#293: Vision Board and 5 Year Plan

0:00Elsie You're listening to the a Beautiful Mess podcast your cozy comfort listen. I'm your host, Elsie Larson. Emma And I'm your host, Emma Chapman. Elsie In this week's episode, we're diving into how to make vision boards and five year plans. If you're in the mood to think about goals and dreams, you're in the right place. We're also answering some listener questions and engaging in a hot take debate about whether romantic comedies are actually the worst fired I love it, so let's just jump right in. So how to make a vision board? We're gonna talk about vision boards, and then we talk about five year plan. But I kind of want to say like five or 10 year plan, because they're kind of the same thing, just the scale is a little bit different.

0:11Emma Yeah, we'll talk about this more when we get when we get to the five year plan. But I do kind of think sometimes the number, the year number, can kind of hang up on you, so don't just hang with us. What we're talking about is big goals and breaking it down. And also, before we talk about each of these, the vision board, which we'll talk about first, and then the five year plan or 10 year plan, however, you want to get it. Here's what I'll say before we start, is I think that the vision board, to me is all about curating the vibe that you want for your life. It's like visual vibes. So like, this is the feeling that I want my life to have, whereas the five year plan thing to me is, like, that's making a road map. This is my specific how I'm going to get from here to there type thing. So these are two very different things. And I wanted to kind of say that, because I want to pitch you do need both. I think, I think both are very good for very different reasons. And I think to only do one and not the other, like you're kind of missing out. So, like they're fun. Get into it. Let's do it. I don'tknow that's my pitch for it.

0:23Elsie 100% I love that. Okay, so vision boards are one of our special interests. They're one of my topics. I have mine right here. Emma Look, I took a picture of mine. It's everywhere. Elsie It's all the time. Emma Mine's hanging up in my office all the time. So there she is. Elsie I love it. So, okay, my philosophy is, everything in your entire life that you care about deserves its own vision board. Why not? Why not when I have one vision board? So we have a different, definitely different. Okay, so I wrote, I, like, looked around and wrote down all of my current vision boards that I'm referencing. So I have the 2026, vision board, which is, like, in the front and back of my planner. So I just wanted to put it in a place where I could see it often, yeah, and I don't have a place in my house to like, Hey, I don't have like, you know that official office, right? So I just keep it there. And then I have separate vision boards. One for my writing career, one for my art career, one for just like lifestyle and family, like the daily life I want to be living at home. One for collections, like one is just about, like

0:41vintage basically, and like, my knives out house, like collecting that. And then one about, like, dressing up, like everyday style, because that's something I'm trying to work on. And then in past years, I have had, like, lots of very elaborate home vision boards as I was decorating my house. But now I'm finally at a place where I'm a little bit done with that, and I'm at least taking a break from it. So this year, there's none of that for me, okay?

0:46Emma And I just have one vision part, and I and it has all the categories on it. Elsie So describe yours. Emma That's one of my tips, I guess, or one of my here's how I do it. I don't know it's even a tip. It's just like, here's what I do. Is I have different, like, segments. Let me see all the segments I have. And you could have different ones than these. Doesn't matter. It's your board. So one is called work and play. One is called family, which includes kids, all family, partner. One is friendships. And then I have a very small section that's called Health. So those are the segments on my board. And then within each of those, I have a bunch of, like, pictures, and then I write certain phrases. So another like, tip, or thing I do is I write in present tense. So I'll read some. So under work and play. So I have a bunch of pictures around these, and I'll tell you a little more about the pictures. But what I've written is, I am a successful author. I have time for creative hobbies. Creativity and making is a huge part of my life. And then I have pictures of women working on books, signing a bunch of copies of a book, and then, like, some a few, like,

1:01messy desk that have, like, collage stuff out and things like that. And so two things that I do with the pictures, and I find all these pictures on Pinterest. Sometimes I find one in a magazine, but I find it's a lot easier to find them on Pinterest, so I tend to like make a folder of them and print them off. So two things is, one, I try to find pictures of people where the faces are more profile or somewhat obscured. For me, I just find that that helps to envision myself on the board. So that another thing is, whenever I have a section that's kind of about me, and they all are kind of about me, because it's my vision board. I aim to put women on my board who are a little bit older than me. Yeah? Because I don't really want a vision board that's full of 20 year olds. Yeah, I'm 40. I want a vision board that's full of 45, 5060, year olds. I even have one that's like a couple. Oh, look at them. They're probably in their 70s, and they're on a walk, and they're holding hands, and it's just very cute to me. And I'm like, that's I want that to be my husband one day, exactly that. That's what I want. So, yeah, those are a couple, like, small little tips,

1:12just because I think part of the goal is, like, the life that you really have and that you really want. And I'm never going to be 20 again, and I don't want to be but I don't want a board that looks like, you know that, you get it, you get it. I don't really explain this. Elsie So, yeah, no, I think that some people might feel differently, like it's one of their goals to, like, feel young, and like, yeah, yeah. Like, maybe that. It's just not one of my goals.

