HOW TO ACTUALLY GET OVER SOMEONE

0:00[SPEAKER_00]: To whoever this may impact, sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed, and rearranged to relocate as we were really meant to be. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, change feels like loss, transformation is scary, and sometimes, to discover the best versions of ourselves, we must let go of absolutely everything that's holding us down. [SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to our mystery, your new safe space. [SPEAKER_00]: I'm excited to form a part of your healing journey.

0:25[SPEAKER_00]: Today, we're talking about something that I think every single one of us has had to face at some point. [SPEAKER_00]: How to actually get over someone? [SPEAKER_00]: And I don't mean pretending you're over them will secretly start their stories or be reading their text at 2 a.m. [SPEAKER_00]: I mean actually moving on, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and I know it's easier set than done. [SPEAKER_00]: We all tell ourselves, I'm fine, I'm over it.

0:47[SPEAKER_00]: Until something random, as male, a song on TikTok, it quote that hits too close. [SPEAKER_00]: Reminds us that maybe we're not. [SPEAKER_00]: So I talk about what really getting over someone looks like because it's not pretty, but it's worth it. [SPEAKER_00]: Let's talk about the illusion of moving on. [SPEAKER_00]: Getting over someone doesn't happen overnight. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not a straight line. [SPEAKER_00]: It's messy, it's confusing.

1:07[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it feels like you're taking 10 steps forward, any living back. [SPEAKER_00]: like you've let go, and then you'll have days where you're crying in your car. [SPEAKER_00]: Convincing yourself that maybe the universe made a mistake. [SPEAKER_00]: That's okay. [SPEAKER_00]: Healing doesn't look perfect. [SPEAKER_00]: It looks human. [SPEAKER_00]: The biggest mistake we make is trying to perform moving on. [SPEAKER_00]: We post the stories.

1:30[SPEAKER_00]: We flirt with the new people. [SPEAKER_00]: We go out with friends. [SPEAKER_00]: Not because we're ready, but because we're trying to convince ourselves. [SPEAKER_00]: we are. [SPEAKER_00]: But pretending you're fine is like putting a bandaid on a wound that still needs stitches. [SPEAKER_00]: It might look healed from the outside, but inside it's still bleeding. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need to prove to anyone that you're over it. [SPEAKER_00]: You just need to be honest with yourself that you're not yet.

1:52[SPEAKER_00]: And that's where real healing begins. [SPEAKER_00]: When you stop performing and start processing. [SPEAKER_00]: Now, I want you to understand that you're not missing them. [SPEAKER_00]: You're missing the idea, this one's tough, because most of the time, we're not actually missing them, we're missing the idea of them. [SPEAKER_00]: The version we created in our head, we missed the moments that feel like love, the comfort of their routine.

2:13[SPEAKER_00]: the fantasy of who you thought they could become, but if we're honest, a lot of that was in real. [SPEAKER_00]: You're probably missing how you felt around them, the excitement, the validation, the comfort, but missing a feeling isn't the same as missing a person when you step back and look at the full picture. [SPEAKER_00]: Not the highlights, but the whole story, you start to see the cracks you once ignored. [SPEAKER_00]: The parts of you that dimmed to make them comfortable, the boundaries you softened to keep the peace, are brain-remanticizes what's gone because pain wants to make sense of itself.

2:44[SPEAKER_00]: But nostalgia is a liar. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, it edits out the bad parts and only replace it good. [SPEAKER_00]: So next time you catch yourself saying, I miss them. [SPEAKER_00]: Remind yourself that what you're probably miss is who you were when you didn't know better. [SPEAKER_00]: And that version of you deserves grace, not judgment. [SPEAKER_00]: Please stop checking what they're doing. [SPEAKER_00]: All right, this one's going to hurt a little.

3:06[SPEAKER_00]: But you can't heal from something you keep reopening. [SPEAKER_00]: Stop checking their stories. [SPEAKER_00]: Stop repeating all messages. [SPEAKER_00]: Stop stalking who they follow. [SPEAKER_00]: Because every time you do, [SPEAKER_00]: You're picking out a scrap that's trying to close, and you're convincing yourself, you're still a part of their story. [SPEAKER_00]: When you're not, I know the urge. [SPEAKER_00]: You just want to check, just one look, but healing requires discipline.

3:28[SPEAKER_00]: You can't detox from something you keep consuming. [SPEAKER_00]: Think of it like an addiction. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't ease of an addiction. [SPEAKER_00]: You go cold turkey, mute them, block them, on follow if you have to, not because you hate them, but because your piece deserves protection. [SPEAKER_00]: Every time you choose to not look, you're choosing you. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's the beginning of freedom. [SPEAKER_00]: One of the most important steps is to feel the pain, don't avoid it, healing is uncomfortable.

