:Well, that's the thing. Why are these recalls happening? Why are these contaminations happening?

20:54Speaker 1:Because people are pussies. No, it's not contamination, Kyle.

20:58Speaker 2:There's a study. I'm hearing stuff about bacteria. What the fuck is a bacteria?

21:02Speaker 1:I'm sorry. Bacteria is living on you right now, Kyle, on your face and your eyes. Yeah, you have the whole ecosystem. It's a sort.

21:09Speaker 2:Of alien from Mars, I feel like.

21:12Speaker 1:Yeah, it could be. There is evidence that there is life, bacterial life on Mars. It's very possible. And they say, actually, that the Mars farm blueberries have some. They're grown, fertilized from some of the retrieved bacteria from the Mars rover.

21:34Speaker 2:Are there cows on Mars?

21:36Speaker 1:Secretly, yeah. They're in caves. They're cave cows.

21:40Speaker 2:Yuck. Yeah.

21:42Speaker 1:They're cave cows on Mars and they make green milk. And if they, like we saw in the last Jedi. Yes. And that's, and you know, the thing is everyone goes, Oh, Luke's drinking green milk. No, Mark Hamill gets, he gets exclusive green milk shipped in from Mars. He's one of the few people.

22:03Speaker 2:And it just shows a blue on camera.

22:06Speaker 1:It shows a blue on camera. Cause a blue screen cow. Cause you know, uh, uh, It's a reflection. George Lucas is the last person to still use blue screen. He refuses to use green screen.

22:18Speaker 2:Humans. Humans.

22:20Speaker 1:No, he hates humans.

22:22Speaker 2:Okay.

22:23Speaker 1:Diary is fine to consume.

22:26Speaker 2:We actually should get to our list.

22:32Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, Kyle. We've got to do this list. This recall list. And it's a mandate by federal regulation, one of the few I haven't been able to overturn. And as much as it bothers me, we have to do this. And I just want to say that, Listeria, okay? The listeria hysteria is ridiculous. It's okay for there to be a little listeria and you toughen your gut up.

23:01Speaker 2:It's actually listerical that people are doing that.

23:04Speaker 1:That's right. That's what I was going to say, Kyle. And diarrhea. Everyone knows that a little bit of shit is good for the gut. It's a probiotic. You should be eating more lettuce right now. It's like being, finding gold in dirt.

23:22Speaker 2:I mean, people are on Ozempic. Why aren't they happy about some, like, back like diarrhea that's coming from lettuce yeah you lose.

23:32Speaker 1:Some weight also what the fuck is everyone complaining about everyone wants to lose some weight stop eating it's a perfect time to stop eating because you can't eat any food the recalls are actually good for us this is a new list that was just released today of additional products that are now being recalled Frozen blueberries.

23:52Speaker 2:Iceberg lettuce.

23:53Speaker 1:Shell egg.

23:54Speaker 2:Eye drops are being recalled.

23:55Speaker 1:Outshine fruit bars.

23:58Speaker 2:All salt.

23:58Speaker 1:Delberry Farms. Stupid yogurt twisties.

24:02Speaker 2:McDonald's ass nuggets.

24:04Speaker 1:Handy's fantastic otter bacon strips.

24:06Speaker 2:Wu-Tang Clan's inspected duck sauce with chili flakes.

24:10Speaker 1:Wowzer turdberry blast.

24:12Speaker 2:All pussy and penis has glass.

24:14Speaker 1:Wowzer poison fruit rolls. And Wowzer old skin chews.

24:18Speaker 2:Condoms have been contaminated. With mama's red meat sauce.

24:22Speaker 1:Bipolar alpine freeze pineapple and turkey juice pox.

24:27Speaker 2:Horses in Central Park.

24:28Speaker 1:Old granny's chicken pox.

24:30Speaker 2:Tyson Foods dirty arugula bag.

24:32Speaker 1:Debra can't conceive mac and cheese.

24:35Speaker 2:Family farms incest in a bag. contains sesame seeds.

24:39Speaker 1:Sweaty Stepdaddy's Garden Center Mulch.

24:42Speaker 2:Dan and Yogurt is filled with pubes instead of fruit at the bottom of the cup.

24:46Speaker 1:Bubba's Blubber Bites.

24:48Speaker 2:Reggie Watts.

24:48Speaker 1:Alan Silvestri's Symphony of Chocolate Back to the Fudger Brownie Bites.

24:53Speaker 2:Pizza Hut Hot Stuff Cheesecocks.

24:56Speaker 1:2026 Nissan Sentras.

24:59Speaker 2:P.F. Chang's Frozen Dingleberry Dumplings.