1:18Emma Yeah, same, yep, and yeah. So I have little goals around family stuff, which has to do with mostly my kids and my partner, but a little bit also my larger family. And then one that's kind of like my social life. And then I my really small section is just like a woman on a long walk outside, and then women who are like, doing gym stuff, oh yeah, jumping around and stuff. And it just says I take care of my body and my mental health. That's all it really says. So, like, some sections can be really small, but it's still, like, meaningful to me. Like, I have moments where I'm like, Hey, are you doing this? Are you taking care of your body and your mental health? Because that's your vision, so that's what you need to be doing.

1:26Yes. And I don't really have like, a, you know, weight goal, or I want to lift this much weight, you know, I don't really have those at the moment. If I did, I would put them on my board. But I just am kind of like, I want to feel good, and I want to have long term health, and that's kind of it for me right now. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what I have on my board. Elsie So, Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. I also have a manifesting board. I forgot about this. It's a it's a pin board, a private pin board, and I just keep putting on it, like manifesting stuff. So I'll pull that up real fast and share some of the things that are on there, because I think everyone should make one of these. It's so powerful. And when my friend first told me to do it. Do you remember the first time we hung out with Elise and Sherry a couple years ago? She was saying, Sherry was saying that she used to pen things, and now, like, she has those things. So I'm starting to get to that point where, like, so I started this, like, two years ago when we had that hang out at my house, and she was, like, the things that you put on

1:38there will eventually just be your life. So it's a powerful thing anyway, yeah? Like, I have these beautiful, like, Look at this gorgeous. It's like a fabulous old lady with, like, her hands, and every single finger has more than one ring on it. Emma I think marigold might be living that life right now. Elsie Yeah, she is, I have, there's two pictures in a row of French butter, because I want to go to France and go butter shopping with our eight year old. Who has that dream?

1:46Emma I think it's a great dream. She can say croissant so. Elsie She can also say Bonjour. Okay, oh, yeah. Anyway, it it says I attract supportive colleagues and mentors. There's a New York Times bestseller picture. There's a picture of Cher reading a book in the bathtub. Emma I'm not sure what that one's about, but I love it. Elsie It's just, well, I just want to be like that. I want to like I I want that. Look at that, and I say, yes anyway. So I think it's a beautiful thing. I also put like, really cool vintage on it that I see, because I think that it's somehow gonna, like, summon it into my flea market. I like, um, yeah, yeah. So yeah, vision boards, they're easy to do. Just make a make a folder on your computer. Make a folder on Pinterest, take them into Canva, print them out and make a collage in real life, like whatever you decide to do, or you can use an app and make a collage on your phone. It doesn't matter where you keep it, just keep it somewhere, either on the phone or in real life, where you will see it, yeah, and then just, you know, every once in a while, refer back to it and remember, you know, and kind of see, like, do I still align with

2:03these things, like, you can tweak them over time if your vision for your future changes, and you know it should. But for the most part, mine are very similar. Every single year I'm still kind of going towards the same direction with little details that are different. Emma Yeah, I refresh mine each year, and like this year versus last year, they looked remarkably similar, but some years they've looked quite different. So it just sort of depends how your life's evolving. It just does. Yeah, I also haven't, in the past kept my vision boards, and it never really occurred to me. And this year, I was like, You know what? I think I'm gonna start keeping them because I don't know where I'll put them, and I don't necessarily think I'm gonna look back on them that much. But I'm not much of a journaler at this time in my life. I don't have a diary at the moment, and I was like, that just might be like, a fun thing to have. Like, 20 years from now, I'll be like, Oh, look at my vision board from back when I was doing this thing, you know.

2:15Elsie Yeah, you have to keep them for my novels. I have those, you know, those collages that I make, and I feel like. Feel like it's like one of the most important things that I love to look back on, to remember, like, what I was trying to do when I started, you know, versus like, how it turns out in the end. It's like it evolves to be a different thing. But I just think, like, it's so fun to look back on that stuff and like, oh yeah. Think about like, I don't know the evolution. Okay, so let's talk about making a five year plan. This is always, I think we've covered this. I know we've covered this topic on the podcast before, since we're like 300 episodes deep at this point, but I feel like it's still a subject that people either feel like it's totally impossible to make a five year plan, or, you know, or you make one and you realize, like, oh my gosh, five years goes by quickly. And I actually need to start on this yesterday, like, I still it like, blows my mind that the beginning of covid was more than five years ago now, you know, like, it still, like, trips me up, kind of like the passage of time in this past five years has gone by really quickly for me, and I did start a

