Second Date Update: Unwritten Rules For Fools

0:00Speaker 1:Happy Friday.

0:00Speaker 2:We're giving you a brand new episode today. So hopefully, you know, it just sets your weekend off right.

0:06Speaker 1:Makes you laugh a little.

0:07Speaker 2:It's Brooke and Jeffrey, and you have found the official second date podcast. So thanks for finding the OG. We appreciate that.

0:13Speaker 3:Yeah.

0:14Speaker 1:And what do you got in comments? Coronavirus, which is a terrible handle name.

0:18Speaker 3:That's the handle name. I just thought you were... yelling, coronavirus!

0:21Speaker 1:I mean, it could be the disease itself talking.

0:23Speaker 4:I don't know.

0:24Speaker 1:Wouldn't that be awesome?

0:25Speaker 2:I do feel like in another 10 or 20 years, it will be a baby name. We could survive anything, a type of thing like that. She's a little fighter. Well, coronavirus said, my mom said she wants some sort of animal plushie that makes Jose's laugh when.

0:42Speaker 3:You squeeze it.

0:43Speaker 1:Love you guys. Me and her listen on our way up to college and love every moment of it. That is brilliant.

0:49Speaker 3:I could sell that as merch. I could make Jose dolls that laugh.

0:52Speaker 1:Okay, what would the animal be, though? What stuffed animal.

0:55Speaker 5:Would you choose?

0:55Speaker 2:I'm the animal.

0:56Speaker 3:I'd be a little brown boy.

0:57Speaker 1:You would make it look like you. It's like a baby doll. It's a human.

1:00Speaker 2:A human that can cuddle other single people like me.

1:03Speaker 1:Oh, this is getting creepy. I thought you were going to go to Build-A-Bear and just do some recording.

1:07Speaker 3:Better idea, full body pillow.

1:09Speaker 2:Why do I just picture Jose being the only one that buys one?

1:12Speaker 1:Cuddling himself. That's what's going to happen.

1:15Speaker 2:All right, let's get to the brand new episode before we get any more new ideas right now.

1:19Speaker 4:That was brilliant.

1:21Speaker 1:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

1:22Speaker 4:Second date update.

1:24Speaker 6:When you spend the night with someone for the first time, are there some unwritten rules?

1:31Speaker 3:Like no hogging the bed sheets.

1:33Speaker 7:Oh, yeah.

1:34Speaker 1:And if you have to go to the bathroom, you have to shut the door.

1:36Speaker 3:Oh, yeah.

1:37Speaker 1:I mean, once you're in a relationship, it's kind of like maybe, maybe not. No, bro.

1:43Speaker 6:That falls into the bathroom ones. Two people, one toothbrush.

1:46Speaker 2:Oh.

1:47Speaker 3:Two people, one toilet.

1:49Speaker 1:You guys are so weird.

1:50Speaker 3:Well, the truth is, I don't know. What are these unwritten rules?

1:53Speaker 6:We really need somebody to write them down, because I only know the gentleman one about leaving cash on the nightstand.

1:59Speaker 3:Very good about it.

2:00Speaker 1:That's just a tip, right?

2:01Speaker 6:Yeah, but I bring it up because one of our listeners, Jack, said he got the invite to stay the night after his date, but he's worried he may have accidentally broken one of her unwritten rules. So, Jack, first of all, welcome to the show.

2:17Speaker 5:Thank you. Thanks for having me.

2:18Speaker 1:Did you switch the tables and steal her hooded sweatshirt?

2:22Speaker 5:I did not steal anything.

2:26Speaker 1:Wait, did you say maybe?

2:28Speaker 3:I don't know.

2:30Speaker 6:You already sound like a hero in my book, but let's back up a little bit. Let's go to the beginning. What's her name and how did you two meet?

2:37Speaker 7:Her name is Sarah and we met in a Spanish class.

2:42Speaker 5:What they do is the.

2:43Speaker 7:Teacher will pair people together to speak Spanish. So I would sit next to her, hoping that.

2:49Speaker 5:You know, because she's very attractive.

2:51Speaker 2:Do you feel like you're in middle school all over again?

