Podcast · Stories
by Bucket of Milk · English · Stories
Far beyond the frontier of civilized space, sails the starship the CSS Cavalier, manned by her strange and daring crew. Their destination? Adventure. Their cargo? Your dang ears. Their mission? Episodic science fiction comedy at the intersection of Star Trek, Douglas Adams, and the Marquis DeSade. F
24 Sep 2026 · 9 min
When our heroes Gelmire (Tim Platt), Vestavia (Carly Monardo), and Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), go behind enemy lines on the CVA World Champlainia-7 to recover a dangerous and classified bioweapon, what's the worst that could happen? I guess the worst would be none of them come back from the mission. So this isn't the worst!
E110 · 28 Aug 2026 · 8 min
Salty about a recent Breakup, Oberon Coaxial stepped into the Tachyon Jump Accelerator, and vanished. He awoke to find himself trapped in the past, facing mirror images that were not his own, and driven by an unknown force to change the history of the CSS Cavalier for the better. His only guide on this journey is Judith, a botanist from his own time who promised not to tell Vestavia what he was doing and appears in the form of a hologram that only Oberon can see and hear. And so Mr. Coaxial finds himself Jumping from life to life, striving to put right what once went wrong, and hoping each…
E109 · 31 Jul 2026 · 10 min
A special invitation returns Groomda (Tim Platt) to the deadliest arena in the galaxy, and this time he's joined by Froglevel (Ali Fisher) and Vestavia (Carly Monardo). And this time? They're all single...
E107 · 26 May 2026 · 15 min
When a mysterious Vanguard Escape Pod is recovered by the Cavalier, no one can be prepared for the changes that come when its passenger emerges. Not Katya (Carly Monardo). Not Meredith (Ali Fisher). And certainly not Guy Normal (Branson Reese).
E106 · 28 Apr 2026 · 8 min
When a terrible theft occurs aboard the CSS Cavalier, it's up to three crack investigators- Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo), Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt), and ship's Saxophonist Barry Cools (Branson Reese) to track down the culprit and bring them to justice.
E105 · 26 Mar 2026 · 7 min
Something's rotten on Barrakar. Damn that would have been a good ep title too. Oh well! Scandal (Carly Monardo), Charity (Ali Fisher), and Single Chance (Tim Platt), will have to get to the bottom of it!
E104 · 26 Feb 2026 · 6 min
If you pull at one of the loose threads of your life, it can unravel the very tapestry of yourself. Even if your self is a robot named Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings). Oh These, Those Stars of Space says goodbye to Chris, and who better to send him off than Groomda (Tim Platt) and Deremeth (Ali Fisher)?
E103 · 29 Jan 2026 · 8 min
Ah, Melas-One. That beautiful, peaceful colony in the stars. Surely nothing lurks beneath this precious idyll. And even if there is, can Billy Onassis (Branson Reese), Marvin Blond (Tim Platt), and Froglevel Casketshowroom (Ali Fisher) figure it out in time??
E102 · 18 Dec 2025 · 8 min
Deep inside the Cavalier, a team of terrorists has seized a bar, taken hostages, and declared war. One man has managed to escape... An on-duty mascot (Branson Reese) hiding somewhere inside. Oh and Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and Boboli (Carly Monardo) are there too! They're alone, tired... and the only chance anyone has got. CAVVY. DEWEY. BOBOLI. HARD DIE
E101 · 20 Nov 2025 · 9 min
THE MIRROR SHATTERS! With our heroes Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Mitzi Festerchild (Ali Fisher), Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), and Vestavia (Carly Monardo), trapped aboard the CVS WAR CRIMINAL, chances of returning to their home universe are growing dim! And can they stop IMPERITREX MEREDITH CHESTERFIELD's plan to rule both universes in time? Plus, what's happening with Dark Groomda back on the Cavalier? All this and more on the thrilling finale of Oh These, Those Stars of Space's 101st Episode Spectacular!
E100 · 23 Oct 2025 · 12 min
What lies on the other side of the mirror? What if it was not a perfect reflection of your normal, hot self, but something...darker?? In this episode, the characters of Oh These, Those Stars of Space explore these questions and more!