2:27few things in that era that changed my life. You know, over time, slowly, you know, little bit each day. And I think that if there's dreams that you have and you start them, you're going to like, Okay, say, say the quote. Say the quote. I wrote it down. I think we said it in a previous episode, but it was so powerful I want to repeat it. Emma Yeah, it was a few episodes ago. But the quote is, it's from Bjork, who is over at pinch of Yum, and his wife run it. So he said, We overestimate what we can do in a day, but we underestimate what we can do in a year. Because I do think it's so easy to have days, I feel like I said this last time we talked about it, where you're like, Oh, I didn't get anything done today. What a waste of a day. Ah, you start to spiral a little bit. But it's like, actually, you can't always get that much done in a day. But if you think about it more in a big picture, it's like you can get a lot done in a year, but you just have to kind of chip away at it. And that's sort of what I would say about making your five year plan, which, in my mind, I'm just, I just think of it as a roadmap, big goal roadmap. That's it. Because I think if you want it to be five years great,

2:40if you want to be 10 years, great, it kind of like, to me, that's a little bit arbitrary. It's a little bit besides the point. It's more like, what is it that you want? What is your big dream that you want, and now you're going to make the road map that gets you there. And it's probably more than one thing. It's probably like a whole collection of things. But if the the vision board was the vibes of the life you want, then this is, like, No, this is the concrete. This is the you're holding, the Oscar giving your speech. Yes. How'd you get there? This is the roadmap to that point, you know. So that's, that's all it really is. So maybe it takes you five years, maybe it takes you three years. Because if you're like, Oh, my big goal is only going to take me three years, did I do it wrong? No, it's fine, like that doesn't, don't worry about that too much.

2:48But part of the idea, though, is that five years is a long enough amount of time that you could do a very large goal. So you don't need to limit yourself. It doesn't need to be, you know, your New Year's resolution, because that should only take you nine months, nine to 12 months. Yeah. So this is a bigger than that goal. It might take you three years, five years, 10 years. It depends on your goal, but the idea is, this is your roadmap to get there. So first step though, is to come up with that big goal. Yeah. So has to align with the things you're wanting and with what future self wants, which is kind of a tricky thing at times to figure out, yeah.

2:55Elsie So my main tip is to kind of do the math, just like, figure out how old am I gonna be in five years? How am I gonna be in 10 years? Like, which 1am I doing? And then just, you know, get one piece of paper and just try to make a list from the perspective of that future self. What would they like if they got to that point and had not changed very much, what would they have wished like, what would be the main things that they would regret that. They would want, you know, and just do those things. Like, it's, it doesn't have to be a long list. Like, usually it's kind of short, you know. And we're, yeah, we're gonna keep living our life. We're gonna keep working. We're gonna keep making dinners and lunches and packing, you know, backpacks.

3:04Emma Taking the dogs to the vet, yeah, getting the oil changed on your car, whatever, whatever. Elsie Yeah, but in five to 10 years, you can change your career. You can change, like, if there's something, some other dream you have, you know, I want this thing for myself, and I haven't really started yet. You can achieve that, probably in five years. So what is it that you want? And then you can break it down into smaller, you know, steps of like, what am I going to do this month? And it starts to become really realistic really quickly when you look at things with that sense of scope.

3:12Emma Yeah, yeah. So I think of it like, Okay, if the the five year plan is the big goal, you know, let's make that this big, big piece of it's a whole pot. Pie. It's the entire pie. So now we're going to think about slicing it up into, like, maybe a big piece, maybe into really tiny pieces. Maybe we're going to think about it like, this is the flour, this is the butter, you know, whatever. You can make it as granular as you want, but that's sort of the next step. Is, because I almost think, like, the hardest part is figuring out what it is you want, yeah, and then once you do, then it's and being honest about it with yourself. And then once you do, then it's like, Okay, who else do I need to get on board if I need to do that, like, for example, if your goal was, like, I want to live by the ocean. Yeah, I really want to live by the ocean in five years.

3:21Elsie Oh, my God. Emma Well, if you're married, step one, talk with your partner about that, because I'm assuming you want them to live there too. So that's going to be, you know. So there's kind of, like, a certain level of like, okay, I found the thing I want. I really want this thing. Now I've got to go see about, you know, the possibilities around me. And then once, let's say he's like, Yeah, let's do that for sure. Now it's like, All right, let's start researching places, because there's a lot of beach, beach areas. It could be anywhere. You could be on the east coast, the West Coast, the Gulf, wherever. So it's like, okay, and so maybe the next step is like taking trips together. Maybe after that, it's like starting to put together a budget for the ideal area that you've picked out, starting to look at schools. If you have school age kids, like, you know, whatever, like, there's going to be a million tiny steps. Some of them are going to be as small as, like, call a realtor, and some are going to be as big as, like, pack up your house. So it's just, you know, a matter of like, okay, what's, what is the thing I really want? Let's get really clear on that, and really honest and,