2:55Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.

2:55Speaker 2:Like just at the right time when she gets in there, just so you can get the seat that you want.

3:00Speaker 7:Yeah, like I would sit next to her, but we would never get paired up.

3:03Speaker 5:And so one night after class, we were talking and I just kind of made a joke, like I think that.

3:09Speaker 7:Santa sees you're jealous because I sit next to you hoping we get paired up and he never pairs us up.

3:15Speaker 5:And that kind of led to, you want to go out?

3:18Speaker 1:Yes. I mean, that was smooth.

3:20Speaker 2:That was like a way to say I like you without being too over the top about it.

3:26Speaker 3:I kind of thought so.

3:27Speaker 7:And my whole plan was like, hey, let's go to this Mexican restaurant and then we can practice our Spanish.

3:34Speaker 3:Oh, okay. And that's what we did.

3:36Speaker 7:Unfortunately, that particular night, all the white guys were working and no one there actually spoke Spanish.

3:43Speaker 3:Such an inauthentic experience.

3:45Speaker 1:You still learned what enchilada meant.

3:48Speaker 7:At this point, I'm thinking about the way I could speak Spanish. I had my go-to line, by the way.

3:53Speaker 5:I slipped on her, which I think helped.

3:55Speaker 1:What was it?

3:56Speaker 6:You have a line that you use during a date, not before a date?

4:00Speaker 7:Yeah, it's what I use to, like, raise my flirting game so she knows, like, I'm interested.

4:04Speaker 5:This isn't just like, hey, we're out practicing Spanish.

4:08Speaker 3:Okay, there's, okay, there's emotions behind this.

4:10Speaker 1:I can't wait to hear what it is.

4:11Speaker 3:Yeah, what is it?

4:13Speaker 5:The line is, if you were a twin, I'd still pick you.

4:17Speaker 4:Oh.

4:21Speaker 7:Laugh all you want, it works.

4:22Speaker 3:Alexis, you like it?

4:24Speaker 1:Doesn't even make that much sense.

4:25Speaker 7:I mean.

4:26Speaker 1:Alex doesn't get it.

4:28Speaker 3:I think it does make sense, but I don't know.

4:30Speaker 1:But like a twin isn't exactly, you're still.

4:32Speaker 2:He needs to say identical, but yeah. The thing is, it doesn't sound very smooth to work. Like, how do you work that naturally into a conversation?

4:41Speaker 7:You work at it naturally after like three or four margaritas.

4:44Speaker 1:Oh, I was going to say.

4:46Speaker 2:Do you have any siblings?

4:47Speaker 4:Yeah.

4:47Speaker 3:And then you respond. If you slur it, it sounds sexy. What was her reaction?

4:52Speaker 1:Yeah, what did she say?

4:54Speaker 5:She laughed. You know, it was funny.

4:56Speaker 7:Of course.

4:57Speaker 2:Yeah.

4:57Speaker 3:Alexis, we'll give you five margaritas and then you hear it. Then I'll maybe laugh.

5:02Speaker 6:But the line must have worked because it says here you went back and ended up at her place.

5:07Speaker 5:I did. I spent the night, but I spent the night on the couch. Like, nothing really happened. You know, I mean, you know, just good night or whatever.

5:15Speaker 3:Wait, wait, wait. That's probably a good thing.

5:17Speaker 2:Can I ask how the couch came to be your bed? Was it your idea, her idea?

5:21Speaker 4:Mm-hmm.

5:22Speaker 7:I mean, it was the first date, so I wanted to put it out there.

5:25Speaker 5:I offered to be a gentleman.

5:26Speaker 7:Okay.

5:27Speaker 1:So when does the.

5:28Speaker 2:Like, maybe stealing thing come in or whatever you were talking about at the beginning? That's what he said in the, I remember I said the hoodie line and he was.

5:35Speaker 1:Like, kind of. Oh, sorry.

5:36Speaker 6:You mean the unwritten rule about spending the night?

5:40Speaker 4:Yeah, sure.

5:40Speaker 1:What did he do wrong? That's what I want to know. Because he obviously knows he did something.

