Second Date Update UPDATE: Hired A Hinge Coach

0:00Speaker 1:Ooh, all right, we've got a second date update update for you today.

0:03Speaker 2:Yay!

0:04Speaker 1:So you're going to hear the original, and then there's going to be a little ad, and then they're going to be back. So stick around for that.

0:10Speaker 3:Don't miss it.

0:11Speaker 4:Just a tiny ad.

0:12Speaker 1:Yes, but what we never got to talk about was the comments on Tuesday's Awkward Tuesday. I've given you two days now to go listen to it, so if you hear a spoiler right now, not my fault. It was about the moms with the school lunch drama.

0:26Speaker 4:That's right.

0:27Speaker 1:And your guys' comments.

0:29Speaker 5:Oof.

0:29Speaker 1:Feisty in the comments.

0:31Speaker 3:Really?

0:32Speaker 1:Yeah, mostly all hating on the mom who, you know, anti-fruit snack mom.

0:36Speaker 4:Yeah, of course.

0:37Speaker 6:I think a lot of us agreed with the hate on that.

0:39Speaker 4:Yeah, yeah.

0:39Speaker 1:We got some comments that said, when I was single, your podcast scared me about dating. Now I'm married with a baby, and every time you do a call on parenting drama, you unload a new fear for me.

0:49Speaker 2:Oh, no.

0:50Speaker 1:Yeah, we got respectfully screw that mom, LOL. Oh, I would have coordinated with all the moms and had each kid bring one of the items banned all on the same day.

1:01Speaker 4:That's funny.

1:01Speaker 7:I'm only going off memory, and I have a horrible memory, but I do remember somebody texting in going like, wow, respect other people's kids.

1:09Speaker 6:Why is everyone piling on?

1:10Speaker 3:Oh, okay.

1:11Speaker 5:I know.

1:12Speaker 4:I was like, oh, okay. So a little bit of both.

1:14Speaker 1:And I kind of like this one from Phillip.

1:16Speaker 3:Being a U.S.

1:16Speaker 1:Show, am I correct in guessing that fruit snacks aren't actually fruit?

1:19Speaker 2:Ha ha ha! No, Phillip.

1:22Speaker 6:They're not, but that's why it's funny they'll advertise it. They'll be like, Welch's, real fruit.

1:27Speaker 4:That's right. But fruit by the foot, real feet.

1:30Speaker 1:Yeah, there we go. It's different here, Phillip. But all right, here we go. Your second date update update. Please leave comments on this one as well. Starts right now.

1:40Speaker 7:One piece of dating advice you hear a lot is try and take things slow. Don't rush into stuff. Stop trying to force labels early and try to predict the future.

1:53Speaker 4:Just take it easy one day at a time.

1:55Speaker 3:You're speaking Alexis's language.

1:57Speaker 6:That's right.

1:59Speaker 7:Let the wheels of time slowly crush your hopes and dreams. Well, speed was definitely a big concern for one woman. who wasn't sure if it was the right call or not, and now here we are months later to find out what has the slow grind of time done to their blossoming relationship. We're going to find out in a special Second Date Update update right after this.

2:25Speaker 4:Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

2:26Speaker 6:Second Date Update.

2:29Speaker 7:I can't believe I'm saying this, but if you're a guy on a dating app right now, looking back to 2024... Those were the good old days of online meetups.

2:40Speaker 3:Just like a year and a half ago.

2:42Speaker 4:Oh, yeah.

2:42Speaker 6:I don't even remember those days.

2:44Speaker 4:Don't even get me started on 2023. Oh, you liked that.

2:47Speaker 6:One even more, huh?

2:50Speaker 4:They make documentaries about that time.

2:52Speaker 7:But things have really changed, whether it's just a generations thing or the culture. The truth is, there's a lot of swiping and matching and chatting happening, but not a whole lot of meeting and actual romancing.

3:07Speaker 3:You do get the sense that people are just over it.

3:09Speaker 4:Yeah, totally.

3:10Speaker 6:It's like we all know the routine.

3:11Speaker 4:Let's face it. There's a really good Netflix show you can binge with your cat.

3:15Speaker 7:And you don't need some random guy to ruin that for you.