3:35okay, what are my first steps? What are some of the bigger steps? So it's kind of a timeline thing and breaking up into small things. And you may find, depending on your goal, along the way, you need to kind of motivate yourself with it, maybe give yourself some rewards for some of the harder tasks. Or maybe you just need, like, a support group. Like, for example, we're always talking about writing because we both want to be writers, fiction writers. Joining a writing group might be really important, because at certain points you might feel very lonely. You might feel like, wow, my writing is not up to snuff with my taste yet, and that is frustrating, and it makes me want to quit. So I need some people I can talk to about that who've maybe gone through it, or are going through it at the same time as me. So like creating a community so that you can achieve these goals. There's a lot of different things that go into it, and all of those are going to need to go into your five year plan. And you'll just be thinking about, what are the things I need to do this month or this quarter? And then one of the big things I need to

3:46accomplish this year, and don't worry if the timeline starts to shift slightly, because it has to that happens. That's part of why I get a little like, don't worry about the five year thing. Let's make it five years. But then hold that loosely in your heart. It's like marbles in your hand. One of them might fall out, because it's like, there's a lot of things in life you can't control, and don't worry about that. There's no one in this world can control their whole life. That's not a thing. No one has it. Even the most successful person, you know, they don't have it. No one has that. It's fine. There might be times that you're going to stretch the timeline or shorten the timeline. Something worked out, something you know, something came faster than you wanted. You're gonna have to flow with that. So it might kind of end up being a slightly different timeline. That doesn't mean that you're failing. That doesn't mean that you did a bad job. It might just mean that you came up against an obstacle that was out of control. Yeah, time is sometimes, but you just got to roll with it. So don't worry too much about that. Worry more if you are

3:57taking the steps you can to move forward, that's what matters. Yeah, it doesn't. You know you can't control the other things. So don't get too hung up on that. Just know that like just trust, just trust that that'll happen. The universe will take care of that. You've got to just focus on the stuff that you can do. Elsie A thing that helps me is to remember that, you know, five years, it's a long time, but it's also a short amount of time it's going to pass anyway. Yes, so, you know, there's no stopping it. So you know, what little thing can I do to take me closer to where I want to be in this time? You know, because, if, like, if you want to, okay, like, this is a good example. Like, eventually I would like to be able to make, like, a classical style painting. And last year, not even, yeah, last year I started taking lessons. And so it's been already more than a year, and I've made, like, hardly any progress. But if I feel like, if I keep doing the lessons in five years, I'll probably be able to make the kind of painting in my mind that I've always wanted to make, if I stay on that path, you know, and I keep practicing a little bit each year and making

4:09a little bit of progress each year, and it's not ever going to be like on the forefront. It's never going to be my biggest goal in my life. It's not really even a career goal. It's kind of just like something that I that I want, that will not happen unless I practice for a long period of time, a little bit at a time. So I think think about that too. Like, if there are little things in your life, like, you're like, I want to have. Have this, like, very decorated Nancy Myers house, and I want everything to be like vintage that is a long term project that would take five years, you know. Or if you want that sort of like closet that's, like, very cool and collected and styled and like vintagey that takes five years, you know, Emma's wearing a vintage piece right now that she wanted to point out to me, sorry, and I was laughing, because it's a Halloween vest, I'm depressed. I'm dopamine dressing. That's what she came in and said this morning. It was, it was, yeah, it is February, and she is wearing a Halloween vest, like a grandma style crocheted vest for her dopamine.

4:20Emma It has pumpkin buttons. And it did help a little bit. It did help a little bit. Elsie Yeah, anyway, okay, well, hopefully that was helpful. I think if you haven't ever made a vision board, try it, you'll like it. If you've never made a five year plan, try it, you'll like it. Emma If you think manifesting sounds stupid, just try it. Just try it. Elsie It's fun. It's fun. Okay, we have a journey to take. It is a Q and A journey from our listener, Linnea. She sent 433, Q and A's. So let's, let's get into it, because these are, they're very different, but they're all fun, and I want to answer all of them. The first one is follow up on Renee ramits book. So ramits books, if you are new listener or whatever, he was on our podcast a few times in the past, and he has two books I Will Teach You To Be Rich and money for couples. And he also has a great podcast. So there's also one of our like, yes. He's kind of our financial person that we like. Financial guru, yeah, yes.

