Awkward Thursday: Hopsticle Course

0:00Speaker 1:Hey, I mean, why not double awkward this week, right? Yeah, why not? It's Luke and Jeffrey in the morning. We got a brand new awkward Thursday phone call today. I'm sorry it's not the follow-up to Tuesday yet. That will be in a week, okay?

0:11Speaker 2:Yes.

0:11Speaker 3:We've got to give these time as well.

0:13Speaker 1:It's going to take a minute to get this fiancé on the phone. Yes.

0:16Speaker 4:But today is a brand new episode that I hope that you enjoy. Before we get to it, comments.

0:21Speaker 5:Karen said, I listen to you on an old school radio every morning commuting to college.

0:27Speaker 1:Oh, 2017.

0:28Speaker 5:2017.

0:28Speaker 1:So a while ago she used to.

0:30Speaker 6:Never mind.

0:31Speaker 1:Listened past tense.

0:32Speaker 7:Read that wrong.

0:33Speaker 1:But now you're on the podcast.

0:34Speaker 2:Now you're here.

0:35Speaker 1:Now you're on the podcast. 2017, you're on the radio. Now you're here with us. I love that.

0:40Speaker 4:Hit that subscriber button and enjoy your new episode.

0:44Speaker 2:When you think of your bucket list trip, I know for Jose, it's Japan because of the local culture and the food there. Yeah, the food. You know what? Screw the culture, man.

0:54Speaker 3:Just give me all the sushi.

0:55Speaker 6:You know what I'm saying?

0:56Speaker 2:All of it, though.

0:57Speaker 4:I'm kidding.

0:58Speaker 2:For Alexis, it's Camas for the culture and the food. Her hometown. My hometown. Specifically, the Mexican restaurant off Highway 14 after 1 a.m. on Thursday nights. It's just different. That's culture. But for one of our listeners, he has the chance to take the trip of a lifetime with one of his coworkers. All expenses paid if we can give him the right advice.

1:24Speaker 6:Oh.

1:24Speaker 2:And you know that's unlikely. But we're going to try coming up in your brand new Awkward Thursday phone call right after this.

1:31Speaker 6:It's Awkward.

1:33Speaker 2:It's Thursday. It's Awkward.

1:36Speaker 3:Thursday.

1:36Speaker 6:Phone call.

1:38Speaker 2:On this show of apex carnivores, we love beef. Mongolian beef, wagyu beef, sometimes even impossible beef. But maybe our favorite is office beef. When two co-workers aren't quite seeing eye to eye or rib eye to rib eye. And that's why one of our listeners, Caden, emailed the show because he's dealing with a slab of juicy grade A office beef and he wants some help cutting it up.

2:11Speaker 1:Every time you say beef, your voice gets lower.

2:14Speaker 2:That's just what happens. The testosterone comes through. So Caden, we'll get to your beef in just a second. But first, something is going on in your office that brought this all about. That's what your email said. So tell us about that.

2:27Speaker 6:Yeah, so I work with a good friend of mine named Violet.

2:30Speaker 1:Okay.

2:31Speaker 6:And every year our office does something called the Olympic Office Games.

2:35Speaker 1:Oh, that sounds kind of fun.

2:36Speaker 2:It's a fight to the death sort of thing.

2:38Speaker 6:Exactly right.

2:39Speaker 4:I was thinking more you push each other in roller chairs to see if you could make it.

2:43Speaker 2:Down the hallway.

2:44Speaker 6:Yeah, like chair races and three-legged, you know, all that stuff. Okay.

2:48Speaker 1:No jousting, Jeff.

2:49Speaker 6:Oh, okay.

2:50Speaker 1:Have you and what was the woman's name again? I'm sorry.

2:53Speaker 6:Violet.

2:53Speaker 1:Have you and Violet worked together for a long time?

2:56Speaker 6:Yeah, I want to say four years.

2:58Speaker 1:Oh, it's a while.