3:54[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why most people avoid it. [SPEAKER_00]: We distract ourselves with work, with new people, with noise, anything that keeps us from sitting alone with the ache. [SPEAKER_00]: But the truth is, the only way out is through. [SPEAKER_00]: You can't heal what you refuse to feel. [SPEAKER_00]: Cry, scream, journal, talk to your friends, let yourself greed what could have been, because heartbreak is grief. [SPEAKER_00]: It's the death of a version of yourself.

4:18[SPEAKER_00]: It's the death of a version of your life. [SPEAKER_00]: You thought you'd had, and grief is in weakness. [SPEAKER_00]: It's proven that you cared. [SPEAKER_00]: So stop rushing your sadness away, stop trying to positive vibe your way out of your real emotions. [SPEAKER_00]: Healing isn't about avoiding pain, but it's about surviving it until it transforms you. [SPEAKER_00]: And it will transform you. [SPEAKER_00]: One day, the same pain that keeps breaking you will be the reason someone else feels understood when you share your story.

4:45[SPEAKER_00]: Now, rewrite the story. [SPEAKER_00]: Eventually, the pain softens. [SPEAKER_00]: You'll catch yourself smiling again, laughing, living. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's when you start realizing, maybe it was never about losing them, but it was about finding you. [SPEAKER_00]: You remember who you were before them. [SPEAKER_00]: And you will start rebuilding the version of yourself that you abandoned to fit inside their world. [SPEAKER_00]: That's what heartbreak does.

5:09[SPEAKER_00]: It gives you the chance to start over intentionally, to decide who you are without their influence. [SPEAKER_00]: without their validation, when you stop asking, why did this happen to me and start asking, what is this teaching me? [SPEAKER_00]: That's when you reclaim your power, because heartbreak doesn't ruin you. [SPEAKER_00]: It reveals you. [SPEAKER_00]: It shows you what you value, what you need, what you'll never settle for again.

5:32[SPEAKER_00]: And so maybe getting over someone, isn't about forgetting them. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe it's about our growing them. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe there were never meant to stay. [SPEAKER_00]: Maybe there were just meant to show you. [SPEAKER_00]: who you could become once they left. [SPEAKER_00]: Focus on rebuilding your life. [SPEAKER_00]: Now that the emotional dust has started to settle, it's time to rebuild, not by distraction, but by rediscovery.

5:52[SPEAKER_00]: Start doing things that make you feel alive again. [SPEAKER_00]: Reductorate your space, change your playlist, take yourself on dates, say yes to no experiences. [SPEAKER_00]: Feel your life with things that remind you of your own energy, your laughter, your independence, your goals, because when we lose someone, our world feels smaller. [SPEAKER_00]: But that's the thing. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not smaller. [SPEAKER_00]: It's just waiting for you to feel it again.

6:15[SPEAKER_00]: We building your life is an act of self-love. [SPEAKER_00]: And when you start doing that, you'll realize you were never incomplete. [SPEAKER_00]: You just forgot who you were for a little while. [SPEAKER_00]: The goal isn't to erase the past, it's to rebuild a future that feels full without needing anyone else to complete it. [SPEAKER_00]: Now very hard, but very necessary, let go with love. [SPEAKER_00]: Letting go doesn't always mean cutting someone off with hate or anger, but it means accepting that some stories don't need a sequel.

6:40[SPEAKER_00]: You can honor what you had without wanting it back. [SPEAKER_00]: You can be grateful for where to talk you, even if it ended badly. [SPEAKER_00]: Closure doesn't always come in a conversation. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, it's just a quiet decision you make inside yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: A moment where you choose peace over chaos and softness over bitterness. [SPEAKER_00]: Letting go with love doesn't mean you're weak. [SPEAKER_00]: It means you're strong enough to forgive, not for them, but for yourself.

7:04[SPEAKER_00]: Because peace is expensive. [SPEAKER_00]: and you can't afford to waste it on resentment. [SPEAKER_00]: So how does healing actually look like? [SPEAKER_00]: Healing doesn't look like indifference. [SPEAKER_00]: It looks like acceptance. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about pretending you don't care. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about acting on bothered, but it is about getting to a place where you can finally breathe again without feeling heavy.

7:22[SPEAKER_00]: It's not about forgetting their birthday or pretending in the memories never existed. [SPEAKER_00]: But it is about being able to remember without spiraling. [SPEAKER_00]: It's about being able to say that was a part of my life. [SPEAKER_00]: but it's not my life anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: Healing looks like little moments. [SPEAKER_00]: Not big breakthroughs. [SPEAKER_00]: It's the first time you go a whole day without checking their page.

7:41[SPEAKER_00]: It's when you find an old hoodie they left behind and instead of crying, you just smile and fold it away. [SPEAKER_00]: It's realizing you can talk about them without your voice shaking. [SPEAKER_00]: It's when you hear their favorite song and your chest doesn't tighten. [SPEAKER_00]: It's when you stop rewriting the ending in your head, because you finally accept that this is how it was meant to end. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's when you realize you don't need an apology anymore.