4:34Anyway, so she says, follow up on her meets book. That book was a huge takeaway for me. And I wonder how over the years, you've refined or changed anything with finances. That is a good, personal and deep question. I love this question. Emma It was very classy too, because she's very like, it's very open ended. It wasn't like, How much money do you make now? It's more like, What's your relationship to money? Are you happy or is it different? You know, I'm like, Yes, this classy lady. I love it. Okay. Well, for me, I would say one of the things I sort of identified as I was learning from Ramin, which I'm still learning from him, but is, I don't want to think about my personal finances that much. I wanted to feel like they're kind of set. I know where I'm headed and my brain somewhere else. And I knew that I really wanted that for the years that I had young kids, I set up a lot of my life so that the years that I had young kids, that would be the main stressor that I would have. And by stressor I mean good and bad. I hope that's obvious, sure, and I think that I in some ways accomplish that, because currently, I really don't think about my personal finances. I'm still

4:47saving for retirement. I'm still, like, building certain things in certain areas. A number of things are happening behind the scenes that were set in place many, many years ago, and I don't think about them at all. And so in my own little way, I feel like I'm living the advice through me gave me, which is like, you know, sort of thinking about your money dials and your relationship to it, and like, do you want to be the person with the spreadsheet who updates it every single day? Or do you want to be a person who just, like, sets it and forget it? And I'm like, I knew that in the era that I'm in right now, mom with young kids, I wanted to be set it and forget it very much. And I am. And so I feel like, okay, I took room meets advice, and I made it work for myself. Great. So I don't know. I guess that's what comes to mind with answering this question.

4:56Elsie Oh, I love that. My answer is, I have a schedule to finish saving for retirement in a certain number of years, and I do like a monthly contribution. And it's, it's kind of the same as Emma. It's like, I don't have to think about it anymore. For the last few years, I was like, how much can I contribute? I was like, thinking about it all the time, right? Is this the right choice? Is this the wrong choice? Like, you know, when we were renovating our house that year, we didn't put very much towards our retirement, and I was, like, feeling guilty about it. So now I just have, like, it's a monthly thing. It's set, it's the same every month, and I know when will be completed with that goal, and I feel good about it, so I just, like, don't have to worry about anything else anymore if I want to do, like, extra fine, but it's not a thing that I'm like, thinking about or like agonizing about anymore, which is really nice. I feel like a lot of the things he teaches are just like, how to, like, put your money in an automation where you don't have to stress about it anymore, which is really cool. I feel like we're able to, like, spend guilt free, and it feels really

5:08good. I feel like we're also able to contribute a lot to like charitable things and like family members and friends and like things that are just happening in life that are like, we we want to help others. And so now I feel like there's just kind of like a peaceful attitude, like the way I was raised with, like the Dave Ramsey is like a lot of guilt, like in his his money teaching, it's a lot of like guilt. And, like, sort of, like, a restrictive mindset. And I feel like in this teaching, it's more like, Okay, this is what I'm gonna end on.

5:13The quote that I love, that he said, and I say it all the time, even in my own mind, is, if you have a problem that money can fix, that's what the money's for. You know, you don't have a problem, like, that's what the money's for, like, so I just think that that's such a great way of thinking about life and money. And I don't know, I think there's, like, too much moralizing and too much like, feelings attached to it, and just to, like, take that out of the equation is really nice.

5:18Emma Yeah, I kinda of agree with that. I don't have a lot of feelings towards my money. I don't feel stressed about it. I don't really even feel like, boastful or prideful. I just feel like, safety. Know what I'm doing. Made decisions long ago, sticking to them. That's it, no big deal. Like, and it's nice. It's a good feeling. Sometimes you just like, don't want to make a bunch of decisions all the time. You're like, I can't I got to make a million decisions for my kids all the time. What am I going to make for lunch? What am I going Am I gonna make for dinner? Why am I, you know, like, it's just a lot of things all the time. So it's like, I just want other areas of my life to be like, done deal. Everything's good. Don't have to think about that.

5:26So, yeah, it's good. Elsie So pick up her meets books. So they were called, I Will Teach You To Be Rich. And money for couples is his new one, and his podcast is also called money for couples. All right. The next question is, you speak lovingly on your creative childhood. Is there anything about childhood with your kids that is intentionally or not intentionally different from yours? For example, I grew up camping with my family, and it was a huge part of my childhood, and my kids have really only camped three or four times. My husband doesn't like it. It's a lot of work, and sometimes I'm sad that I'm not sharing that part of me with my kids. I think that's really relatable.

5:35Emma Yeah, it is. Elsie I have lots of examples like that. Actually, my husband grew up in a camping family. We both are not the camping type. We've never camped. We're probably not going to. If we did, it would be in our yard, and it would be like with an escape plan. You know what I mean? Emma That's why you do it in your yard. Elsie It's just not a thing that, like, brings me joy or pleasure whatsoever. And I think it's cool for other people. It sounds cool, but I don't want to do it.