2:59Speaker 6:All right.

3:00Speaker 1:Is she like your work wife or your BFF at work?

3:03Speaker 6:Yeah, we're close friends.

3:05Speaker 1:Okay, cool.

3:05Speaker 2:OK, yeah.

3:07Speaker 6:So they do this every year. It's a morale booster. They pick teams and you do all these little games. OK, so these Olympic office games.

3:15Speaker 2:And do people in the office get really competitive with it? Like they care a lot about who wins.

3:20Speaker 4:Because no one is competitive in our office in here.

3:24Speaker 6:It's so silly. But yeah, people do take it seriously.

3:27Speaker 1:I mean, that's what makes it fun.

3:28Speaker 5:Totally.

3:29Speaker 1:Totally. If you don't care, then you're not in it.

3:31Speaker 6:Yeah.

3:32Speaker 2:Somebody needs to cry by the time that they leave for the.

3:34Speaker 6:End of the day.

3:35Speaker 2:Thank you, Jeff.

3:35Speaker 6:That's a good work day.

3:36Speaker 1:Thank you.

3:37Speaker 6:Yeah. So this past year, the contest added another game called the Hopstacle Course.

3:43Speaker 1:Hopstacle. Explain it to us.

3:44Speaker 2:Beer drinking?

3:46Speaker 6:No, actually, it's like going through cubicles and just create this whole course.

3:52Speaker 2:Ah, I did like Jeff's idea better.

3:53Speaker 6:Yeah, I would rather do that one.

3:56Speaker 2:But yours sounds more like a physical, actual hopping around the office.

4:00Speaker 6:Yes. Okay. So Violet wasn't picked for it, and I kind of felt bad because.

4:05Speaker 1:She's really good at hopping?

4:07Speaker 6:Really, really good.

4:08Speaker 2:Oh, the knees. So much bounce in those knees.

4:11Speaker 4:Why would you feel bad that she didn't get to do the obstacle course?

4:15Speaker 6:Well, she just didn't get in any games.

4:18Speaker 5:Yeah, someone's secret planning to sabotage her.

4:29Speaker 1:Alexis and I were looking for more drama in that.

4:32Speaker 2:But if it's something that she really wanted to do and she doesn't get to, I can understand why her morale would be hurt.

4:38Speaker 1:Yeah, that sucks. Let her do the next one.

4:40Speaker 7:I mean, like.

4:41Speaker 6:Who cares?

4:42Speaker 1:Can't be that stiff of rules.

4:43Speaker 6:Yeah, that's the point, because the obstacle course was the last event.

4:46Speaker 1:The last chance to shine.

4:48Speaker 6:So I pretended to screw up my ankle from another game, and I said, you got to sub for me.

4:54Speaker 2:Good friend, bro. You faked an injury?

4:57Speaker 1:That's right.

4:58Speaker 6:Yeah, so Violet's in on it. So she's doing the obstacle course. Sweet.

5:03Speaker 2:And the injury happens on office property, so they're required to pay for the medical bills, too. I like that.

5:08Speaker 6:Right?

5:09Speaker 2:There you go.

5:11Speaker 1:Don't forget which ankle you said you hurt.

5:14Speaker 2:Diabolic. I'm still not understanding where the office beef comes in, but keep going.

5:20Speaker 6:Well, she ends up going to win this thing. She wins the obstacle course.

5:24Speaker 5:Really?

5:25Speaker 6:Yeah, and I'm like, Violet, way to go. But I didn't realize the prize was, it was a trip for two to the Bahamas. What? Wait, what? What? I mean, and I've been there for six years, guys. They'd never given away anything like that.

5:40Speaker 2:For hopping around the office.

5:43Speaker 6:Okay. So everybody's shocked. I'm, like, jumping up and down, hugging her.

5:47Speaker 2:Jumping up and down on your hurt ankle.

5:48Speaker 6:Oh, no.

5:49Speaker 2:That's not a good look.