22 Oct 2025 · 1 hr 23 min
UNLOCKED! On the eve of the release of Oh These, Those Stars of Space's landmark 100th episode, we're freeing our 99th episode from behind the paywall. Enjoy! And if you like what you hear don't forget to head over and subscribe to the OTTSS Patreon for episode 100 on Thursday 10/23! Just 5 dollars gets you access to that and dozens more premium episodes. When a mysterious visitor arrives aboard the CSS Cavalier, will Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher), destroy him and subject him to awful experiments? Or will they find...a friend?
E99 · 26 Sep 2025 · 10 min
When a mysterious visitor arrives aboard the CSS Cavalier, will Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese), Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo), and Chestershire (Ali Fisher), destroy him and subject him to awful experiments? Or will they find...a friend?
E95 · 27 May 2025 · 5 min
With our heroes Threadcount (Christopher Hastings), Mitzi (Ali Fisher), and Vestavia (Carly Monardo) trapped by Dr. Genesis (née Aldo Nintendo) and his army of Mootants, do they have any chance of stopping him and returning to their future? Choices made. Lives lost. Rollerskate bellies activated.
E94 · 25 Apr 2025 · 7 min
Trapped! In the 90s?!?! Mitzi (Ali Fisher), Vestavia (Carly Monardo), and Threadcount (Christopher Hastings), find themselves trapped in 1996 Los Angeles, with no sign of Aldo Nintendo, and no chance of getting back home. Unless...
E93 · 27 Mar 2025 · 6 min
When Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings), Vestavia (Carly Monardo), and Mitzi (Ali Fisher), are sent to investigate Darkmoon Deep Science Station and its chief scientist, Dr. Aldo Nintendo (Joe Lepore), nothing can prepare them for the adventure that awaits. Hopefully they can save the galaxy...in time.
E92 · 27 Feb 2025 · 7 min
When a mysterious visitor...traveller... Voyager arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he seeks to learn all he can about this little starship where we lay our scene. And who better to guide him than Meredith Chesterfield (Ali Fisher), Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt), and Threadcount-900 (Christopher Hastings). And what happens when the Voyager offers one of them the opportunity of a spacetime??
E91 · 30 Jan 2025 · 5 min
When a new spot opens up in a prestigious Choir of Space Angels, Bubbsriel (Carly Monardo) is summoned from the CSS Cavalier to Space Heaven to see if she's up to the task. She'll have to give it her all, because overseeing her trials are none other than Holy Attorney General Zacchaeus Zebulon (Christopher Hastings). Luckily, Bubbs will have help from a familiar face- gasp! Is that- Froglevel?!? (Ali Fisher) (it is).
26 Dec 2024 · 52 min
UNLOCKED! As a special year-end treat, we're releasing one of our most popular episodes this year from behind the paywall! Enjoy to your heart's content, and hey, when you're done, if you want to check out more of the latest adventures on Oh These, Those Stars of Space, head over to our Patreon- you'll be glad you did! When ship systems begin to go strangely awry aboard the CSS Cavalier, Engineer Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Groomda (Tim Platt) have little choice but call upon the help of the Cavalier's IT department. But when help arrives, they can't help but be intrigued by IT…
E90 · 19 Dec 2024 · 7 min
When Vanguard Internal Affairs Officer Hank Pissed (Joe Lepore), arrives on the CSS Cavalier, he summons two top agents, Scandal (Carly Monardo) and Charity (Ali Fisher), to help him uncover a deadly mystery- and how does it involve Gelmire Lysander (Tim Platt) and Cubik, the Amazing Cube (Branson Reese)???
E89 · 26 Nov 2024 · 8 min
When Boboli (Carly Monardo), Single Chance (Tim Platt), and Guy Normal (Branson Reese), find themselves on an ancient starship, they find themselves in an adventure... 65 MILLION YEARS IN THE MAKING.
E88 · 25 Oct 2024 · 5 min
Ah yes, just another typical day aboard the CSS Cavalier for crewmembers like Vestavia (Carly Monardo), Gelmire Lysdander (Tim Platt), and Dr. Dewey (Christopher Hastings). But will it remain that way when Carlzoid Frontstuff (Guest Star RYAN NORTH) returns? No, no it won't. But they'll have plenty of time to figure that out...