25:02Speaker 1:Henry Kissinger brand frozen dumplings. Kosher chicken sticks.

25:07Speaker 2:Boston Dynamics rabid robot wolf.

25:10Speaker 1:Say goodbye to granddad's country coffins.

25:13Speaker 2:Heinz blood balls and Dr. Plumpkin's shit nuts.

25:16Speaker 1:Andrea Yates brand baby sleep formula with zinc.

25:20Speaker 2:Chaz Dean scalding shampoo.

25:22Speaker 1:Glen Gary Glen Moss organic lawn treatment.

25:25Speaker 2:Feet above the size nine.

25:27Speaker 1:Marlon Blando frozen haddock fillets.

25:30Speaker 2:Wegmans shrimp war vein crisps.

25:32Speaker 1:Cirque du Soleil entropy, a Vegas experience.

25:36Speaker 2:Leather Cheerios that contain little wet stones.

25:39Speaker 1:Little fucking bunny carrot cocks.

25:41Speaker 2:Waymo Johnny Cabs and Cohagen's Air is being recalled.

25:46Speaker 1:That's it for me.

25:47Speaker 2:That's it for me. Wow, that's nothing. That's almost nothing that's being recalled. Not a lot.

25:53Speaker 1:No, first off.

25:53Speaker 2:It's not that much.

25:54Speaker 1:I love. I was so upset. It's not that much. I really do love Wowzer Old Skin Chews. There's some of the tastiest skin you can find.

26:05Speaker 2:Now, what's the problem there?

26:07Speaker 1:It's very sad. Well, the problem with Wowser old skin shoes is that part of the deregulation was what kind of skin could be used. So it used to be that there was a moil to Wowser pipeline. So it was all freshly cut penis tips that were then dried, laid out, and jerkified. But now they're apparently able to use corpse cock, the skin of any dissident or detainee. And in fact, I know.

26:45Speaker 2:That's a benefit they never talk about, Bobby.

26:48Speaker 1:Right?

26:50Speaker 2:When you're deported, you actually get to keep... Right? Or is that what you're saying?

26:56Speaker 1:When you're deported, you get to keep your skin.

26:58Speaker 2:Or we get to keep it as a nation.

27:00Speaker 1:Yeah, so... A lot of people don't know this, but part of deportation is that anything that's touched the United States, we get to keep.

27:11Speaker 2:Those are the grab your rules from Donald Trump. Anything you touch, you get to keep. Anything you touch is yours.

27:18Speaker 1:Anything you touch is yours. So when you're an immigrant in this country and you touch the ground with your foot or you brush your arm against American-made clothing— You are now, that skin is part of the U.S. territory. The only thing that's not is your organs, your skull, your inside, your bones. Damn bones, damn bones. So when you leave, we have a very advanced skin removal system where you're stripped of your skin and then you leave like a chattering Halloween skeleton.

27:53Speaker 2:And that skin is turned into snacks. Movie snacks.

27:56Speaker 1:And then the skins turned into snacks. And I also want to say that, you know, I've used granddad's country coffins for all of our family, family burials, and they are the finest quality coffins. And, you know, it's no other coffin offers a gift shop at the very front of the coffin. So when you go to visit your loved one, they're entombment coffins so they're not meant for burial you open the tomb and there's a little snack bar a soda dispenser.

28:33Speaker 2:I've never been there that's crazy so you get.

28:38Speaker 1:You've never been to a funeral you've never been to a tomb no one you know has died didn't your mother blow her.

28:43Speaker 2:Fucking brain out it's a bummer funerals are bummers.

28:48Speaker 1:You were a baby you were a baby right.

28:52Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, when your father got assassinated, you were a baby.

28:58Speaker 1:I think I was like eight years old.

29:00Speaker 2:Were you in Dallas at the time?

29:04Speaker 1:I wasn't. It wasn't fucking Dallas. He was shot in California.

29:11Speaker 2:JFK was shot in California.

29:15Speaker 1:No, he was shot in Dallas. My father is Bobby Kennedy. He's a senior. And new evidence has just come out, actually, Kyle. I've always believed Sir Hanserhan had nothing to do with it. And I have recently read new information that at the Ambassador Hotel, that there actually was, they were serving chicken wings that night as part of the buffet. And that some of the chicken wings had been contaminated. Oh, shit.

29:51Speaker 2:So you don't think he was shot?

29:54Speaker 1:I don't think he was shot at all, Kyle. I think that. that this is what they called, I don't know if you ever heard of this, it's called a kinetic mass chicken.

30:09Speaker 3:Ass.