5:45Speaker 3:I mean, I don't think it was wrong.

5:46Speaker 5:It might have looked bad.

5:48Speaker 1:So you wouldn't call it right either.

5:50Speaker 3:Okay. What happened?

5:53Speaker 7:So in the middle of the night, her bedroom door opens, and she comes out with a flashlight.

5:59Speaker 3:Uh-oh.

6:00Speaker 7:Then she sees me, and I am on.

6:04Speaker 5:The couch eating some of her chips.

6:06Speaker 7:Oh.

6:07Speaker 1:Oh, you're eating her food.

6:08Speaker 5:Okay.

6:09Speaker 4:Oh.

6:09Speaker 1:Some midnight munchies?

6:11Speaker 3:Just straight out of the bag.

6:12Speaker 7:Yeah, like, I never asked her, like, hey, can I get your chips or whatever?

6:16Speaker 5:And she didn't say anything. She just kind of went back to the bedroom.

6:21Speaker 2:Why do I imagine, like, a flashlight that just hits a raccoon and he's got red eyes?

6:26Speaker 7:Yeah.

6:27Speaker 1:Going to town out of a garbage can.

6:29Speaker 6:And he just freezes in total silence, hoping that she doesn't see. So you're thinking maybe the unwritten rule that you broke was rummaging through her food without permission.

6:41Speaker 7:That's what I'm thinking, or just the fact that I woke her up and ruined her beauty sleep might have pissed her off.

6:47Speaker 3:Yeah.

6:48Speaker 2:Either that or she forgot you were totally there, came out with a flashlight.

6:51Speaker 1:Oh, my God, I forgot.

6:53Speaker 4:Yeah.

6:53Speaker 3:This guy.

6:54Speaker 1:Like, oh, he didn't Uber home yet?

6:57Speaker 3:Yeah.

6:58Speaker 6:So since that kind of awkward end to the night, there's been a, what, a breakdown in communication between you two, or what's going on?

7:05Speaker 5:I mean, she's just been super cold. To me.

7:08Speaker 2:Oh. Like one-word answers via text type of thing?

7:11Speaker 3:Is it just C and no?

7:13Speaker 1:Okay, but it's spelled out Q-U-E this time?

7:16Speaker 4:Yes. What?

7:18Speaker 7:It's just, it's not good, and I was kind of hoping you guys could help me out.

7:22Speaker 3:Okay. Well, we'll do that for you.

7:24Speaker 6:We'll come back, and we will call Sarah and see if you broke the unwritten rule of touching her bag of cheddar and sour cream ruffles without permission when we do your second date update right after this.

7:35Speaker 3:Hold on.

7:35Speaker 5:How'd you know what kind of chips they were?

7:37Speaker 3:I can't resist those either, bro. Trust me. Hold on. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

7:42Speaker 4:Second date update.

7:44Speaker 6:After living this many years, I know of two golden rules to live by.

7:49Speaker 7:Okay.

7:50Speaker 3:Number one. Never touch a woman's purse.

7:53Speaker 4:Okay.

7:54Speaker 6:And number two, never ever touch a woman's family-sized bag of sour cream and cheddar ruffles while she's sleeping.

8:01Speaker 1:Don't you dare.

8:02Speaker 6:And unfortunately for our listener, Jack, he crossed one of those boundaries after a dinner date when he was given the chance to spend the night over at Sarah's place.

8:12Speaker 1:Yeah, did he ruin it?

8:13Speaker 3:Yeah, because it led to.

8:14Speaker 6:An awkward moment where she caught him in the middle of the night with a flashlight eating chips on her couch like some kind of dumpster raccoon. And he believes it's the reason he might not be getting another date.

8:27Speaker 1:I have an important question. Did you leave the bag empty or did you leave some for her to eat? Oh, that is important. Alexis may have nailed it.

8:33Speaker 3:There must have been some crumbs down in there at the bottom.

8:35Speaker 1:Nobody wants the crumbs, Jeff. Those are the worst people.

8:38Speaker 7:I only finished the bag because.

8:40Speaker 5:Like, she saw me.

8:42Speaker 1:Okay. And then guess what?

