Permission Slips Are for Elementary School

0:03Speaker 1:How many decisions are you not making because you're waiting for someone else to say it's okay. How many dreams of yours are on hold because you haven't gotten the green light from people who aren't even paying attention to your life. Quite frankly, well, if either of those questions made you feel seen or possibly even attacked.

0:26Speaker 2:You are in the right place.

0:29Speaker 1:This is a series where we're gonna be talking about the psychology of playing small. So if you didn't listen to last week's episode, make sure you double back and go ahead and do that. It's not that one episode is gonna build on the other, but they will connect.

0:43Speaker 2:But anyway, let's get into the formal introduction.

0:46Speaker 1:Welcome back to the switch priveter Quit Podcast and welcome to seven minute Sundays on the Switch privot e Quit Podcast. I'm your host, Ayanna Angel, and we're gonna spend the next seven minutes together getting you filled up with inspiration and goodness to get your mind primed to achieve greatness as you enter the week ahead. Today we're going to be talking about why permission slips are for elementary school and why high achieving adults are still asking for them.

1:15Speaker 1:You might be one of those people. Remember, we are not here to shame each other about the choices and decisions that we've made about the things that we do on a day to day basis. We are here to self reflect, to get better, to usher in change, and to welcome the things that we don't know, so that we can be our best version of ourselves doing whatever it is that we want to do that makes us feel the most happy and fulfilled. So I spent three years wanting to write a book, three whole years, and you know what I was waiting for. I was waiting for someone to tell me I was qualified for an agent to validate my ideas, if you will, a publisher to give me permission, for literally anyone in authority to say yes, Soyana, You're allowed to be an author. Now you no longer have to be a publicist.

2:13Speaker 2:You can do this new.

2:14Speaker 1:Thing if you want to do it, and you can also be very good at it if you want to do it.

2:21Speaker 2:Huh.

2:22Speaker 1:Meanwhile, I was already writing, I had already started to build my own little platform and corner of the Internet. I had expertise, I had something to say, but I was stuck in permission seeking mode, waiting for that external validation or for an internal calling to just magically appear for me. Now, let me keep it real, because you know I always do. The day I stopped waiting for permission was the day things changed. And I'm not saying that as in it was a very special day, and I remember the day and the time and da da dad.

3:03Speaker 1:Sometimes people kill me with how much detail they can actually remember, and I'm like, can you really remember that? Or was that like you making it up for story's sake, purposes?

3:11Speaker 2:Whatever? For me, let's just go with the day.

3:15Speaker 1:Whatever day, it was more so like a timeframe. When I stopped waiting for permission, that was when everything changed. I realized that no one was going to hand me this hall pass if you will, to my own life to say go get out there, roall the halls, live it. The authority I was seeking had to come for me. So when it came time to publish my second book, I didn't wait around for permission. I was ready to give myself the permission I have been looking for. So in March of twenty nineteen, I self published my second book that aforementioned, Quit Playing Small. That's what I discovered there are some phrases everyday, phrases that keep us trapped in permission seeking mode, and each one is sabotaging you from getting to your next level. This is not all the phrases, but these are three that I want to call out to you and see if they sound even remotely familiar. Phrase Number one, I don't know if I'm ready? Okay, Ready is a myth. I'm gonna say it again. Ready is a myth. Ready is what people say when they want to avoid being seen as a beginner. But here is the reality. You'll never feel ready for the thing

4:44Speaker 1:that scares you most. Think about so many other aspects of your life even though you weren't ready, You did it anyway. It could be marriage, It could be children. It could be moving. It could be going off to college. It could be taking on a new job. Whatever it is that you, I guarantee have been in a position and have put yourself in a position to act before you were ready. Instead of asking am I ready, ask yourself? Am I willing? Am I willing to learn?

5:19Speaker 2:Maybe?

5:19Speaker 1:Am I willing to be a beginner? Am I willing to be imperfect? Am I willing to be seen? Am I willing? To bet on myself before anyone else does. So don't let that phrase I don't know if I'm ready hold you back anymore. The second phrase I want to call out is I need more experience.

5:44Speaker 2:First.

5:46Speaker 1:Experience is important, but it's not a prerequisite for starting. Every expert they were once a beginner who refuse to stay a beginner. So you can gain experience by doing the thing, not by preparing to do the thing. Stop collecting qualifications and start creating evidence of your capability.

6:10Speaker 3:Okay, hold type for me for just one minute. Okay, maybe two, but I promise we will be right back after we hear from our sponsors. The third phrase that I want to point out is what if people don't think I'm qualified?

6:32Speaker 1:Here's a reality check. People are too busy worried about their own lives managing what they are trying to do to spend time questioning you in your life. The people who matter will judge you by your results, not by your effort. And the people who judge you by your resume they're not your people. Huh, little secret, they are not your people. So it doesn't really matter anyway. The permission you're seeking, it isn't coming from outside. It's never gonna come from outside. It's always going to be an inside job. You have to give yourself permission to want more, to try new things, to fail forward, to fail fast, and to trust your own judgment. Now here's a framework that you can use. Let's call it the internal authority audit.

7:31Speaker 1:You're gonna audit yourself, right, ask yourself these three questions. What would I attempt if I knew I couldn't fail? What would I do if no one else's opinion mattered to me? And finally, what would I pursue if I trusted, trusted, trusted, I'm emphasizing that word trusted my own judgment completely? What would I pursue if I trusted my own judgment completely? Your answers to those questions, that is your permission slip written by you, signed by you, validated immediately.

8:19Speaker 2:No, I'm just kidding, but validated immediately.

8:21Speaker 1:Really, So, this week's challenge, what I want you to do is practice permission. Identify one decision you've been postponing because you're waiting for external validation. Now you realize that, right. Maybe you didn't realize it before, but now you realize it. Maybe it's applying for a stretch roll within your company. Maybe it's starting some type of side project or business. Maybe is having a difficult conversation with someone in your life, something where you've been waiting for the right time quote unquote, or the right person quote unquote to give you the go ahead. Now, what I want you to do is subtly say to yourself, I give myself the permission.

9:08Speaker 2:I give me permission.

9:11Speaker 1:Write it down, if you have to record yourself saying it, maybe even say it in the mirror. I give myself permission to complete the sentence. Whatever the thing is, this is you taking action. But this is not the hard action. The hard action is. Then I want you to take one small action step toward that decision before next Sunday, Before we meet next Sunday, I want you to take one small step toward that decision. You don't have to do all the things, you don't have to have a list of things written out in.

9:49Speaker 2:A bunch of action items. Just one, just one.

9:53Speaker 1:Step that proves to you that you're the authority on your own life. As we get ready to close out today, I want you to know that your life is waiting for your signature, not someone else's approval.

10:08Speaker 2:Be clear on that.

10:10Speaker 1:Understand it, feel it, know it to be true. All right, next week we're gonna dive into comfort zones and why staying safe might be the riskiest choice you are making and you didn't even know it before I head out of here. Just remember, you don't need permission to want.

10:30Speaker 2:More from your life. You need the courage to amplify who.

10:35Speaker 1:You are already because you're so amazing, you are so dope.

10:39Speaker 2:You gotta lean into it. You gotta believe it.

10:42Speaker 1:You've got to give yourself permission to feel it, know it, believe it, and put it out there into the world. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I appreciate you. I am sending you big hugs and love and wishing you continue blessings in your life day to day. Help you lean into those blessings is a blessing. Your presence is a blessing, and I really hope that you know that. Until next time, until next week, be well.