30:10Speaker 1:Okay? ASS is short for Autonomous Skeletal Seeking. So... The chicken wing has kinetic energy built up in it that is ready to release if someone touches the wings. The wing then launches from wherever it is at hypervelocity. And the bone of the chicken wing seeks out other bone to reattach to it. So when my father walked into the kitchen, he bumped a catering tray and And this chicken wings shot off and went right into him, piercing him right where the bullets were. And Sirhan Sirhan was trying to save him.

31:08Speaker 2:That's crazy.

31:09Speaker 1:He was trying to eat the chicken wings out of his body.

31:12Speaker 2:Maybe the same thing happened with Patton Oswalt when he shot JFK.

31:19Speaker 1:Patton Oswalt. No, no, that Patton Oswalt. funny man Patton Oswalt he's a comedian Kyle you should know who he.

31:28Speaker 2:Is shot JFK from the library.

31:30Speaker 1:No um Lee Harvey Oswald.

31:32Speaker 2:Do you think that when we actually die we're being recalled by God because we're shitty yes we're contaminated.

31:42Speaker 1:Yes because well of course we're contaminated it was sin Kyle you know I know you have an upcoming trip to Italy and you're gonna learn all about that.

31:51Speaker 2:Yeah, I can't wait. I'm going downtown in the city. It's going to be amazing.

31:56Speaker 1:We're covered in original sin because we come out of our mom's pussy, which is dirty. And so God punishes us. Yes, that's the problem, is that you're coming out of fun hole, right? So the first thing you do, think about that. Think about the first thing you do when you exist is you touch your mom's pussy. That's like the first thing you do. It's the very first thing you do. You don't come out of your mommy and grab onto your dad's cock like your Indiana Jones escaping.

32:33Speaker 2:Yes.

32:35Speaker 3:Yeah.

32:36Speaker 1:It would be so good if that's what they should do during births is that they should dangle your daddy's cock right over mommy's pussy and And then when the baby comes out, he's like, and he grabs the cock and then he swings out. And then just as mom's pussy's closing, he reaches in and grabs his fedora.

32:58Speaker 2:Okay, so you're saying we're being recalled for touching our mom's pussy on the way out.

33:06Speaker 1:Is that what you're saying? Yes. That's the original sin, Kyle. That's it.

33:10Speaker 2:Why does it take us then 80 years to be recalled?

33:15Speaker 1:God's very busy man.

33:16Speaker 2:So many people. All right.

33:30Speaker 1:We got a few promos to read. We got to do these promos. We got to read here. Now this, uh, why, uh, okay. So this is, this is, uh, interesting. Oh, this is great.

33:40Speaker 2:Okay.

33:41Speaker 1:So Kyle, Do you like fresh fruit?

33:46Speaker 2:Yes, I love fresh fruit.

33:49Speaker 1:Kyle, do you want fresh fruit that's bred with some of the most up-to-date biological material from both this planet but also around our solar system? Kyle, would you be willing to spend in a subscription service $ 15 to $ 20 a month? To get fresh fruit every week? Right now, you go to the supermarket. You don't know what you're going to get. You could have car parts in your strawberries. Or you could have the remains of a church stained glass window in your raspberry bunch. But now, thanks to Mars Berry Farms, you can subscribe to their monthly berry blast.

34:47Speaker 1:They're going to be sending you all their freshest berries. Wait, hold on a second. Straight, yeah.

34:52Speaker 2:Bobby, hold on a second. I just got a text. I just got a text from the recall administrator.

34:58Speaker 1:Cohagen? No, yeah, from Cohagen. Oh, God.

35:04Speaker 2:He's recalling Mars blueberries and Cuado coffee.

35:07Speaker 1:What?

35:08Speaker 2:He's asking us to stop consuming them immediately.

35:11Speaker 1:No, I understand.

35:12Speaker 2:It's really good.

35:13Speaker 1:I can't stop consuming them.

35:16Speaker 2:Oh, God.

35:17Speaker 1:They're delicious blueberries. I am a blueberry. I'm going to be recalled.

35:21Speaker 2:I actually... Look, look. I'm actually kind of feeling weird, Bobby. Maybe we should stop eating this food? I mean, do we believe the recalls or not?

35:30Speaker 1:Why would we bother? I don't believe the recalls. I mean, I... I guess I am sort of feeling like my skin tone's changing a little bit.

35:40Speaker 2:I don't feel good either, man.

35:43Speaker 1:Oh, this is weird. I wasn't as, uh.

35:48Speaker 2:I'm just, like, I'm heaving at my chest. I just don't feel good.

35:53Speaker 1:Well, well... I just feel like I'm.

35:55Speaker 2:Breathing really deeply, and I don't know, maybe it is the Kwado coffee.