3:19Speaker 3:Honestly, the cat probably smells better.

3:20Speaker 7:Yeah, so just block that dude and move on with your life solo.

3:24Speaker 4:I get it.

3:25Speaker 2:Okay.

3:25Speaker 7:But one of our listeners says he was determined to change that narrative.

3:29Speaker 5:Okay.

3:30Speaker 7:Fix the pattern, and his name is Roman. He's asked for our help today. Roman, welcome to the show.

3:36Speaker 2:Hey, guys, thanks so much for having me.

3:38Speaker 4:What was your plan? How did you try to change the online dating trends?

3:42Speaker 2:Well, dating apps are so hard these days, and a lot of times I don't even know how to really get from just a regular conversation to an actual meetup. Yeah. So I hired a hinge coach.

3:53Speaker 3:Oh, you got a coach for it?

3:55Speaker 2:Yeah.

3:55Speaker 4:Okay. That was a thing. What did your hinge coach, what was his instruction for you?

4:01Speaker 2:You know, he said something that was so simple, but it really changed my life. He said... Once you match, you had a couple of comments back and forth. You didn't have to go for it and say the following. Any quotes?

4:12Speaker 3:Okay.

4:13Speaker 2:I feel like getting to know each other would be more natural in person. Oh.

4:17Speaker 4:That's pretty well said. Implying that this feels very awkward between us.

4:21Speaker 2:Yeah.

4:22Speaker 6:No, it doesn't, Jeff.

4:24Speaker 2:But it worked. It really worked. Now I'm actually getting dates.

4:28Speaker 3:Oh, that's a good transition from the match to the Apple making plans. It's hard not to agree with that statement.

4:35Speaker 6:Yeah. I mean, anybody could use it.

4:37Speaker 7:Who's the woman that you matched with that you want us to call today?

4:41Speaker 2:Well, her name is Haley.

4:43Speaker 4:Okay.

4:44Speaker 3:Now, is this the first person that you use this strategy on?

4:48Speaker 2:It wasn't the first, but it's been the most successful, which is why I'm so curious as to why it's not going any further. Because we went out. We met. It was awesome. Okay.

4:58Speaker 4:What did you do?

4:59Speaker 2:We went to a Mediterranean restaurant. Mediterranean? No, no, no.

5:03Speaker 4:I like Mediterranean.

5:04Speaker 6:Mediterranean.

5:05Speaker 2:Did I say Mediterranean?

5:07Speaker 8:You did.

5:07Speaker 3:That's vegetarian and Mediterranean mixed together, I think.

5:10Speaker 5:Yeah.

5:11Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. We did the vegetarian Mediterranean diet.

5:15Speaker 7:Okay.

5:16Speaker 2:It was going so well that even halfway through the date, we were talking about what we're going to do the next time. Cute.

5:22Speaker 6:Oh, those are rare. I've been on dates like that, but those are rare.

5:26Speaker 4:It's got to be a good sign.

5:27Speaker 2:That's what I thought. But then we're talking and all of a sudden she gets real quiet. And it seems like she's thinking more about it. And I don't know what it is.

5:37Speaker 3:She's like, wait a minute. Why did I say future plans?

5:39Speaker 6:Oh, my God.

5:41Speaker 3:Is that what it felt like? Like she was trying to walk it back?

5:45Speaker 2:Absolutely. I was worried she was thinking if we're moving too fast, or does she have other guys she wants to see? Because, I mean, she is gorgeous.

5:52Speaker 4:She's like, this guy's going to want to take me to another Mediterranean restaurant.

5:56Speaker 3:I mean, it sounds like you have other women you're talking to as well.

6:00Speaker 2:Not really, because my whole thing is, like, we'll talk, but once we go out, if it is successful, then I kind of back off of the other people until I see where this one goes.

6:10Speaker 3:You didn't ask her to do the same, did you?

6:12Speaker 8:No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

6:13Speaker 2:Okay.

6:13Speaker 4:All right, but you could tell there was the hesitation.

6:16Speaker 2:Just for a moment, just for a moment. And then she kind of snapped out of it, and we started talking again, and it was amazing. But, you know, I didn't want to overstay my welcome, so I walked her to her car, and we actually, we cased.

6:28Speaker 3:Cute.