8:44Speaker 2:I bet he still rolled it up and put it on the counter as if there was something in it.

8:47Speaker 6:Well, chips aside, we're going to dial Sarah anyway and hopefully see if she can forgive you for your grave, grave error. Let's dial her number and see if she answers the phone.

8:57Speaker 2:I'd say chips ahoy right now, Jeff.

8:59Speaker 3:Those aren't chips.

9:00Speaker 2:Okay.

9:00Speaker 1:Come on, Brooke. That's a total save.

9:12Speaker 4:Hello?

9:14Speaker 3:Hey, is this Sarah?

9:16Speaker 4:Um, yeah, this is she.

9:17Speaker 1:You could say it with a smile on your voice.

9:19Speaker 7:Gosh.

9:19Speaker 6:I won't, because I know that Sarah's been through some tough times right now, and I want to be here for her in.

9:24Speaker 5:A time of need.

9:25Speaker 1:Hi, Sarah.

9:27Speaker 4:Um, hi.

9:28Speaker 2:Hi.

9:29Speaker 3:You probably don't know us. My name is Jeff.

9:31Speaker 6:I'm a very, very kind, loving soul of the member, a member of the show, Brooke and Jeffrey. Oh, okay.

9:37Speaker 2:Okay.

9:40Speaker 6:If you're not familiar, it's a segment where we try to help out listeners who've gone out with someone and afterwards they're not getting a call back. We can reach out on their behalf to see if there's a reason why.

9:49Speaker 4:Yeah, I think I've heard of that.

9:54Speaker 6:So in this case, we're reaching out on behalf of someone you hung out with the other night, a guy named Jack.

10:01Speaker 5:Okay.

10:04Speaker 4:This is, this is a joke, right? Like you're, this is some type of joke.

10:08Speaker 1:No, Jack, Jack from your Spanish class.

10:11Speaker 3:Yeah.

10:12Speaker 4:Oh yeah. I know Jack from Spanish class.

10:14Speaker 7:Sure.

10:15Speaker 1:Um, what's funny about it?

10:17Speaker 7:Yeah.

10:18Speaker 4:Well, I'm just confused. Like he reached out to y'all about me.

10:24Speaker 6:Jack told us about the two of you and how you met and going out to eat at a Mexican place the other night.

10:31Speaker 3:It would seem like a fun date that we heard about. And then he.

10:37Speaker 1:Was like really flirty and into you. Was he not?

10:43Speaker 4:I think being into me is a bit of the problem actually. Cause do you know where he's reaching like out to you from?

10:52Speaker 6:No, we don't, we don't do like tracking locations of everybody that calls into the show. We just know that Jack says you've been acting kind of cold towards him lately.

11:00Speaker 1:I don't get it. What do you mean from where, from his phone?

11:05Speaker 4:Well, it might be his phone, but you know where he was last time I checked was he was still at my place.

11:12Speaker 7:Huh?

11:13Speaker 4:What? He's been at my place for like two days now. What?

11:17Speaker 3:No way.

11:18Speaker 2:What?

11:19Speaker 3:Two days?

11:20Speaker 1:Jack's in your house? Are you in your apartment?

11:22Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah. And, like, yeah, maybe I've been cold because he was supposed to be gone.

11:28Speaker 7:Oh, my God.

11:29Speaker 3:Hold on.

11:30Speaker 2:Wait, he didn't say that you weren't calling him back. He just said you'd been cold to him.

11:35Speaker 4:Yeah, well, because there's no reason to call him.

11:37Speaker 7:He's always there. Girl. What?

11:39Speaker 2:Like, you're saying that the first night you guys went to the Mexican restaurant... He stayed the night on the couch, and when you left and came home from work, he was still there.

11:48Speaker 1:Oh, my gosh.

11:49Speaker 4:Well, okay, yes. A little bit is maybe my fault, because I guess if you give somebody an inch, they take a mile. But, like, he gave me the sob story about something funky is going on with his lease. It'll only take 24 hours. Oh. But then it's, like, it keeps getting extended.

12:05Speaker 2:Oh.

12:06Speaker 4:Oh, man.