36:00Speaker 1:All I know, Kyle, is that when we started this podcast, it felt like... I couldn't really remember how I got here. Like I, I just, we were doing the podcast and, and, and, and then I showed up. We just showed up.

36:15Speaker 2:I feel like I'm having an anxiety attack now.

36:18Speaker 1:No, you need to relax. You need to relax. Oh my God.

36:23Speaker 3:Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, my God, you got three tits, Kyle. That's not the Kyle I know.

36:35Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah. Come on, yeah, yeah. Give me a show. Come on, give me a show. Give me a show, baby. Oh, come on.

36:44Speaker 2:Give me a show, honey.

36:45Speaker 1:No, that's a side effect from the Kwano coffee. Wait a minute. I'm completely purple. I've got not only blueberry hands, I've got blueberry body, Kyle.

36:58Speaker 2:Oh, God, Bobby.

36:58Speaker 1:Hold on. Wait a minute. I didn't notice this before. There's suddenly a file on my computer that says, watch this. Once you realize something's fucked up and Kyle has shown you his street.

37:11Speaker 2:Maybe there's a way out of this.

37:14Speaker 1:Hi there, boys. It's me. The real Bobby K. You idiots don't even realize that you're inside your own minds. Why did you think I would be so cool about all these things being recalled or I wouldn't think I was losing my job? I'm the real Bobby Jr., and I wiped your minds because it was the only way to avoid responsibility for the piss-poor fucking job I'm doing as health secretary. The fact of the matter is, is not only am I going to be recalled for my job...

37:56Speaker 1:We're going to end up poisoning this entire country because of our deregulation by removing safeguards that have been protecting the American food supply for over 50 years, starting with Ronald Reagan's deregulation of farming and creating subsidies so that we would close down the local small farm, cause them to stop producing and shifting our crop production over to soybeans and corn. in order to make more profit over actually having domestic food supply, outsourcing most of our food production to third world countries that didn't have the same regulations as the United States. But over the course of the 90s and even the 2000s, regulation returned in order to ensure that even international shipments of food were protected and checked. For instance, in a meatpacking facility, you have to have a particular type of metal ceiling that is actually treated with an antibacterial wash every four hours so that nothing develops on the ceiling that could drip back into the vats that are processing the meat. The level of regulation and food safety in the United States up until the last decade two years has been something not

39:20Speaker 1:only to marvel at, but it's also been the reason why we don't have to worry when we go to the store. But I ended all that. And the beauty of it is I put it back in the business's corners, you idiots. And as anyone knows, a business like a child doesn't do anything unless it's told to fucking do it. But the shit's on you. You two are going to be responsible in this reality that you're now in. And I'm going to make off with no accountability whatsoever. You're trapped.

39:57Speaker 1:Blueberries on Mars farms, you morons. It's all been a construct. A computer dream. And there's no way for you to get out of it.

40:07Speaker 2:Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

40:08Speaker 1:Bobby. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck you.

40:11Speaker 2:Holy shit, Bobby. Holy shit. That's you from, what is that.

40:15Speaker 1:From the future? I don't, fuck, I don't, why would it be me from the future? I don't know. We gotta recall this fucking episode.

40:23Speaker 2:Something's happening in my stomach, Bobby.

40:28Speaker 1:No, no, what do you mean? Oh, fuck. It's that guano coffee.

40:32Speaker 3:Oh, my God, you got a guano.

40:34Speaker 1:You got a guano. You got a guano. There's a fucking guano on my stomach, Bobby. Make it talk. Make it talk to me. Make it talk. Hello? Hello? Hello.

40:45Speaker 2:I am.

40:46Speaker 1:Guano coffee.

40:48Speaker 2:Please buy my coffee products.

40:52Speaker 1:You... I like your voice, guano.

40:54Speaker 2:I am guano coffee.

40:57Speaker 1:Are you... Holy shit, you're funnier than Kyle. I'm so much funnier than Kyle. And I'm performing at.

41:05Speaker 3:The Laugh Factory this week with Chris D'Elia and Dane Cook.

41:10Speaker 1:Come out, LA.

41:12Speaker 2:Come out.

41:15Speaker 1:Good Science is a production of Silly Gilly, Big Money Players, iHeart Podcasts, and 137LTD. Hosted by Anthony Atamanek as RFK Jr. And Gil Ozary as Kyle Quim. Senior producer and audio engineer Emma Erdbrink. Supervising producer Victor Wright. Our executive producers are Lindsay Hoffman and Jack O'Brien. Created by Anthony Atamanek and Gil Ozary. And special thanks to our AI therapists, Terry and Michael. New episodes drop every Tuesday. And follow us on Instagram and TikTok at GoodSciencePod. And follow, like, and subscribe our YouTube channel, GoodSciencePod.