6:30Speaker 4:So what's happened since then?

6:32Speaker 2:She hasn't completely ghosted me, but if I say, hey, do you want to plan the next time, I'll get back to you on that.

6:40Speaker 6:Energy shift.

6:41Speaker 4:It's like noncommittal.

6:43Speaker 2:And I just don't know what's going on, so I really need you guys to help me out.

6:46Speaker 7:Sometimes, Brooke, I'll ask you a question, and you'll say, I'll get back to you on that. You're not completely brushing me off, are you?

6:52Speaker 3:I'll never get back to you on that.

6:53Speaker 7:You should just say that directly, not have.

6:56Speaker 2:Me hanging on.

6:57Speaker 3:But then you'll have follow-up questions if I say that, and then that's annoying.

7:01Speaker 7:Oh, man, where is that hinge coach where you need one to deal with your coworkers?

7:05Speaker 3:Yeah.

7:06Speaker 2:I'll give you his number.

7:07Speaker 3:I have a question. Did you ask him about this?

7:11Speaker 2:No, my free trial expired.

7:14Speaker 4:Oh, okay.

7:15Speaker 5:She's not worth the $ 4.

7:18Speaker 2:99.

7:18Speaker 4:That explains. You're coming to the free service, Brooke and Jeffrey, in the morning.

7:21Speaker 6:Yeah, we're free.

7:22Speaker 3:Hey, remember, you get what you paid for.

7:24Speaker 4:Okay, so we're going to do that. We'll give you exactly what you paid for when we call Haley and get some more details on what really may have happened on your Mediterranean date. It's coming up right after this. Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.

7:39Speaker 6:Second date update.

7:41Speaker 3:You're in the middle of a second date update update, and we're going to find out how the couple is doing right after you hear part two.

7:48Speaker 7:Planning your next date in the middle of your first one, that's something that doesn't normally happen unless you're really clicking and are both feeling excited and vulnerable with each other. And that's what our listener Roman says happened when he met up with Haley for dinner until a few minutes later when Haley suddenly got a little quiet.

8:08Speaker 2:Like, uh-oh.

8:10Speaker 7:Why am I committing so quickly to another hangout with this guy? I barely know him.

8:13Speaker 3:Yeah, that was definitely his read.

8:14Speaker 4:Yeah, Roman wasn't.

8:15Speaker 7:Exactly sure what she was thinking, but he did end up getting a kiss at the end of the night. The weirdest part, though, is since then, she's been kind of brushing him off over and over, where he'll suggest a date and a time, and then she'll say, you know, I'll get back to you on that.

8:32Speaker 6:Yeah.

8:32Speaker 7:So it's been enough delaying where Roman has decided, forget it. I'm just going to come to the radio show. Get some real answers.

8:40Speaker 8:No, remember?

8:40Speaker 6:His trial ran out. Yeah, that's it.

8:42Speaker 2:Well, yes.

8:42Speaker 3:That's it.

8:42Speaker 6:His free trial.

8:43Speaker 4:Wasn't going to pay for more hinge coaching.

8:45Speaker 3:I mean, best case scenario is she is just busy with other dates because you sound like a confident guy. You sound like you're a guy that could be like, yeah, sure. Put me up against some other dudes.

8:55Speaker 2:I'll win.

8:56Speaker 6:Mm-hmm.

8:56Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm going to be honest. I don't like that read. That's not what he should be getting. I really don't want to compete with a bunch of other dudes. Oh, okay.

9:02Speaker 3:Well, I was trying to hype you up as a confident guy.

9:06Speaker 4:Maybe just one other guy.

9:07Speaker 7:Will you go one-on-one with a dude?

9:10Speaker 4:If he's smaller than you?

9:12Speaker 2:If he's smaller, oh, sure.

9:13Speaker 4:We're not beating people up, either of you.

9:15Speaker 6:What are you doing?

9:16Speaker 4:We're doing best-case scenario, like you said, Brooke. I'm on your page.

9:19Speaker 3:All right, let's just call her.

9:20Speaker 4:Okay, here we go. Hopefully it's something totally unrelated to other dudes, but let's find out.

9:30Speaker 5:Hello.