5:46Emma It is a lot of work. Yeah, so I see that, I would say one thing I was thinking about with this is I don't really feel like I'm doing a lot of things intentionally different, but there are things that are different because I'm just a different person than my parents, but not in a like, I want to be different. I actually, like, think about my mom a lot and my parents a lot. I loved their parenting style because we do talk so fondly about our childhood, but I am different. And I also think, like, I have to kind of accept that about myself anyway. So like, I can, I can kind of say for sure that my kids childhood is going to have a lot more structure to it than our childhood did. And I don't know if that's for better or worse. I couldn't tell you, works much better for me as a parent, and it feels natural and good, at least for now. So I'm like, going with it, but I'm also like, that is different, because I think our childhood was pretty unstructured in many ways. Yeah, and my kids are just, they just have a lot more of, like, a schedule and certain things we do. And, you know, I don't know, but I also feel like, to be honest, I don't remember a lot of my really,

5:58really young years, which is still what I'm in with my kids. Yeah. So I'm like, I don't exactly know what I was doing with with my mom when I was two. I don't know exactly I was two. I don't remember, you know? So it's like, I'm also like, I think I have more of a sense of what my life was like in like, elementary school and middle school and high school, and my kids aren't even there yet. So I don't know. This isn't a very good answer. It's not very satisfying, but this is the truth.

6:03Elsie Yeah, no, I think the biggest difference I would say I'm marrying my mom's parenting quite a bit, and I have nothing but love for how I was raised, and I want to be the same kind of parents are. But yeah, I'm also like a different Enneagram and a different personality. And my husband's a different personality from my father. Emma I'm actually a lot more like our dad in some ways than I am our mom. Elsie Yeah, I know I see that, so, yeah, I would say the biggest thing that's different in my family is that we've set a goal that we want to travel a lot, and that's like a big priority to us, so that's something that we're always working on. And in my childhood, you know, we were, we didn't have the ability to travel a lot, and we didn't, didn't travel very much at all. And then what we did, we went to, like, sort of the same vacations, like, you know, visiting family, and then we went to this cute little campground thing that we did every year.

6:17Emma Cloud nine. Elsie Yeah, but I mean, other than that, that's the biggest thing I can think of. I'm pretty much trying to raise my kids the same way. Yeah. I actually hadn't really thought of how similarly I'm trying to do things until just now. So that's interesting. Do you want to read the next one? Emma Yes? And. The next question is, I'm older than y'all but my college roommates and I bonded over discovering our mutual love of the 1985 and 1987 PBS, version of Anne of Green Gables. I was nine when it came out. Megan follows was amazing, and we were desperately in love with Jonathan Crombie. It holds up over time. What were the movies that you guys watched on repeat, or and, or first actor crushes.

6:29Elsie Ooh, I love it. Okay, I just have to say, My children just watched the entire Anne of Green Gables. But I think it was two different series, and they love it, and it was really cute. And of Green Gables is epic. Emma Yeah, it's wonderful. Is a classic for all time. Elsie Okay, so childhood crush. So my first childhood crush in like third grade was Chris O'Donnell, who was in a Batman movie, and he played Robin. Emma And it was from the Batman movie?

6:39Elsie It was only from the Batman movie, okay, for sure. And then after that, I remember only my adult crushes, like my big early 90s and early 2000s my main two, and they both stand to this day, was Luke Wilson and Ewan McGregor. Ewan McGregor, so Luke Wilson, specifically from the Royal Tenenbaums. Oh, my God! And Ewan McGregor, specifically, well, from all these movies, but specifically from Malone Rouge, yeah. What about you? Emma I was thinking more like little, like little kid, and I was trying to remember anything, because I'm like, did I have a crush?

6:48Elsie Like, Jonathan Taylor, Thomas, yeah, like, that type of thing. Emma The one that came to mind was, do you remember Hanson? Well, yeah. Hanson, yeah, no. Boy Meets World TV show, yes. So the friend of the main character who in the show, his name is Sean, yeah. I don't know the actor's name. I could look it up. Adorable. I remember, I remember thinking he was so cute, and he was kind of like, I don't know if he was the bad boy, but he was like, more rebellious. I want to say I don't remember the plot of that show.

6:56Elsie He was sort of like their version of the morally gray character. Emma Yeah, I think he was meant to be morally gray, but it's like a family show on a network TV. Yeah, so yeah, but I remember thinking he was so cute, so there's that. But as far as, like, movies we watched over and over, we had, like, a collection of VHS tapes, and that was kind of it. And in my mind, it's like Sister Act, Sister Act, two little giants, rookie of the year. All of those were great big hits. Didn't have any crushes in those, necessarily. But I feel like I've watched Sister Act and Sister Act Two more times than any human should ever watch them, and I love them so much, so much.