8:02[SPEAKER_00]: You don't need closure. [SPEAKER_00]: You don't need one last text. [SPEAKER_00]: Because deep down, you've already given yourself all of the closure that you needed. [SPEAKER_00]: You start to wish them well, not because you want them back. [SPEAKER_00]: But because your heart is too full to carry hate. [SPEAKER_00]: That's real growth. [SPEAKER_00]: That's peace. [SPEAKER_00]: And here's the thing that nobody tells you about healing.

8:21[SPEAKER_00]: It's slow. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not linear. [SPEAKER_00]: And it's not always this empowering low-up moment. [SPEAKER_00]: You see on social media. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometime healing is sitting in silence. [SPEAKER_00]: and then realizing you don't even know who you are without them anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: It's starting to meet that version of yourself again. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's crying on random Tuesdays because something's small remind that you of them.

8:39[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes it's laughing again and then feeling guilty for laughing. [SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes it's thinking you're over them until you're not. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's all okay. [SPEAKER_00]: You're allowed to fluctuate. [SPEAKER_00]: You're allowed to feel both the loss and the freedom. [SPEAKER_00]: Healing is in a race. [SPEAKER_00]: It's not about getting to the finish line first. [SPEAKER_00]: It's about letting every version of you that loved, that hurt, that hoped, and that fell apart have their moment to exist and be released.

9:03[SPEAKER_00]: Because that version of you, that beg to be chosen. [SPEAKER_00]: She deserves compassion and not shame. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes healing looks like finally admitting you stayed longer than you should have. [SPEAKER_00]: Not because you were weak, but because you loved deeply and believed in potential. [SPEAKER_00]: And that's not something to regret, that's something to repart of. [SPEAKER_00]: It takes bravery to love, even more bravery to let go.

9:23[SPEAKER_00]: And the most courage to stay softer after being hurt. [SPEAKER_00]: and healing, real healing, is realizing that you can do it all, is realizing that you can do all of that and still keep your heart open. [SPEAKER_00]: It's knowing that love will come again, that it will feel different next time. [SPEAKER_00]: If we'll save, ground it, neutral, because this time, you will know your worth. [SPEAKER_00]: Some days, healing looks like journaling.

9:45[SPEAKER_00]: In some days, it looks like dancing in your kitchen. [SPEAKER_00]: Some days it looks like deleting photos you held on to for too long. [SPEAKER_00]: And some days it just looks like breathing through the ache and whispering, I'm okay, I'm getting there. [SPEAKER_00]: You start creating new memories, not to erase the old ones, but to remind yourself that life still has beauty left in it. [SPEAKER_00]: You start taking yourself out again.

10:07[SPEAKER_00]: You start looking in the mirror and recognizing your reflection again. [SPEAKER_00]: You start to fall in love, not with someone new, but with your peace, with your mornings, with your solitude, and that's the beauty of feeling. [SPEAKER_00]: It's quiet, no one appalled to you for it, no one really sees it happen, but one day it's there. [SPEAKER_00]: You'll wake up and realize that your heart doesn't feel happy anymore. [SPEAKER_00]: You'll realize that you stop narrating your life through their memory.

10:30[SPEAKER_00]: It doesn't happen in one big moment, but it happens gradually. [SPEAKER_00]: And the process between thoughts, in the way your laughter sounds lighter, and the way your energy starts to shed back towards yourself. [SPEAKER_00]: And one day, you'll think of them, and it will just be neutral. [SPEAKER_00]: No pain, no rush of nostalgia. [SPEAKER_00]: No anger, just gratitude, gratitude that you experience something that taught you, gratitude that you cared enough to hurt, gratitude that you're still here, still trying, still learning, and still loving.

10:58[SPEAKER_00]: Getting over someone isn't about forgetting them, but it's about forgiving yourself, forgiving so much of your heart to something that wasn't meant to last. [SPEAKER_00]: For believing in love that didn't know how to love you back, for not leaving the first time your heart told you to. [SPEAKER_00]: for giving yourself a being human, because that's all heartbreak is. [SPEAKER_00]: The most human thing we can experience, and love doesn't always mean staying, and things don't always mean failure.

11:22[SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, and things are a protection. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, heartbreaks are a weakening. [SPEAKER_00]: Sometimes, they're the beginning of everything that was waiting for you once you were brave enough to let go. [SPEAKER_00]: So if you're listening to this right now, and you're still healing, I want you to know that it is okay. [SPEAKER_00]: You're not behind. [SPEAKER_00]: you're not broken, you're just in the end between the part of the story where your character rebuilds, the part no one posts about, but the part that changes everything because one day you'll meet someone new or maybe you won't and you'll just meet you and either way it'll make sense because a love you gave won't go to waste, it'll come back to you and the form of peace and the form of purpose and the form of people who love you the way that you always [SPEAKER_00]: And that's how you'll know you'll actually move on with love, Mafie.