5:50Speaker 6:Right, right. I was hopping on one foot. There we go. And I was just so happy for her. This was great.

5:56Speaker 7:Yeah.

5:56Speaker 6:Okay.

5:57Speaker 3:What?

5:58Speaker 1:When does the jealousy set in?

6:00Speaker 6:A trip or two to the Bahamas, I'm like, wait a minute. Nobody's ever done this before. So I just started trying to move the conversation over to, hey, so who are you going to take? You know, like, what's going on?

6:13Speaker 2:I mean, the guy that took the fall for you so that you could compete in this event would be a pretty sweet thing. Wouldn't you say, Violet?

6:21Speaker 3:I mean, you should have said that instead of giving her an open option. I would have been like, I can't believe we are going to the Bahamas.

6:27Speaker 2:Right. So what happened?

6:30Speaker 6:So she's not asking me. Days have gone by. She hasn't asked me. Okay.

6:35Speaker 1:Can I ask, does she have like a partner that she would take over you? Because then you've got no chance.

6:41Speaker 6:No, she is single. So I need to figure out how to start a conversation with her where she sees that, you know, hey, we should be going on this together.

6:54Speaker 2:Because you're the reason that she got to participate in the event at all.

6:58Speaker 6:So that's why I'm calling you guys.

7:00Speaker 2:So what are you looking like? What advice are you looking for from us for this awkward call?

7:06Speaker 6:Like what I should talk to her, how I should frame it to get me to be her plus one for the Bahamas.

7:13Speaker 2:You know, it's kind of funny. We were all excited, but now the room went quiet when they realized that we actually have to step up and do something to help you. That's a lot of pressure on us.

7:23Speaker 1:This isn't as easy as the Hopsicle course, Jeff, okay?

7:27Speaker 6:I'm relying on your persuasion skills, guys.

7:29Speaker 1:Hey, there it is.

7:30Speaker 2:We can only do so much because you're the one that's going to have to actually make the call when we come back And reach out to your co-worker and convince her that she needs to bring you on her trip to the Bahamas coming up.

7:43Speaker 6:Yeah.

7:44Speaker 1:Hey, I'd say get that zinc ready sunscreen.

7:47Speaker 6:Oh, no.

7:47Speaker 1:Let's think of something better before the advice part. Get that Speedo snapping.

7:53Speaker 2:All right. It's getting worse by the second. We'll come back and hopefully have some good advice with your awkward Thursday phone call right after this.

8:01Speaker 6:Hold on. It's awkward.

8:03Speaker 2:It's Thursday. It's awkward. Thursday.

8:06Speaker 6:Phone call.

8:09Speaker 2:If you're just joining us, we're hoping to send our listener, Caden, down to the beautiful Bahamas on vacation if we can help him convince his co-worker, Violet, to take him with her.

8:21Speaker 1:That's right.

8:21Speaker 2:Because here's the thing. She won an office competition where he had faked an injury just so that she could sub in for him and participate. and she ended up winning a paid trip for two to the Caribbean islands.

8:35Speaker 1:Oh, had he known that that was what was on the line.

8:37Speaker 2:He never would have faked that injury and let her even join, but you'd think that Hugh would be the first choice as her plus one.

8:44Speaker 1:I mean, she's single. We do have to establish that.

8:47Speaker 2:We know that, and he was the one that let her take his spot.

8:50Speaker 1:Totally, and they're good friends.

8:52Speaker 2:But it's been a week, and she has since said nothing. That's why he's come to us seeking advice on how to sway her to pick him as her travel partner, and we need some advice. So, Brooke, what do you have for us?

9:03Speaker 4:Okay, I got you, because you work in an office. I bet you've done some sales in your life. You just need to pitch her. The top three reasons you're the best for the Bahamas.

9:12Speaker 2:Well, do you have a pitch that he should use, or are you asking him to come up with one?

9:16Speaker 1:Yeah, what's great about you? What's your number one reason why someone would have fun with you on vacation?