12:06Speaker 1:Oh, no.

12:07Speaker 4:I mean, it was actually not even an issue until when I came home from work and, like, he said that he was going to be gone by then, but he wasn't. He was home and watching TV with his feet up on the table and he's in his boxers.

12:20Speaker 1:In his boxers?

12:21Speaker 7:What?

12:21Speaker 4:Yeah. And the worst thing is he doesn't replenish the snacks.

12:25Speaker 1:Oh, God.

12:26Speaker 3:The worst thing. Yeah, that's definitely the biggest transgression that he's made so far. I can't believe he's been in your house.

12:33Speaker 1:He was calling from your apartment. I mean, did he put pants on ever?

12:37Speaker 3:Okay.

12:39Speaker 4:That's why I don't understand he's calling you about me. This is honestly, this is backwards. You need to help me, actually.

12:47Speaker 3:I'm sorry.

12:48Speaker 6:When we spoke to Jack, he did not mention that he had been basically living and crashing in your apartment for days on end.

12:55Speaker 3:That was.

12:56Speaker 2:We didn't ask how he left because we just assumed he left.

12:59Speaker 3:Like normal people do after a date.

13:01Speaker 6:But now we can't ask him about that because he's already on the phone listening in on this conversation as we speak.

13:10Speaker 3:Jack, I'm not. What the heck, dude?

13:15Speaker 1:Are you still there, Jack?

13:16Speaker 5:Oh, my God.

13:18Speaker 3:I mean, I'm here right now. What are you doing, man?

13:22Speaker 7:We talked about this they were painting the apartment and like the fumes and stuff but i mean i'm gonna be gone soon.

13:32Speaker 4:Let's see what the story is tomorrow too i don't know i mean it's just like you're pulling excuses out of a hat i'm very confused on how my life actually wait a.

13:43Speaker 7:Minute So just so you know, like, OK, the reason I called them was because you were kind of cold to me this morning. And I thought a second day would be cool.

13:55Speaker 5:Right.

13:55Speaker 7:Because, like, you know, this is the thing where, like, they will pay for a second day.

14:00Speaker 5:Like, I think we should do that.

14:03Speaker 4:You cannot be serious.

14:05Speaker 6:Jack, the point of this segment is for people who, like, can't get in touch with the person anymore.

14:10Speaker 3:We'll reach out to them. Not like I'm squatting in their home and they're not being nice about it. And paying for the date is literally a cherry on top.

14:17Speaker 5:Yeah.

14:18Speaker 3:Kind of be like, you're welcome. We'll sneak in the deal for you.

14:21Speaker 4:Not the point.

14:21Speaker 5:Well, I mean, it's kind of the same thing. Like, she's not really talking to me very much.

14:26Speaker 2:Dude, well, Jack, you cannot be this thick-skulled.

14:29Speaker 1:I mean, come on.

14:29Speaker 2:You know that she doesn't want you there anymore, right?

14:32Speaker 7:Okay, Sarah, we're just, like, really off track here. Like, I think we need to focus on the relationship, like, and how to fix this.

14:41Speaker 5:Like, you just kind of.

14:43Speaker 7:I mean, seriously, like, forget... Okay, forget for a second that I'm here staying at your place on the couch or whatever.

14:50Speaker 5:Like, I want to focus on us.

14:52Speaker 6:I mean, it might help, Jack, if you at least started with replenishing her Wheat Thins after you eat them all.

14:57Speaker 3:But, Sarah, I mean... Okay.

15:00Speaker 4:Yes.

15:01Speaker 3:Objectively, it's a weird situation. I think we all agree with that.

15:04Speaker 6:But let's go to the heart of the situation, specifically Jack's heart.

15:08Speaker 3:How do you think he feels right now?

15:10Speaker 4:I know how he feels. He feels hungry, okay? Because, you know, he texted me to bring home some ice cream like an hour ago.

15:17Speaker 3:Probably to split together with you, to share. That's unbelievable, dude.

15:22Speaker 2:Jack, you don't have anyone in your life that you can live with instead of a woman that you wanted to go on a.

15:28Speaker 1:Oh, my God.