7:05Elsie Yeah, no, me too. Emma Little Rascals, that one too, with the you know. So I was always like, Whoopi Goldberg. I was kind of like an icon for me growing up. And I'm like, Oh yeah, rascals, she's in that too. Elsie I think that a lot. I think about, like, Do you have a crush on the actor, or do you have a crush on the role, the character that they played? Because usually, for me, it's actually just the character that they played in that one context, like, I don't want them to be a real person at all. Yeah, you know, and that makes a difference, yeah?

7:15Emma Oh, for sure, yeah. Because I just love Hugh Jackman. Just straight up Hugh Jackman. Elsie Every version of Hugh Jackman, yeah. Emma It started with Wolverine, but then I was like, I think I just love this man. I don't actually know I'm not. I don't actually love this man. I don't know him at all. But you get it. Elsie She does though. Emma I'm being silly. Elsie It's like a 20 year long crush that started in high school. Emma So I feel like that might count for this. Yeah? Because I feel like the first X Men came out, I want to say I was in high school.

7:31Elsie Yeah, pretty sure. So, no, I remember when I was in my Ewan McGregor phase. You were in your Jackman phase, because they were like, our singing and dancing man. Emma That's true. Yeah. I didn't even know I could sing a dance at first. I was like, Wolverine, and then I saw him sing and dance. I'm like, Oh, my God, love him even more. Elsie Okay, it's time for our favorite segment. Would you like to read Dani's hot screaming hot take? Emma Yes. Here we go. Dani Says 99% of romantic comedies are terrible, especially for young people to watch. They peddle toxic relationship standards and set unrealistic expectations for in quotes, love and sex. Yes, even most Nancy Myers movies, I feel like that was directed at us. In this I love a good sex story. This isn't about being prudish. I just think that most rom coms are really bad cinema with really poor plots and don't add anything valuable to our culture.

7:45Elsie Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm taking out my fire extinguisher. I'm giving every full 360 squirt all the way around. It's just fogging up in here. Now we can discuss, first of all, really bad cinema, really poor plots. Don't add anything valuable to culture. I'm gonna have to disagree with most of this. Okay, what I will say that I agree with? There's a. Thread here that I can pull at that I think is good. I think that our movie relationships realistic, no, no, but we can use our adult brains to realize that we don't have to take them literally. It's a story in a movie. You know what I mean? Like, I think that, like, we kind of get that already. So I think that, like, if you take them literally, like you take a Nancy Myers movie and you're like that Jude Law character in the holiday I want my husband to be exactly like that. That's kind of your own fault. That's for believing that, that that's a person that exists in the world instead of a character in a movie. You know, like Jack Black, all of them, I mean, they're they're characters, they're perfect. They have, you know, like, 40 lines, and all of them are perfect, and they're, you know, Kate Winslet.

7:57Emma They were written for the screen. Elsie So I think that it's actually on you if you take it too seriously. That's my hot take. I think we should be able to enjoy. Like, are their relationships kind of toxic and unrealistic, sure, but I think they're saying they don't have anything valuable to add to our culture. Is kind of like, like, I can't give them another like, I don't know. Like, I just, I think they have lots of valuable things to add to our culture. I think that they're iconic, they're fun, they're escapism, they bring us joy. It's a holiday tradition, you know, it's something that you do with your sister and you cry a little bit, you know, every single year. Like, I mean, how is that not adding to our culture? So I would defy I will die on that hill. I will say I hard disagree with this one. But I mean, yeah, are they unrealistic and preposterous? Sometimes, yes, yes, so yes, I'll give you that.

8:09Emma Yes, I pretty much agree with you. And I'm like, first off, how dare you, Nancy Myers, how dare you? Why did you have to bring up Nancy Myers caveat and bring that into it? Because I could have gotten on board with you slightly, if you had said, except for Nancy Martin, but instead, you did this. No, it's but I don't agree, though, but I will say, okay, so it's tough to defend an entire category of something, because the truth is, yeah, in this category romantic comedies, there are some good ones, and there are some stinkers. And that's just, you know, try to defend any full category of anything. So, you know, I think you almost have to talk about some specifics before you can really see if you agree or disagree with someone. So I'll say that for this. But I would also point out it's called romantic comedies. I think it's just hard for me to be like, You know what? This comedy didn't teach me enough about life.