9:22Speaker 6:I don't snore. I like that. Yes.

9:25Speaker 2:That's good.

9:27Speaker 4:I was thinking more like your vacation style.

9:29Speaker 6:Yeah.

9:29Speaker 4:You know, like Jose I know likes to chill at the pool, stay around the hotel, like make it relaxing.

9:35Speaker 1:Me, I like 12 activities before noon. You better be ready to go. Where are you at?

9:40Speaker 6:I'm somewhere between relaxing and maybe doing a few things.

9:44Speaker 3:You're down to zipline at 7 a.m., but you'll be asleep on the zipline.

9:47Speaker 6:Yeah.

9:48Speaker 1:But not snoring.

9:49Speaker 2:But not snoring. I forgot.

9:51Speaker 6:I'm all about having a drink in my hand.

9:54Speaker 3:That's good.

9:55Speaker 2:Say that one.

9:55Speaker 1:You're easygoing.

9:56Speaker 2:You're up for anything. So that could be a good pitch. Jose, what's yours?

10:00Speaker 3:Well, you got to just ask her who she's bringing. Then say, hey, we're good friends. Maybe I could help you with the decision.

10:07Speaker 1:Oh, you're expecting her to say, I don't know?

10:09Speaker 2:Probably hasn't decided yet. Or she's between a few people.

10:13Speaker 1:Well, you hope.

10:13Speaker 3:If she does bring up a person that you know, you suddenly tell her why that wouldn't be a great choice. Sabotage them.

10:22Speaker 4:Thank you.

10:23Speaker 2:Yeah, a little bit of that.

10:24Speaker 3:And then you're going to naturally just look like the best available option.

10:27Speaker 2:Are you as comfortable as us as crap-talking your coworkers?

10:30Speaker 7:Or her family and friends?

10:32Speaker 6:I mean, I don't want to sound desperate in the pitch, but.

10:35Speaker 1:Well, then don't. I mean, what do you have to lose? You don't have the trip already, right?

10:40Speaker 6:You're right. You're right.

10:41Speaker 2:Okay, so you can use as much or as little of our advice as you want to, but I'm going to dial your coworker, Violet, and hopefully you can convince her to take you to the Bahamas, my friend. So here we go.

10:51Speaker 6:I'm going to dial her right now.

10:53Speaker 2:We'll jump in if we feel like you need a little help. Let's do it.

10:56Speaker 3:Hello?

11:04Speaker 6:Hey, Violet. Hayden? It's me, yeah. Oh, hey.

11:11Speaker 3:How you doing?

11:13Speaker 6:Good. How you doing with getting ready for your trip?

11:19Speaker 7:Oh, my gosh. I am so excited. I can't stop thinking about it. It's going to be so great.

11:24Speaker 6:I've got to pick a date soon. I've never done anything like that.

11:27Speaker 7:What's that?

11:29Speaker 6:The company's never done anything like that, so this is.

11:31Speaker 7:Really a big deal. Yeah, I'm not questioning it. I'm not looking a gift horse in the mouth. I'm just going to roll with it.

11:39Speaker 6:Awesome.

11:39Speaker 7:I've just been looking at the resort stuff, and there's so much fun stuff to do.

11:43Speaker 6:What do you want to do when you get there?

11:47Speaker 7:I like to do a lot of activities, so I don't know. I haven't really picked anything yet because you know what I'm kind of stuck on?

11:55Speaker 6:Mm-hmm.

11:57Speaker 7:I got to pick a plus one.

11:59Speaker 4:Hmm.

11:59Speaker 6:I didn't even think of that.

12:03Speaker 1:Oh.

12:03Speaker 7:Yeah, I know, right? It's the hardest part. Yeah, there's a plus one. So that's where I'm really stuck. But I just, I narrowed this down, you know, because I think it should probably be someone from work.

12:15Speaker 6:Oh, my gosh. No, that's a good idea. Oh. Yeah.