9:31Speaker 4:Hey, my name is Jeff from the radio show, Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning. Is this Haley?

9:37Speaker 2:Yes.

9:37Speaker 8:Who is this?

9:38Speaker 4:This is what I said at the start of the sentence, Jeff from Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning, a radio show.

9:43Speaker 2:Okay.

9:44Speaker 8:I didn't hear you. Your phone cut out earlier. Who is, why are you calling me?

9:48Speaker 2:Sorry.

9:48Speaker 4:That makes, we've had very old phone lines here at the radio station.

9:52Speaker 6:So we got to dial a zero to get out.

9:53Speaker 5:Yes.

9:54Speaker 7:It's a rotary, but we're doing this segment. It's called the second date update.

10:00Speaker 4:Not sure if you're familiar with that.

10:03Speaker 8:No.

10:04Speaker 4:Okay.

10:05Speaker 7:It's a newer segment than the 1940s. It's where we try to help out our slightly.

10:10Speaker 2:Yeah.

10:10Speaker 7:We try to help out our listeners. If they've gone out on a date with someone and felt like they had a good time, and they're confused why they're not getting a call back, we can step in to try and get them some answers.

10:22Speaker 8:I mean, who are you calling to me about?

10:25Speaker 4:Brooke, do you want to say? Or have you forgotten the person? I'll step in. It's a very, very close friend of the show, clearly. His name is Roman.

10:36Speaker 3:That's it, Roman.

10:39Speaker 8:Roman called you?

10:40Speaker 7:Yeah, he emailed us, and we spoke to him a little bit about your hangout at dinner. And according to him, he said that you two got off to a really strong start.

10:50Speaker 8:Yeah, I mean, I think we did. What else did he tell you about things?

10:54Speaker 2:Okay.

10:54Speaker 6:That's good.

10:55Speaker 2:That's cute.

10:56Speaker 4:I mean, all good stuff from Roman.

10:58Speaker 3:Yeah, he said that you were talking about future dates even.

11:02Speaker 4:That was a good sign.

11:03Speaker 8:Yeah, that was honestly really awkward or weird in the moment. I just couldn't believe that that was actually something we were talking about.

11:10Speaker 4:Oh, yeah, sorry. That's how Roman felt, too. He felt awkward about it. He was like, I don't know if this is a good idea.

11:15Speaker 3:What do you mean you couldn't believe you were talking about it? Is it a good way you couldn't believe it?

11:20Speaker 5:Well, I mean.

11:21Speaker 8:it's not usually something you do on the first day. And I just kind of didn't really know how the next couple of months would look. And to have that commitment chat on the first day, I was like, I don't know really what to say.

11:34Speaker 3:Oh, like your.

11:35Speaker 6:Life is a little sporadic, like your job or something.

11:39Speaker 8:No, I mean, it's just that it's about to be wedding season and I'm in a wedding and going to three others. And, um, I just kind of felt, am I going to have to invite this dude to all of these weddings now? And if I don't, is he going to be upset?

11:56Speaker 6:Oh.

11:57Speaker 3:I mean, Alexis would know this. Wedding season is like a whole thing for her.

12:01Speaker 1:I mean, most of my friends don't have money for weddings, so you don't even get a plus one anyway.

12:03Speaker 2:Okay.

12:04Speaker 3:Unless you're seriously dating.

12:06Speaker 4:You're like looking ahead being like, is it going to be awkward if I try to bring this guy around all my friends? And I don't know, maybe your family member.

12:13Speaker 8:I mean, two of these weddings, they're absolutely going to have to meet my grandmother.

12:17Speaker 2:So it's like.

12:19Speaker 8:Do you just make this person who you just met have the pressure of going to these things or am I going to hurt their feelings? Like, I just I kind of felt like, you know, let's just wait till after the wedding season is done.

12:32Speaker 6:This actually makes sense to me.

12:34Speaker 4:It doesn't.

12:35Speaker 1:You can't bring an extra person.

12:36Speaker 7:But until wedding season is done, like how long is that going to be? It could be five to six months down the road that you would have to wait.

12:43Speaker 2:Yeah.

12:44Speaker 8:But we're still talking. I'm just not.

12:47Speaker 2:I just don't.