15:28Speaker 7:I mean, she invited me to her place.

15:31Speaker 5:That's why I'm here.

15:32Speaker 7:I only needed, like, a night or two.

15:34Speaker 3:Does that mean you're done?

15:35Speaker 6:Does that mean today's the last day, and by the time she gets home, you're gone?

15:39Speaker 7:It could be even before that.

15:41Speaker 5:It could be, like, in the next minute.

15:42Speaker 3:Like, I'm just waiting on the call.

15:44Speaker 2:Oh, you're waiting for management to allow him back in painting.

15:48Speaker 5:The painters.

15:49Speaker 3:The painting.

15:51Speaker 4:Yes. Okay.

15:52Speaker 6:We're talking about the wrong things here. Let's ask the important question. What type of ice cream is it that we're going.

15:58Speaker 3:To be splitting later?

15:59Speaker 7:I mean, you guys are having a go at this or whatever, but I'm serious.

16:03Speaker 5:Like, I like her.

16:04Speaker 7:I think we have a future, and I would like another date to, you know, work this out. Okay.

16:12Speaker 6:Well, maybe we can meet somewhere in the middle and throw out a Ben and Jerry's gift card for the two of you to share, because we would send you on a date there if you're open to seeing him.

16:21Speaker 3:Well, I mean... You're probably going to see him no matter what, Sarah.

16:23Speaker 1:No, it could be any minute that he's gone, Jeff.

16:26Speaker 6:It could be, and you might never see him again afterwards if you don't agree to another date, and we would pay for it.

16:33Speaker 4:Oh, gosh. It's a no. Very gently, Jack. I'm sorry. I've had enough of you.

16:42Speaker 1:You're just saying gently so that he doesn't screw up anything.

16:44Speaker 3:He's going to break something. I'm not that type of guy.

16:48Speaker 5:I screwed this up.

16:51Speaker 3:I wish you the best.

16:53Speaker 5:Picking up ice cream, though, anyway.

16:55Speaker 4:Oh, my gosh.

16:57Speaker 1:Get your own snacks, Jack.

16:59Speaker 4:I guess I might as well.

17:00Speaker 3:Oh, she's going to do it.

17:03Speaker 4:Parting ice cream.

17:06Speaker 5:Wow, thank you, Sarah. You're amazing. Please get back soon.

17:11Speaker 3:I can't wait to see you again. I can hear a stomach start to rumble. This is getting dire.

17:16Speaker 1:I don't think he's going anywhere.

17:19Speaker 7:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

17:22Speaker 6:I don't know why, but I wouldn't be surprised if they actually end up going out on a date again.

17:27Speaker 1:I'm not either.

17:27Speaker 2:I thought she was like setting her boundaries and then agreed to bring.

17:32Speaker 1:Ice cream home.

17:33Speaker 3:I know.

17:34Speaker 6:She's going to come home with that Haagen-Dazs and this is going to be his third straight week in his boxers on her couch. And then he's going to propose, probably using a ring that he found while going through her drawers.

17:43Speaker 1:Or when he asked her to pick up on the way home.

17:46Speaker 7:Probably.

17:46Speaker 6:And she'll be like, well, I mean, we're already living together, so yes.

17:51Speaker 2:Yeah.

17:52Speaker 6:It was a no on the radio, but I have a feeling her mind is going to change now that she's not on the show.

17:57Speaker 1:This is what I need an update from.

17:59Speaker 7:Yes.

18:00Speaker 1:I need closure to know that he actually left.

18:03Speaker 5:Yes.

18:04Speaker 6:And maybe squatting in someone's house is the true way to get to someone's house.

18:08Speaker 7:No, Jeff.

18:09Speaker 4:Maybe.

18:10Speaker 3:That's where true love comes from.

18:11Speaker 1:That is not what we're endorsing.

18:13Speaker 7:Okay.

18:13Speaker 6:Well, we are endorsing. You can always email us if you need help with your love life.

18:17Speaker 3:We're cool with that. Email the show.

18:19Speaker 6:We'll call that person who's not calling you back and go find all of our second day podcasts are up online wherever you get yours at Brooke and Jeffrey.