12:19Speaker 7:You know what I was thinking?

12:21Speaker 6:You know who I was thinking that I think I might ask is Marissa.

12:24Speaker 3:Who?

12:24Speaker 6:What? Hmm.

12:26Speaker 7:You know Marissa? Yeah, she is so sweet. I mean, I really like her a lot.

12:33Speaker 6:Well, didn't she get in trouble with the law like a few years back? What? Yeah, nothing big. I just don't want you to have a problem with TSA or something like that. No, not Marissa.

12:48Speaker 7:She's not on the no-fly list.

12:51Speaker 6:Yeah, I don't have any idea. I know it's an international trip and stuff. You got to do your passport. I mean, maybe you should think of somebody else too. You got another person you're thinking of?

13:03Speaker 7:Yeah, you know what? I kind of do have like a backup person that I'm thinking of. You know, Tony, he is so freaking fun. Can you imagine... I mean, right? Like silent disco after the rum cocktails.

13:22Speaker 6:That would be so fun. Yeah, but I mean, sometimes he can take things a little too far, you know? Maybe not.

13:32Speaker 7:I mean, we're on vacation. How far?

13:33Speaker 6:What do you mean?

13:34Speaker 7:But you're supposed to like let.

13:36Speaker 6:Your hair down. Exactly. Like I've heard he lets more than his hair down.

13:42Speaker 7:What are you? You know which Tony I'm.

13:45Speaker 6:Talking about, don't you? Oh, I know Tony. Yeah, bony Tony. I know him.

13:51Speaker 7:You know what? You are not making this easier on me, man.

13:55Speaker 6:Well, no, I'm sorry, but it's just a big decision is all. Oh, shoot.

14:02Speaker 7:Do you think Hillary is thinking she's going to go.

14:05Speaker 6:Our boss? You can't be serious.

14:08Speaker 7:What do you mean? Because Hillary, you think she brought the hard travel partner.

14:12Speaker 6:She does wear a lot of perfume. Yeah, that's an understatement.

14:17Speaker 3:Yeah.

14:18Speaker 6:I mean, maybe there's another option. Have you thought about maybe me as your plus one?

14:27Speaker 7:Yeah, but I want to do fun stuff like activities, jet ski, pickleball, maybe surfing, you know?

14:33Speaker 6:But I can do all those things. I can do all of it. No, you can't.

14:39Speaker 7:You busted your ankle. You can't do anything.

14:42Speaker 6:That wasn't real. Come on. Wait.

14:49Speaker 7:Wait a minute.

14:50Speaker 2:Why are there people laughing?

14:51Speaker 6:Where the heck are you?

14:52Speaker 1:Conference room.

14:55Speaker 2:The conference room is actually a radio show that you're on right now, Violet, called Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

15:01Speaker 4:Go.

15:02Speaker 7:Wait a minute.

15:02Speaker 5:Why am I on the radio?

15:05Speaker 6:Violet, I faked the injury. I'm fine. I just wanted you to participate in the obstacle course.

15:11Speaker 2:You didn't know that, Violet? We thought that you were in on that piece of information. Great acting skills.

15:16Speaker 1:No, I've been looking around.

15:18Speaker 7:How am I supposed to know?

15:19Speaker 3:There wasn't like a wink-wink moment between the whole thing?

15:23Speaker 2:Caden, you must have really sold the injury. Just fall on the floor.

15:27Speaker 6:No, I got picked. You didn't. And I felt bad. So I wanted to make sure you could play. So I think the injury.

15:35Speaker 2:Oh, that's a good friend.

15:37Speaker 6:I mean, okay.

15:39Speaker 7:But I didn't know that.

15:41Speaker 6:Okay.

15:43Speaker 1:I thought you'd say thank you.

15:44Speaker 5:Yeah.

15:44Speaker 1:He got you a chance to win this trip.