12:47Speaker 8:Is he going to be my boyfriend at this point? Like, do we put that pressure on the first date?

12:51Speaker 4:Careful, bro.

12:53Speaker 5:Careful.

12:53Speaker 6:She's going to say something insensitive.

12:54Speaker 3:No, you're so many steps down the road right now. Like, you're not in the present.

12:59Speaker 8:That's how it made me feel. That's why I was kind of like, oh, my God.

13:03Speaker 3:Okay. So you're thinking that he's so many steps down and you're not quite, you're not in step with him.

13:11Speaker 8:I want to pursue this. I'm talking to him. I'm enjoying the conversation.

13:15Speaker 2:I just don't want the drama.

13:17Speaker 7:All right, this is definitely, I don't think, what we expected to hear from you when we called you, and it's certainly not going to be on Roman's radar, I'd imagine.

13:25Speaker 2:Yeah.

13:26Speaker 4:But let's find out, because he is on the other line right now waiting to talk to you.

13:29Speaker 2:Hey, how's it going?

13:33Speaker 8:Oh, my God.

13:34Speaker 5:Hi.

13:35Speaker 2:Hey, so I'm sorry if I made you feel like I was pushing things.

13:39Speaker 4:I really wasn't.

13:41Speaker 8:No, that's the thing, though.

13:42Speaker 5:You weren't.

13:43Speaker 8:It was just the situation evolved so nicely that it just sat kind of like, okay, well, here's the next step. And that's a lot of pressure to put on somebody you just met.

13:53Speaker 2:I guess I could see where you're coming from. Why didn't you tell me about the wedding season thing?

14:00Speaker 8:Because I don't know how to talk about that. Like, oh, I like you so much, but I can't invite you to these weddings because that might make you feel weird.

14:07Speaker 2:And that would have been okay.

14:08Speaker 1:It's a pretty good sentence.

14:11Speaker 8:I just feel like this would be a whole lot easier if we had met in September at the end of wedding season.

14:17Speaker 4:At the end of the day, there is no perfect time for you to start seeing someone.

14:21Speaker 3:That is true. There is no such thing as perfect timing. I mean, it just doesn't exist.

14:26Speaker 7:Unless you're talking about the end of March for that one week. Yes, right after you've gotten over Valentine's, right before you get into St.

14:35Speaker 4:Paddy's Day and all that stuff.

14:38Speaker 3:I mean, I just wish Haley could hear herself. Like, you sound so into this possible relationship.

14:45Speaker 8:I am.

14:45Speaker 2:He's awesome.

14:47Speaker 4:Aw, it's really cute.

14:49Speaker 6:It's going to be so cute when you see him in six months.

14:51Speaker 3:I mean, who cares if he meets your grandma and then you end up breaking up?

14:58Speaker 6:Come on.

14:59Speaker 4:What if he doesn't even want to go to the wedding?

15:00Speaker 3:Why does that even matter, though? Like, I don't understand.

15:03Speaker 8:My grandma's going to freaking love him. Like, I know that. And then she's going to feel bad if we don't work out.

15:10Speaker 4:Oh, my God. So much pressure.

15:12Speaker 3:But what if you do work out? Like, what if we looked at that angle instead?

15:16Speaker 8:Is that realistic, though?

15:18Speaker 4:Who cares? 1% of all couples?

15:21Speaker 3:Life is short. Bring him to all the weddings.

15:24Speaker 4:I mean, honestly.

15:25Speaker 7:We're going to ask the question here in just a second, but we haven't heard from Roman in a little bit. So, Roman, is there anything that you have to say to Haley?

15:34Speaker 2:Yeah. I hate that you're putting so much pressure on yourself and us. I can work around your schedule, and if it would make you uncomfortable for me to come to one of your weddings, I just won't come. Yeah.

15:44Speaker 4:They're not her weddings, at least I don't think. I would hope not. Friends and family members. Grandma's there.

15:51Speaker 2:You know what? I just want to see her, so whatever she feels comfortable with, however that works, I'm good. Aww.

15:56Speaker 3:Dude, Haley, that could not have been a better response.

16:00Speaker 2:Seriously.

16:01Speaker 7:So at this point, we would like to offer to pay for your next date with Roman, whether that happens next week or at the end of September. Whenever you're comfortable, we will fund it. If you say yes.