E87 · 26 Sep 2024 · 7 min
When ship systems begin to go strangely awry aboard the CSS Cavalier, Engineer Katya Bushnikova (Carly Monardo) and Groomda (Tim Platt) have little choice but call upon the help of the Cavalier's IT department. But when help arrives, they can't help but be intrigued by IT Specialist Ted Crount (Christopher Hastings). Yes...there's something strangely familiar about this Kiwi crewman...but what could it be?
E86 · 29 Aug 2024 · 7 min
THE NEPHEWS RETURN! But will they all survive? Or will an encounter with the mysterious Jaish Al-Ghost (Joe Lepore) and his hunt for a mysterious artifact spell doom for Rupert (Christopher Hastings), Dupert (Carly Monardo), and Poopert (Branson Reese)?
E85 · 26 Jul 2024 · 6 min
Fresh out of a brief stay in Sick Bay, Coyote Ugly (Branson Reese) returns to active duty, on a seemingly simple mission with Dr Dewey (Christopher Hastings) and mild-mannered ensign Single Chance (Tim Platt). But will it remain as it seems, or will the discovery of an awe-inspiring alien creature cause hysteria aboard the CSS Cavalier and discord between the three characters we focus on in this episode? Guess you'll have to listen to find out!
E84 · 27 Jun 2024 · 8 min
When Werimether (Christopher Hastings) creates a new holozone program, the whole crew gets swept up by his fictional English Village: Little Tooting. I don't know why! You'd think they'd have really good video games in the future, but here we are. It even attracts the attention of Vee (Carly Monardo) and Ensign Single Chance (Tim Platt) an unremarkable officer who has nothing to do with The Teal Light, the mysterious space ranger from the Hope Corps who uses his magic ring to defend the Cavalier from cosmic threats!
30 May 2024 · 1 min
Hello, Dear Audience! It's me, Joe Lepore- the one who says 'Wow' at the beginning of every episode, with a special announcement. Are you sitting down? Well stand up because it's going to be ok. The show isn't over. If you've listened to the Trek Draft or seen Tim's many tweets about becoming a hot air balloon guy, you know some exciting life changes have been happening behind the scenes at Bucket of Milk. So what does that mean for Oh These, Those Stars of Space? Well, starting next month, These Those will be going monthly, sticking to our one Patreon episode every month. If you're already…
E83 · 30 May 2024 · 1 hr 16 min
When Ship's Dentist and most-humanoid cat person Dr Surgery (Branson Reese) invites fellow cat-officers Chestershire (Ali Fisher) and Marvin Blond (Tim Platt) on a top-secret away mission, it's really anyone's guess what could be waiting for them on a distant moon, just a cryo-sleep away! Plus, a special cameo from Liberty Balboa (Branson Reese)
E82 · 24 May 2024 · 8 min
Boboli (Carly Monardo), Guy Normal (Branson Reese), and ship's Olympian Gene Lime (Tim Platt) meet two alien species that just can't get along. Who will come out on top? Who will end up with a wad of poison money in their mouth? And who will enjoy some delicious fruit? All this and more on tonight's OH THESE THOSE STARS OF SPAAAACE!
E81 · 16 May 2024 · 1 hr 2 min
Rip Van Winkle (Tim Platt) is-what else?- dreaming, when he summoned by former foe Snoozebo (Joe Lepore) of the Cavalier to aid him in a dangerous quest to save the Dream Realm. And who shall Rip turn to in this dark hour? Why, Deremeth (Ali Fisher) and Clinton Bodycount (Branson Reese) are free!
Far beyond the frontier of civilized space, sails the starship the CSS Cavalier, manned by her strange and daring crew. Their destination? Adventure. Their cargo? Your dang ears. Their mission? Episodic science fiction comedy at the intersection of Star Trek, Douglas Adams, and the Marquis DeSade. F
Oh These, Those Stars of Space! is a English stories podcast from Bucket of Milk. Melo plays each episode straight from the publisher's own feed — no ads added, no account needed — and remembers where you stopped, in this browser only.
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