15:46Speaker 2:That's what this call is about because he was assuming since he had kind of gone out of his way to make sure you could participate in the, or whatever it was called.

15:56Speaker 6:Obstacle course.

15:57Speaker 2:Obstacle course, yeah. That you would be like, oh, yeah, I should take Caden as my plus one to the Bahamas.

16:03Speaker 4:You just even said, like, you're such a good friend to him, and you trust him.

16:07Speaker 7:I mean, I did trust him, and now here we are on the radio, and he didn't tell me that.

16:13Speaker 6:So that was a weird surprise.

16:16Speaker 2:Well, it's a little sneaky. And it was mostly Brooke's idea to put you on the radio too. So blame her.

16:23Speaker 6:What I'm doing right now is nowhere near what Marissa was doing. I mean, we don't know how bad her shoplifting charges or whatever it was.

16:31Speaker 3:She's got a whole rap show.

16:32Speaker 6:I don't have a rap sheet.

16:34Speaker 2:Okay.

16:34Speaker 1:Kaden, the door is open. Pitch her. Tell her why you're the best pick. Now's the time.

16:39Speaker 6:Yes. Look, I can do all the rides and all the activities.

16:45Speaker 2:The jet.

16:48Speaker 6:Skis. Right, I've never been to the Bahamas. You wouldn't have been in the event if it wasn't for me, so just pick me and we'll have a great time.

16:54Speaker 1:There's the pitch. Let's go. There we go.

16:57Speaker 7:I'm just going to wait on that.

16:59Speaker 6:I think I'll ask. What?

17:00Speaker 7:I'm going to ask Marissa and I might ask if Tony can't come, if Marissa can't come and Tony can't come, then I guess I'll.

17:09Speaker 4:Hey.

17:10Speaker 1:You're the third choice.

17:11Speaker 2:Option C.

17:13Speaker 1:Unless the boss interjects herself.

17:15Speaker 2:But you know what, Caden, at least we got you on the list. It's not the top of the list, but you're on the sheet.

17:21Speaker 6:I'm an option, right? I'm number three. Okay.

17:24Speaker 1:And if the other two were to get hurt ankles, they couldn't go.

17:26Speaker 6:No.

17:27Speaker 2:Or if you plant something in Marissa's desk and the cops find out there could be a new charge.

17:32Speaker 7:That's not funny because I don't think she did anything. So don't even joke about that.

17:36Speaker 2:That's very serious.

17:38Speaker 1:You don't know, though.

17:39Speaker 2:Yeah, allegedly.

17:41Speaker 7:Still, don't be putting things in her desk. And don't rag on Tony. He's really cool.

17:46Speaker 2:Man, she's really standing up for all her other friends. Yeah, I know. Okay, you got some work to do, man, but good luck. I got to say, I did like Caden's heartfelt plea at the end where he said going to the Bahamas was his dream.

18:02Speaker 1:Yeah.

18:03Speaker 2:But then again, it's him or Tony. Life of the party, bony Tony. His board shorts are on his head again.

18:10Speaker 3:Oh, man.

18:11Speaker 2:I know who I'm picking to take to the Bahamas with me.

18:13Speaker 4:Honestly, when I asked Caden what his number one benefit of vacationing with him is, and he said not snoring, I was like, whoa.

18:19Speaker 2:He's laying in the right position on the bed. That's what comes to your head first. Yeah.

18:24Speaker 1:Maybe we should start slower. Just visit the next town over for a couple times.

18:29Speaker 2:I mean, Tony just sounded like more fun. And I know Caden's our listener.

18:32Speaker 6:Poor Caden.

18:32Speaker 2:But you got to bring your A game with you if you're going to the Caribbean. So sorry, Caden. You're the C game.

18:39Speaker 6:Oh.

18:40Speaker 2:But don't feel ashamed. Speaking of Seagame, our YouTube. It churns out sea-level material every single weekday, and you should be listening to it. Just hit that subscribe button and follow us on this journey.