16:15Speaker 8:I would love to see him again. And so if he's cool, and we'll just take it day by day, I guess.

16:20Speaker 6:There you go.

16:22Speaker 3:That's the only way you can take it.

16:23Speaker 7:Okay, now to put a final stamp and seal on this, can we get Grandma on the phone and get her blessing too?

16:30Speaker 8:You'd never get her off the phone.

16:33Speaker 6:That's a true grandma. Love it.

16:36Speaker 2:Brooke and Jeffrey in the Morning.

16:38Speaker 7:Well, it's been a few months, and Haley and Roman reached out to give us an update, update on their situation. But our producer only has one of them on the phone right now. Looks like we've got Haley with us.

16:50Speaker 8:Uh-oh.

16:50Speaker 4:Haley, welcome back to the show.

16:52Speaker 2:Hey, guys.

16:54Speaker 6:What's up?

16:55Speaker 4:Yeah, what's going on with you and Roman?

16:58Speaker 8:Well, nothing anymore.

16:59Speaker 2:Oh, no. Oh, man.

17:02Speaker 6:What happened?

17:04Speaker 8:Well, we dated for a few months, and then I ended up taking him.

17:08Speaker 2:To one of the weddings. You did? That I was so nervous about. Oh, my God.

17:12Speaker 5:Yeah, I did.

17:13Speaker 6:We were all nervous about it. It happened.

17:15Speaker 4:Oh, my God. Oh, my God. How was it?

17:18Speaker 2:It definitely happened.

17:20Speaker 8:It just didn't go the way I had planned.

17:22Speaker 6:What do you mean?

17:23Speaker 3:What did he do?

17:25Speaker 2:Hold on.

17:25Speaker 7:You were worried about you thought it'd be too soon to take him to meet up with friends and family at big events and stuff.

17:31Speaker 3:Right.

17:32Speaker 2:Yeah.

17:32Speaker 8:But I was definitely worried about the wrong thing.

17:35Speaker 3:Okay.

17:37Speaker 4:What should you have been worried about?

17:40Speaker 8:So I bring him to this wedding and I think everything's going well. He's getting along with everybody, like including the staff that's helping and stuff.

17:49Speaker 2:And then I never heard from him after that wedding. Oh, no.

17:54Speaker 7:He joined the wedding staff and now he lives there permanently?

17:58Speaker 8:Well, I find out later he didn't join the wedding staff. He just started to date someone from.

18:04Speaker 2:The wedding staff.

18:05Speaker 3:What?

18:06Speaker 4:Wait, what?

18:06Speaker 5:No.

18:07Speaker 4:What do you mean?

18:09Speaker 8:So the wedding planner was just really using him as like labor at that time, I thought. And I was like, oh, he's being so helpful. What a cool, nice guy. I didn't really think him and the wedding planner were flirting necessarily. but I was wrong because they are still dating.

18:26Speaker 5:Oh!

18:27Speaker 7:The wedding planner came in?

18:30Speaker 6:Well, at least you introduced him to his new love of his life.

18:34Speaker 5:Oh, God.

18:35Speaker 8:I mean, I don't know necessarily how long this love will last because, spoiler, she's 70 years old.

18:40Speaker 2:Wait!

18:42Speaker 5:So, you know, Nana has more game than me.

18:52Speaker 6:Haley, how did that happen?

18:54Speaker 8:I don't know. And I'm really trying to not like get in my head about it, but you know, I have issues with that.

19:01Speaker 2:Yeah.

19:03Speaker 7:Oh, now there's a whole new reason not to bring a future boyfriend to a wedding.

19:07Speaker 8:Yeah, you can never be too careful. That's the moral of the story.

19:12Speaker 6:Oh, geez.

19:13Speaker 4:I'm glad we all learned a valuable lesson.

19:15Speaker 7:But if you ever need help with a future love of yours, you can reach out to us again.

19:19Speaker 4:Okay, Haley?

19:20Speaker 8:Thank you, guys.

19:21Speaker 5:Thank you.

19:22Speaker 2:Yes, please.

19:23Speaker 4:Oh, my God. It's Brooke and Jeffrey in the morning.