8:19Elsie It didn't reflect the real world perfectly enough. Emma Yeah, I'm like, Did you laugh? Did you enjoy yourself? I think that's what comedy is for. And if it did make you reflect on life in any way, or tug at your heart somewhat, wow. Now it really did. You know, like, then I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, this really went there. So because I'm just like, when I watch a Comedy, Romantic or otherwise, I'm just kind of, like, just wanting to chill. I'm probably like, eating some takeout and chilling for the night, like I actually don't necessarily need you to tell me what the perfect relationship is. Frankly, I don't look to movies to tell me that. Yeah, okay, so just make me laugh. Show me something wacky, give me a scenario that I will never see in the real world, because it has to be written and be on the screen for me to see it like, transport me somewhere interesting that I can't go to because I'm sitting on my couch.

8:31Elsie Make me fall in love with Jack Black and Jude Law in the same hour. Yeah, that is art. Emma Yeah, that is kind of art. I mean, Jack Black, you could get me there almost doing anything, because I love jack so much. But yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah. I mean, it's lower your expectations a little bit. And if you don't want to, and you just don't want to watch comedies, romantic or otherwise, no problem. It's not for everyone. That's fine, yeah, but, like, it's really not gonna teach you about relationships. I don't think you should get relationship advice from romantic comedies. You should just enjoy them. And if there is something in it that reminds you of something from life, very, good, excellent, fun, interesting, but, like, I don't know, so I'll say too, like in the category there are some that are more realistic than others, there are some that are more dramatic than others, and I tend to like those a little bit more than the ones that are just straight up wacky. But I also feel like straight up wacky is at least, like, it's got a lane, and it usually, they tend to really stay in that lane.

8:44Elsie For example, like, How to Lose a Guy in 10 days? You would say, straight up, wacky. Emma Yeah, you know, usually old school Matthew McConaughey ones are, like, just funny and fun. You should not get relationship advice from them, like the wedding planner. Don't get relationship advice from that. Just enjoy it. Just like have fun watching J Lo and Matthew McConaughey fall in love. It's fun if you only eat brown M M's after that, though, like, you're cool man. Like, this is just for fun. It's a movie. So I also have to say Nancy Myers movies again. How dare you I do think that they actually most of. Them, many of them do show this more complex thing that you don't see a lot of times in more wacky romantic comedies. And I think that's part of what makes them so timeless and fun. Same thing with Nora Ephron movies a lot of times. What else? Oh, I also just wrote that this is random, but I recently watched people we meet on vacation, which is an Emily when they turn into a movie. And I have no idea what the reviews are. I didn't look them up. I just watched it, and I loved it. My husband

8:57was like out one night, and I had takeout and watched it by myself, and it was a lovely evening. It was wonderful. I still think about the movie, and I really liked that book, too. So, and that's a romantic comedy, so there you go. Elsie Yeah, there aren't as many. They're a little bit of an endangered species in, you know, current movie theater, yeah, culture, there's not a so I feel like you have to kind of like, enjoy whatever you can get. And that's why a lot of the ones we talk about are older. I don't know if anyone saw but Nancy Myers did announce that she is making a new movie. And it is, it is a very big deal. It's been a long time, so it's a very very big deal.

9:06Emma There's also one out this has been a couple years ago now, but Jennifer Lawrence was in a romantic comedy that was more on the wacky side. It was like, she plays a woman her age, like, 3035, I don't know. And she's like, hired to date, slash sleep with like, an 18 year old. His parents hire her because they're like, We don't want him to go off to college a virgin, basically. Elsie What movie was that? Emma Okay, the movie's called No Hard Feelings. Okay, it came out some years ago, and it's more on the wacky side. Again. I don't think you are supposed to get relationship advice from this movie, but it was very funny and just just something really different that I hadn't really seen in this genre before, and I really appreciated it. I still think about scenes from it. It's just a really interesting movie. I also think Jennifer Lawrence tends to pick kind of interesting movies like I think she's an interesting actress. She's great who kind of does weird stuff here and there. And so when I saw she was doing a romantic comedy, I was like, Oh, I see that because I don't know what it's going to be. And it was weird. And I

9:21was like, well, that's fun. If you're like, Oh, it's a romantic comedy. This is how to fall in love and be in love. It's like, Nah, man, this is just, like, it's comedy. Yeah, it's just, just comedy with love in it. Don't worry about that so much sometimes. Elsie Yeah, to summarize, chill, yeah. You know what I mean, like, Let's just enjoy what we can get. You know, we are not canceling Nancy Meyer's movies. Hell no, not on my watch. No. Not now and not ever. Okay. I hope you all have a wonderful week. I'm gonna pass it on now to Nova for a joke or a fact with Nova, okay? Nova, what do you have for us this week?

9:29Nova I have a joke. Elsie A joke. Okay? Nova What do you do after giving your dog a bath? You pulled a pug out. Elsie Nice. All right. Thank you so much for joining us. We are out of hot takes now, so we need you to send us your hottest hot takes so that we can agree disagree or caveat for 15 minutes and our email is podcast at a beautiful mess.com We'll be back next week.